Treasure Every Moment
by Cassia4u
Summary: Some would think it was just the calm in the storm...but they were wrong. The storm had come to an end a long, long while ago. Cover by Nadjaaa
1. Chapter 1

_**Treasure Every Moment**_

_**DISCLAIMER-Everything is J.K Rowling's! If I owned this it would be called a prequel, not a fanfiction.**_

**PLEASE NOTE! THIS IS NOT YOUR AVERAGE LILY AND JAMES STORY, THOUGH IT MAY SEEM SO FOR AWHILE...JUST WAIT. SO, NOT EVERYTHING IS CANON, EXACTLY. I DON'T HAVE EVERY DETAIL. That's all. Now, enjoy, dear readers :)**

_I solemnly swear that I am up to no good._

_Prologue_

I, Lily Evans, was officially nervous. No, not just brush-it-off-now-be-a-big-girl nervous. It was more like heart-pounding, hands-clammy, stomach-swooping scared.

But the words I lived by, my motto for better or for worse, were coming back to bite me in the butt. Being brave does not mean never being scared-it means pressing on even when you're _terrified._

So I pressed on, trying to find Severus even when I was jostled by two teenage boys that were practically wrestling-Sevvy was nowhere in sight, and I sat straight down in a compartment full of girls I didn't know.

"Hi," I smiled, hopefully concealing my giddiness as meeting four girls...like me. These girls were _witches. _"I'm Lily, Lily Evans." Maybe...maybe I was going to find my place at Hogwarts-I was determined I would. Tuney was wrong. It wasn't a "school for freaks."

"Hiya, Lily!" A small, bubbly girl with sleek black hair pulled back into a ponytail sidled up to me. "I'm Marlene McKinnon."

"I'm Dorcas Meadowes," the next girl gave me a bashful grin, pushing her white-blonde hair behind her ear. The two other girls introduced themselves as Summer and Viva-I could tell that they already knew each other because they mostly kept to themselves after that.

"Three chocolate frogs, please!" Marlene chirped to the trolley lady, handing over a currency that made my eyes pop open with curiosity.

"What's that?" I asked, surprised. They both look at me oddly.

"Those are sickles. You know, the currenc-oh, you're muggleborn, aren't you?" Dorcas nodded to herself, proud of her deduction.

"Oh!" Marlene clapped her hands. "So you've never had a chocolate frog, than!" her eyes danced mischievously.

"Open!" Dorcas grinned, handing me the box and leaning over with excitement. The trolley lady was grinning sentimentally. I slowly opened the lid. Just a regular choco- _"RIBBET!" _I screamed more in shock than in fear, dropping the suddenly living (but somehow still chocolate) frog onto my black robes in surprise.

"Let's catch it!" Dorcas laughed with delight as we both dove to catch it, Marlene roaring with laughter as the frog leapt straight over our heads just as we were closing in. The trolley lady rolled away, chuckling. The frog croaked indignantly, jumping up and out of our open compartment door.

Suddenly, a nimble hand swooped down, catching the frog in mid air. It went still. "Mobility charm wore off," the boy explained, handing it back to me. I was still flushed and smiling, on my knees, and Marlene was going into random snorting fits behind me.

"Hey, Potter," Marlene addressed the boy who was still watching me; he ran a hand through his unruly black hair, hazel eyes twinkling behind his glasses. "We're neighbors," Marlene explained.

"No hi for me? What is this?" Came a humorous, drawling voice from behind the Potter boy. "I don't know his name, _or _yours," I pointed to Potter. "But I'm Lily," I smiled up at him.

"And I'm Marlene, and this is Dorcas," Marlene jammed a thumb toward Dorcas, who was partially hidden behind the wall that held the door.

"Serious," the second boy said.

"She is being serious," Dorcas poked her head around the corner, entering the conversation.

"No, my name's Sirius, seriously,"he grinned wickedly at the cheesy joke.

"Get a lot of use out of that one?" the Potter boy drawled, mouth twitching like he was going to smile. Sirius stared for a second.

"Hey, I like you. Want to go get some Bertie's Beans?" he decided.

"Yeah!" Potter's eyes lit up. Without another word, the boys departed; scuffling and loud laughter echoed through the halls.

"Boys," Marlene rolled her eyes.

"Knowing them, that thirty second snippet was the beginning of a lifelong friendship," Dorcas observed.

Soon after, Marlene and Dorcas began to eagerly explain everything about Hogwarts that anyone had ever told them-parents, siblings, cousins, friends. What I made of the houses was that Gryffindor, where the brave dwell, was the best. Or at least, that's what Marlene and Dorcas seemed to agree on. Because of that, I didn't hear much about other three houses. Unconsciously, the three of us were making lifelong friendships of our own. They now had their project of bringing me into the knowledge of the world of magic, but I also had my own-Marlene was a pureblood, and Dorcas was somewhere between a half-blood and a pureblood, I wasn't sure what to call that. They both knew next to nothing about the muggle world-so of course, I educated them in the best way. I told them about Elvis, my favorite singer of all time. I was determined to have them humming his catchy tunes by the time I was done with them.

On the way back from the trolley, the Potter boy stopped and poked his head back in- "By the way," he swept his eyes around our compartment til they found mine. "The name's James."

My eyes were set permanently on the setting of saucer-size ever since we'd gotten off the train and I'd gotten my first glimpse of the huge, ancient looking castle they called a school. This wasn't some magical fantasy now-this was completely, solidly real. I couldn't stop staring with a huge, silly grin gracing my face even now, when we were in the entrance hall of Hogwarts, waiting to be sorted.

"I hope you get Slytherin!" Sev looked at me in that scrutinizing way of his, like he was contemplating which house I'd best be in.

"Me, too," I beamed at my first magical friend, oblivious to why my new friends seemed so uneasy around him. "I don't know anything about it, though," I added as an afterthought, twirling the end of my curly red braid around my finger and trying to take in everything at once.

"Slytherin?" Came a male voice, clearly full of disgust. James Potter popped up on Sevvy's right, elbowing him to the side with an obvious lack of concern for the shorter boy.

"My whole family was in Slytherin," the boy with James drawled, crossing his arms over his chest and putting all of his weight on one foot. I recognized him from the train as Sirius. The duo seemed to have quickly added a third member-a boy with shaggy, dark blonde hair rested an elbow on Sirius's shoulder. "But I don't think I want to be. Where are you heading, if you've got the choice?" Sirius asked James.

"Gryffindor, where the brave dwell at heart!' Like my dad!" Severus snorted, trying not to laugh. "Got a problem with that?" He turned on Severus, eyes flashing.

"No, if you'd rather be brawny than brainy." James started forward, but the third boy who had joined him and Sirius pulled him back. "C'mon Lily, we don't need to be hanging out around _them," _Sev murmured with clear dislike.

"What's that?"James shot to attention. "I could be saying the same for you...Snivellus, is it?"

"It's _Severus," _I snapped, glaring at the three boys who were on varying degrees trying to muffle their guffaws. "And we're _leaving." _I shot a glare at the dumbfounded Potter boy behind me, my face hot, which I took to mean my cheeks were as flame-red as my hair.

That day was the first in a long, long, _long _line of Potter annoying me to the point of me fantasizing about cutting his ego into bite-sized chunks and feeding them to the squid in the Black Lake. Not only did he and his fellow Marauders (now numbered four) annoy Severus, they right out tormented him. Except for Remus, who was the most level-headed of the four, although even he could not completely abstain from the temptation.

I stuck up for Sev for years-until fifth year, actually. Sevvy and I were best friends until then. What happened, you ask? Sevvy-Severus, I mean-called me a mudblood. And that was just too far. (Besides, even before that he was spending too much of his time with those wanna-be Death Eaters.) James tried to make him apologize-but I wasn't interested in a forced apology. Did that somehow make me fall into James Potter's arms? Not _even _close.

**Chapter 1-5.5 years later, to be precise**

_You had me from hello, I felt love start to grow, the moment that I looked into your eyes you won me, it was over from the start, you completely stole my heart...girl, I've loved you from hello -Kenny Chesney "You Had Me From Hello" _

"Liiiiiiiiiillllllyyyyy!" Emmaline Vance, or Emmy, flung herself dramatically across her four-poster bed, messing her already bunched in a pile Gryffindor sheets. "Detention is _horrible!" _her curly brown hair splayed out behind her head.

"You're my best friend, and I love you, Emmy," I laughed. "But you _were _flicking eye of newt at Sirius."

"Of course I was. He was asking for it," she said like this was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Are you two coming, or what?" Marlene McKinnon demanded, sticking her head in the doorway, Gryffindor scarf wrapped around her head, a la old lady.

"You like?" Dorcas Meadowes swooped in behind her, hands held up, showing off Marlene's scarf style which was probably her own handiwork. Marlene grinned sheepishly, side-stepping as petite Alice Prewett, our final roommate, rushed in, hurrying us along. She was playing in today's Quidditch match, and didn't want to be late.

"Come on, come on!" she whipped us with her scarf, cheeks and nose tinged pink from the outside cold. "Time to kick Slytherin BUTT!" she cheered, and I tried not to think about Sev at the mention of his house. Snape, I mentally corrected myself. My heart still hurt after losing my best friend, even a year later.

It took only until the excitement of the Quidditch game starting to keep my mind of Severus.

"Gooooo Gryffindoooooor!"I joined in the elated cheering as we got possession of the quaffle. My cheeks were so numb and so red they probably matched my hair.

"Any certain chaser?" Dorcas winked at me. I rolled my green eyes at her teasing smile, knowing she was talking about Potter. Course, it didn't help when the whistle blew for a time-out and said boy flew over to where we were on the stands, grinning mischievously with the very smile that had earned him his fan club. Not quite as extensive as Sirius's, of course, but that might be changed if he stopped asking me out every. Waking. Second.

"Hey, Flower," he winked and I bristled.

"That's _Evans _to you, Potter," I tried to ignore him as he ran a hand through his already wind-tossed hair.

"I'll call you whatever you want if you go out with me," he pleaded, slowly drifting closer and closer to where my friends and I sat in the stands.

"Once again, Potter," I was totally unaware that Marlene, Dorcas, and Emmy were mouthing this last statement right along with me-my overused Potter-rejection. "NO!"

"That's alright," he grinned, not fazed in the slightest. "There's always the next ten minutes!" I groaned as he flew away, the final stretch of the game re-starting. I never had to be careful about the degree of harshness to which I rejected Potter, because no matter how hard the rejection, his ego would keep him in high spirits.

"You know, Lily," Emmy sidled up to me. "If you just said yes, it would save a lot of breath."

"But no is so much shorter than yes," I smiled, stubborn as ever. Emmy rolled her eyes, sneaking a peek to where the three non-Quidditch-y Marauders were sitting, down the stands a ways.

"Sirius-watching, are we?" I wiggled my eyebrows. "Revenge is sweet," I cackled evilly at the reddening color of her face-the effect was definitely strange. Only Emmy could put a blush on top of wind-stung cheeks. She opened her mouth, but was spared the answer-the whistle blow signaling the end of the game could just barely be heard over the red and gold clad students' cheering that reverberated around the stadium.

"Yes!" My friends and I screamed, jumping up and down. We raced down to the pitch, excited to crush tiny Alice Prewett into a five-way hug.

"Party-common room-squeezing lungs!" she gasps out. "Want to ride up to the castle, Lily? Unless Emmy wants to, of course?" Alice smiled devilishly on the last bit.

"The day you date Dumbledore!" Emmy gasped, giggling.

"Let's go!" I agreed excitedly over the giggles that followed Emmy's comparison.

"Take this," Alice laughed, handing me the broom. "Here, Miss Risky-only-on-a-broom! Going in the normal way, I suppose? Window unlocked?"

"You bet," I assure her, throwing one leg over.

"I don't understand why you don't just join Quidditch," practical Dorcas mused, cocking her head up to look at me as I rose slowly.

"Love the air and speed, hate the game," was my answer as I gradually ascended. I wanted to beat the rush so no tattle-tale eyes could glimpse Prefect Lily climbing in the roof-window.

I felt a thrill of excitement as I rocketed up, leaving my practical self on the ground with my friends. This was the only rule I permitted my law-abiding self to break repeatedly.

A huge grin spread across my face and I got the thrilling sensation in my stomach that accompanied my plunge. I barely noticed the bone-chilling cold.

I swooped down, whooping with delight and exhilaration-up here I wasn't Lily Evans, the girl who worried too much about grades, the girl who had lost her best friend when he drew the final straw with one heart-stopping word.

I wasn't the girl who was holding as tight as I could to whatever bit of sisterhood Petunia and I had left. I was part of the wind, and the wind didn't judge, only hummed and thrummed in your ears when your speed rivaled its own.

Reluctant for my ride to end, though I was practically numb from the cold, I swooped around the tower once more. The hills of Hogwarts were gleaming white with pristine snow so far under me. My frozen, numb fingers struggled to pry the window open, leaning over on Alice's broom to make the entrance to our room.

I flew inside on our shared living quarters, immediately closing the window behind me and trying to coax some sensation other than pins and needles into my poor fingers. I quickly stashed the broom under Alice's bed and threw off my winter wraps. I rushed down to the common room, my feet slapping on every step.

"Hey Remus," I smiled breathlessly at my favorite Marauder. "Other three counterparts planning any roof-blasting pranks tonight?"

"That's what we Prefects are here for, right?" he smiled easily. "No, nothing much. Just stay away from the treacle tarts at the snack table and you won't turn funny colors," he winked, leaving me unsure if he was serious. Music started to play, the loud bass pumping through the floor. I went to the fifth year boy who was serving as the DJ, in muggle terms, and asked him if he could play Elvis-he looked at me strangely and asked me what sort of disease "Elvis" was and why in the name of Merlin I'd want him to play _that._

Teenagers pulled each other onto the dancing space and I turned directly around and went straight back to Remus, who was calmly reading, seeming completely unaware of the party bursting around him.

"Good book?" I sat next to the bookworm, smiling as his brown eyes meet mine.

"Oh, yeah," he quickly closed it, covering the title with his arm.

"Werewolf lore?" I managed to catch two of the words before they were completely obscured. I thought Remus was turning pink, but it could have been the dim lighting.

"Christmas present," he smiled, transforming back into the easygoing Remus I know. "How was your Christmas?" My smile slipped of my face like a drip of water on an oil patch. "Well, you know how Petunia and I...well, you know," I struggle to keep my voice from wavering-I can't-won't cry. Not in front of all these people. That would be _most _un-Lily like.

"Oh, Lily," he sighed, putting an arm around my shoulders, squeezing gently as I rest my head on his shoulder, watching the couples twirl. "What happened?"

"She has a _terrible _boyfriend!" I gasped a bit hysterically. "I think he's pulling her away from me...he's a walrus," I sniffle a little. Remus let out a deep chuckle, silently waiting for me to continue. "And she just...it hasn't been the same, really. I've been deluding myself. It hasn't been the same since I got into Hogwarts."

"You should be dancing, Lily," he remarked brotherly. "It will keep your mind off...things. Here-watch this." He waves his hand up, signaling across the room. "Normally, I wouldn't do this, Lily-dear, but I'd rather see you annoyed to your wits end than this distraught."

"What-no!" I gasp, sitting bolt upright, mouth open slightly at his impish grin. "You wouldn't!"

"You rung?" James swaggered over.

"No, we most certainly did not!" I squealed, standing up so fast the blood left my head. I scrambled through the crowds, secretly and _very _deep down glad with Remus for distracting me. I located Dorcas, who looked to be enjoying herself-on closer inspection she and Alice was dancing near Marlene and Sirius, who were dancing too close for it to be casual. Actually, it was pretty gross. I'll leave it at that.

I didn't see Emmy, but she was probably around.

"Hey!" I announced myself loudly over the music, already swaying to the beat with my friends.

"What do you think of that?" Alice nodded her head toward Marlene and Sirius.

"Mmm," I frowned. Now I was starting to get a sneaking suspicion of where Emmy had gotten to.

"Yeah, mmm," Dorcas looked troubled as well. "She looks happy, though."

"As long as she and Emmy keep the claws safely away and of each other's necks, we three will be safe," Alice grinned as she spun, leaving Dorcas and I laughing.

"May I have this dance?" Tall, gangly Frank Longbottom dwarfed little Alice-but something in her eyes told me she wouldn't say no. And she didn't. She was blushing bright red as he led her away to dance, smiling.

"Guess it's just us and the girl who wouldn't know if we were kidnapped by trolls at this very second," Dorcas laughed, eyes twinkling. We twirled around, the beat humming through the floor and shaking the very walls, helping us forgetting our troubles.

Until later that night, of course, when everything had calmed down and we were back in our rooms.

"Has Emmy made an appearance yet?" I frowned, sticking my head out of the bathroom as I tried to talk around my toothbrush.

"Haven't seen her since the party," Marlene smiled goofily at me, a dreamy look in her eyes that clearly said "Sirius."

"When did you join the Sirius Black Fan Club?" I asked sceptically.

"Don't be a buzz-kill, Lil!" she giggled with her rhyme. Drunk, but not on beer. On the first few minutes of her new "love." I playfully tossed a pillow at her when I finished brushing the taste of pumpkin juice out of my mouth, and she grabbed it to her chest.

"What dreamy eyes you have, dear Sirius!" she laughed, pretending Sirius was her pillow.

"Maybe you'll be able to knock some sense into him," Dorcas smiled.

"I'm going to find Emmy," I left my love-struck friend and the others, fastening a cloak around my neck to guard against the cooler temperatures of the stone castle at night.

"Good luck!" Alice called after me. I started to bound down the stairs, but stopped myself after remembering that people were probably starting to get to bed. After a quick, unsuccessful sweep of the common room I silently slipped out, remembering the time Severus had threatened to sleep outside this very portrait hole. I shook the memory from my mind like water droplets flying off a shaking dog. I murmured a disillusionment charm over myself, so the nosey portraits wouldn't be able to identify me. I wasn't the best at Disallusionment charms, to say the least, but catching a glimpse of myself in a reflective portrait, all I looked like was a blur the same emerald color of my cloak holding a wand.

I strained my ears carefully, listening for any footsteps beside my own. I then remembered something-I was a prefect. If someone happened to catch me, I could say I was doing my rounds. I chastised myself for not realizing this earlier-quickly removing the charm and explaining to several disgruntled portraits I was patrolling, I flashed my silver badge at any painting that so much as looked at me twice.

One _Homenum Revelio_ charm after another, and no Emmy. I sighed, looking back on the whole hall filled with everything _but _my missing friend. Emmaline was dramatic, but not to the extreme of camping out of her room just because she had seen someone else dancing with her crush.

Or, maybe that's not why she disappeared, a small voice whispered in my head. Maybe it's something more sinister than that.

Of course not! I argued back vehemently. Hogwarts was the safest place in the whole world. The only things that were even remotely close to sinister were James's bed-head when he came down for breakfast and the way the Bloody Baron could stop Peeves in his tracks.

I noticed an echo to my steps and I cocked my head, wondering- That wasn't an echo, it was a whole nother pair of footsteps. I turned around, pushing back the shadows-

"Potter?! What are you doing?"

"Isn't it obvious? Coming to see if hell has frozen over! Evans out of bed after hours!" Potter grinned, jogging up to me, a piece of parchment poking out of his sweatshirt pocket. My bright wand reflected off his glasses, bringing out the gold and green in his eyes.

"I'm a prefect, Potter," I concealed a yawn, pointing to my pinned badge. "I'm making my rounds. Wait-how did you know I was here?"

"Liar," he pointed at me, smiling devilishly and stepping closer. "I know your rounds, tonight is not one of them!" he completely ignored my second question.

"That's-that's just creepy, Potter," I took a step back, looking up at him with a raised eyebrow. "You're borderline stalker."

"Only borderline?" James clutched his heart dramatically. "Hm, I'll have to up my game. Lily-flower, I do believe my love for red hair is so deeply ingrained that I will pass it on to our children."

"Sorry, Potter, I'd love to stay and talk about our future children with you-that was total sarcasm, by the way. Don't take it personally-but I've got a missing friend to find. I do have one more question, though," I tapped my wand against my chin. "How _did _you know I was here?"

He opened his mouth and closed it. "I'll tell you some day, love," he recovered. "And what's this about a missing friend? It wouldn't happen to be a Miss Emmaline Vance, would it?"

We began to walk, our shadows mingling on the wall to our left.

"Possibly," I said carefully, suspicion evident in my voice. "I may happen to know where said friend is-I saw her on the m-uh, I saw her."

"Mind sharing?" I looked at him hopefully.

"If you'll let me escort you, I shall lead you straight to her!" Potter stood up straighter.

"It wouldn't do much harm, I guess," I replied. "But this is in no way a date."

"Oh, Lily," James chuckled. _"Of course _it is!"

We bickered about the meaning of a proper date all the way down three corridors-for some reason, Potter didn't think the female counterpart had to willingly acknowledge it was a date for it to count.

"I think you'll find Miss Vance here," Potter gestured proudly to the slightly open door to the empty transfiguration classroom. Not hearing anything, I pushed open the door, slowly.

"Emmy?" I whispered, looking around. I still didn't see anything. "Wait-is this some kind of prank, Potter? How in the world could you know she was in here?" I doubled back on him. Merlin help me-if this was one of the Marauders' oh-so-hilarious pranks I was never going to trust Potter again. Not that I did now, anyway-come to think of it, I really _didn't _know why I'd followed him in here-

Potter pointed to a crumpled shape in the corner of the room in answer, striding over before I could collect my thoughts. I shot off like a cannon, two steps ahead of Potter, visions of Death Eaters dancing in the shadows-

"Emmaline! Wake up!" I dropped to my knees, shaking her shoulder. She had her knees curled up to her chest, head resting on her hand and her curly mop of brown hair falling over her face. She began to stir, jolting awake. Potter dropped to the ground next to me, not speaking.

"Emmy, what happened?" I gasped, watching in horror as she sat up, moaning.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to fall asleep in here!" she gasped, looking around and catching her bearings. "What-what time is it?"

"Around midnight," Potter answered. She nodded thoughtfully.

"Why did you come in here?" I asked, although I already suspected it was because of a certain Sirius Black, and his choice of dance partners.

I noted her dry eyes and sighed with relief-Sirius had not drastically changed my best friend into a girl who cried over boys. One who runs away from them? Certainly. But Emmy hadn't been crying. She looked at James uncomfortably.

"I won't say anything to anyone, I promise! Marauder's honor," he smiled easily at her. I didn't expect Emmy to tell him, but she did.

"Sirius and Marlene. I didn't want to see them dancing like that," she said casually.

"That bloke wouldn't know tact if it put on one of those muggle swimsuit-things and danced in front of his face," Potter grinned, lightening the mood. Even though I thought that was extremely hypocritical of him-

"Oh? And when was the last time you hexed Severus, Potter?"

"_That _gets first name basis and I don't? That hurts, Evans, truly," he wiped an imaginary tear away.

"When?" I asked again, patiently. Neither of us noticed Emmy surreptitiously lie down at another chance of undisturbed sleep, closing her eyes peacefully.

"I think, this morning," he stroked his chin.

"Why? Why do you torment him so much? What has he ever done to you?"

"It's sort of just the mere fact that he exists, you know?" He winked at me in a way he probably thought was attractive. "I think I've told you that before, love."

"You disgust me," I told him, turning back to Emmy. "Em-oh. Asleep again."

"We can levitate her back," he mused. "I can do that, if you'll hold the wandlight."

"Anything for you, Lily-flower," James grinned. I rolled my eyes. We manage not to bump her into anything, and the sleeping girl barely stirred at all until we reached the bottom of the stairs leading up to the girls' dormitory. Even Potter knew better than to climb up _those _stairs.

"Never thought I'd say this," I turned back to James on the first step, one hand on the banister and the other holding my wand aloft. "But thank you, Potter." A huge grin lit his face, and it _was _infectious, no one could deny that.

"Lily? One more thing?" I turned around to face him once more. "Hm?"

"You?" He pointed to me. "Me?" He pointed to himself. "Hogsmead?" He leaned up casually against the banister, pushing his hand through his black hair, purposefully making it stick up. That so irritated me, it was pure arrogance! Would James Potter ever grow up?

"Well, let's see," I picked my words carefully, slowly. "You with your friends and me with mine, completely separate, but unfortunately in the same premises. Good night, Potter."

"You'll come around some day, Lily!" He shouted up to me. "You can't resist my good looks and charm forever!"

"Just marry him, Lily," Emmy said sleepily as we rounded the first corner to the spiral staircase, cutting off our view to the common room. She stirred, beginning to wake up, and I dropped the levitation charm. "Never," I grumbled, playfully punching her arm. She grinned at me through a yawn. "Oh well, I tried," she grinned, and we entered our room.

_James's POV_

"No success, Marauders," James fell backward onto his bed.

"She'll come around, mate, if you don't make pouncing on her every time you see her out of her room on the map a pattern," Remus's voice came sympathetically from his bed.

"Love potion, Prongsie," Sirius called. "Agreed, Wormtail?"

His answer was a long, drawn-out snore from the fourth boy's bed.

**PLEASE READ!**

**A\\N-anything I find people may have questions on I'll talk about in A\\N's-I will try not to have unnecessary A\\N's. So if you see one, PLEASE READ! **

Please review and tell me how you liked it-I know the first few chapters are always pretty dull in my stories, but hang in there, guys :) -Cassia


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2-Not Like That**

**DISCLAIMER-I haven't magically become JK Rowling since the last chapter, so I'm pretty sure everytg you recognize is all Jo's lovely work. :)**

_ Girl, put your records on, tell me your favorite song...just go ahead, let your hair down! -Corinne Bailey Ray "Put Your Records On"_

"Petunia, stop! You don't understand! Vernon really _is _walrus, he's just pretending to be human so he can marry you!" I watched Petunia as she put her blonde hair up for her wedding day. She eyed me in the mirror-my mother, who was also with us, seemed to be deaf. I looked disheveled and had a crazy gleam in my eye.

"Vernon is a perfect man, Lily. I wouldn't expect you to understand," she put her nose in the air haughtily. Part of me knew this was a dream. Petunia had only been dating Vernon the Terrible for six months. Which was six months too long, in my opinion.

"Tuney, listen," I pleaded.

"Liiiiily! Lily!" My dream shuddered like a bubble before it popped-someone was disturbing the walls that protected my sleeping mind. The next time I opened my eyes, I was looking at a red faced Marlene.

"It's Saturday!" I protested, rolling over. "Don-wake-meup." I slurred my words together, trying to grasp on to the last, fading tendrils of sleep. I opened one eye, looking at the clock- "It's only seven!" I screeched. I pushed red strands out of my face, sitting up. I had always been a heavy sleeper-I guessed that, judging by the fact that Emmy and Marlene each had their wands out and were glaring at each other fiercely, I'd slept through a spat.

Rolling out of bed and stretching like a cat, I realized I'd slept in my clothes. And that Marlene and Emmy were staring me expectantly, and Alice and Dorcas were also, but sympathetically.

"Lily, what could I have done? Emmy's not the only girl in Hogwarts who likes Sirius Black!" Marlene fumed, pointing her wand at aforementioned girl.

"Yeah? Well none of those other girls are your best friend!" Emmy seethed.

"Weeeeell, honestly, I think Black is a player and BOTH of you can do better...but my other real, true, honest opinion is that I stink and need a shower." I skedaddled into the bathroom, pulling out the ponytail I'd slept in last night, peeling off my clothes and stepping into the steamy bliss of the hot water. I hated drama, especially between my own friends, and I would stay in this shower 'til the water turned cold, if I could, to avoid it. Fortunately, I didn't have to go quite to that extreme.

By the time we were in the carriages on our way to Hogsmeade, Emmy and Marlene's squabble had toned down into frosty indifference. In other words, it was cold-shouldering time. Marlene bid all of us good-bye (except Emmy) and left with Sirius once we arrived, Alice and Emmy branched off toward Zonko's, and Dorcas and I lingered inside the Three Broomsticks.

"How's your family, Lily?" Dorcas asked me quietly, sipping her butterbeer.

"They're...they're good, minus Petunia, who is suffering from serious delusional episodes in which she thinks Vernon Dursley is handsome," Dorcas threw her head back and laughed, having seen some of the pictures of my sister's boyfriend. Dorcas, being almost pureblood, immediately assumed something was incredibly suspicious when the people inhabiting the pictures didn't move.

"Seriously, though," she sobered up, looking over her shoulder before leaning across the table to me. "Haven't you been reading the newspaper lately? You-Know-Who has giants working for him now...muggle killings and such." The smile dropped off my face.

"I've been hearing about that," I looked down at my fingers wrapping about the butterbeer. "I'm worried, but...I've told them to be careful. My last letter from them was yesterday," I nodded, satisfied. "And they were fine." Dorcas nodded slowly.

"And over Christmas break? Nothing happened?"

"Nothing except getting tissues from Petunia," I laughed. "Besides, I don't think they'd go after a town as small as Cokeworth," I smiled confidently.

"I'm here, you know," she promised. "If you or your family even need a place to stay...I offer my closet-or Marlene's, hers is huge!" She grinned. "Her closet is the size of my room" I teased, but I wasn't exaggerating by much. "So, about-"

A loud bang and a shout came from outside, and unclear chanting permeated the mellow atmosphere of the Three Broomsticks. Dorcas and I looked to each other, wide-eyed, standing up, butterbeers forgotten.

We rushed the door along with a few other students, bursting out to see...

Snow falling heavily on a scene that made me gasp in horror. Sirius, Remus, and Peter were standing around a figure that I knew was James-Marlene was holding a Protego shield that Sirius was begging her to remove.

"You evil prat!" Sirius roared. "You slimy, greasy bastard!" A spew of language more colorful than an angry Vernon's spewed from his mouth at the second party.

"Lily," Dorcas whispered, pointing. Snape, Mulciber, Avery-but it was Snape. Only Snape. I could tell because he was pocketing his wand and looking at me, horrified. Blood roaring in my ears I strode forward, Snape's stupid Death Eater friends looking at me with disgust.

Probably thinking I wasn't a threat because I didn't have my wand.

"Lily, he attacked James from behind!" Remus roared. He thought I was going to side with Snape.

"Did you start it, Severus?" I growled in his face. Mulciber and Avery had their wands pointed at me menacingly, but I didn't care. Snape waved them away and they lowered them a bit, reluctantly. I was furious, even more so when Snape nodded, lip curled, new coldness in his eyes.

_My _Sev had been gone for a long time now, I realized with a start.

"He's never done it to you, Snape, he's never attacked you from behind like that!" I was shouting now, eyes locked intently on Snape. I was furious.

"What's this, Lily, are you finally falling in _love-"_ he spat the word like a curse. "-with Potter? Because, yes he has, and you know it, Lily!" he fumed. "Four on one, you've seen it!"

"Not like that, Snape, whatever you hit him with was a _dark curse,_" I growled, blinking at the slow flakes coating my lashes. "Not like that."

And I slapped him. And then I walked to James. Because with Snape nowadays, especially with his friends-scared me. And I was concerned for Potter's safety.

"Nice one, Evans," Sirius said weakly.

I ran over, ignoring the insults Mulciber and Avery were screaming. I didn't care about two goons like them.

"We need to get him to Pomfrey," Remus looked to Sirius grimly. All four of us were crouching protectively over James, who looked unconscious. "Levitate him," Remus commanded, and both Sirius and I took to doing so while Remus and Peter ran ahead, making sure the horseless carriages were still parked and waiting for students. By now we'd gathered a small crowd, and the owners of the Three Broomsticks were reprimanding the three Slytherins. The snow suddenly seemed colder, more slippery, but I didn't complain. Both Sirius and I were shaking with cold.

"Get in, I'll drive," Remus hopped up grimly, taking the reins. I tried to jump up with one hand, the other wand-occupied. My blue fingers slipped on the handle and I lost my footing, but a strong hand on my back steadied me, pushing me back up-after I was safely seated, I thanked Sirius with a grateful smile. As soon as we got myself, Sirius, and Peter all wedged onto one seat and James laying across our laps, we set off for the castle. Blessedly, with the driving snow and wind at our backs.

"What was he hit with?" I asked no one in particular, resting my head against the side wall of the carriage.

"Some kind of powerful stunner," Sirius said bitterly from next to me.

"That was a right good slap Lily, he deserved that, he did!" I smiled briefly at Peter.

"I know." I closed my eyes.

"So what caused this?" Sirius asked, looking down worriedly at his best friend.

"What?" I opened my eyes, locking them with Sirius's.

"This. You kind of slapped someone for attacking him. You went all mad McGonagall on him. I almost feel bad for Snivelly. Ah, I can't even joke about that one. No, no I don't." Remus chuckled softly from the front at Sirius's comment.

"I don't hate him, you know," I told Black rather defensively. "Potter, I mean. I was just worried that Snape hurt him. And no, Black, before you go flying off the handle, that does _not _mean I love him," I looked at him sternly.

"I dunno. Wormtail, what do you think? Reckon she'd have smacked old Snivelly if he hexed _me _from behind?"

"Oh, no," Peter shook his head furiously, eager to please Sirius.

"Whatever, Marauders," I rolled my eyes, trying not to smile.

"Whatever, Evans," Sirius mimicked.

"That doesn't mean I won't tell him you announced your profound love and attraction to him after he fell unconscious, that you nursed him back to health and never left his bedside," he finished dramatically, looking to me for a reaction. I gave him a half-hearted smile, trying to block out what Mulciber and Avery yelled at me before an unknown savior cast a silencing charm over them both.

Don't let them get to you, I chided myself. Just because they say it, it doesn't change you at all. It doesn't change me.

James was beginning to stir by the time we had jumped out of our illegally taken carriage, rushing him to the hospital wing.

"My, my, you boys again," Madame Pomfrey talked as she worked; we all leaned over Potter as she muttered a few spells over him. "Excuse me, Potter needs some space!" She protested. If the Marauders had their faces any closer over him, it would have looked like they were eating him. They moved back a bit, albeit reluctantly.

"He'll just sleep it off, and be fine in a couple hours," Pomfrey dropped her wand back into the folds of her robes. "Nasty spell it was, though. Who'd you say did it?"

"Severus Snape!" Every one of us talked over one another, eagerly tattling.

"I'll have Professor Slughorn have a word with him," she nodded grimly. "And nice to see you too, Miss Evans, though not under these circumstances," she nodded over her shoulder at me before retreating into her office.

"I'm going to the Owlery," I stood abruptly. Three Marauders looked up at me, simultaneously, and nodded, also simultaneously. Those boys were _way _too close. I walked out, but once I got to the hallway I began to run. Suddenly, I was anxious for my family's safety. In truth, these killing sprees on muggles by Voldemort and his followers were scaring me a lot more than I was letting on.

_January 4__th_

_Dear Mum and Dad,_ _Remember the wizard I was telling you about? The one who went dark? Well, lately, he and his followers, the Death Eaters, and now the giants, apparently, have been going on a lot of killing sprees, targeting-_

No, that wouldn't do. My tawny owl Maverick hopped around impatiently, clicking his beak hyper-actively.

"I can't think when you do that, you know." Maverick cocked his head, looking at me intently with large eyes.

_Dear Mum and Dad,_

_ I know I just wrote to you, but I just wanted to remind you of some problem in the wizarding world...probably nothing to worry about, but all the same, you and Petunia (and even Vernon, I suppose...) should be careful. You remember the dark wizard I was telling you about? Voldemort? Well, he and his followers, the Death Eaters, think that muggles and muggle-borns aren't good enough to live with other wizards and witches. I'm enclosing a few newspaper clippings of the reports of his recent activities. Please be careful, I love you, and I'll see you in five months' time._

_Lily_

I folded it up neatly and tied it tightly to Maverick's leg, watching him fly off until he was no longer visible. From the twisting road uphill from Hogsmeade the carriages were starting to pull in, black tops bobbing slightly as they passed over bumps. I stood watching them for a moment, not really thinking of anything in particular except a certain thought that followed me around often, like an annoying, insistent fly. Which was one of the downfalls of being redheaded, by the way-horseflies couldn't keep away from my hair.

But my thought was-why me? Why had a bloke like James Potter fancied me since...well, since first year, was it? He could have any other girl in school. He really could. I wasn't stunningly beautiful. Sure, I was the awkward kind of pretty, in the right lighting-like the tilt-your-head-close-your-eyes-a-bit-and-squint-really-hard-there-see. I wasn't the kind of girl who you'd do a double take to see again on the streets. I was just me. Honestly.

But 'me' currently had to go meet the carriages and find Harlem Mckenzie, the Head Boy, and find who I was prefect-patrolling with next week.

Later that night, at dinner in the great hall, Marlene and Emmy were still squabbling-it was enough to drive anyone mad.

"Marlene, you _knew-"_

"Would you pass the potatoes, please?" I spoke over the buzz of the great hall and more importantly, my friends' petty argument. Dorcas, Alice and I had settled in on a nice routine of promptly ignoring their spat. Speaking right over it, if it was necessary.

"-that I fancied him!" Emmy continued on, picking up right where she had left off. Alice gave me an bemused look as I scooped myself another serving of potatoes. I looked up at the ceiling-the sight of the floating candles always intrigued me, always mystified me how ignorantly the mortals lived, completely oblivious to the magical yin to their yang. I tried to find a pattern in the midnight-blue mixed in with gauzy clouds a shade lighter in the night, stars sprinkled in the top it all off. The half-moon threw light on all of it.

"But why wouldn't you want me to be happy? I liked him too, you know!" Marlene snapped.

"I have an idea. I've got a galleon, let's flip," I smiled, catching both of them off-guard. At that very moment, the boy in question, Potter, Black, and Pettigrew were not very subtly sneaking in the Great Hall, trying to get to their seats without being noticed-and not doing a very good job.

"-told you, Evans _slapped _him!" Black was telling Potter excitedly. Several Gryffindors turned to look at me in shock-I slapped my forehead into my hand, heat rushing to my cheeks.

"No way, Padfoot," Potter shook his head as they sat down several feet away from us.

"Well, _I'm _going to sit with Sirius, because obviously, not all of you are comfortable with me being here," Marlene cast a wounded look at Emmy, who was looking rather perturbed, down at her food.

A week later, and Sirius and Marlene were outlasting all our bets for how long they would continue to stay a couple. Marcus Blewstry, another Gryffindor prefect, who I was coincidentally Friday-night patrolling with, had a rather high-stakes bet going with me-five galleons. He was one of the more laid-back prefects, making him much more pleasant to patrol with.

"What do you want to do when you graduate, Lily?" The question surprised me.

"Well, er-I'm not quite sure, actually. Being an auror has always interested me, actually-I think that would be exciting. How about yourself?"

"Something to do with dragons, definitely," he grinned, and I smiled back.

_Shuffle-bump. _The sound of someone's foot scuffing the floor was followed by a sound similar to someone knocking into a wall-Marcus and I stopped, looking around for the source of the noise.

"Broom closet," he nudged me, pointing to the door. I nodded, although the noise didn't seem to be coming from that direction.

**The Marauder's General POV**

"Something to do with dragons, definitely," a faint, though familiar sounding voice comes from around the corner-

"We've got to get Moony out! Wormtail, I thought you were checking the map!" James hissed while Sirius whacked the perpetrator upside the head.

"Let's just-go," Moony hissed through clenched teeth. He shuffled along under the invisibility cloak, clenching his hands, his teeth, locking all his muscles-anything to keep him rooted to the world of humans.

"Hold on, Moony, almost there-ouch!" James's foot slid across the floor as Sirius stepped on his heel, and James abruptly ran into Peter.

"Broom closet."

Marcus and Lily come into view-the Marauders look at each other, hearts racing and coming to a silent conclusion-_now._

Stealthily as church rats, they scurried across down the middle of the hallway-James forced himself to keep his eyes forward, not to look at Lily, who was standing there, so close and yet so oblivious to his presence-

"Anything in there-whoa!" she jumped back, startled, snatching her hand, which James had bumped accidentally.

Sirius whipped his head around toward James, startled. James gave him a panicked look, throwing a glance back at Moony who looked paler than the moon and was sweating bullets. Peter just stood, eyes darting back and forth like a cornered rat's. And they all stood there, hunched over in an incredibly uncomfortable position so their ankles wouldn't be visible. It was very hard to conceal four almost-full grown students under the same invisibility cloak, you know.

Lily stood stock still, sharp green eyes moving back and forth across the air in front of her face, waiting for something to reveal itself to her. James held his breath, inches away, not daring to move, or make a sound. Up this close he could see the freckles dotting Lily's nose, her red eyebrows and lashes. She slowly put her hand forward-

"Lily, there's no one in here. What are you doing?" Marcus turned back towards her. For a moment, suspicion dawned in her eyes, but it vanished as quickly as it had come.

"I just-nothing," she finished, lowering her hand. "Let's check the next hall."

None of the Marauders dared to twitch a muscle, dared to breath until their footsteps and voices could be heard no longer.

"Good going, mate!" Sirius whispered feverishly to James as they shuffled furiously in the opposite direction while Remus stifled a moan, trying not to look through the windows, to see the full moon that was climbing higher and higher... "Did you have to try and hold her hand?" Sirius continued.

"I didn't try and hold her hand," James hissed back. "Although that does sound like an idea I would have cooked up," Sirius shrugged, nodding his assent as he let his hand travel out of the confinements of the invisibility cloak, searching for the indent in the statue of Gregory the Smarmy's shield. A small series of clicks ensued and moments later and the statue slid to the side, revealing a well-concealed handle to a trapdoor. Remus began to tremble visibly-

"Hurry, we haven't got much time, we need to leave earlier next month," James muttered darkly as they threw off the invisibility cloak, discarding it and the map where they could find it later. As they burst out onto the grounds of Hogwarts, they quickly transformed into their Anamagi- James grew until he was a handsome stag, Sirius grew four legs to become a coal-black dog, Peter's body condensed until he was a tiny rat-he scampered up onto Sirius's back to hop a ride.

And Remus continued to moan, the sheen of sweat on his skin obvious in the growing moonlight. It was almost time for his transformation. Any onlookers would have seen a very strange sight had they looked out any of the windows of Hogwarts at that time-fortunately, no one did.

Animal hearts pounding and limbs shaking as they came upon the Shrieking Shack after the now familiar obstacle of the Whomping Willow-

Barely a second after storming into the Shrieking Shack, the quartet lost their last human member to the clutches of his Lycanthropy. Remus's form changed, bones grinding and twisting as he shouted out what was halfway in-between howling and moaning-soon, panting on the floor, was no longer Remus-but the werewolf. His friends waited in the shadows, unseen, but not for long.

Werewolf-Remus lifted his head, letting a long, blood-curling howl toward the moon, sending a tiny spark of a shiver down the backs of all who heard the mournful cry.

**Lily's Point of View**

I still hadn't entirely ruled out Potter that night in the hallway half a week ago. I thought I had heard his voice- and something _did _touch my hand, no matter how many times Marcus assured me it was probably just a ghost. Although we'd never found anything that caused the noise.

"Miss Evans?" Professor Slughorn looked at me jovially.

"Oh, yes. Sorry, Professor, would you repeat the question?" I mentally shook myself for becoming unfocused during class.

"What is the main sensory ingredient, or ingredients, in Amortentia, and what does this certain potent mix cause?" Slughorn beamed at me, obviously not a doubt in his mind that I would get this wrong. As a matter of fact, I had done some reading on this very love potion, mainly so I would recognize it if Potter ever tried to slip me one. So far, fortunately, that knowledge hadn't needed to be used.

"The elements that makes up the illusion of your favorite scents are a combination of powdered moonstone and essence of rose thorn," I rattled off. Marlene high-fives me under the table.

"Brilliant! Ten points for Gryffindor!" Slughorn practically jumped into the air. Several Slytherins shifted in their seats to throw me dirty looks. Remus, who was looking rather pale-but better than he had on Monday-smiled weakly at me.

"...produces a strong infatuation-in other words, an obsession, but even Amortentia cannot replicate actual love. No potion has ever been made that can replicate such a powerful emotion, although Amortentia is the closest. And for today's lesson, we will be brewing the _antidote..._so if you will open your books to page three-hundred and ninety-four, the ingredients are all in the back cabinets and tables-you may began!" He clapped his hands and chairs from tables were pushed back, scraping against the brick floor, and students began to shout out to each other, choosing partners and communicating who would get what.

"Ah, Miss Evans, Miss McKinnon," halfway into the hour, Slughorn had begun to make his rounds, triple-checking that those he invited to his infamous Slug-Club party would not only be there, but would dress for the occasion. He grinned broadly at us, hands out. I gave the potion a last stir and Marlene set down the eye of newt she had been about to throw in.

"Professor," we both acknowledged him.

"I trust both of you will be attending my party this Saturday evening, correct?" My eyes flitted to James and Sirius over my shoulder-both of them were whispering madly to each other, pointing around wildly, and Sirius grinning wider than I thought was possible. I narrowed my eyes slightly, wondering what they were up to-a few cauldrons down, Remus and Peter didn't seem to notice.

"Yes sir, we both will," Marlene beamed charmingly, speaking for both of us.

"Good, good! If I may..." he leaned forward, stirring our cauldron a bit, examining the lime-green color.

"Good progress, ladies," he moved on to the next cauldron-

"Ah, Blewtsry, Longbottom-I think the potion should be emitting more of a light mist coming off, not this tarry substance...ah...keep trying, boys..."

**Several Days Later, Slughorn's Party**

"This is boring," Marlene hissed to me in the brief second in which we passed each other on the dance floor, both of us being twirled around with different partners.

"Are you having a good time, Lily?" Marcus, who I was dancing with, questioned. "You seem rather quiet."

"Oh, yes, it's very fun," I told him half-heartedly, the other half of my attention bent on trying to calculate when Marlene would pass again so I could whisper my reply. Marcus spun me, which brought a grin to my face-the musics tempo increased, and my green dress swished around my knees. The dance called for a swap in partners, and the males bustled about, not leaving the girls alone for very long. Before I could blink, a familiar face was in front of me, taking one of my hands before I could protest, putting the other on my hip.

"Potter," I remarked in a strangled voice as we twirled to the music.

"Lily," he winked a hazel eye, which, for some reason, caused me to blush. "You look beautiful as always."

"And you don't look too terrible yourself," I said grudgingly.

"Am I a better dancer than Marcus?" He pulled me into a complicated spin-step that I could only accomplish because he was leading.

I narrowed my eyes and his grin widened.

"Do you enjoy teasing me?" I already knew the answer.

"Very much so, Flower," and in a whisk he was gone, and I was staring at Sirius Black.

"Wait-what?" I blinked, trying to process how James disappeared so fast. I craned my neck to see who was dancing with him now. "How did both you and Potter get here?" I narrow my eyes in suspicion, taking in Sirius's dress robes.

"Prongs and I happen to come from old, wealthy wizarding lines. Also because of our dashing good looks, cleverness-," he said neutrally.

"Big-headedness, egotistical pratishness," I interrupted, looking at him pointedly.

"You and James dance well together," Sirius said devilishly and I rolled my eyes at him, not putting any stock into his words. Of course he would say that, Potter was his best mate. The song soon ended, and I excused myself from Sirius and slipped away to the drink table.

"Lily!" Marlene hissed from behind me. "Let's ditch! Slughorn won't notice." I wanted to agree, but just then Potter appeared at the refreshment table.

"Need a drink, Evans?" He looked a bit nervous, most unlike him. "Try the pumpkin juice, it's delicious."

"Alright," I nodded, glancing at Marlene with a hint of suspicion in my eyes.

"Well, bye," Potter left abruptly.

"That was odd," I said into my drink. Oddly enough, it doesn't smell like pumpkin juice. Which was exactly as I suspected. It smelt like...a summer breeze scented with orange trees, fresh baked bread, my mother's perfume...

"Amortentia," I hissed, fuming. "Potter put Amortentia in this." I set the drink down amd vanished the substance so no unsuspecting party-goer would suddenly find themselves with the horrible misfortune of being irrevocably attracted to Potter. I caught a glimpse of the very boy in question's black robes as he vanished out of the door. This was low, even for him.

"Let's go get him back!" Marlene cried, tugging at my arm. "What are we waiting for?" We slipped out as subtly as we could, stopped only for a moment by McGonagall, who we stammered excuses to-something about a bathroom. Whisking out in the hallway, following Marlene, her light blue dress floating around her legs, a low hoot stops me.

"Did you hear that?" We stopped in the middle of a half-lit hallway, halfway down the corridor from the party, light and music spilling out the door. Glimpses of dancing couples whizzed through the open doorway.

"Hear what?" Marlene stepped beside me, looking around.

"Maverick!" I cried, holding my arm out for my owl, who must have been flying toward the party to get me-which he would have done only if the contents of whatever he was delivering was incredibly important...

He landed heavily, fluttering his wings as I untied to scroll from his legs with shaking fingers. As soon as I had the note he flew off toward the Owlery-whoever had sent it hadn't been looking for an immediate response.

Marlene read over my shoulder, and my eyes quickly swept over the handwriting, recognizing it as Petunia's.

"It's from my sister," I turned around to Marlene, trying to put off reading it for as long as possible. Petunia had sent me an owl herself...well, I wasn't exactly sure of the total, but I knew the count was one that I could tick off on the fingers of one hand. "She hasn't sent me an owl herself for the longest time..."

"Read it then, Lily! It can't be too bad," Marlene turned back to the letter.

_"Dear Lily," _I read aloud.

_"Vernon-has-_proposed?!" I spluttered.

"Keep reading!" Marlene insisted. Even at this terrible news, I felt a flutter of relief against my heart that this letter hadn't brought news of death.

_"And I have said yes. The wedding will take place next summer, at our home. Preparations will be made in the months before. I have expressed my wishes clearly to mother that I do not want you gallivanting around using magic whenever you please. And I will not tolerate any of your freak friends coming over and ruining my wedding. Mother has absolutely refused to send you away for that summer, but Lily, I am begging you-I despise magic. I want none of it in my life. I don't want it to spoil my relationship with Vernon. I don't want you running around underfoot. If you could find it in your heart to do me a final favor, please stay with one of your friends until the wedding takes place. I do not wish to hurt your feelings, Lily, but this is the most special time of my life, and I want magic to have no part with it."_

_"_Yours truly, Petunia," Marlene finished off by reading the closing. She gently took the letter from my hand, crumpling it up. She set fire to it with a quick spell, and the brightness of it seared into my eyelids. Bits of ash drop onto the floor-that was all that was left of my sister's letter.

"She doesn't want me to be a part of her life," I whispered. All of my anger toward Potter had burned away with the letter, forgotten- an empty hollowness filled my chest instead, right where Petunia had sucked all the life out with half a page of a letter. "I wish I weren't a muggleborn...I don't belong anywhere!" I said mournfully, knowing myself to be in a very self-pitying moment. "When I'm in the muggle world I'm a freak, and here I'm a...well, you know what they call us!" I waved my hands wildly.

"That's not true," Marlene said softly, shaking her head. "You're a muggle born so you belong in both. And Petunia...well, she can go and...she's bogus, that's what she is," Marlene said firmly, taking me shoulders and making sure I looked her in the eye. "Your sister is officially insane, you have to realize that now. And Lily, you must come stay with us for the summer-I can't even think about you being miserable there all summer with your snobby sister and her horrible fiancee." For once, I didn't chastise her for talking down Petunia. I silently agreed.

"I'll write my mum," I nodded miserably. "I would like that." I give her a smile, and she grinned back.

"Me too, Lily."

** Author's note-Whew, that was a long one! They won't normally be this long, don't worry. If you find Petunia's letter harsh, remember that Jo stated that Petunia didn't even want Lily in the wedding, and they did not even correspond for at least a year after Lily finished Hogwarts. Also, it's true that James and Sirius tried to smuggle Lily a love potion-as Harry was going through records of punishments in one of the books, he found a report that said this. :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Think Twilight sucks?**

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**DISCLAIMER-Everything is J.K Rowling's!**

_ A drop in the ocean, a change in the weather, I was prayin' that you and me might end up together, it's like wishin' for rain as I stand in the desert, and I'm holdin' you closer than most, 'cause you are my heaven. -Ron Pope "Drop in the Ocean"_

"Lily!" I heard Marlene's cry from across the hall-she barged in the doors, a letter clutched in her hand, and she bulleted toward me, sliding down on the bench, her cheeks pink from running. Not many people were up this early in the Great Hall for breakfast, but those that were, stared.

"What are you going on about?" I grinned teasingly, her good mood infectious. I spooned another heap of eggs into my mouth, and my earlier pondering over Petunia's letter disappeared from my mind.

"Oh, nothing much," she grinned, obviously fibbing. "Just-this!" She thrusted the letter into my hands that she had run into the Great Hall with.

_ Dear Marlene, _my eyes skimmed over the parchment. The letter was from her parents.

_ Darling, of course Lily may come this summer to the vacation home in Greece-_

I was even surprised myself to learn that Marlene's family had a home in Greece-I knew they were rich, but not _that _rich-

_(If Lily's parents are alright with this, of course.) We have also invited the Potters to come along, and Sirius, as he is now living with them. I do believe another boy is coming, dear me, I don't seem to recall his name-Remmy? So you may bring a few more friends also, if you'd like, as you know, there's plenty of room. Dorcas, Emmy, Alice, and Lily, of course-was I right in picking who you chose? _

_ Lots of love,_

_ Mum and Dad_

I looked up from the letter with wide eyes, excitement building in my stomach. "I _love _your parents!" I concluded. Marlene grinned widely.

"Me too!" She squeaked. "At the moment," she laughed.

"I am this close to screaming with excitement!" I hissed out of my clenched teeth. "Wait-what about Emmy?" I remembered.

"What about her?" Marlene didn't meet my eyes, just continued to push hash browns around on her plate.

"Come on, Marlene. You guys are best friends. You're better friends than to be split up over some dumb guy." Marlene didn't say a word, but I could tell by the way she kept her eyes down that she knew I was right.

I didn't get my final assurance, though, until dinner the next day.

"Emmy," Marlene broke her silence for the first time in almost three weeks. Emmy stared at her, suspicion glinting in her large eyes. "Will you come with me?"

"Sure." Emmy stood up slowly, following Marlene to where the Marauders sat.

"I'm so tempted to spy on them," Dorcas looked over wistfully.

"I'd pay big money to hear what they're saying," Alice agreed, sighing. "If only we had Extendable Ears..."

Thankfully, they weren't too far away, so we did hear a _bit _of what was going on.

Sirius's mouth was flapping, making it apparent that he was stuttering-Marlene and Emmy stood side by side-

"-friends are more important than...mates before dates...sorry, Sirius." Without realizing it, all three of us had leaned toward the bit of conversation that we were able to hear. They had come to the table enemies, and had come back to the table as best mates again.

"And now," Marlene announced dramatically, re-claiming her seat. She doesn't look upset in the slightest about Sirius, but on the contrary, her eyes were glinting and a smile graced her lips. She wasn't the only one looking particularly happy-those that had been counting days until Sirius was single again-mainly his female fan club-were shooting him looks, winking and batting their eyes. But he was too stunned to catch any of it-it was apparent Sirius Black was not used to rejection. "Lily and I have some news." I snapped my head up, catching her eye with a smile.

"If no one is going to be particularly busy this summer..." she began.

"Too busy for vacationing with your friends in Greece..." I grinned wickedly.

"Than by all means, we invite you to Greece!" Marlene was one decibel away from a shriek.

We talked over each other excitedly until the meal was almost done-

"Is it in a muggle village?" Dorcas asked. "Or will we be with other witches and wizards?"

"It's in a muggle area," Marlene consented.

"I bet that makes it all the more fun to pull pranks," Alice grinned wickedly.

"Ugh, don't tell the Marauders that," I groaned.

"What do you mean?" Emmy asked, confused.

"The Potters have been invited," I told her. "And Sirius is living with the Potters. And Remus is also coming. I don't think Peter is, though," I finished with a look to the boys in question.

"No, he's got plans already," Marlene elaborated. On that note, the owls came swooping in, the sounds hundreds of beating wings and the prospect of letters stifled even the most important conversation.

My own owl dropped a letter in my lap which I held anxiously. This held the _yes_ or _no_ for Greece.

"Go on, staring at it won't do much, see if you can go!" Dorcas leaned over eagerly.

"Easy for you to say, you haven't asked yet," I moaned. "What if they say no? What if I have to endure a whole summer with...the _lovebirds_?" I shuddered, a nasty mental picture of Petunia and Vernon kissing around his mustache popping into my head.

"Then we'll kidnap you," Alice laughed decidedly.

"I give you my permission," I nodded solemnly, opening the letter slowly after giving Maverick a bit of my buttered roll.

_ Dear Lily,_

_ I am so, so sorry for what Petunia said-your father and I hadn't realized she'd actually sent it. She's putting up quite a fit about this-I think she's forgotten that she is not our only daughter. Lily, you will always, always be welcome at your home, don't doubt that. But if you really wish to disappear to Greece for the _whole _summer...your father and I have talked this over, and we've finally decided __that...you're days away from being of age...thus, you are ready to make your own decisions-if only you'll floo home often to visit. We love you, dear._

Now the letter switched to my father's handwriting.

_ Hey there, Flower! You sure you're going to make it all summer with that Potter boy? Isn't he the one you're always complaining about? I can't believe you're going to Greece, pumpkin...it feels like just yesterday we were all in Diagon Alley, acting like every magical thing would start to do back-flips at any moment. Like your mother says-you must write AND floo often, or we will...what's it called...Apernate over there regardless of wether it's possible or not. Love you,_

_ Mum and Dad_

"You guys," I shook my head, trying with every ounce of willpower to look like I'd been rejected. I slumped my shoulders, channeling depressing thoughts. But I couldn't hold that facade for more than a moment. "It's a yes!" My grin spread from ear to ear, mirrored by Marlene.

The weeks seemed to fly by, blending into months-soon, very soon, it was June. And Marlene, Alice and I were ready to leave from Hogwarts to Greece. Emmy and Dorcas had not been allowed to go, unfortunately-Emmy's parents had another vacation planned already, and Dorcas's simply did not want her gone that long. But school wasn't done with us yet, not even close.

"Ahhhh," I smiled in bliss, letting the sun work into my skin, warming me better than a blanket.

"I agree," Marlene said dreamily, wading knee-deep into the luke-warm, crystal waters of the Black Lake.

"Don't get too far out, or the squid will snatch you away," I smiled, opening my eyes and propping myself up on my forearms, bits of newly-greened grass stuck in my snarly waves of red hair.

"Why don't you join me then?" Marlene dips a hand into the water and flings it out at me, giggling as diamond droplets splay out to me. I roll up onto my feet, kicking off my sandals and pulling my mid-back length hair into a messy bun.

"I do think I shall," I dip my first foot in, shivering at the cold.

"It's warm once you're used to it!" Marlene insisted. "Here, I'll help you!" before I can ask what she means she's scooped up a handful, flinging it down at my bare legs, managing to also get my shorts. I let out a cry of indignation, retaliating with taking a few steps into the deeper water and kicking a foot out at her, spraying her up to her shoulders.

"Revenge is sweet," I announced, lifting my arms in the "V" for victory stance.

"Not for long," Marlene calls, venturing deeper into the water, up to her mid-thighs. "Why didn't we bring anything we could properly swim in to Hogwarts?" she said mournfully.

"Not many people usually swim in this lake, courtesy of the giant squid that tends to eat black-haired sixth year girls," I teased.

"I think it's redheads he prefers, Lily," she grinned, slapping her hands down on the water, directing the spray at me. I jumped up in a futile attempt to avoid it, my hand brushing the thin willow branches who's roots were held in the uneven, grassy bank containing the waters of the Great Lake. That triggered a full on water-war-

Laughing with glee, no longer caring if we get soaked, my legs struggled to push themselves through the cool, caressing pressure of the water, as deep as I dared to go into the lake, daring Marlene to follow me. She did, of course. We were Gryffindors. We'd make it across the lake completely before either of us gave in wanting to turn back. Besides, contrary to popular belief, the Great Squid _didn't _actually eat children. He had actually tossed me back up after Potter pushed me down in first year.

I pushed my hands in the water, sending a thick wave of light green water at her to which she put her hands up, laughing maniacally as water droplets coated her hair, glinting off the sunlight. She pushed water back but I ducked under, submerging, all sound disappearing before she had the satisfaction of drenching me herself.

All sound disappeared and I opened my eyes underwater, the dark floor outlined blurrily against my vision. I pushed myself back up, t-shirt and shorts plastered to my body. Marlene dunked herself as well, and, pale legs glinting underwater, she launched herself at my waist, pushing me back into the waters, lurching, as I unsuccessfully tried to hold my ground. She released her grip on me, and we both tread water, realizing at the same time how far we'd come from shore.

"Ahhhh!" Marlene let out a shrill scream, piercing the peaceful air. "Something-it touched my leg!" Her eyes were wide and she was half-laughing, half-scared.

"That was my toe, Mar, not the squid!" I laughed hysterically, wrapping my arms around my stomach as I kick my feet to stay afloat.

"Oh-oh!" She turned red, splashing me feebly with one hand.

"Oi!" We turned towards shore, eyes glancing over the sight of two familiar boys. "Ever heard of the squid that lives in this lake?"

"We've made friends with it!" I yelled back to Potter, pushing wet hair out of my face and smoothing it down in the back of my head. Marlene and I edged closer to the shore, closer to Sirius and James, until our toes squashed with sand again.

"Thought you'd be skinny dipping," Black smirked.

"Sorry to disappoint, Black. If you want to peep at girls, there's a whole castle of them back _there_," Marlene pointed toward Hogwarts. I snorted in agreement, but to my surprise James doesn't add his consent, but jokingly punches Sirius in the shoulder. "Sirius!" he mock gasped, feigning shock. "And here you had me thinking you were a gentleman!" We all laughed at that, while Black lunged at Potter and they playfully wrestle.

"I can't believe Potter didn't agree with him," Marlene said to me in awe as we crouched to stay submerged in the water, because now the temperatures were flipped-the water felt warmer than the air above us, although the sun was still working at its job, slowly warming the air.

"Mind if we join you?" Potter threw over his shoulder as Black rammed into him.

"It's a free lake!" I surprised myself by saying that. Marlene looked at me in shock.

"What?" I shrugged. "It is!" Potter and Black dropped their black robes on the grass, revealing summer muggle clothes underneath. Thankfully, Potter stopped Black from removing those as well. So even Potter had limits, I realize with amazement. Although they did remove their shirts-and I had to say, years of Quidditch had paid off for Potter, and so had whatever Sirius had been doing to develop similar muscles as well. I tore my eyes away from Potter's abdomen up to his face, where he was removing his glasses.

"If you step on these, I will murder you," Potter said calmly to Black, holding them up before tossing them on top of his robes.

"I'll do my best," Sirius grinned devilishly, and he and James raced into the waters, not hesitating at the temperature. Sirius dove smoothly, leaving James out in the open, a perfect target to be splashed by Marlene and I. Which we did, of course.

"Hey, hey!" He put his hands up, but soon scooped water back at us, and then Sirius resurfaced. He joined James, and we battled them, spraying and splashing until they were just as soaked as us. Marlene kicked up her legs as the splashing came to a lull, floating in the water, closing her eyes peacefully.

"How do you do that?" I asked her wistfully.

"What?" She opened one eye at me, squinting it against the harsh rays of the sun.

"Float!" I exclaimed.

"You've got to be kidding me, Evans," Potter snickered. "You can't float?"

"No, I cannot," I held myself up tall, anxious to defend myself. "But I'll have you know I could swim to the other side of the lake and back before you manage to even pass that tree!" I pointed at another willow tree around fifty meters down. He raised an eyebrow.

"Do I hear a challenge, Padfoot?" He turned his head back in the waist-deep water to Sirius, who had also adapted a floating position in the water.

"If you both want to get pulled under by the squid, I may not hear you scream from this far back," he shrugged nonchalantly, lazily tracing fingers in the water.

"Here, look." I flopped down, kicking myself up onto my back. The water managed to support me for a few seconds before my legs sunk down, leaving only my face up above the water, and by then my heels were already in the sand.

"Why you gotta be so mean to me, water?" I chastised it, bringing my hands down on the surface, ripples moving out. James was shaking with laughter, and I pulled my head up, glaring at him.

"I would say let's see you do better, Potter, but then-" I stopped myself, an idea forming in my mind. "Yeah, let's see you do better."

"Easy," he rolled his eyes, kicking himself up until he was floating. "See, Evans? Now _this _is how you flo-splurgh!" I snuck over to him, willing the rippling water not to give me away, and pushed down his hard stomach. He flailed around for a moment, eyes wide in shock.

"EVANS!" he roared, jumping after me. Giggling loudly I leapt back and his arms circled around pure air, the force of his momentum sending him staggering, almost face-down, into the lake. "Impressive," he resurfaced, looking at me. "That was a good move."

"The one where I completely silenced your arrogant bragging or jumped away?" I grinned, letting him know I was teasing. By now Marlene and Sirius were turning flips and doing handstands in the water, trying to out-do each other.

"Both," he admitted, shrugging. "Now, will you go out with me?" I glared at him through dripping hair.

"What do you think I'm going to say, Potter?"

"How do you know you don't secretly, subconsciously want to go out with me?" he winked, already back to his normal arrogant self.

"Because, Potter," I snapped, a bit disappointed but not sure why. "Even my secret, subconscious self thinks you're an annoying prat."

"It's alright, Flower," he begins to grin, and I begin to get scared. "Want to know why?"

"Not particularly."

"Because," he plows on anyway. "Because this year, I have _all summer _to ask you out, love," I let myself fall back into the water, going under and screaming my heart out.

**The Next Day, In Class**

I was about to fall asleep. No lie. If History of Magic was not such an important class to know about, I would not have picked it. I looked wistfully out the open window toward the lake-several students on free hour seemed to have gotten the same idea Marlene and I had yesterday, and were splashing gleefully in the Black Lake. However, we were too far up to hear their joy-fulled screams, which was probably for the better. That would be just too tempting to simply _not _levitate myself out the window while Binns's back was turned.

Five more days, five more days, everything seemed to hum. I bounced my leg impatiently, staring at our ghost professor-maybe if I stared at him with enough intensity he would stop talking. Or evaporate in the heat.

No such luck. He continued to drone on about Oslo and Frezzie, the two first-recorded half human, half giant. They reminded me of Hagrid, and I felt a pang of guiltiness-I hadn't been to see him in a while, but I was swamped with homework. With the year coming to a close you'd think the Professors would go easy on the truckload of essays and reports, but no-it was the exact opposite, especially Binns and McGonagall. The episode at the lake yesterday was sheer luck that I had finished my homework in my free hour before. I rested my head in my hand, wondering if it was possible to fall asleep with your eyes open.

By the end of the class, I concluded that it wasn't. With three classes until the end of the day-Transfiguration, charms, and potions, my attention span was at an all-time low-now that I had got the idea of visiting Hagrid, it was all I could think about. At least in Charms, when Sirius plunked down in the chair next to me, we could get away with passing notes. That was one of the perks of sitting next to one of the best pranksters in school-they could pass a Hippogriff around the whole class thrice before the teacher could catch on.

_ You look just a bit bored._

** Just a bit? That's all? **I rolled my eyes at Sirius's first statement.

_ Maybe a medium-sized amount. Do you think the girls are sexy in Greece?_

** Do you think the boys are?**

_ Point taken. Besides, Prongs would hex anyone before they could look twice at you._

I winced-Sirius had unknowingly reminded me about Snape. **Yeah, yeah. You ever been to Greece?**

_ Are you kidding? The woman who called herself my mother before disowning me would sooner give her right hand than bring me somewhere half-way enjoyable!_

** Your Mum disowned you? Is that why you live with Potter? Sorry...don't answer that if you don't want to.**

_ It's fine, I honestly don't give a rat's arse. Yeah, that's why. Good riddance, I say. I like Potter's Mum better._

** Isn't she a bit old for you?**

_ Aw, stuff it, Evans. _

** You don't seem that upset about being disowned.**

_ I was hoping she'd do it for years, the only thing I'm upset about it her not doing it sooner! You know she once enchanted her giant cookbook to follow me around, repeatedly trying to close my head in it. The book was bigger than any of our textbooks._

** That explains a lot! **I covered a snicker as I gave him this note

_ Ha-ha, Evans. No brain damage, though-I warded it off with one of her favorite portraits. _

** Clever.**

_ I often wonder why I'm not in Ravenclaw._

Charms ended with tiny Professor Flitwick yelling, red-faced and angrily, at Lucius Malfoy and a few of his Slytherin friends for bewitching Frank Longbottom's quill to shout embarrassing things about its owner.

Finally at the end of the day, I was able to make it to Hagrid's, with Alice along. We practically flew down the hill to his hut, relieved the long day was over. The cool evening air was like heaven, the rock steps crunching as we stepped on each one. We technically weren't supposed to be out on the grounds this late, but since we were going to see a teacher-well, sort of-we figured it was alright.

We rapped on the door a few times, stepping back to give room to whatever new 'pet' Hagrid was housing currently that might come bolting out the door.

"Jus' a minute!" he called from inside. Scuffling and scraping from inside the house sounded through the door, and Alice and I took another step back. Hagrid finally threw the door open, flowery apron and bright scarlet oven mitts giving hint that he was in chef mode.

"Ah, Lily, Alice!" he beamed. "Come righ' in, no miniature dragons this time, Lily, they're covered ou' back," he chuckled, noticing we were standing a few steps away from his door. "Only a few Jobberknolls I found back in the forres', and they won' hurt anyone! They're harmless creatures!"

Hagrid's definition of "harmless creatures" was slightly different than most peoples', though, so I wasn't that assured.

"Sorry we haven't been to see you lately, Hagrid!" Alice begun, and we both took a seat in his over-large kitchen chairs as he fiddled around with whatever was in the oven.

"Quie' alright, I suspect your professors aren' lettin' up now just cause the term's almost over," he said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"No, definitely not," I choked after making the mistake of trying Hagrid's mug of-something, a silent dare from Alice.

"Yeh all righ' there, Lily?" Hagrid turned to me, concerned.

"Yeah, just-just went down the wrong pipe," I coughed, eyes watering as I tried to get the taste of burnt sock out of my mouth. Hagrid turned back to his rock-hard cakes, completely burnt.

"Oh no, my cakes!" Hagrid waved his gloves over them to clear the smoke rolling off of the black, rock-looking chunks.

"It's alright, Hagrid, we've just had dinner anyway," Alice reassured him quickly.

"Oh, alrigh'. I'll have the recipe perfected for my rock-cakes by the time yer' children are here in Hogwarts, see if I don't!" With that vow he chucked them out the window, each landing with a hard thump on the ground.

"Why do you have Jobberknolls, Hagrid?" Alice piped up, noticing bright blue-speckled birds. "Those _are _the Jobberknolls, aren't they?"

They were silent, not making any noise except when they took flight from one side of the room to another. And even that was only the swooshing of their wings.

"Have 'em because they're dead useful, they are. Their feathers, at least. They're in a lo'of potions, an' they molt'em like crazy. They're silen' until the minu' they die. Then they make a right awful noise-all o' the sounds they ever heard, backward-mixed into one shriek. Scares away any intruders, tha's for sure," he chuckled deeply.

"I don't think I've ever heard of them," I surreptitiously drained some of the mug with my wand while his back was turned, not wanting to hurt his feelings. Alice did the same.

"Righ' sure you don'. Mighty under-appreciated those birds are," he said a bit grumpily. I was glad, at least, that they were definitely the tamest species Hagrid had ever allowed into his hut. Unless they could magically transform into face-eating vultures. (That was Hagrid's last species of birds-they first looked like canaries, and I had made the mistake of getting too close.)

**The Next Evening**

The next day's classes were exactly the same as yesterday-dull at best, and not spent learning anything exciting but rather spent massaging out writers' cramps from particularly long essays. No matter what the weather said, school was not, in fact, over yet.

Even the sunset that blazed over the ground and shone through the windows was extra spectacular-even Marcus had commented on it when we had first begun patrol. Now it had been washed away, re-painted by the inky blackness of night and scattered with stars like some heavenly being had taken a stroll along the sky and scattered shards of diamond behind them.

"What are your plans for this summer?" Marcus asked as we wondered down the Charms corridor, chatting easily.

"I'm actually going to Greece with Marlene's family, they have a vacation house there," I smiled a bit at the thought. "And Alice, and the Marauders are coming too, minus Peter," I sighed, my perfect summer scenario now being ravaged by the thought of the boys' pranks. But I had to admit, I wasn't dreading that last bit as much as I thought it would. I had almost grown used to the boys' pranks.

_ Almost._

"You don't sound happy with the Marauders going," he had a smile in his voice.

"No, I-" I stopped myself, surprised at the fact that it was true-I actually wouldn't mind them. Remus was actually my friend, and Black and Potter weren't exactly as horrible as they could had been in previous years. "I don't mind, actually, I think I've even gotten used to their pranks," I admitted grudgingly. "If Potter stopped asking me out every few seconds, he could actually, _maybe, _be a nice guy. _Maybe," _I smiled at him, and he had a thoughtful look in his eye.

"So what are you doing this summer?" I questioned him.

"Nothing much, actually," he shrugged. "I have a brother who lives in South Africa, he studies the magical animals that live in the rainforests," he told me a bit proudly. "And I think I'll be visiting him a lot."

"That sounds fun! You should owl me some pictures, if you'd like. I've never seen South America," I wondered what it would be like, hunting down magical animals in rainforests. One big adventure, I concluded. "What kind of animals does he go after?"

"Anything, really-ah, Lily?" he looked at me, almost seeming at conflict with himself. I had known it before, but I really saw it now-Marcus was not bad looking. With his shaggy blond hair, tall build and dark brown eyes, I was surprised he didn't have a girlfriend.

I realized with a start we had both stopped walking, and were standing in the middle of the hallway, staring at each other. I also realized, with a tangled feeling of excitement and nerves and-something else-almost-guilt? all jumbled up where no one could feel them but me-what was going to happen next.

"Yes?" I breathed.

"Can I kiss you?" I was taken aback. No guy I had ever dated-or liked well enough to kiss-had asked me permission before. But did I like Marcus well enough to kiss?

The silence was getting too long, thick and heavy between us, like the air had turned to sap-

-Think, Lily, think-

But I couldn't, I couldn't wrap my mind around the situation, something was stopping me...Marcus leaned in, and I realized asking was just a formality. He was going to kiss me anyway. I stood, rooted to the ground, eyes wide, a billion thoughts racing through my head at once. He took my face in his hands, got even closer-

_ "Petrificus Totalus!" _A disembodied arm with a wand is all that was visible of Marcus's attacker as he fell, stiff as a board, to the floor. I marched over, furious, yanking off what I know knew to be an invisibility cloak.

"Potter!?" I practically screamed. "This is worse than the Amortentia! Which, by the way, they should have given you and Black more than a week's worth of detention for! What makes you think you can go around hexing whoever you please?!" My eyes were burning with anger. "And really, an invisibility cloak? How did you even get that? What were you doing out here, Potter? Spying on me?" I fired off questions at him.

"No, I was most certainly not _spying _on you!" He protested. "I was-well, I was-uh, why do you need to know?" He demands rudely.

"At the lake, I thought maybe, just maybe, you were starting to change," I began, quietly furious. "Even just a tiny, _tiny _bit. I was willing to allow myself to wonder if you were even when you asked me out for the thousandth time that week. But no! You're still the _hot-headed bully _I've known since first year and why should I have expected you to change?"

Potter stared at me. For once, he was speechless. And I truly didn't care. Fuming, I wondered if he would ever get it through his _thick _skull that he could not go around hexing whomever he pleases. My conclusion was, no.

I left him there, gaping after me as I preformed the counter curse on Marcus. And I continued walking. Marcus would understand my need to get away.

"Lily!" Potter shouted, and I heard him began to come after me. But I started running, and didn't look back.

"Lily, I _am _changing!" He shouted after me.

Just this once, I really wished he was. I really did. But I couldn't believe _that _seconds after he hexed a boy for trying to kiss me. I'd never been so disappointed in James Potter in my life. I felt sick to my stomach, not even sure why.

**A\N 20 reviews in two chapters, you guys rock! Happy Halloween, review please! **


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: Have You Heard of Knocking?**

**DISCLAIMER-Everything is J.K Rowling's!**

_Every day it's a-gettin' closer goin' faster than a roller coaster, love like yours will surely come my way! -Buddy Holly "Everyday"_

Breakfast and lunch, and packing in-between, on the last day of the year seemed to drag by slowly-no matter what anyone said, we would all miss Hogwarts, no matter how excited we all were to leave at the moment. We had all day to pack and say goodbye, until the Hogwarts Express left at four o'clock.

And the very next day, Marlene and I would leave for Greece, and I was so excited I could barely contain myself from tap-dancing on the rooftops! Alice was the only other who was originally allowed to go, but at the last moment her parents had sent her news of her gran falling deathly ill, and they were going to be spending most of the summer with her instead.

As a common idea among Quidditch-loving students, my friends and I raced down to the Quidditch pitch to snatch up the school-owned brooms before they would all be gone. We wanted to spend our last few hours of sixth-year Hogwarts along with the half of the school-in the air. Even Emmy managed to overrule her fear of heights, although she didn't hover far above the ground. Dorcas stayed low with her, circling the pitch, but Marlene, Alice and I couldn't stay anchored to the ground for long.

It was a beautiful day, although cursedly hot-everyone seemed to be pulling black robes away from sweaty skin, but the three of us found a different remedy to the heat-the wind.

"Think about it," Alice was saying after she left Frank, leaving him to his male friends. "This is our last final day at Hogwarts where we can think we'll see it next year. Seventh year, we can't think that."

"Unless we teach here," I contradicted, and she rolled her eyes at me. We had been floating up higher and higher, almost to the top of the highest stands. Out of the shade, the noon soon bore down on us with full force.

"Oh-it's them," I remarked glumly, eying the four troublesome boys as about ten females flocked around them, particularly James and Sirius. I looked down at my broom intently, trying to avoid James's searching gaze. I knew he was looking for me. He had been in a constant state of full on stalker-mode ever since the hexing incident. I didn't know why I was so disappointed-and still was-what was I expecting? It _was _James Potter, after all.

"What happened, exactly? You seem more annoyed with them than usual," Marlene looked down on them with me.

"What? Nothing. It's a long story."

And I hadn't told anyone else about it either, not even Marlene.

"Well if it's a long story, it certainly can't be nothing," Marlene observed, but dropped the subject after I threw her an imploring look.

"I think we should race," Alice suggested.

"Of course you do," I grinned, nudging her broom handle with my own. "You'd beat us by miles, with your fancy broom. Marlene and I are on school ones."

"Exactly!" she beamed, stretching her arms up into the sun. "So, to the Great Lake, then?"

"Let's go!" I agreed, imagining my broom making revving sounds like a muggle motorcycle's as we all faced the lake that is nothing more than a black sheet of glass in the distance.

"Ready!" Marlene was practically shaking with excitement. "Set, go!" We all screamed the last two words together and shoot off. Of course, Alice pulled quickly ahead, her broom being the fastest, but I smiled into the wind, content with my own broom at the moment. I did a sloth grip roll, hanging upside down from my broom for a moment like a koala, limbs wrapped securely around it.

"Whoooo!" I whooped, righting myself once more and shooting past Marlene. This was bliss. We race toward the lake, the air growing cooler as it pushed back my clothes and hair, letting them stream behind me. I relaxed on my broom, unclenching my muscles. I let one hand off the broom, and then the other, lifting them both above my head, and hanging onto the broom with just my legs.

A quick wobble sending my stomach into my throat reminded me that this is a school broom and I wrapped my hands securely back around it, leaning forward to make it go faster. We slowed as we skimmed over the lake, glad for the weather-repellent charms on the brooms. It was much cooler out here, the air mingling with the water's mist.

"Look!" Alice pointed, exclaiming in an excited whisper. For just a moment, the outline of the giant squid is visible-no matter its name, the size of it was still a shock when you saw it.

"Please don't eat us," Marlene murmured; I didn't know if she was joking. It lazily stuck a light purple tentacle towards the surface, almost waving at us. It blinked its large eye before swimming away, folding itself under the depths of the water.

"I've never seen it so close," I breathed. "Besides the time it threw me back up out of the lake when I had the misfortune of falling in…but even then I didn't really see it, it happened so fast."

"Nor have I," Alice agreed, and Marlene nodded her consent. It was almost as if it was wishing us a farewell from Hogwarts-little did I know how accurate the squids goodbye was; I had no idea that I would not be seeing my beloved school for a very, very long time, save one more short, sinister visit.

**After the Train Ride; King's Cross Station**

"See you tomorrow!" I replied, waving to Marlene after a longer goodbye to our other friends. We all went their separate ways, losing each other in the bustling crowd of good-byes and reunions.

"Bye, Lily! I'll write!" I turned toward the voice of Marcus Blewstry. I nodded and smiled, waving and wondering what could have caused him to suddenly put the awkwardness behind him.

"Bye Lily, see you next year!" Two breathless girls in the year below me whose names I didn't know ran past, darting through the crowd. To my right I watched a heartfelt reunion between James and his parents. He didn't see me staring. His mum and dad enfolded him in a hug; both of them look quite a bit older than my own parents. James grinned adoringly at them, and they invited Sirius into the hug as well. Soon enough a gaggle of students and parents obscured my view, and when they finally struggled past with their heavy trunks, the Potters had vanished. Grabbing my trunks from the pile I searched for my own parents-I told them that I could have just apparated, but they insisted on coming-they could never melt through the magical barrier enough to be satisfied. It was one of those things that would never lose it's magic.

"Mum! Dad!" I cried, jumping to my toes as I saw a flash of my father's dark red hair that I seemed to have inherited exactly, and my mother's blond that Petunia had gotten.

"Lily!" My father rushed forward, picking me up in an exuberant hug and spinning me around completely before letting me back down.

"I've missed you guys!" My grin was huge-but I noticed with a pang they were unsuccessful in dragging Petunia along. My mother gathered me into a hug as well, smiling in her motherly way at me as she gently pushed back a tendril of hair that had escaped out of my ponytail, floating to the side of my face.

"I can't believe we only get a day with you before you leave for practically the whole summer," my mother moaned.

"I'll write and floo tons, don't worry," I smiled at them as we began to walk. We melted through the barrier, the sounds of wizard chatter replaced by muggle pagers beeping, the steam of many trains hissing, and shouted conversations over the noise of train pistons.

My father's face turned dark at the mention of Petunia. "We're not happy about your sister's scorn of magic, Lily," he assured me, taking my suitcase and lifting it into the trunk of the car once we step out of the station and into the sunlight. It was one of those rare cases-completely sunny, but drizzling just the same.

"But it's nothing personal, darling," my mother promised, closing the door behind her. "Now, dear," she turned to face me as my dad starts the car up, pulling out of the train station. "I want to see some magic. You're of age now," her eyes lit up excitedly, the child in her coming out.

"Mum, don't you think Petunia will be upset?" I asked hesitantly, although fingering my wand anxiously, excited to try it out in an area that wasn't school.

"That's why she wants you to do it in the car, Flower," my father chuckled, looking at me in the rear view mirror. "Best get it out of your system now so Petunia doesn't get upset. She told Vernon, you know, about magic," he laughed, seeming to remember something funny. "That man's face turned shades of purple I didn't even know existed. Even though she didn't tell him in front of us, I mean-he was still purple when they got home. I don't even think he believed Petunia until she showed him some of those moving-picture things you left scattered in your room last Christmas," he winked.

"Maybe just a simple levitation spell, if you take the long way home and not the highway, so no muggles can see. Besides yourselves, of course," my mother clapped her hands.

"Alright, as requested, the back road," my father pulled off the exit and onto a

bumpy road surrounded on either side by muggle housing.

"Wingardium Leviosa," I pronounced clearly for effect. My dad's wallet, my mum's sunglasses, and a few other trinkets were released momentarily from gravity, leaping into the air and floating there.

"Wow," my mum breathed. "That's incredible. You won't get in trouble for that, will you-CHARLES!"

The car swerved, one side of the car in the dirt, tires spinning-spinning the wheel furiously my dad righted us, and soon we were back on the road again, albeit driving slower and a lot more cautiously than before.

"Eyes on the road," my white-faced mum chastised him, one hand on his arm.

My heart was still beating like a jackhammer and I turned to look behind us, where there lay black skid marks that had originated from the tires that had faithfully carried us so many kilometers.

"Sorry, ladies," my dad didn't spare a glance in the mirror this time; his eyes were locked on the road in front of us. "Some of my daughter's wonderful magic distracted me."

"That was first year stuff," I told them proudly. "Mum, watch this-" with a swish of the wand I transfigured her sunglasses into a hedgehog, and it let out a small squeak, scampering off the divider between the two front seats and into her lap, but before she could manage to do much more than shriek in fright I put them back to their original shape.

"That," I chuckled at my mum's open mouth and green eyes wide, and my father's crooked smile- "That was sixth year magic."

**Back in Cokeworth, The Evans' House**

"It's so good to be home!" I cried, running and jumping onto the couch in our living room, burying my face in the colorful quilt hanging off the back.

"Mum? Dad? Is that you?" Petunia came down the stairs, nose in the air. "Petunia!" I exclaimed, scrambling up to wrap her in a hug, to which she protested.

"Dear grumpy sister, not even you can soil my mood," I grinned at her disgusted and terrified face at the look of my luggage floated behind me. My owl hooted indignantly in her face and she let out a small shriek, jumping with surprise. "Because I am going to Greece tomorrow!" I unwrapped my arms from her slender waist, scampering as loudly as I could up the rest of my stairs to my room.

My tiny room filled with white-wood furniture sat waiting for me exactly as I had left it, almost-though I hadn't left the windows open for months, that must have been mum's doing. A warm breeze pushed back my white curtains with tiny blue flowers onto my window seat, where Marlene's owl drew attention, the darkness of her feathers contrasting with the light, summery feel of my room. I took the letter from her beak, dropping myself down on the seat and bringing my knees up to my chest. Six short words graced the entire paper in an obvious message-

_Unpack from Hogwarts, pack for Greece! _Grinning, I sent back a quick reply- _Oh, I am! _and sent the dark owl off, floating into the evening sky.

I managed to unpack in three minutes flat.

Alright...maybe I used a bit of magic. There was something amazing about using magic outside of school, watching the contents of your trunk get up and march to their original places of the closet and room. It reminded me of my favorite childhood movie-Mary Poppins.

Anyway, I was completely unpacked and had just started to repack by the time I was called down for supper.

"Lily!" Mum's voice floated up the stairs. "Supper!" I threw my swimsuits down on my light-blue quilt, deciding to decide after my belly was full. Without realizing it, my wand was tucked very obviously out of my shorts pocket. I ran down the stairs, hair flying behind me. Four heads were visible sitting over our various living room chairs-

Wait...four?

"Hello, Liliana," Vernon showed my his teeth and I forced myself not to take a step back. It seemed he had put on weight since last time-if that was possible. He and Petunia were stark opposites-she with her petite bony-ness and long neck and he with his...well, walrus-ness, really. And no neck. There was no other way to put it.

"Actually, it's just Lily," I reminded him for the umpteenth time. "Nice to see you." But his eyes weren't on me, nor were Petunia's. They were both focused furiously on the wand in my pocket. "It's just my wand," I couldn't resist saying. "It won't do anything unless I make it, and I won't." That didn't ease Vernon's look of horror of anything out of the ordinary. Petunia was glaring, her furious eyes have traveled up to my face, silently demanding that it put it away and not call attention to my 'freakiness.' I shook my head, almost imperceptibly.

My mum cleared her throat, and I threw her a grateful look. She beckoned me over to her chair and I perched on the armrest while she linked her arm through mine.

"Lily has just returned from her school, Hogwarts, as I'm sure Petunia has told you, Vernon," she said conversationally.

"Hogwarts?" he spit the word like it was a terrible curse. Which was funny, because he has no objection to _actual _curse words. "Your school is named Hogwarts?"

"Yes it is, and the forest surrounding it is full of werewolves and other things that muggles such as yourself think are 'not real,'" I laughed to myself a bit on this last statement. "And when you're a first year, they throw you in and see how well you fight them, and that determines what group you're sorted into for the rest of your Hogwarts stay," I struggled to keep a completely straight face. Vernon went pale, looking to Petunia uncomfortably.

"She's just joking, aren't you Lily?" My mother gave me a look-the don't push it look.

"No, I am kidding, don't worry. It's actually a singing hat that reads your thoughts and personality," I amended my statement, totally unaware that this truth disturbed him just as much as the other exaggeration. "Although there are werewolves in the forest," I added, much to Petunia's repulsion. I spared a glance at my father who seems rather involved in the design of the hardwood floors-his fist is pressed casually enough against his mouth, but his crinkled eyes give him away-he was trying just about as hard as he can not to burst out laughing. My father was the exact opposite of Vernon Dursley, if there ever was one. Either him or James Potter.

That thought had popped into my head unaccounted for. I blushed furiously, hoping no one would notice. It was true, though-if the two ever met, it would end in furious lawsuits from Vernon and maybe a couple bat-bogey hexes from James.

"She's going to Greece tomorrow with her friends, at one of their vacation homes." I was shocked that Petunia had added to the conversation-but I would have been even more shocked if she had said it _without _the tone of loathing. "And she'll be gone until later this summer," Vernon relaxed.

Ah. Now I saw why she brought up Greece. A pinch of hurt made my chest contract, and I excused myself into the kitchen.

I finished up the odds and ends that mum had left for me; putting away clean dishes, stirring the salsa, adding the last few ingredients...I let the repetitive work absorb my mind, not letting myself think of anything but cooking and the overheard bits of conversation from the living room that started up again once I'd left.

_Pop_.

"Ah!" I yelped, clamping my hand over my mouth once I saw who had made the noise. "J-James Potter, what are you doing here? Have you _heard _of knocking?" I hissed, closing the door to the living room completely, but not before-

"Lily dear, are you alright?"

"Yes mum, I'm fine, don't worry!" I shouted back.

"Marlene told me what you were stuck with all day and I thought I'd come liven it up," he grinned. "Vernon the Terrible, huh? And is Petunia as pretty as her sister?" He winked at me.

"Potter, I'm still mad at you for hexing Marcus," I turned my back on him, stirring the pot on the stove madly.

"Want me to get that for you, love?" He offered, taking out his wand.

"If you want. And don't call me love. And quiet down!" I whispered as a last demand.

"Nice place you got here, Evans," James spun around-now the dishes were drying themselves, the pots and pans stirring without human assistance-

"Not bad, Potter. If you actually tried in school now, I might have some competition," I looked in amazement at the rather complicated household charms he set in motion.

He swept himself into a deep bow, bringing a grin to my face. I wiped it off before he pulls himself back up, remembering that I am mad at him. "Why thank you, your majesty!" He grinned his crooked grin-this time I couldn't resist. I grinned along.

"Did you even apologize to him?" I sighed, crossing my arms.

"Who? Marcus? Of course!" He looked at me like I was crazy. He was dressed casually in muggle clothes, jeans and a wizarding band T-shirt-so, not completely muggle, I ammended my earlier statement.

"Flower, please accept my most humble apology! I shall never do it again!" He begged, sliding toward me on his knees, clasping his hands up toward me and pouting

slightly.

"Potter," I laughed. "Stop it, or I might actually forgive you."

We grinned at each other for a few seconds.

"You know Lily, I really am changing," he said quietly.

"-And with the pay raise from the drill factory, of course-ah!" Vernon jumped about a mile, and James scrambled to his feet, pushing his glasses higher up on his nose and anxiously running a hand through his black hair. With a double take, I realized that it was a nervous habit.

"AHH!" Vernon exclaimed again once he glimpsed all of the floating utensils. Petunia and my parents followed Vernon, who was looking around in absolute horror, face going beet red.

"Lily Evans, stop this abomination right now!" Petunia hissed through clenched teeth, barely sparing a look at James, who quickly waved his wand, and everything went back to normal.

"Lily, do you want to introduce your friend?" My mother pushed past Vernon and Petunia, standing in front of James and looking slightly frazzled.

"Hi, Mrs. Evans!" A goofy smile plastered James's face as he stuck his hand out. "I'm James Potter!" A look of knowing crossed my mother's face-she had endured six years of my complaints about him, and at the moment he wasn't living up to those standards. He was actually being polite.

"Ah, the very same James my daughter has been talking about since her first letter home from Hogwarts?" My father grinned broadly, striding forward. I slapped my forehead with the palm of my hand, my whole face glowing red, I'm sure.

"Da-ad!" I protested, drawing the word into two syllables.

"Do I risk shaking your hand, Mr. Potter? If you're going to live up to my daughter's wild descriptions of all your pranks, should I risk my safety?"

"I save the pranks for the second meeting," James was grinning from ear to ear.

"Is he-another one of..you?" Vernon spoke, shrinking back from him and pushing Petunia behind him, as if there was a need to shield her, as if James and I were dangerous.

"You can say the word, you know," I told him. "_Wizard_. And he has a name."

Petunia looked at me in astonishment; the smile was slowly shrinking on James's face.

"Well," my mother cleared her throat. "Would you like to stay for dinner, James?"

"Oh no, I really must be going, my parents are probably already inventing the worst possible scenarios of where I could have gotten to, and I'm afraid if I send a patronus, or another type of magical message, my good old fellow here will faint," he jovially clapped Vernon on the shoulder, who shrank back even further, as did Petunia.

"Goodbye, Mr. and Mrs. Evans, thank you for the invitation," he shook both of their hands one more time. "See you tomorrow, Lily," the crooked smile came back, and I smiled with him, a bit sadly.

"Bye, James." He disappeared.

"Could you have been any ruder?" I immediately turned on my sister and her fiancee. "He's a human being, you know! We're all human beings!" I exploded at Petunia and Vernon. "And it's time you both started treating us like so!"

I stormed out of the house, slamming the screen door behind me harder than I intended, and walking out into my backyard. I didn't even realize my eyes were wet until I had circled around the house and begun to walk across the practically house-less street, walking until I come to the park Petunia and I used to play in before she despised my every fiber of being. Where I met Snape, and where I was hoping I wouldn't see him again.

I turned back to my house, the only one on its side of the lonely street-Cokeworth was a town who's population was less than Hogwarts, and we lived on the very edge of it.

I angrily brushed at my eyes, ashamed of the tears that were pooling there. Petunia was in no way my sister, only by blood. She had made that quite clear. And I didn't give a damn about what Vernon Dursley thought. So why was I so upset?

Once I found my way to the park in almost pitch blackness, I made my way to one of the swings, half-heartedly pumping my legs to get me into the air a bit, but mostly just sitting there to think. I remembered coming here and making a flower blossom bloom in my palm. Of jumping off this very swing-staying in the air far too long and landing far too lightly for Petunia's liking. All of this, in turn, cued Snape to the fact that I was a witch. And from then on, there was no going back to normal life, the life Vernon and Petunia were so sure of as being the right way to live.

I finally made it back to my house long after everyone had finished eating-Vernon and Petunia were taking a walk around the backyard, which I was thankful for. I ate my dinner and my parents sat with me.

"Why does she have to marry him?" I asked bitterly, feeling suddenly cold and crossing my legs. "Why does she despise magic so?"

"She's simply jealous, Lily," My mother explained softly, my father taking the hand I wasn't eating with. "And she thinks she can channel that jealousy something else-hatred for magic, so she can be happy without a magic of her own, by secluding herself from it...by marrying a man who is the epitome of normal."

"And now, this Potter boy," my father said sternly, squeezing my hand. "He isn't nearly as bad as you made him out to be in your letters."

"You're good at changing the subject, dad," I commented, smiling at him.

"No, I want to know!" he protested, laughing. "Does this young man hold my Lily's heart?"

"Absolutely not!" I practically choked on my milk. "He's just-well, kind of, if you can call him that-a friend," I reassured him. "I promise."

"He's handsome," mum wiggled her eyebrows at me.

"I guess he is," I kept my eyes down on my plate. "Maybe just a bit."

**The Next Afternoon**

"Swimsuit?" Mum was sitting on my bed, going through a mental list of things she was sure I'd forget, and my dad was watching us both, leaning against the doorway of my closet. Petunia was in her room, and, now that Vernon was gone, was sulking.

"Got it, Mum. I have everything, you both don't need to worry," I promised them.

"I still don't understand how you got half your closet-" he gestured behind him to the lone articles of clothing left after my furious packing section "-or more than half, by the looks of things-into that tiny suitcase," he pointed to my innocent looking muggle suitcase sitting on my bed, not even as big as my Hogwarts Trunk.

"Extension charm, dad," I reminded him. "And it even makes it lighter," I demonstrated by pulling it off the bed with ease, letting it drop onto the floor with a light thud.

"Impressive," Mum dubbed the magic. "Sunglasses? Sunscreen? I don't want a tomato for a daughter when you return," she remarked sternly, reminding me of how easily I burn. Like paper in a flame, my dad always said. Which I inherited from him, of course.

"You can look that way to thank that particular gene," I pointed to my dad, who holds his hands up, laughing.

"Your mother helped, if I remember right." He laughed and my mother threw a pillow at him, blushing.

"Please, Dad," I laughed, plugging my ears. "No details!"

"Oh, I suppose," he strode forward, kissing the top of my head. "What time are you supposed to be there again, Flower?"

"Two. So we have half an hour."

"Are you sure you don't want to be driven?" Mum asked for the fifth time this morning.

"Apparating is much more convenient," I reminded her, also for the fifth time. "Besides, they live almost two hours away."

"Petunia," I knocked on my sister's door, minutes before I have to leave. I had said my final good-byes to my parents, hoping she would surface before then. She hadn't, so I decided to go after her. When she didn't answer, I jiggled the knob-locked, of course.

"Petunia, please," I sighed. "I just want to say goodbye-I could use a spell, you know, to get in here."

"But you won't, you know that? You won't!" Petunia emerged, red-faced. I was shocked to note that her eyes were red, like she had been crying. "You won't because you're Miss Ever-so-polite, and perfect and magical, Lily! How do you think it feels, being shunted to the side all these years?" Her eyes burned with something stronger than anger.

"Shunted to the side?" I wasn't sure I heard her right. "I'm gone for nine-almost ten-months out of the year, Petunia," I told her slowly. "If you wanted to be more liked, then maybe you should think about curbing this act!" I gestured wildly to everything. "You weren't even going to say good-bye to me, were you?" I stated accusingly and suddenly we were the eleven and thirteen year old children again, and I was leaving for Hogwarts for the first time. "Do you even love me anymore?" I whispered, defeated.

"You're my sister," Petunia told me dully. But she didn't answer the question. "What do you think?" She snapped with more emotion.

"Alright, alright, don't get your wand in a knot," I muttered.

Her eyes grew wide. "See?! See?! THAT is exactly what I was hoping you WOULDN'T DO! Even-even if you're not using magic, you're still a freak!" She promptly slammed the door on my face.

"I want my sister back, Tuney," I said calmly through the door. "I know she's in there somewhere...I just wish I knew how to find her." With that I left, pulling the suitcase behind me, relishing every thump it makes down the stairs. I don't use magic this time.

"Bye, Lily!" Mum rushed forward once more, pulling me into a hug. My father joins in, and we stand there like that for a moment.

"I'll visit, you know," I promised into Dad's chest.

"You better," Mum scolded sternly. From upstairs, an almost imperceptible squeak of the door sounded. Petunia's door. I looked up and saw her, sitting on the last step, eyes fixed on me.

"Tuney!" I rushed up the stairs, hugging her wether she wanted to or not. I closed my eyes, not knowing if I could bear it if she wore a look of disgust. But she wrapped one arm around my waist, letting the other stroke my hair, not saying anything.

Now I could leave happy.

**Marlene's House-er,Mansion**

I landed with a pop in Marlene's perfectly manicured front yard, staring in awe at the humongous, down-to-the-last-shingle sculpted houses of the small wizard community that Marlene and James's family inhabited. Every time I came here, I was still shocked at the sheer size of everything. I ran up to the front door, but before I could knock Marlene pulled it open, revealing the lofty interior.

"Lily!" She cried, pulling me into a hug. "Come in! Sorry about James coming over last night, that was completely my fault, I was telling him about Vernon and Petunia," she apologized. "Mum, Lily's here!" She called up the grand staircase to her mother who was levitating down two suitcases-they floated elegantly along behind her.

"Hi, Natalie!" I beamed at the lady who was a second mother to me.

"Lily!" She grinned, waving joyfully. She was the spitting image of Marlene-sleek black hair, elegant way of walking, skin almost as pale as mine. "How nice that you could come!"

"Natalie, did I hear you say Lily?" Another voice drifted down.

"Yes, Daisy. Come down and see the lovely woman your son swears he's going to marry," Natalie winked at me.

"That's James's mum," Marlene whispered helpfully.

"I figured so," I whispered back.

"Ah, there she is!" An older woman with James's eyes and facial shape glided down the stairs, enfolding me in a hug.

"I'm sorry, dear," she apologized for the hug, but I really didn't mind. She was one of those people that you liked right away. Her hazel eyes twinkled, telling of mischievous tales, like her son's. "I just feel like I've known you as long as James has, with all his talking about you!" She finger-combs the hair back from my face. "You're just as lovely as he tells me you are, Lily," I blushed at the compliment. She pulled Marlene into her as well, kissing her forehead. "Did my son apparate into your house with no warning whatsoever last night, by any chance?" Her voice took on a sterner tone.

"Yes-but it was perfectly fine, really. He was just apologizing for something," I tried to reassure her.

"Alright, as long as he wasn't too much trouble...oh, where has he and Sirius gotten to now, those boys aren't even packed!" She cried, exasperated. "James! Sirius! Remus!" She called, face turned up toward the ceiling.

"Yes, mum?" James's voice bellowed, and what I assumed was three pairs of stomping feet (or a large herd of hippogriffs) bounded down the stairs, stopping in front of Mrs. Potter.

"Have you even packed at all, dear?" She sighed, walking forward and attempting to smooth down her son's hair, to which James protested vehemently. She then tried to do the same to Sirius and Remus, the former of which stood with his eyes squeezed shut like it was torture, and the latter of which bore it, smiling contentedly.

"Hey Lily," Remus acknowledged me as Mrs. Potter whacked at Sirius and James until they were scurrying up the stairs, presumably to pack as fast as they possibly could.

"I assume at least you're done, aren't you, dear?" Mrs. Potter looked affectionately toward Remus as he descended the stairs toward us.

"Yes, have been since yesterday," Mrs. Potter nodded satisfactorily at his answer, then began to skip up the steps.

"She raised James?!" I whisper-yelled.

"Yes, he got his pranking from his dad, if that's what you're wondering," Remus admitted. "I better go help Padfoot and Prongs pack, or they won't remember the basics, like underwear," he snickered. "I'll see you both later."

"We can't let them have all the fun this summer, can we?" Marlene began to smile devilishly.

"What do you mean?" I asked suspiciously, raising an eyebrow.

"I've enlisted James's dad to help us with revenge pranks," she whispered unnecessarily-there was no one around. "And not even Sirius and James can stand up to the master of all pranks," she promised with a wicked gleam in her eye.

Within the next few minutes everyone was together, and we were ready to go.

**Back at Hogwarts, Dumbledore's Office**

"Are you sure about this, Albus?" Minerva McGonagall paced the Headmaster's office, irritating many of the portraits.

"Quite sure, my dear lady," Dumbledore consented grimly, bowing his head as he stroked the neck of Fawkes the phoenix.

"But-but this could be a trap, Trelawney could have been faking it, you know her! She could have been lying!" The Professor objected.

"I fear she wasn't. I wish to allow Miss Evans this summer vacation with her friends as much as anyone, but with thousands of lives hanging in balance..." he shook his head regretfully. "We shall give her a few more weeks, Minerva, before we are forced to take action. Because as much as we wish to convince ourselves otherwise, the prophecy is not fraud, a trap, or any sort of conspiracy. And unless acted upon, thousands will die at the hands of Lord Voldemort."

The room seemed to grow darker, colder, at the mention of his name.

**Here is a slightly longer chapter for the slightly longer wait. ****J**** Please review! **

**-Cassia**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: The Marauders' Secret

_It's gonna be a long hot summer and we should be together..._ "Keith Urban "Long Hot Summer"

Later that night, Dumbledore dropped the memory into his penseive, the only source of light in his office. The conjoined silver strands floated down, lighter than a feather in air, and touched the surface of the water. Immediately, the liquid exploded with images-the face of the seer, her eyes huge and glassy as she spoke the words to Dumbledore-

_Beware the rising Dark Looord..._

_ His plans to attack Hogwarts can only be thwarted by one..._

_ He will destroy Hogwarts, school of Witchcraft and Wizardryyyy..._

_ And everything that surrounds it..._

_ Lives will be torn apart, thousands killed..._

_ Destruction, flames...but for one witch, who_

_ Has the power to prevent ittttt..._

_ But her sacrifice to save will not be her life..._

_ Lily Evanssss..._

The Prophecy could not be clearer than that. Lily Evans was the only one who could save thousands of lives from death and destruction, but she would not have to pay with her life.

But Dumbledore knew better than anybody...there were things worse than your life that you could pay with.

"Welcome to Greece!" We disposed of the piece of garbage we'd used as a portkey and begin to climb up the grassy, sloping hills of Kalokeridemos. Which, according to Mrs. and Mr. McKinnon, was called Keride for short, pronounced Care-a-day. The whole long Greek word meant summer village, which we all thought was extremely fitting once we laid eyes on the sunbathed streets and buildings, the blue ocean glittering not too far in the distance.

"It's beautiful!" I gasped, spinning around and trying to take in everything at once.

The three Marauders dashed ahead, laughing and shouting to one another as they actually rolled down hills, luggage following suit.

"We are going to have so much fun!" I exclaimed to Marlene, eyes dancing.

"Count on it!" she promised, turning her face up toward the sun. "Just wait until you see the village-full of cute Greek guys."

"Marlene," her father said sternly, looking down with a raised eyebrow.

"What?" she asked innocently, lips curling up into a devilish smile. Her mother rolled her eyes at her daughter's antics, pushing her sunglasses down onto her nose. Even at six, with the two hour-ahead time leap, the sun's rays were still beating down hard. We were going to be doing a lot of swimming, I could tell.

By the time we finally made our way into the village we were all sweating and panting and were secretly using about fifty wind spells each, each time thinking the others wouldn't notice.

"Richard, why again didn't we apparate into the house again?" James's mum, Daisy, asks.

"Because, dear, no use risking the muggles seeing us use magic! Look, besides, we're already there!"

The village was beautiful. Tucked away in the hills and overlooking the ocean, it took my breath away from the moment I first laid eyes upon it. There were no cars; everything was built so closely together, everyone's space was everyone else's-it was all like one big family. There were donkeys, though, or mules, that were being led by their owners, carrying their belongings on their back.

"Wow," I whispered in a hushed voice, with the silly thought that if I spoke too loud it would all pop like a bubble. "It's beautiful! All of it! Which is yours?"

"I know, I love this place. Our is up there…" She pointed to a Mediterranean-blue roofed house jutting out of the hill a lot bigger than the rest.

"It was smaller, but we used magic to gradually expand it because of all the people we let come with us," she explained quietly so the muggles passing wouldn't hear.

"Hello, McKinnons and friends! Welcome!" A sun-darkened man called to Marlene's father, nodding as he passed. Shouts like this echoed after that, following one another in a rapid succession in a musical mix of Greek and English. We hauled our bags up the sun-washed white stone path, passing ladies hanging laundry on the same clotheslines as their neighbors, chatting rapidly in Greek as they worked together. It seemed like a happy, simple life.

"Prongsie, Moony" Sirius muttered under his breath from in front of us, his eyes focused on a pretty, long-haired girl in a white sundress-revealing, by the way-sitting on the flat roof of one of the houses, watering some kind of plant. "Ten o'clock." He grinned at the girl as she looked down, waving jauntily.

"Hello up there! Abla En-glaise?" James called up with horrible pronunciation.

"This is Greece, not Spain," I hissed to him.

"Thanks for the tip, Evans," James threw over his shoulder as the girl let out a bell like laugh, answering in English.

"Is someone jealous?" Marlene nudged my shoulder as the adults opened the house, exclaiming how long it had been, and how much they'd missed it.

"It's so clean!" Mrs. Potter ran her hand along the white walls. "And you haven't been here in two months?"

"Everyone is so nice here, they keep it in good shape while we're away," Marlene's mum beamed.

A teenage boy from the house on the right called out in Greek through the window, waving. Marlene answered, also in Greek, leaving me baffled.

"I didn't know you knew Greek," I commented, eyes still on the Greek boy who's white cotton shirt contrasted nicely with his darker skin. "Teach me?" I nudged her arm, winking.

"I know a bit," she laughed. "Let's get our stuff into our room-we'll be sharing, the boys will, and the four adults get two rooms each."

"Sounds perfect," I sighed, following her up the narrow staircase. Everything was so different than in Britain, down to the colorful, threadbare rugs covering the stone floor. The houses seemed to grow right off up the ground, mixing elements with nature.

"This isn't going to be all swimming and climbing on the roof, you know," Marlene poked her head out of the closet, which looked much bigger from the inside-it almost seemed impossible architecturally. I put that down to magic. "Mum's going to make us do chores, and that means scrubbing, and all that stuff. Toilets included, no magic allowed."

"I don't mind!" I told her truthfully.

Later that night, several of the neighbors held sort of a gathering, and we all danced to the music played by a few men on instruments I'd never seen before, much less knew what to call. The sound of exotic notes filled the air as Marlene introduced me to several teens, who, thankfully, spoke at least halting English. There was Katarine, a short girl who spoke it slowly and kept mixing up the words 'boat' and 'house', Kostas and Vythos, the latter of whom had called to Marlene through the window earlier, and Dimitris, a slightly older boy who spoke English almost as well as Greek. I tried a piece of dark bread with some sort of blue-ish green spread at Marlene's insistence as we moved away from Katarine and the rest, and almost spit it out in surprise, choking on the sour taste.

"That-was," I gasped, searching for the right words, talking loudly over the loud music and laughter. We were under some sort of stone floored building with just a ceiling and the occasional beam holding it up, leaving it mostly open to the evening air. I groaned at Marlene's laughing face, bending over and clutching her sides, laughing at my expression which must have been pretty humorous by the way she was guffawing.

"Very nice, Marlene, just remember we're sharing the same room," I groaned, wiping the corner of my mouth. "You'd best sleep with one eye open," I threatened.

"I'm terrified, Lily," Marlene rolled her eyes. "Want to dance?"

"Let's go!" She grabbed my wrist, pulling me out into the middle and we dance in the group with everyone else. I couldn't help but notice it, but a feeling of unease had started in the pit of my stomach about ten minutes ago, when we'd first arrived, and had been rapidly spreading. I couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong.

But that was perfectly ridiculous, and I was determined to ignore it and enjoy myself.

"Enjoying yourself, Evans?" Sirius stepped by, somehow managing to dance with three girls at once.

"Not as much as you are, Black, I'm sure," I laughed at him and Marlene rolled her eyes, keeping her gaze away from him, cheeks slightly pink. I suspected why Sirius came over here with three girls, and it wasn't to ask me whether or not I was enjoying myself.

"I think you should ask one of those cute Greek boys to dance," I suggested to her casually. I notice with a start that when Sirius had gone by, I didn't see James with him-I actually didn't see James anywhere.

He was probably with a girl, I rolled my eyes internally. But-Remus was gone, too.

"I will if you too!" She returned merrily. I opened my mouth to reply-just then, my eyes glanced over to the darkest, most uninhabited corner of the room-James and Remus were signaling frantically to Sirius, who had just made eye contact with him-casting one grieving glance at the three girls like he wouldn't be back anytime soon, he dashed out, and all three boys disappeared into the setting sun.

Something was wrong.

Sirius Black never, never left a pretty girl-especially three of them.

"Actually, I-you go ahead," I attempted a casual tone. "I'll just-I need some air."

"Okay…are you alright?" Marlene eyed me suspiciously.

"Yeah-yeah, I'm fine. I'll see you later, alright?" I slipped out, muttering the only word I had picked up in Greek so far-Pardon me.

Eyes sweeping around the village growing out of the hill, I darted out down the road I thought I'd seen the boys disappear down.

I quickly scampered down the path, listening for voices-

"-don't know where to go, could we apparate somewhere?" Sirius's anxious voice floated to me-from just down the road, several houses down.

"No, we can't do that when he's about to-you know!" James hissed, looking around anxiously. I darted quickly in an empty open doorway, thanking Merlin that the house's inhabitants were gone-at the gathering, I presumed.

"Wait-look! There!" Remus pointed out into the glinting ocean, reflecting the orange of the sunset. So far away that it was just a smudge, lay a small island-that much was clear. "I don't think my "other self" knows how to swim," he laughed shakily.

"Funny, Moony. But good idea. How will we get out there?" The boys picked up their pace, now jogging urgently.

"Jack a boat?" Sirius suggested. Both James and Remus looked at him like he was crazy.

"What? It's for the greater good, mates. Better this than the other alternative," Sirius's voice held eerie significance. What was I missing? I tried to keep my footfalls light as I followed after them. The sun was setting, but the full moon was also in the sky-both burning red.

"...can't risk...magic..."

"...boat?"

"ARE YOU MAD? Don't you think they would realize that their boat was duplicated?!" Remus said loudly.

"Not if we park it on the other end of the island!" Sirius exclaimed hotly. "Now let's go, before he changes! We haven't got much time!"

James muttered the spell so quietly that I couldn't hear a bit, and both Remus and Sirius stood guard, standing behind him.

A split second later, two completely identical motorboats bobbed side by side in the water, and the three Marauders were piling in, Remus sitting in the back, legs pulled up to his chest. It looked like his fist was in his mouth, and his eyes were squeezed shut-

I felt something snap into place inside of me, but just momentarily, just long enough to alert me to it's presence, but brief enough for me to just fall short of grasping it. I knew what was going on-but, yet, I didn't.

Should I follow them? I hesitated.

Of course I should. They might be in danger.

So I apparated across the waters, directly into a conveniently tall tree, wobbling for a heart-stopping moment before grabbing onto the trunk and holding for dear life. It was dead in the middle of the island, which was bigger than I realized. The last rays of sun were shining on the waters, before dipping down and disappearing completely. I stood, inexplicably transfixed, rooted to the spot. Almost like I couldn't remember how to move- but I stayed and watched, not twitching a muscle, until the last of the sun had dipped down, the ocean swallowing it whole. Only the full moon remained now, but it alone was enough to light the island.

With a jolt, I suddenly remembered why I was here. I quickly magic-ed myself down from the tree, glad to have my feet under solid ground again. It had grown dark-very dark, very fast. Especially with the trees blocking out the moon. Tree branches popped and snapped under my feet, the sounds bouncing around. The island seemed mysteriously...empty. There were no bugs flying around my face to bat at, no crickets singing or frogs chirping...it was almost as if all animal life had forsaken it. Like the calm before a storm.

Almost, except for the less subtle sounds of occasional splashes in the water.

"James?" I didn't know why. But suddenly I was very, very nervous. "Sirius? Remus?"

Something cracked behind me, and I whirled around. "Who's there?" I whipped out my wand-the bushes started to tremble, and a low growling noise was reverberating from the forest ground...

"Homenum rev-" a furry, black mass silently pounces on me, and I fell back onto the floor. Winded, heart beating wildly out of control, terror coursing through my veins-I'd lost my wand, I couldn't reach my wand-

Suddenly the thing shifted and it was Sirius holding me down on the ground, on my stomach, legs tangled with mine.

"Lily, what in Merlin's name are you doing here?" This was as deadly serious as I'd ever seen him. His eyes dart around nervously, wincing as a wolfish, keening howl splits the air.

"Sirius, what the hell-would you get off of me? What's going on?" My voice carried, louder than it was supposed to.

"Lily, get out of here, now!" He didn't roll off me, but only got in my face more, conveying the urgency of the situation. If Sirius was this scared, I was, too.

"I-how?"

"Apparate!" He whisper screamed. "Use your wand!"

"I-you sort of attacked me-wait-were you a dog?" My voice was hoarse as I whispered.

"Never mind that, we've got more important matters at hand! Help me find your wand!" He finally got off me, and madly started scrambling around, cursing whenever he pulled up an ordinary twig, thinking at first that it was my wand. I did the same, hands shaking slightly.

"Sirius, you have to tell me what's going on!" Another mournful howl split the air, piercing the night, and chilling me to the bone. It was too dark to be scrambling about looking for a twig in a pile of twigs, and Sirius finally realized it.

He swore, hitting the ground. But he quickly leapt to his feet, spinning around and checking his back.

"We have to get you out of here, follow me," he stood urgently, grabbing my wrist and pulling me through the foliage. Pure adrenaline was the only thing keeping me from feeling the snapping twigs cutting into the skin of my face. Sirius fell forward, and I stumbled, trying to catch him-but he hadn't fallen, he had morphed into a dog as black as the night.

"You're an Anamagi," I hissed at him, putting my shaking hands in front of my face to push away a particularly nasty looking branch. We finally made it to the edge of the island, scrambling over the sand into the water. The waves splashed up to my knees, to my waist, the icy cold shocking my senses into overdrive. Sirius paddled his legs furiously, panting loudly. Back in the woods I heard trees crashing, and a high pitched yelp. Sirius whipped his head around, whimpering as if in pain. The motorboat was floating out, further into sea, and land was just a dark smudge against the even darker endless sky.

With a splash he returned to his human form, completely soaked as his head bobbed under, and he gasped, spluttering as he came above the waves. The enchanted boat was slowly filling with water, sinking until it disappeared completely under the next wave.

"We're in trouble now," Sirius turned back to me grimly. "You can't swim back that far, can you? No, I suppose not...and you can't tread water forever..."

"Sirius Black, stop. Look at me. I grabbed his shoulders roughly, stopping him from plowing through the chest-high waters. "What is back there? What could be worth drowning myself getting back to shore?" He looked at me urgently, searching my eyes.

"I think you know, Lily," he answered darkly. "I think you've already got it figured out, you just won't admit it to yourself yet." A tremor ran through me, and the cold finally set in-the temperature of the night air plummets, and the wind was picking up, soaking us both to the bone. Sirius was shivering violently, but I doubted he even realized. I noticed with a start that the barely-audible sound of clacking and grinding are my teeth banging together.

"Come on, we'll get you up-up a tree- or-or something," he pulled me toward him, and we huddled together, trying to keep whatever little body heat we had.

"Werewolf," I spluttered as a wave broke over my head, and lightning split the sky. "Remus-he's a werewolf. And you-you are an Anamagi." Another wave broke over my head, and I stumbled, going under for a moment. I flailed around, and I thought I hit my head on something-I can't tell, I was too numb with cold. But my skull reverberated with pain before the adrenaline kicked in.

"Are you alright?" Sirius asked after grabbing my arm, pulling me up.

"I-yeah," I touched my hand to my head tenderly, but it was too dark to see if any blood had come off on my hand-so I assumed that there was none.

"Okay, so not up a tree," Sirius muttered darkly, glaring at the lightning and ignoring my statement. We struggled onto the shore, and I cried out as I cut my foot on a jagged rock-both of my flip flips were long gone.

Sirius threw one of my arms around his shoulder as I hobbled toward the trees. Sand coated our legs up to our knees. All I want to do is curl up in bed-

"What are we going to do?" I moaned.

"We-JAAAAMES!" He bellowed just as thunder rumbles. He flung hair out of his face, pulling at his shirt, which was plastered to his body. "JAAAAAMES!" Rain began to pour, and lightning split the sky once more, illuminating everything in eerie white light.

I didn't hear it coming at all, but in a moment a giant stag was outlined in front of the trees, galloping toward us.

"Is that James?" I screamed over the waves pounding the shore and the rain driving itself into the ground. The trees were whipping and leaves and small bits of foliage were flying around in the strong wind. The foot that I cut was numb, and I had to succumb and put it down in the sand, even if that meant infection.

The stag shrank, and as it ran toward us, it becomes James.

"James, where's Remus?" Sirius roared as James pounded toward us, looking at me in horror.

"Back there! Trying to get out of the rain! Lily-dammit-Sirius, what is she doing here?" He bellowed.

"She followed us, mate, and she cut her foot," Sirius yelled, cupping his hands over his mouth to be heard. James wiped furiously at his glasses, clearing the rain, but only momentarily.

"Go check on him!" He shouted at Sirius, and he viciously ripped the sleeve off of his shirt.

"Put your foot up!" He yelled urgently as Sirius became a dog, taking off into the forrest. I half-sat, half-fell down onto the sand, pushing away dripping bits of hair that had plastered themselves to my face, offering my foot to James. Hands steady, he quickly wrapped the fabric around my foot, tying it on the top.

"Can you run?" He looked up at me, then behind us, everywhere-I could see terror evident in his eyes-not for himself, but me.

"I-I don't think so," I gasped, my voice thick. The cut was worse than I had originally thought-stabbing knives of pain are rolling through my whole leg, causing me to stagger forward.

James caught me with strong arms, clutching my shoulders-my neck snapped forward, my cheek grazing his shoulder. He easily lifted me up, one arm under my back and the other arm under my legs. Bridal style, I thought, but now is not the time for embarrassment. Only immense gratitude.

"You're an Anamagi, too," I shivered violently, and he pulled me closer to him as we stumbled through the woods. I heard a whimpering howl, much closer now. The sound of a werewolf.

"W-we need to get hidden," James yelled over the wind, chest vibrating with his voice.

"N-not up a t-tree," I chattered, and thunder rumbled threateningly across the sky to prove my point.

"Bush," James got out. "Rain-rain will c-cover our s-scent."

"All-all night?"

"If we have to."

At one point I tensed up, thinking I heard pounding feet, but it must have been my imagination-because nothing was following us.

"What about Sirius?" I asked.

"He'll be fine, Remus doesn't really attack us much as animals."

"Attack you m-much?" James didn't answer.

"Here," he let me out of his arms, and clawed a hole in one of the bushes, breaking branches so there was a little den, almost.

"Are you staying?" He pushed me into the den, and it was amazingly uncomfortable. But better than out there. He followed me in, pulling at twigs and branches to close the gap.

"Would you rather get Hypothermia? And I suppose you have questions," pulling the last bit of branch to cover the opening, he sat back, hunched over. I was curled into the fetal position, holding my foot and trying to apply pressure, and only succeeding in making my fingers even colder than they already were. It was a spacious hiding place, but not very tall at all. It was dark, but not pitch black; I could see the outline of James's tensed jaw. Rain still dripped into the shelter, but not as heavily as outside.

I readjusted myself, trying to ease my skin off of the sharp twigs to no avail. They were everywhere. But still, I reminded myself again. Anything is better than outside.

Another howl split the air. Poor Remus, I thought mournfully to myself.

James looked at me oddly, and I realized that I must have said it aloud.

"Poor Remus?" He asked incredulously. "I don't even think my mom would say that if she was in your place," he shook his head in disbelief.

"What do you mean?" I closed my eyes, suddenly very tired.

"Just...think. None of this would have happened if he wasn't a werewolf."

"It's my fault," I shook my head sleepily. I ached all over, and I would even more tomorrow; my muscles screamed in discomfort already. But I tried to block it out. "I shouldn't have followed. And it's not like Remus asked a werewolf to bite him," I responded as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. James was silent. I put both of my hands on my injured foot, wincing. "How long have both of you been Anamagi? Is Peter one, also? Is that how you got your nicknames?" The last question popped into my head.

"We started changing in fifth year," James began to respond quietly, rubbing his hands together. "And Peter is a rat. Yes, that's how we got our nicknames."

I drank this new information in. It made sense, now, a lot of things.

"Furry little problem," I murmured. I was really beginning to shake now, even though I was warming up. "I bet he never even had a rabbit!" I murmured, giggling. After all, it was funny, wasn't it? A furry little problem. That's what they always said. Everyone thought he had a badly behaved rabbit.

"Lily...are you alright?"

"Of course-course I am!" My voice sounded high-pitched. Little red dots began to swirl in my vision, dancing and multiplying until everything was outlined in red. And now I was cold again, and soon a splitting headache started pounding through my skull. "No, James..." I murmured. "I feel...odd. My hands...I can't feel my hands." I closed my eyes, but heard the twigs crunching under James's weight as he shifts.

"May I?" I opened my eyes, and there was not one, but two James's, floating and dipping. I didn't even know what he was talking about, because all I could see was the pale circle of his face.

"May you what?"

"Erm-warm up your hands."

"Yeah," I muttered. "James, I feel really weird." He looked at me, a bit scared. "

"Your hands are like ice," he murmured. "Lily-Lily, you're on fire!" He said as his hand went to my forehead, and his voice rose in panic.

"Someone is calling my name," I whispered.

"No, Lily! No one is calling!" He almost shouted. His voice was frantic. "Lily, wake up!" He shook my shoulders and I cried out in pain. "Don't fall asleep, or you might not wake back up!" His eyes were huge.

"They're calling your name, too," I informed him. I could hear someone, shouting both of our names...

"Mum?" His head snapped up.

"Told you," I whispered.

"Al-alright, Lily, just wait, my mum knows about Remus, she must have guessed you'd follow, wait-just wait-"

"Mum!" He roared, standing and breaking through the roof of our shelter. I whimpered and pulled my head in my arms; the rain was pounding on me again.

"Lily-" he stooped down again, pulling me back up-his voice sounded like garbled gibberish now. I didn't hear him, didn't understand him. I just wanted to go to bed...

I thought I was in his arms, but I wasn't sure. I was just too tired...to tired to open my eyes...my eyelids were so heavy...

I screamed in pain as my head knocked against James's muscled arm, the pain breaking me out of the fogginess I was descending into.

"Merlin, Lily, what happened to your head? You're bleeding!" I closed my eyes again, pulling my arms into my chest, trying to warm myself.

"Mum! MUM!" James bellowed. "Help us! Are you protected?" He shouted.

"Yes, yes I have my wand, I can shield myself-quick, give us Lily-your father's over there, he found a wand, we think it's hers-James, WHAT in Merlin's name HAPPENED to her head?" She shrieked.

"I don't know! Is she okay? D'you have her? I've got to help Sirius!" He didn't leave immediately. "Won't she be alright?"

An older version of James's voice floated through the air, yelling something garbled. And then I was floating.

I opened my eyes, and everything was hazy, color-tinged-James was looking down at me worriedly, I didn't know how I was suspended in the air-

"James!" I screamed. "Watch out!" Something was behind him, stalking closer. A giant monster-wolf with red eyes, but no one looked, didn't anyone see it? My voice was too slow, too thick-was I even making any noise? Did James even hear my warning? I tried to kick out, to thrash, to scream-anything. But all I had control of is my eyes-and then even that went. The last thing I did before I lose consciousness was see the monster attack James, pouncing on him from behind, red eyes glowing.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: Remus**

_ She was the one that got away, the one that wrecked my heart, I should have never let her go I should have begged her to stay...she was the one that got away -Jake Owen "The One That Got Away"_

I opened my eyes. I was in Marlene 's and my room, on one of the beds. The sunlight from the un-paned window was filtering in, a square on the stone-and-dirt floor. What day was this?

Memories came flooding back to me-

"James!" I called out. James-he had been attacked! Remus-Remus was a werewolf-Remus attacked James!

"James!" I shot out of bed, landing hard on my right leg, sending a dull throb into the sole of my foot. But the pain was barely there-it must have been magically healed, as well as my head. As I dashed out the door I put a hand to the back of my head where I hit it on a rock at the bottom of the sea-nothing. It must have been Marlene's mum-she was a healer, and quite a good one, too.

"J-" I stopped myself after coming to the sitting area. I was wearing different clothes than I had been-I think it was one of Marlene's night dresses. The house was empty, as far as I could-

"Finally!" Marlene rushed up to me, throwing her arms around me. "You're completely healed now, or almost, aren't you? They said that's when you would wake! Why did you try and follow the boys when they took off on the boat?"

"James!" I continued wildly. "James, was he attacked?"

"No," Marlene shook her head slowly. "You might have been hallucinating. You hit your head really hard...James is fine."

"I just-wait, what? You know what happened?" I looked at her suspiciously. Had she found out about Remus's...condition?

She looked at me oddly.

"Of course I do-they got bored at the party and went down to the sea, and duplicated a boat. And you snuck on somehow-and when they got to some island the charm on the boat wore off, and no one had their wands, of course, smooth move, by the way-" she continued to talk, but I blocked her out, trying to sort out the facts in my head. My hand crept to my pocket, where I felt the familiar bulge of my wand. A memory flew through my head-just before I had gone unconscious, Mr. Potter had found my wand. And-someone must have told Marlene a cover up story. She didn't know Remus was a werewolf-but it seemed James's parents did.

"-and that's how you got so beat up," she finished, looking at me for confirmation.

"Oh-yes, exactly," I nodded my head fervently. "That's it. So-it's the next day, isn't it?"

She shook her head. "They brought you back two days ago-you slept all through yesterday," she told me.

"Wow," I breathed. "I'm glad I still have my foot."

"What do you mean, still have your foot?" Marlene crinkled her nose.

"Well see, in the muggle world, if you hurt one of your limbs and it gets too badly infected, you cut it off."

"Why ever would they want to do that?" Marlene gasped in horror.

"Beats me," I laughed. "Where is everyone else?"

"Eating at the neighbors', I suppose-it's lunchtime," she informed me, grabbing my hand. "You well enough to eat?"

"Yes! I need to eat now please," I pleaded. Ever since I had woken up, the pangs of hunger had begun to set in-slowly at first, but now they were ravaging my stomach, and it was growling like an angry bear.

"Alright, let's go," she laughed at the absurd noises my stomach was making.

We left the house, beginning to walk down the road, and I was reminded horribly of that night when I so foolishly followed the Marauders. I shuddered involuntarily before my eyes followed to where Marlene was pointing-

"That's where they're all eating. Remember that girl the boys were making eyes at when we first came? That's her house," she rolled her eyes at me knowingly. "James really likes her, if you catch my drift." I was caught off-guard.

"I thought he was madly in love with me!" I said, almost a bit petulantly.

"He's pretty angry with you for following them, he was going on about you not trusting him, all that bull," she rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, okay," I said faintly, following her in as she pushed open the door.

"Lily!" There was a swarm of chairs scraping and voices exclaiming.

"Oh, thank Merlin you're alright!" Mrs. Potter wrapped me in a hug, pulling aside my dark red hair to check the base of my scalp.

"How does it look, Mrs. Potter?" I asked, a bit hesitant to hear the verdict.

"Oh, please, call me Daisy, everyone does. And it looks fine, and so does your foot, I presume." I realized with a start all the remaining pain from my foot has completely vanished. I nodded, smiling at her gratefully.

"You gave us quite a scare," Natalie, Marlene's mum came up to me, hugging me as well. "And this is Antiope and Giorgis, Agatha's parents-you'll meet her later, she's about your age-she's with James and Sirius."

I didn't see Sirius, James, or the girl we had seen on our first day, but Remus was sitting with the two dads, and what must have been the girl's parents, ashen-faced.

"Lily!" he jumped up nervously. "Can I talk to you?" He was twisting his hands together nervously, looking guiltier than I'd seen anyone. He wouldn't meet my eyes.

Daisy Potter looked at him sympathetically, whispering quietly- "It's not your fault, dear." he nodded curtly, following me out.

"Remus what-" I began as we crossed the road.

"Lily, I am so sorry," he started, eyes full of anguish.

"Remus, what are you sorry for?" I cried.

That seemed to catch him off guard, but not for long. "Everything! I could have-I could have killed you, or made you like...like me, had James's parents not interfered, " he continued quietly.

"It was my fault, Remus, and I know that," I put my hands on his broad shoulders, looking up at him under the shade of a palm tree across the road on a mule path. "And no one else's. I shouldn't have followed you, and shouldn't have-I just-it wasn't you, okay, Remus? It was all me!" I struggled to assure him-I couldn't seem to find the right words. "Why are you so convinced it's your fault? I know you didn't ask to be bitten..." I tried to catch his eyes, but he wouldn't meet them.

"We're friends, Remus, aren't we?" I asked him softly. "And I'm no worse for any of it-why do you feel so retched?" He finally caught my eyes, his being deeper brown on the inside, lightening into a warmer brown around the edges. He had a small scar at the inside of his right eyebrow-and several more small ones across his face.

"Yes, we're friends, Lily," he assured me. "But-" he stopped himself.

"But...what?" I prodded.

"I know-that it can't ever...be anything," he said haltingly, like every word was causing him pain. "But, Lily, I want you to know-"

Before I could react he stepped forward and kissed me softly, taking my face into his hands, just for a second, then pulling away. I stared at him, shocked, hands shaking slightly and heart pounding furiously. It was long enough to know that - to realize that his kiss felt different than Marcus's almost kiss. Did I like Remus? In that way? He searched my eyes. I felt warmth rush from my head all the way to my toes.

"W-W-Why couldn't it be anything?" I stammered at him, surprised.

"Because-I am what I am," his voice broke. "And I'm not the right one for you, you'll see that some day, Lily, you will," he wavered. "James. I will not compete for you, Lily," he took a step back. "I'm sorry." He started to turn away, but I called after him.

"Wait! Remus! Stop!" I felt like my heart was breaking-

"Remus, no one should ever have to go through what you go through, just because of one bite," I stood close to him, looking up at his anguished eyes. "And more importantly, no one should have to lose what you have to lose, just because of that bite. Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"I shouldn't have told you even now," he said quietly. "It can't amount to anything, anyway, and will only cause more pain for both of us," his voice was almost inaudible. I stretched up and kissed him again, longer this time. He responded, lips warm, and I put my hands behind his neck, and he put his on my waist, as light as possible like he was afraid I would break. But still, he pulled away.

"Why do you keep doing that?" I asked him, hurt evident in my eyes.

"Think about it, Lily," Remus looked broken. "You're kissing me out of pity-not because you feel something for me."

I was stunned. "Remus, how could you-how can you think that?"

"Lily, can you honestly look at me? Look at me and tell me that you care about me?"

I opened my mouth, and was furious at myself that I couldn't find the words. He couldn't be right! Couldn't be!

"I-Remus, I-I just don't know," my insides twisted painfully.

"I know, Lily," he smiled bitterly, nodding as if he had already accepted his fate. "I'm not the right one for you, Lily, I'm not the right one for anyone."

"That's not true!" I cried. My eyes were wet-ashamed, I brush the tears away.

"Oh, Lily," he strode forward, cupping my cheek in his hand gently.

I sobbed, putting my face in my hands. Remus pulled me in, wrapping his arms around me and resting his chin on my head.

"We should get back in," Remus prodded gently once my sobs stopped. I didn't move, keeping my head buried against his chest.

"No. I don't think we should," my voice was muffled. Maybe if I wrapped my arms tighter around him, he would want to stay. I was afraid that if I let go once, he'll be gone forever.

"Lily," he took my arms away, but holding both my hands in both of his, holding them between us. "It's best this way."

I lowered my head

"And I will always be your friend, your brother," he promised. I nodded but didn't speak, afraid that if I did the tears would start again. I ran forward once more, pulling him into a quick, tight hug.

When we pulled away for the last time from our final embrace, walking in with our arms linked, neither of us saw James's tortured expression as he looks away from across the road, turning back to Agatha and Sirius.

"That was, without a question, the best meal I've ever had," Marlene sighed with contentment, leaning back in her hard wooden chair. I managed to keep my mouth shut all through lunch, save for the questions directed my way. I didn't look at Remus.

"_You're kissing me out of pity-not because you feel something for me_." Remus's voice floated through my head for the umpteenth time in the last twenty minutes. Remus had feelings for me. But I refused to think about that. Either way, we couldn't win.

If I told myself I did too and didn't tell him, a part of me, maybe the dominant part, would always be restless and never be content, wondering what could have happened. And of course, I couldn't tell him-not because he was a werewolf, not for any other reason except that he honestly would not be with me. But instead of feeling stubborn, I just felt-defeated. Was what he said true? Was I kissing him out of pity? Had I ever registered any feeling towards him before, besides sisterly love?

He would always be, without a doubt, my biggest what-if.

"Me, too. Antiope, truly delightful. Marlene, Lily, and Remus-why don't you both go off with Agatha and the boys while we adults talk?" Marlene's mum suggested.

It took us a while to locate them-we were still looking, and had been for almost five minutes when-

"Agatha is kind of a brat," Marlene whispered in my ear. "Just thought I'd let you know, she's used to getting what she wants."

"Ah," something in my heart lurched. "And...James likes her?"

"Yeah," she gave me a funny look.

"I think they're down there, by the water," Remus pointed down, talking over the conversations of those on the streets. As he passed, a mule brayed in his face-he jumped back in surprise, and the owner rapidly apologized in Greek, smiling.

"I'll see you both down there." Without looking back at us he jogged down, running along the longest dock and cannon-balling off the end, a high pitched scream sounding at the splash, deeper laughs following.

"What's up with him?" Marlene wondered, looking after him.

"What do you mean?" I didn't return her gaze.

"He seems...he seems a bit off."

"I don't know, don't look at me. I'm his friend, not his girlfriend," I told her a little bit too bitterly.

"What's this talk about a girlfriend?" Sirius shouted. He ducked under the water again, swimming closer to where we walked along the dock.

"James-stop! No splashing!" A girl, who I assumed was Agatha, squealed at James.

"Is that her?" I asked no one in particular.

"That's Aggie," Sirius winked at me. "Lovely lady."

"Yeah, well," Marlene muttered darkly. "Want to swim?" She turned to me. "Or maybe later..." she eyed Agatha darkly again.

"Mar-lene! Lily! Hello!" Someone shouted from the across the waters. We turned to see Katarine-from several nights ago, at the gathering before I followed Remus-waving from a small boat with nets over the side. Several older men pulled them up, and they were wriggling with masses of fat, silver fish.

"Hey, Kate!" Marlene shouted back, and I waved merrily.

"Agatha!" Marlene now addressed the girl who James is chasing in the water. "A-ga-tha!" she yelled slower this time, dragging her name out.

"What?" She stopped in the water, squinting her eyes and tilting her head. "You call me?"

"Don't you love her English?" James shouted merrily, and I rolled my eyes in annoyance.

"Come say hello to my friend, please," Marlene spoke slowly and clearly, but I had the feeling that Agatha could understand her perfectly fine.

"Hello to my friend, please," Agatha swam over, mocking Marlene's tone of voice as way of introduction.

"I'm Lily-"

"Oh!" She exclaimed, pulling herself onto the dock, water dripping off her tanned body."May I touch it?" She asked eagerly, looking at my hair.

"Excuse me?" I bristle, looking down at the shorter girl.

"Your hair! It's red!" She said in perfect English.

"It's just like yours, only a different color," I said a bit snappily to her.

"Oi, Lily!" James ducked under the water, reappearing again in front of us. "Why did you follow us two nights ago?" He demanded angrily.

"Really, James? Right now?" I asked him angrily, pulling my hair out of Agatha's slender, olive-toned fingers.

"Later works as well," he shrugged.

"See, Mum makes us do lots and lots of chores as well, because she thinks we'll get spoilt if we don't," Marlene explained later in the evening as we scrub the rocky floor, knees raw and red. All of us teens were down on our knees, scrubbing as if our life depended on it. Marlene's mum could be pretty intimidating when she wanted to be.

"Missed a spot, Lily," James commented, pointing to an area I was sure I scrubbed. That was the first time he'd talked to me since the swimming incident earlier that day.

"So now you're talking to me?" I asked quietly, hoping no one would hear but him.

"I talk to you, Lily," James reassured me, looking up with his glasses almost falling off the end of his nose. I laughed a bit to myself, pushing them back up. He looked at me in surprise, and I blushed, returning to my scrubbing, letting my hair cover my face.

"James?" I said quietly. He hadn't stopped looking at me oddly. "I never got the chance to say-thank you. For that night, I don't know what I would have done without you," I murmured. I didn't have to guard my words because Marlene, Sirius, and Remus were on the opposite end of the kitchen. "And I am sorry for following you. I didn't know..." I trailed off.

"Yeah," he looked down again, messy hair falling over his eyes. "You had me really worried."

"I was hallucinating toward the end, and right before I-blacked out, or whatever, I thought I saw Remus attack you," I confessed.

"Ah, that makes sense," understanding dawned in his eyes.

"What does?"

"When you were asleep the next day, you kept screaming," he grinned devilishly.

"Potter, why are you smiling like that?" I accused, eyes narrowed. "What was I screaming about?"

"Potter?" he cried "What happened to calling me James?"

"I save that for life-threatening situations only, sorry," I rolled my eyes, teasing. He lifted an eyebrow at me, creating such a funny expression that I had to laugh. "Fine," I caved, flicking soap suds at him. "I will call you James...sometimes," I laughed, dangling the sentence over his head like an apple and flicking a a piece of clump of bubbles at him. It stuck on the end of his nose, looking ridiculous. He shook it off, eyes wide, but a bit of it still remained.

"Lily," he said quietly.

"What?" I whispered, smiling.

"I'm going to have to get you for that!" he roared, standing up and filling his hands full of sudsy bubbles.

"Ahhh!" I screamed, darting up the staircase, through my room, and out to the tiny balcony outside.

"James Potter, you wouldn't!" I mock gasped as he came into view, laughing maniacally.

"'Fraid I would, love," for once, I grinned at the ridiculous nickname, and he took my hesitation as an advantage toward him. He flicks bubbles at my own nose and I laughed hysterically, dodging for his hands to try and steal his ammunition.

"Hey!" I shouted indignantly, straightening up as I receive the rest of the bubbles on my head as James easily evades my attack.

"Got you!" He laughed playfully, grabbing my waist and spinning, my hair flying out behind me as I laughed. We stopped spinning, both of us still grinning at each other like fools.

"You know, Lily," he said, a bit sadly now. "I saw you and Remus earlier."

"What?" I gasped. I was ashamed to admit it, but ever since James had spoken to me, telling me I'd missed a spot when scrubbing...Remus hadn't crossed my mind once.

"It was an accident! I swear!" He put his hands up. "Lily, I would never, ever try to see something like that on purpose," he said, his eyes wide. But they had hurt in them, too.

"What did you see?" I put my eyes down, looking out our feet, toes close together. He kept his hands on my waist.

"I saw you kiss Remus," he confessed. "Do you love him?" Something in his tone forced me to look up in his eyes.

"I love him as a brother, as a friend," I answered truthfully. "But not...not like that," I finished. And I realized-I really didn't love him. "I promise," I added softly. "Do you believe me?"

He nodded vigorously, glasses beginning to slip down his nose, but just a tiny bit.

"You know, Lily, I really am changing," he began hesitantly, waiting for my reaction.

I nodded slowly, and that seemed to be all he needed to go on.

"Just wait, Lily!" He practically jumped into the air, doing a tiny bit of a jig. "I'll be the non-arrogant, non toe-ragish bloke that you're happy to be friends with," he promised happily.

"James," I paused teasingly. "I think you're already that guy."

"Really?" He looked at me, hazel eyes wide, the sparse light from inside the house bringing out the golden flecks.

"Yes, really," I laughed.

"Only took you six and a half years," he rolled his eyes. "And now, Miss Evans, will you join me in the happy jig?"

"What's the happy jig? You're scaring me, James," I arched an eyebrow at him.

"I have been saving this for the day you admitted you didn't hate me!" He announced proudly.

"I _didn't _hate you!" I protested. "Although there were many times I would have happily turned you into a slug," I pointed out thoughtfully.

"All fond memories aside, it's time to do the jig," he told me solemnly.

"Alright," I grinned.

"And, a one, a two, a one two three go!" He took both of my hands, stepping back and pulling me back in, making up a nonsense-dance as we went along, both of us laughing hysterically at all of our fumbles and mis-steps.

Little did I know, that in less than a week, all of the happiness that I felt tonight and any other night would not make its reappearance for a long, long time.

_Six Days Later_

"I think that one looks like a blob of pudding, actually," I corrected Marlene. Both of us were lying on the sizzling rooftop of the house, staring up at the fluffy white clouds, trying to discover what they were.

"Every single one of them looks like a blob of pudding! Have some imagination!" She cried with indignation.

"Fine, fine. So it's a dragon breathing spoons instead of fire," I giggled, naming the first random phrase that comes to mind.

"That one kind of looks like Dumbeldore's beard, actually," she remarked thoughtfully.

"Every one of them looks like Dumbledore's beard, have some imagination, Marlene!" I mimicked in a high, nasally voice, sending us both into fits of laughter. Over the last almost-week, I didn't think a single day could have been spent a more pleasant way. The topic of Remus still hurt a bit when provoked, but we were back to normal-erm, almost. And the newfound friendship between James and I was actually withstanding the test of time-and pranks. Which I found as more of a source of amusement now than a constant plot to endlessly irritate me.

"Marlene? Lily? Are you girls out here?" Mr. Potter called from somewhere around the house.

"Up here! On the roof!" Marlene responded, sitting up. We crawled to the edge, scampering down the ladder and jumping to the ground.

"Erm-Lily, why don't you come inside?" He looked at me oddly, motioning for me to follow him.

"Lily, what have you done to make Dumbledore call?" Sirius asked from the kitchen table.

"It must have been something really horrible," James added with his mouth full of sandwich. I pushed his head down as I passed, following Marlene and Mr. Potter into the kitchen.

"Dumbledore didn't call, did he?" I asked, looking at him skeptically.

"Actually, he did," Mr. Potter looked completely baffled. "He said it's very urgent, and needs to see you at Hogwarts in his office immediately."

"Oh-erm-how will I get there?" I almost forgot to respond, I was too busy deciding which facial features James had inherited from his father.

"Floo, he said. "Usually it doesn't work inside the castle, but he's opened up a window for you-so we need to go quickly," he ushered me into the sitting room.

"Alright," I said, crinkling my nose. "See you all later!" I called, taking a handful of the powder James's dad handed me. Good-byes and mock threats of "come back alive"'s sounded, and with a last look around, taking in my friends and the house, I said as clearly as I could, stooping in the low fireplace-

"Professor Dumbledore's office, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry."

With a jolt and a bang I tumbled onto the floor of Hogwarts across the country, loosing my footing and tripping to the floor, noticing the drop in temperature immediately, and wished I had worn something other than shorts and a t-shirt.

"Professor Dumbledore!" I stood up, brushing the soot of my legs. "How are you doing?"

"I am quite well, Lily, despite the sinister things that seem to be brewing outside the walls of Hogwarts," he answered both sadly and mysteriously, stepping toward me. He was dressed as always-tall, pointed wizard hat covering his graying auburn hair, midnight-blue robes and spectacles covering his searching blue eyes.

"I suppose by now you are wondering why I called you here. Lemon drop?" He offered, switching topics as easily as shoes. "They are a muggle candy of which I am quite fond-you have heard of lemon drops, my dear, being muggle-born, presumably," he nodded to himself, looking pleased, as if being muggle-born was one of the highest regards in which one could be honored in.

"Yes, sir. And yes, I'll take one. And yes a third time, I am wondering why you called me here," I laughed a bit at the repetitiveness of my answer. He smiled at me sadly, like he knew something about me that I didn't.

"Keep your laugh, Lily, and hold on to beautiful happiness. One never knows how much one has until it is ripped most brutally away from them. That is why we must treasure every moment," he looked at me over his half-moon glasses.

"Sir, what's happening?" I asked. Surely nothing too serious. But then again, how many times could Dumbledore have possibly needed to see a student, personally, during the summer?

"I regret to be the one to do this, Lily, I really do," his eyes seemed to mourn for me. "But I must ask you a question. Would you, if given the option, give your life for thousands of others?"

"Yes," I said immediately, without hesitation.

"As I suspected. Very Gryffindor of you, Miss Evans."

"Thank you, sir," I was thoroughly confused.

"What if it was not your life you were being asked to give-but merely, a few years?"

"I'm afraid I don't understand the question, Professor."

"Oh, dear. I must stop with this...beating around the bush, they say," he pursed his lips grimly. "I must just get on with this painful subject," Dumbledore was looking years older, the lines on his face looking more shadowed in the lighting of his office. He looked at me across his desk, sitting forward in his chair.

"If I may have your absolute attention, Lily, what I am about to tell you is of the utmost importance."

"You have my attention, sir."

"Miss Evans, several weeks ago I was walking the streets of Diagon Alley, out on a personal errand. I was approached by a genuine seer. The name of this particular seer is Trelawney. This woman is thought by many to be a fraud...but let me assure you, if this seer were to predict that I would turn promptly into a yellow elephant and begin to tap dance, I would purchase a pair of tap shoes. Needless to say, this seer issued a prophecy. And the prophecy, Miss Evans, concerned you."

"M-me?" Something in the tone of his voice was more serious than I had ever heard it. Be brave, be brave... I thought to myself, bouncing my leg up and down, taking comfort in the familiar motion.

"Yes," he answered gravely. "Would you like to read it?"

"Yes, sir, please," I responded eagerly, sitting forward in my chair. Dumbledore nodded, slowly opening a drawer to the right of him. He removed a folded piece of parchment, the soft corners signalling that it had been opened, smoothed, and re-creased, many times, repeatedly. He handed it over the table and I took it with steady hands, bringing it to my side of the desk. I looked down at the folded parchment, wanting to tear it open in that very second, but also, at the same time, wanting to give it back to Dumbledore and say that there must be some mistake. Then I could go back to warm, sunny Greece, living happily and simply in my vacation with my friends. But that wasn't going to happen, I somehow knew.

I slowly opened the first fold. And another, and another, and another-and soon the parchment was laid bare, all of Dumbledore's swirly script open and visible for me to see.

_ Beware the rising Dark Lord_

_ His plans to attack Hogwarts can only be thwarted by one_

_ He will destroy Hogwarts, school of Witchcraft and Wizardry_

_ And everything that surrounds it_

_ Lives will be torn apart, thousands killed_

_ Destruction, flames...but for one witch, who_

_ Has the power to prevent it_

_ But her sacrifice to save will not be her life_

_ Lily Evans_

I re-folded it with shaking hands.

"I don't know what to make of this," I told him quietly.

"That is why I asked to see you, my dear Lily," he told me sadly. "Let's break this down together, shall we?"

I nodded numbly.

"The rising dark lord...can you hazard a guess to whom that may refer to?"

"Voldemort," I answered immediately. "Lord Voldemort."

"Correct. The next few lines are quite plain-he will destroy Hogwarts and much surrounding it-a mass murder, as you can see, as it speaks of in later lines by stating- "destruction...flames...thousands of lives lost..." he looked up at me and I met his eyes, digging my fingernails into the palms of my hand.

"And you, dear Lily, you, although we do not know why, are the only one who is able to prevent it." I half wanted to ask him if there was, perhaps, another Lily Evans.

"So-so I-how? When? Right now?" I stumble over my words.

"That is what I have been debating," he said in a low voice. "The prophecy speaks of sacrifice-to save thousands, Lily, there must be a sacrifice. Though it will not be your life, it will be great indeed. You may have heard prophecies are only as true as they are acted upon. However; this particular situation is double-layered. Voldemort will, no matter what, make the plan to kill. Wether you stop him or not-that's what's up to you."

"What must I do?" I steeled myself. This was really happening. I wiped my sweaty palms on my jeans. My heart was beating hard, and I could hear blood pounding, rushing in my ears. "I-I can't beat Voldemort."

"As the muggles say-if you can't beat them, go undercover to foil their plan from the inside."

I didn't bother to correct his expression.

"Lily Evans is going to disappear," he continued cryptically. "And another will take her place. Susanna Lazaraith. A distant cousin of Voldemort himself, on his mother's side. Indirect descendant of Salazar Slytherin." I shuddered at his words. Was he speaking of myself taking on another woman's identity?

"I still-how will this ever work?"

"As Voldemort despises anyone of less than pureblood heritage, you are impersonating a woman of pure blood. Age, twenty-five. With a few tweaks here and there, no one will question it, let me assure you."

"And-what about-me?" I asked in a strained voice.

"This is the sacrificial part, Miss Evans. We are going to stage your disappearance."

"Tonight?" I choked on the words. He shook his head, and I feel like a crushing weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

"Tomorrow."

And now I was bearing the weight of the sky again, and it was threatening to crush me.

"You will simply disappear, to the eyes of everyone else. Come to me-I will be waiting for you outside the McKinnon family's summer home, and we shall side-along apparate to Hogwarts at precisely one seventeen in the morning. There, we will alter your physical appearance to that of Susanna Lazaraith. Who is, coincidentally, not real. We are making a completely false identity for you. Lily, I almost cannot bear to ask this of you-but you must join the ranks of the Death Eaters."

"Death Eaters?" I repeated, eyes wide.

"You will not really be helping Voldemort, remember. You will grow close to him, and with the utmost precaution, you must do everything in your power to absolutely make certain that you are in his good graces, and he does not suspect you even a tiny bit. My powers, I assure you, will help you. They will guide you, and be with you at all times should you need them. Should anyone attempt Legimens, your story will be confirmed. When your story is questioned again and again, and you must speak for yourself, the answers will come. This is what I leave with you. I will not be leaving you completely, Miss Evans. Nothing will. Lily Evans will still exist-but like a blooming flower, will not open again until the time is right."

"I will have to become a Death Eater," I whispered, shocked. "A Death Eater," I repeated again. "Tomorrow. What will happen to me once I have completed the objective? How long will it take?" I stifled down hopes and wishes, steeling myself for the worst possible answer.

"A year or two, somewhere in that measure. And you will not die. Return to me when you are finished, yes? Return to me, and together, we will bring back Lily Evans."

I nodded slowly. "My parents-Marlene's parents, my friends-what will everyone think?"

"I cannot say, Lily," Dumbledore answered. "But if they were to know what sacrifices I am asking you to make, what you are so willing to give up for others-they would hold you in the highest regard, as I do." My eyes were completely dry, although they shouldn't have been. His weren't. Maybe I was numb to the shock. That must have been it-because otherwise, it would have been impossible to sit here, willingly discussing the destruction of my life. I would have to camouflage myself and pretend to be a Death Eater for years, perhaps, just to get onto Voldemort's good side. Then, destroy his plan, saving thousands of lives, if I succeeded.

"I have searched for any possible option, any minuscule possibility that I make take your place-but alas, Voldemore is prepared for me, and will recognize my power. He will not be expecting a disguised student," Dumbledore said in a regretful tone.

"Thousands of people," I reminded myself aloud, awed.

"When in despair, Miss Evans," Dumbledore locked eyes with me. "When in your darkest hour," he continued. "You must only remember those thousands. Let them light your way, and guard your soul. These years with the Death Eaters will not be the ruin of you, but merely a test of your strength. Remember happiness, and joy, and love, and light-and they will remember you. It may seem that they had fled, leaving you forever-but they are never gone, Lily. Never will they leave," he promised. I believed him. But that didn't make me dread my upcoming task any less.

"Until tomorrow, Lily," I stepped into the fireplace. "Until tomorrow, treasure every moment."

**A\N-Remus WAS actually fond of Lily-canon. ALSO, DON'T FLAME YET! I'M NOT GOING TO DESTROY THE WONDERFUL SERIES WE ALL CALL HARRY POTTER! TRUST ME, IT WILL ALL WORK OUT AND NOT END UP COMPLETELY AU.**

**-C**


	7. Chapter 7

**So sorry I didn't get the chance to respond to many of last chapter's reviews…I have been so busy.**

**Rest in peace, victims of the recent shooting.**

**Chapter 7: The Impossible Task**

_Take what you want, steal my pride, build me up or cut me down to size, shut me out but I'll just scream, I'm only one voice in a million, but you ain't takin' that from me! -Natasha Bedingfield "Strip Me"_

"What did Dumbledore want?" Marlene caught my arm as I stumbled through the fireplace, almost hitting my head as I stepped out.

"He just wanted to discuss my O.W.L scores with me," I blurted, saying the first thing that came into my mind.

Marlene's brow furrowed.

"From fifth year?" Sirius strode in, remarking suspiciously. "I am the champion of pranksters, Lily, and I know a cover-up story when I see one," he rested against the door frame, observing me with probing grey eyes.

"It's not a cover-up," I replied automatically.

"I heard Champion of Pranksters. Were you guys talking about me?" James strode in with Remus, a goofy smile plastered to his face. "Whoa, Lily, you look really pale," he remarked a second later.

"Yeah, I-Marlene, let's go, okay?" I turned to my best friend, suddenly dying to get out of questioning eyes.

"Okay," she looked at me oddly.

We walked along until we came to the shore, where we stopped only when solid land ended. We sat down at the end of a sun-bleached dock, dangling our feet over the foamy water.

"Okay, now what's the _real _reason Dumbledore went through the trouble of calling you in?" She looked at me knowingly. Oh, why had I forgotten to ask Dumbledore this particular detail of what to tell questioning friends?

"Seriously, it was to discuss my O.W.L scores," I assured her, cringing inwardly that this was presumably one of the last times I would be seeing her, and I was lying to her. But what other choice did I have? I couldn't exactly tell her the truth.

"Alright, if you don't want to tell me, that's fine," she looked away, a bit hurt.

"Marls, you're my best friend, okay? No-you're my sister. You won't ever forget that, will you?" I wrapped my arms around her and she looked at me, startled.

"What-where did that come from?" she asked, surprised.

"Nowhere. Everywhere. You know that, right?" I prompted.

"Yes, Silly-Lily, I know that," she laughed, returning the embrace. "The way you're talking makes it seem like you're going to leave or something," she laughed at the notion which, in her head, is completely absurd.

_Treasure every moment, _I heard Dumbledore's voice in the waves, in the breeze-everything. I closed my eyes, breathing in the salty sea air, letting the warm, fish-scented breeze rolling over my sun-tinged skin. The wind pulled teasingly at my hair, lifting up a single red curl, letting it dance in the air for a moment. I was going to miss this. I wished desperately that I could bring it all with me.

_The Next Night_

"Come in!" I hollered at the knock on our door, and Remus burst into our room.

"Hey, Remus," Marlene greeted him from her bed, where she was reading a thin paperback, feet propped up on several pillows. I echoed her softly, taking in his rugged appearance.

"D'you girls want to go on a boat ride with us?" he offered. "James and Sirius and me, I mean."

"I do. You, Marlene?" I turned my head.

"Yes, right behind you."

"Wait-I have to get-" I pulled my watch off of the small table by my bedside, quickly strapping it on.

"What do you need that for?" Remus questioned.

"It's always good to know the time," I replied automatically, and we thunder down the stairs. I counted each step-seventeen-and store up the memory, holding it close to my heart.

"Thank you so, so much for letting me come," I stopped on the way, poking my head around the sitting-room wall to the kitchens, looking at the table full of adults. "It's really beautiful here, and this has been an amazing summer."

"You're quite welcome, Lily," Marlene's mum beamed, and her dad winked heartily at me. Smiling, I retreated, following Marlene and Remus out into the night.

I checked my watch- 8:34 PM.

"These muggle boats are interesting things, aren't they?" Marlene whispered to Remus and me.

"What's interesting?" I whispered, Remus agreeing.

"They just-just look! Those motor things! Whoever thought of those!" She waved her hand wildly toward nothing and everything, and Remus and I laughed, the sound mingling with the talking and chuckling of the village. I didn't know for sure, but I thought Remus was a half-blood, which meant he must be, to some degree, at least-familiar with muggle means of transportation.

We made it down to the dock, jogging the rest of the way.

"It's about time!" Sirius exclaimed, and Remus hopped over the side. Sirius was sitting in the driver's seat, a scary thought, and James was waiting from the side, smiling at me. He helped Marlene up, who murmured a thank-you, and then turned to me. He offered me his hand and I took it, allowing him to help pull me up.

"Thanks, James," I told him. "Sirius isn't driving, is he?"

"Yes, I do believe he is. He's a damn good driver, I hear," Black referred to himself in third person.

"Ever driven a boat, Padfoot?" James grinned, rolling his eyes.

"I figured it's one of those learn 'em as you go," he waved his hand. "Besides, what's to run into out here?"

"Other boats, the docks..." Remus took a seat behind Sirius on the large speedboat, ticking off words on his fingers.

"Oh, stuff it, Moony," he smacked him lightly upside the head, which Remus responded to by barking at him playfully. The boys laughed hysterically, and I tried to restrain myself from laughing at the Animagus joke as Marlene looked at me, mystified. She was the only one who wouldn't understand it.

"Alright now all of you ladies," Sirius stood, finally giving control to Remus, who backed us out expertly. "Time to share our deepest, darkest secrets," he flew back onto the seat by James, crossing his legs and leaning forward eagerly.

"If you think that, you're even madder than I first thought," Marlene sat back, trailing her hand in the boat's wake.

"I'm injured," Sirius replied sarcastically, holding his heart.

"I have a question!" I spoke up. I knew this was risky-but no one would take it seriously. "What would all of you do if you knew that this was your last night with your friends?"

"I'd enlist their help to send an avalanche dung bomb in a howler to my mum," Sirius answered thoughtfully.

"Be serious," I chastised him.

"I am _always _Sirius."

"Why, Lily?" James asked.

"Just wondering," I answered a bit too quickly, dropping from his gaze.

"I'd spend my time with the people that I love," Remus spoke up from the wheel, grinning at me. "And then I'd pull the prank to end all pranks with James, Sirius, and Peter. Go out with a bang, they always say!" He gave a hearty laugh with the two aforementioned boys, and I could tell by the mischievous glint in their eyes they were all planning their last prank.

"You know what I'm going to do right before I die?" James said seriously. "I'm going to be laying on my death bed...then I'll say, "I buried my treasure under the..." he paused for effect, looking at all of us.

"Under the what?" I asked expectantly.

"Eiffel Tower," he beamed, and Remus roared with laughter.

"Brilliant!" Sirius crowed. "So a whole crowd of wizards will show up there with shovels, and the muggles will be completely baffled and it'll be on their news for days!"

"You're going to drive your relatives mad," Marlene sighed, looking back at the village that was growing smaller and smaller in the distance.

"I am already in the process of doing so," James nodded solemnly. "Now who wants fireworks?"

"James, the muggles!" Remus chided.

"Don't you think we've thought of that, dear Moony?" Sirius cried, jumping to his feet. "Those old muggles won't suspect a thing!" He grabbed his wand, colorful sparks shooting out from the tip as James directed his wand toward the muggles-he must have been putting up some sort of shield charm.

"There," he threw his wand, twisting, into the air, then caught it.

"What did you do?" I questioned. "Cover the sound and the light?"

"Correct, dear Lily," he winked.

"That was impressive," I admitted, turning my head up to Sirius's display. Soon, Remus and James were joining him, the boat floating, being rocked gently by the waves.

_Voldemort is nothing but a moldy wart! _One glittering red phrase read, and Marlene and I laughed joyfully as we laid back to read them. It exploded into smoke, and the boys began to send up streams of abstract light and sparks. Then, Sirius began in green script-

_Sirius Black is a sexy, clever GUINEA PIG._

The last part was added by yours truly.

"Guinea pig?!" he shouted, spinning around to find the culprit like a dog catching his tale. "Lily!" He growled, catching sight of the smoldering tip of my wand. "Though I would make a nice-looking guinea pig, wouldn't I?" He pondered thoughtfully.

_Mr._ _James Potter would like to know if Miss Lily Evans will accompany him somewhere date-like, tomorrow evening, _James finished with a flourish, adding a animated winking face at the end, complete with glasses.

I sighed to Marlene, who was laughing at James's antics.

_Miss Evans would like to remind Mr. Potter that they are on a friendship basis now, and part of that whole scenario was you not asking me out repeatedly, James! _I added a flower at the end of James's last disappearing statement, and it smoked out into the sky.

"Lily, are we forgetting something?" He turned to me, promptly dodging out of the contest Sirius and Remus had engaged themselves into-a fling your opposite into the water contest, it seemed.

"What are we forgetting, James?" I asked teasingly as he came to kneel by my seat. I tried not to let the mournful expression I was feeling take over my face. I didn't know what I would have _honestly _said to James if I would have_ had _tomorrow to be here. If I wasn't going to have to leave Lily Evans behind for years.

"We're forgetting that I have only asked you out once this whole summer so far!" He finished proudly. "Or rather, you are the only one forgetting, I do believe."

"Summer's only been going on a few weeks, James," I rolled my eyes, flicking the end of his nose.

"You'll say yes someday, Lily," he promised, winking and standing to grab Sirius into a headlock. I shook my head, laughing with Marlene as the boat rocks.

"They're all going to end up going overboard," I observed to her.

"Probably we will, too. And, that was the closest you've come to saying yes to James," she noticed playfully, nudging my arm.

"How _is _dear Sirius, Marlene?" I returned playfully, mischief dancing in my eyes.

"He's lovely, thank you very much," she rolled her eyes at me. I checked my watch again-it was after nine. Which means I get-four hours of sleep, I groaned internally. But I was not going to sleep now. I was going to spend every last moment with my friends.

And I did. But hours slipped away, and sooner or later we all ended up in the water, splashing and screaming playfully. And when we went in at midnight, I honestly believed I would snap my own wand for even one more moment.

But I couldn't. I was about to break off my relationships with all of these people.

A thousand lives, a thousand lives, it's all for those thousand lives, I thought to myself as we dock the boat. I don't even notice the cold.

"Well, that was fun!" James stretched and yawned, jumping out onto the dock.

"Yes, Prongs, it was," Remus followed him, and so did Sirius. "And now I am exhausted," he yawned as well, so widely it looked like he could have swallowed a dinner plate whole.

"Oi, Moony, you trying to bite my head off?" Sirius yelped, turning around right at the height of Remus's yawn.

"I don't think you'd taste very good, Padfoot," Remus punched his shoulder playfully.

All of my last moments were gone-slipping away like the sands of an hourglass. All the lights were off in the village, and we practically tiptoed to Marlene's house, entering as quietly as we could.

"Wait!" I whisper-yelled, stopping everyone before they dispersed into their various bedrooms.

"Night, Remus," I hugged the nearest person to me, kissing him swiftly on the cheek. "Never be ashamed of who you are," I whispered into his ear, quiet enough so that no one else could hear. He returned the embrace, looking shocked. I pulled away, moving onto Sirius.

"Do I get a hug?" He opened his arms, grinning devilishly.

"Everyone does." I stepped forward, kissing Sirius's cheek as well. "And you, keep the smile on everyone's face, yeah?"

"You going somewhere, Lily?" There was no trace of teasing in Sirius's voice as he held me at arm's length, inspecting my face.

"No," I lowered my eyes. "Good night, James," I stepped away from Sirius and hugged James fiercely. I was going to miss our new friendship. I felt my heart knock against my ribcage as I brushed my lips against his cheek, whispering in his ear- "You _have _changed, James. I'm glad we're friends," and I stepped away, leaving them all looking at me, shocked.

"I think Lily is overtired, we'll see you all in the morning," Marlene grabbed my arm, linking it in hers. We left the Marauders staring after us, baffled. My last look at them all.

"What was that?" Marlene whispered as she closed the door softly.

"What?" I finger-combed my still damp hair.

"Sirius is right, You're acting like you're going somewhere," she glanced at me suspiciously, and almost reluctantly went into the closet for nightclothes like she was afraid I'd disappear if she left me alone for even a second.

"I'll be right here when you wake up," I said softly, pulling off my slightly wet clothes and hanging them from the window.

After Marlene turned off the light, I set my watch for one fifteen. A little over an hour from now. I put the alarm on its quietest setting and tucked it into my pillow, glad that Marlene was a heavy sleeper.

"Good night, Marlene," I whispered into the dark. I pulled up the quilt over my body-she didn't realize that I changed into regular clothes, not pajamas. "Thanks for being my best friend."

I closed my eyes, mentally remembering where in the room my cloak was so I could just grab it and go. But I couldn't sleep. I tossed and turned, running over everyone's last words in my head. I shot up into a sitting position, remembering one last goodbye-my parents. In the light of the crescent moon outside, I pulled out a piece of parchment and a quill from the small table next to my bed.

I stared at it for almost five minutes. What was I to write? See you in a couple of years, _maybe?_

I finally settled for the briefest of all messages.

_Mum and Dad-I love you. Thank you for everything._

_Petunia-I love you. I hope you're happy with Vernon. Remember that being different is not always bad._

_ Lily_

I sent it off with Maverick, who was completely quiet, as if he knew just how important his silence was. I fed him one last treat, stroking his neck, and watched him disappear into the sky for the last time. I fell into a brief, restless sleep, re-living my visit to Dumbledore, and his last words coming back to haunt me-_treasure every moment._ I desperately hoped I had done so, wished that I had left everyone with the best possible memory of me. Because once I returned, no one would ever look at me the same way again-I knew that. I knew that I would have no friends once I came back. No one would trust me. There's that girl that disappeared for years, they would whisper as I passed them on the streets.

_Susanne Lazaraith, _something whispered into my mind. My new name.

All to soon, I was jolted from my nightmarish sleep by the beeping of my alarm-I fumbled for it under my pillow, quickly pressing the off button. The sheets were tangled tightly around my legs, and I was close to falling off the edge of the bed.

I left the watch on my bed with the sinking feeling that I had forgotten to tell someone something. I was forgetting something-that was what I had dreamed about, at least partially. But all I had was a feeling to go on.

I looked to Marlene, who didn't wake, only mumbled something in her sleep, turning over to face the wall.

"Bye," I whispered one last time, retrieving my cloak and tying it tightly at my neck, slipping my wand into the secret inside pocket.

And I glided silently down the stairs, and out the door. I sat on the front steps as if guarding the house.

At what I assumed was exactly one seventeen, a barely audible popping sound echoed slightly, and in front of me stood Dumbledore. Neither of us said a word as I strode forward, taking the offered arm. I looked back at the house desperately, my face streaked with tear trails. I _was _forgetting something-James. I had to tell him more, tell him what he had come to mean to me now that-

The last thought was ripped from my mind as I was torn from Greece.

"Welcome to Hogwarts, Miss Evans," Dumbledore stepped into his office. This time he had a full length, gilded mirror in the middle of the floor.

"Th-thank you, Professor," I took in a shuddering breath. "Sorry-I just-" I took a deep breath. I had accepted this long ago. I was willing to do it. I shook myself, gaining back my control. "I'm fine now."

"Are you ready to change your physical appearance?" He asked me, taking out his wand into his hand. "It will not hurt, but if we do it now, it will give you more time to adjust as we speak," he promised.

"Alright," I nodded. Best to get it over with fast.

"Would you like to see the transformation?" He stepped over, signaling to the mirror.

"Yes, please."

"I thought you would." I walked slowly to the mirror. I took in my appearance hungrily-even all my flaws. My too-tallness, the freckles across my whole face that disrupted my complexion, my too-pale skin-I took in all my flaws, saving the memory. They made me who I was, and now they were being taken. Along with my dark red hair curling down past the midway point on my back, my intense, almond-shaped green eyes, my figure. They would all be gone. I said goodbye to my awkward sort of almost-prettiness.

"I'm ready," I nodded to him.

"Alright."

He began to wave his wand, and a faint, lavender mist spilled forth. He began at my legs, were a not unpleasant tingling-numbness began. I refused to look-I just kept looking at my eyes, holding on to the vivid color until the last minute. I said goodbye to my features. I blinked when he got to my face-I could feel my bones shifting, changing-when I opened my eyes, I jumped back, startled-Dumbledore was done.

"It may feel odd for a while, adjusting to a new weight and height, a new center of gravity," Dumbledore began sympathetically. "Very few ever come to know that their constant in an ever changing life, the one thing they can control, to whatever extent, is themselves. When your soul ages, your body does along with it. But this physical alteration," he shook his head. "Will not alter _you, _Lily," I startled at his use of my name. It didn't feel right, him calling this body 'Lily.'

"You will still be the incredibly strong, brave, smart, self-sacrificing woman that everyone around you knows," he assured me gently. "Try speaking."

"What should I-" I stopped myself. The voice was not my own. It was lower, and more commanding-richer in tone, but venom concealed under the surface.

"I sound evil," I whispered in shame.

"You are anything but evil, Lily, let me be the first to assure you. This body, this voice, does not reflect who you are."

"Did you make it? You said Susanna Lazaraith didn't really exist."

"Well, to some extent. Susanna was a stillborn child of a long deceased pureblood couple on Voldemort's mother's side. Your story is that you were married and widowed, but you keep your husbands name. Your maiden name was Gaunt."

I shuddered just at the word. I didn't understand completely how this was going to work, but I fully trusted Dumbledore that it would.

"Won't Voldemort know his cousin was stillborn?"

"No. Voldemort knows next to nothing about his own family. He was born and raised in an orphanage, and then only knew Hogwarts until he was eighteen."

I nodded, twisting around and looking at myself in the mirror. I was incredibly bony, and not attractively, although my facial features might be considered beautiful if they weren't stretched so tightly over my small bones. I had blond-almost white-hair, curled tightly down to my shoulders, spun into an elaborate up-do. Dumbledore had even changed my dressing-elaborate, black and dark green robes. I was taller than I had been, which was saying something. But-my eyes.

"My eyes," I thought aloud, splaying my bony fingers from my temple to my cheekbone. They don't look-well, they don't look very evil." They were hazel, like James's, but not nearly as pretty. They were yellowish blue with flecks of brown. Not even close to James's soft, honey-brown with sharp green spots.

"Of course not. The eyes reflect to what is within. You are not hardened by years of evil, therefore, your eyes look-well, excepting the obvious physical change, very much like Lily Evan's in expression. But not to worry-none will notice that," he assured me. "And now-this address is for you."

He withdrew a card from his robes, extending it to me.

522912 Exigo St. England.

"What is it?" I cringed at the sound of my own voice.

"This is where you must go. The house is invisible to muggles, slightly off of a neighborhood in the hills surrounding. The Death Eaters there-appeal to them. Let them know you wish to join their ranks. I cannot help you after that, Lily, you will be on your own. You must your own wit and cunning to outsmart them. Oh-and one last thing-may I see your wand?"

"My wand?" I repeated shakily. Was he going to replace it?

"Yes. I will merely be altering the appearance, do not fear."

I stepped forward, immediately stumbling-he rushed forward, offering me his arm with surprising speed and strength for a man of his age.

"Thank you," I murmured. "I must just be-adjusting." He nodded.

Think, I told myself. I was lighter, that I was sure of. I had put too much force into taking the step forward, and had actually bent over backward the slightest bit, not used to my new height, either. I tried again, consciously altering the force in which I put into my step. It was like wearing a new pair of shoes, but on a much larger scale-nothing was the same.

"Will I-" I stopped myself. _Ever look the same again? _I wanted to scream. But I couldn't bring myself to do it-I couldn't bear to hear that I wouldn't. I couldn't stand the thought.

"Will you?" Dumbledore probed.

"Nothing," I muttered as he returned my wand. It was blacker now, longer-completely plain, although if I closed my eyes, it still had the same _feel- _the same type of power as my old wand did.

I let the card with the address drift to the floor. "Accio," I spoke to it, and it zoomed up into my hand.

"It is still suited to you. Neither of your internal properties have changed," he reminded me. I felt much fonder toward my wand after that-it was the only thing that remained of my past life-and it was the only thing in the world that understood how I felt, with this huge change. Even though I knew it didn't _really _understand.

"Whenever you're ready, you may apparate. The opening from when I retrieved you is still usable," he told me gently.

I nodded slowly. "I'm ready."

"Goodbye, Miss Lily Evans. We will meet again someday, I am sure of it. And the circumstances will be much more pleasant, I assure you." he grasped my hand in both of his, looking into my eyes.

"Stay strong, Lily. I believe in you," he released my hand, and cold air closed in when his hands left.

"Goodbye, Professor," I struggled to keep my expression neutral. "I'll see you again..." I let my sentence dangle. What to say?

I took one last, sweeping glance along the office. My last glimpse of Hogwarts. I muttered the address under my breath.

And with a crack, I was gone.

I opened my eyes, shaking off the slight feeling of nausea that accompanied apparating.

The cobblestone streets behind me a ways were lined with tall, menacing houses and streetlights that only succeeded in making the shadows look darker. Instead of being uncomfortable alone, at night, and in an unfamiliar place, I steeled myself, telling myself-that fear was not an emotion Susanna would have paired with a dark street. I stepped forward, looking up into the house in which I had appeared in front of. It was darker than the rest of the houses behind it, and completely silent. It was a ways off from the street containing other houses, and it was probably guarded against muggles. The windows were so tightly boarded up that I couldn't tell if there was any light struggling to peak through. I remembered Dumbledore's last words, and strode to the door. I hesitated-would a wanna-be Death Eater knock, or barge in?

Hm...perhaps the barging in would come later, when I was more sure of my rank.

I knocked loudly, soundly, the noise echoing down the otherwise lifeless street. I waited ten seconds, thirty, fifty-

"Get in!" A pale hand reached out, pulling me in by the front of my robes. "Who are you?" A wild-eyed young woman of about nineteen years pulled me in. She yanked me down until our noses were practically touching-she had a wild, maniacal gleam in her black eyes, and her sickly pale skin contrasted wildly with her dark, unruly mop of snarly corkscrew hair. Bellatrix Black-I recognized her from Hogwarts, she was a few years older than me. "How did you get this address?" The house behind her was dark, and all too eerily silent. Strange thumping noises were coming from upstairs, and I got the distinct impression that more than one pair of eyes were watching me, unseen. My blood ran cold. There was evil in this house. Maybe even Voldemort himself.

"What is your blood status?" The woman hissed. Something in my brain seized up and I answered of my own accord, my voice running smooth like water over a knife.

"Pureblood." The woman looked startled at the sudden power my voice contained. "My maiden name is Gaunt," I continued with confidence. "And I wish to serve your lord." Bellatrix's eyes widened, thin lips pulling back to reveal crooked teeth in a crazed smile.

"Andddd, how do I know you're not a liar? One of Dumbledore's cronies, sent to spy?" She hissed, breathing right in my face.

"Get your best Legimens," I hissed in her face. "Go! Now!" I clenched my fists, feeling a power that was not my own. Susanna's.

"I will," she stepped back, gliding backwards, joining with the shadows, the sneering paleness of her face the last thing to vanish from my sight. I stood uncomfortably, not sure what exactly to do. I didn't have to wonder long.

"Hello, skinny," a big, blonde man sneered at me. He was quite right about the skinny part-this body could have belonged to an anorexic.

"Hello, ugly," I snapped back. He only chuckled in reply.

"So you want to join the Death Eaters, do you?" He spat on the ground. Resisting the urge to be sarcastic, I replied curtly.

"Yes."

"Who is it that disrupts our gathering, Larkus?" My breath caught in my throat, which constricted dangerously. This was Voldemort. He would have been handsome-he had black hair and chiseled features, but something about his appearance was off-if the light shone in his dark eyes just so, they glinted red. And the sharp lines of his face looked blurred and smudged when he moved, gliding forward.

"Who gave you the address to this place?" He asked softly. I wracked my brains, trying to think-several other Death Eaters melted out of the shadows, leering and closing in menacingly-

"Answer me! Crucio!" He screamed.

Pain enveloped me. Words could not describe it. A red haze filled my vision-every one of my joints were on fire-a thousand knifes were slashing from the inside of my body, furiously attempting to free themselves-

And it stopped, as suddenly as it started. I hadn't realized it, but I had fallen to my knees and was panting furiously, gasping for air. The other Death Eaters were staring, leering-they knew what I was going through, yet did not sympathize. Instead, they revelled in my pain, glad it was not them.

"I overheard it," I struggled shakily to my feet, furious that I had let myself show weakness, but I was still trembling with the aftereffects of the Cruciatus Curse. But I wasn't about to keel over now-my willpower was stronger than that, although my body wasn't. Somehow, I managed to stay upright. "I overheard it in a pub."

Voldemort didn't answer. He held up a hand, and the room went deathly still. His eyes caught mine, burning into me, reading my mind, my soul-

"Interesting," he said softly, venom concealed in the smoothness of his voice. One slip up, and this man-no, he couldn't be called that- this _creature _would not hesitate to torture and kill me.

"This is true," he almost hissed. "And your magical power-very strong. But of course-you are a descendant of Salazar Slytherin himself, are you not?" He almost seemed to be mocking me. I didn't know how he already knew all of that, just from a few moments of Legimens. But everything Dumbledore had said so far was proving true.

"I am," I boldly confirmed. My head was aching, like my skull was being bashed in over and over. But I thought of the thousand lives that this was all for-and I thought of James.

**ATTENTION, PLEASE!**

**Would any of you like to read the first few chapters of my latest story I've been working on?**

**I have a question about it that I can't really answer clearly myself since I myself wrote it.**

**If you're interested, please PM me.**

**Thanks, and Happy Holidays!**

**-C**


	8. Chapter 8

**Merry late Christmas, everyone! I haven't been on my account much lately so I apologize if I haven't responded to your review or if you PM'd me and I haven't gotten back to you, I currently need to respond to 24 people. Thanks for sticking with me.**

**Chapter 8 Darkness**

_Everybody's got a dark side-can you love me, can you love mine? Nobody's picture perfect...but we're worth it... -Kelly Clarson "Dark Side"_

"Well," Voldemort continued quietly. "What is your name?"

"Susanna Lazaraith. I am widowed," the words flowed through me again, not of my own accord. I shivered and clung to the feeling of Dumbledore's power, the purest thing in this room. But then it disappeared, and I was on my own again. Until the next question.

"And you wish to become a Death Eater?"

"I do."

"Well, your request is denied!" He laughed a horrible, grating, hissing laugh. Bellatrix joined in as well, her high cackle mingling with his. The other Death Eaters joined in as well, eyeing me hungrily.

"SILENCE!" He roared, and the laughing stopped on a dime, his followers flinching. "You must prove yourself first, Susanna," the soft voice was back. He hadn't moved from his original position on the second step of the stairs, one hand on the banister. Somehow, this lack of movement seemed inhuman.

"How, my lord?" I struggled to keep my voice from cracking on the last bit. He was not a lord. He was a piece of scum. I tried to keep the open disgust from manifesting on my face, keeping my emotions in check; a Slytherin trait, something I would have to play the part of. I thought of Snape, and my heart hurt at what he would think of me, at the dark road he was straying down, the one that would lead him, completely willingly, to here. But that was his choice.

"This is one of our bases," he spread his hands. "Stay here. Leave your life behind. _Serve me," _he hissed the last two words, the sound bouncing around the room, crawling into the darkest cobwebbed corners, slithering behind cracks and into the walls, remaining even when it was silent.

So serve I did. For a whole week.

I knocked on the door brazenly, still holding onto the thought that if I did not keep a tight hold on my sanity, I would lose it. And small exercises like standing up to Voldemort in the miniscule ways that I could-like not letting him cow me-helped.

"Come in, Susanna," I shuddered at the name inwardly as I always did. I always thought of it as "the" name, not "my" name. I refused to lose anything that I didn't have to. Anything that kept me tied to Lily. It was near nighttime now-I had survived my first week.

"You have a visitor, my lord."

"Who is it?"

"Avery. He is reporting back from the mission."

"Let him in," he demanded, and I beckoned to the older man down the hall. His fingers brushed against my arm on the way into the completely dark room and I had to physically restrain myself from biting his hand off. I didn't want _any _of their filthy fingers on me. I began to close the door behind me-

"Wait." I stopped, still at his voice, held frozen at the door frame.

"I need you to run to Borgin and Burke's, Susanna. I need you to get something for me."

"Anything, my lord." I bowed deeply, screaming obscenities at him in my mind.

"Good. They will have it prepared. You will not open the package under any circumstances, no matter how tempted you are to opening it. Ask for it under the name Theodore Grant. Now go."

I had to hold in my excited shriek, and I rushed out of the dark house as fast as I could, taking in deep gulps of fresh air that hadn't been polluted by Voldemort or any of his followers.

This was the first time I had been allowed out in the week I had gotten here-I was going to savor every second of it. I forced one foot in front of the other down the hills until my feet met cobblestone, taking special care not to burst off running.

I began to walk down the road with purpose, holding myself tall. The second triumph of the task was that this was the most important assignment Voldemort had entrusted to me; I was making progress. Even some of the other Death Eaters were not looking at me like a piece of meat to be picked apart anymore.

Which, I guess, if you didn't think about it, was odd. Only a week? Some would scoff. Others, who knew better, would understand that few made it that far in the first place.

But it did not come without a price. With every day resisting their darkness, their evilness, I felt myself sinking as if into a depression.

I would have to adopt a new tactic if I valued my sanity-which I completely did. For the umpteenth time, I wondered what my friends and family would say if they saw my circumstance now. I wondered what they thought had happened to me. With this thought in my head, I apparated.

I ended up directly in the Leaky Cauldron. I headed immediately to the back, ignoring whispers and the people that parted before me. No doubt talk had already spread. They knew that I was one of _them. _One of Voldemort's followers, if not a Death Eater herself.

A small toddler strayed into my path, looking up at me with wide blue eyes.

"Hi," I smiled down at her as kindly as I could. Would the little girl see the good in me, or would she only sense the evil look that Susanna possessed? A ghost of a smile traced her lips, and she looked to be readying to respond before-

"Ellee, don't talk to strangers, what has Mommy told you about that? Come on, let's go-" the woman that must have been her mother threw me a worried look over her shoulder before pulling her daughter away. Her daughter twisted around backward to look at me, closing and unclosing her fingers in a pitiful attempt at waving. I waved back before disappearing into the entrance of Diagon Alley. I tapped the correct bricks-if I closed my eyes, I could pretend I was myself again, merely stepping into Diagon Alley, just to go shopping.

I could pretend. The bricks revealed the street behind it, and I stepped forward into the bustling, cobbled walkway. I breathed in the candy scented air, and gazed longingly at shops like Ollivander's and Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour. I ginned to myself, imagining that Marlene was with me, and we were shopping for seventh year school supplies.

"Let's hit the ice cream first, and _then _shop-no, scratch that-we'll get ice cream at the beginning _and _the end, yeah?" That's what Marlene would have said. I could almost hear her now. I was floating along, trying to move fast but at the same time take everything in, when I saw it.

_MISSING WITCH!_

_Lily Evan, last seen in Kalokeridemos, Greece in early July with the Potter and the Mckinnon families. Foul play is suspected. Please alert any of the Floo locations below if spotted!_

Below were my parents' phone number, and several floo locations including the ministry of magic. There was also a large picture of me-not Susanna, but me-in the middle, smiling up at the camera, waving and laughing. That had been taken on one of the last days at Hogwarts. I remembered that day and a pang shot through my heart-I hadn't known it then, but that hadn't just been one of the last days of school for the year, but for life.

I continued walking, keeping my eyes set briskly ahead as I entered Knockturn Alley. I skirted around the edges of sharp corners, and a couple of men who looked like they were selling human eyeballs on a stick.

I entered what appeared to be the largest shop on the street per se Voldemort's instructions. Shouts and crazed laughs followed me inside, and as I stole a glance out the window I automatically did a double take-was that man _really _walking on his hands, making it look just as easy as if he were on his feet?

I shook my head of all the evil-oddness of the street that was so close in location, yet so different, than Diagon Alley.

I took special care not to wrinkle my nose in disgust at the various spiked metal objects ominously decorating the ceiling, the vials of poisons labeled and rated for how much pain they caused before death, the invisible flesh eating Bardells in a jar-"For Your Enemies" and the other, more gruesome and less mentionable items in the shop.

"May I help you?" A middle-aged man appeared from nowhere, and I jumped, biting my tongue instead of letting out my yelp of surprise.

"Yes. Erm-" I mentally shook myself. What self-respecting Death Eater would jump when startled, and then say something like "erm?"

"You have something for me," I blurted, trying to look menacing; I was afraid I was miserably failing. The man, who was probably either Borgin or Burke was looking down his hooked nose at me, a glint of malice in his dark eyes. His hair and clothes were scraggly, like cleaning faculties had not been available to him for quite some time. "Theodore Grant, actually."

At this, the man snapped to attention, color leaving his cheeks and looking around wildly.

"Theodore-is he here with you?"

"Obviously not!" I hissed, trying to imitate Bellatrix and her fanatic devotion. "Do you think the-the-_Theodore-_would stoop to such a low, retrieving his items _himself?!_" I stepped closer to him. Just acting, I thought. It's nothing more than one big play. And this is the opening night. "Do I need to relay that fact to "Theodore" himself, or can you get it to me now and let me be off?"

"I was merely wondering," the man said coolly, obviously not perturbed by my outburst. "You may look around while I retrieve it. It may be a few minutes."

"No thank you," I told him coolly. "I think I'll just stand."

He shrugged in a way that clearly stated that he couldn't care less. Walking off toward the back, I tried to keep my eyes focused on a spot above the checkout counter that was particularly dusty, but my eyes wandered.

"-sure we should have come down here?" A fearful voice came from the window, muffled by the wall. But the ancient door had not closed all the way, and that was all it took for the voice to travel through.

Marlene's voice.

"We've got to put them up everywhere, even down here!" That was James's voice.

"We'll put them up in Voldy's house itself if we've got to," the voice of Sirius said confidently. I admired his courage, making light of his name in a place like this. Not many people even spoke the name any more. It was too fear-inspiring.

But I would never consent to letting him hide behind the name _You-Know-Who._ I stood frozen so long, unable to move, that I missed Marlene's next retort. They were walking down the opposite end of the street, away from Borgin and Burke's.

In a spontaneous decision I bolted out of the shop, pulling to a halt right behind them. It was odd-they looked much shorter-I was the same height as tall James now. Sirius was also there, and Remus and Marlene. They all turned, one at a time, as they sensed a presence that was not their own. James was holding a textbook-thick stack of the "Missing" flyers.

It was so peculiar.

Seeing all of their eyes on me, with no spark of recognition...only suspicion.

"What are you kids doing in a place like this?" I asked in a scratchy voice.

"We would ask the same, but this is obviously _your _kind of place, isn't it?" Sirius stepped in front of the group, and shifting a bit so he was in front of Marlene…like he needed to protect her. In an awful, sickening moment, I was reminded of Vernon shielding Petunia from James the night he came to my house, and I was flooded with a powerful desire to let my cover slip.

But I could never do that. I bit my lip, restraining myself.

I ignored Sirius's jab. "What have you got there?"

"Missing flyers, what's it to you?" James ventured cockily, lifting his head up to talk to me even though we were close to the same height.

"That girl is missing, you say?" _It's me!_ I screamed in my head, wishing with all my might that he would hear.

"Yes, she is, do you know anything about her? Have you seen her?" Marlene stepped forward eagerly, and Remus shook his head warningly at her, barely enough to be seen. He had bags under his eyes, and I recalled that the full moon was approaching. That was one of the periodical things I did: checked the moon every night, calculated how long Remus had until the transformation. One of the oddly familiar tasks that kept me sane.

"I haven't," I felt terrible as Marlene's shoulders slumped dejectedly and she stepped back. "But if I knew her," I spoke up again, cautiously. I looked to James especially, locking eyes with him-I was risking this message for him. "If I knew her, and she had friends as good as you, I know she wouldn't want you to waste your lives waiting, if she wasn't coming back," my voice cracked. "She'd want you to live your lives, and not to be sad that she was gone, but not to forget about her."

"Um, yeah," Sirius said, but James was looking at me, searching my eyes-for a moment, a brief spark of hope re-lighted in me-did he know?

"Prongs, mate-" James didn't look away, and now all four were inspecting me, looking for something that James's body language was saying he was searching for. "That sounds just like something she would say," James muttered quickly under his breath to Remus.

"Are you sure you haven't seen her?" Remus stepped forward, looking at me with extreme suspicion.

"I'm sure," I nodded, stepping back and away. I could barely force myself to do it, but I had to, for their safety-I looked like Susanna, not Lily. I couldn't change back, ever. I would have to accept that. This short flame of light in my new darkness would only make it seem all the blacker when it flickered out.

I tore my gaze away, and it almost caused me physical pain as I disappeared back into the shop.

"That was really odd," I heard Marlene's voice whisper.

James's response was a garbled string of words that I didn't catch. The back of my eyes burned with tears that wanted to be shed, but I refused to let them come out. I walked back toward the center of the shop. My excuse for redirecting the impeding tears was to examine a particularly brutal looking torture device strapped to the ceiling.

In what felt like hours later, the man burst out of the back.

"I have what Theodore ordered," he coughed a hacking, wheezing sort of cough. "Here you go. He's paid in advance."

The package looked innocent enough, although it almost seemed to whisper to me as I carried it home. It was a wrapped square box, completely plain otherwise. I was often tempted to open it, but I knew I couldn't.

I walked out of the shop, looking curiously at the box.

_"Ooopennnn," _I shook my head. That box couldn't have just...talked, could it have?

I walked uneasily down Knockturn Alley, not thinking of anything but the box when-

"No, please, help!" A horrible screech came from down the road-either no one else seemed to hear it, or no one else cared. I scrambled down to where the voice was coming from, pushing people out of my way in the process.

Turning my head wildly, I didn't see anyone, but the screams continued. Finally, I seemed to have found the source: a boarded-up shop with a shabby, home-made sign advertising Portkeys on the top.

I ducked in the door, which promptly fell down, slamming onto the ground and releasing a cloud of dust. I jumped back, startled. All the door had been doing was propping itself up in the frame. It had not been attached at all.

"Hello?" I called out, drawing my wand. "Who's there?" I took another step into the darkness, lighting the tip of my wand. I heard muffled moans, and the sound of feet scrambling-I followed the sounds up a rickety staircase, up to the top of the shop-

"Expelliarmus!" I shouted before anyone else could react. Two wands flew into my hands, belonging to the men that were holding down an old man, who was looking at me pleadingly.

"Don't move!" The stockier of the two snarled. "Give us back our wands, now. Or he dies."

"Okay. I'm going to put them right here," I consented, preparing myself. I locked my eyes on both of them and the old, feeble-looking man that lay crumpled on the ground between them. He widened his eyes at me, looking like he was furiously trying to tell me something. I had my wand at the perfect angle now, if only I could distract him-

"So what's he done to you?" I asked in my most persuasive voice, crouching like I was about to set their wands down on the floor.

"What's it to you, girlie?" The taller, lankier one snarled. "If you must know, Old Randy here tried to cheat us. We had a deal, we says, and he don' get to ask questions," he spat on the ground. "He was to deliver the Portkeys and leave, 'cause we made our payment, we did."

"But he stayed at the door and listened, and heard what we were usin' 'em for!" The second man bellowed, outraged. "And then he refused to make 'em for us!" He shot a murderous look at the man between them, and I saw my opportunity.

"Petrificus Totalus!" I took out the man with the knife first and then got to the second before he could even shout out in surprise. They both clattered to the ground, stiff as boards.

"Are you alright?" I scrambled forward, helping him up. He didn't appear to be injured, except for a shallow, bloody scrape on his forehead and a black eye.

"Thank you," the man, Randy, moaned, standing up crookedly. "Not many people would'a done that, attacked them for me. 'Specially not here, in Knockturn Alley," he offered a smile.

"You're welcome. You sell Portkeys?" I helped him downstairs after retrieving my wand and levitating the two men behind me.

"Yes, and I owe you one," he said gruffly, looking at me with bright blue eyes, one of which looked blind. He was thin and would have been tall if he hadn't stood with a stoop. Stringy grey hair and shabby clothes made him look extremely poor, and I felt sorry for him.

"So, you refused to sell to them when you realized they were up to something bad?" I recounted as I levitated the men outside and down the road a ways. "They won't bother you again, d'you think, will they?"

"I've got my wand back now, I'm ready for them," he waved the long wand up at me in proof, then setting it back down on the table as he put a kettle of water on the stove. "And yes, that's what happened."

"What's a business man with morals doing, selling in Diagon Alley?" I took care in which chair I sat in, noticing that most of them looked rotten.

"Only place that has people with need of Portkeys, really," he said, sitting down across from me. "And I'm serious when I say I owe you one, Ms.-?"

"Ev-uh, Lazaraith," I blushed profusely at the slip-up. "But you can call me Susanna."

"Well, Susanna," the man smiled kindly at me. "Here," he handed me a card that he seemed to have produced out of thin air-

_**Randy Clarrbridge**_

_**715154 Knockturn Alley**_

_**Custom-made Portkeys, the best in Britain!**_

"Thank you," I pocketed it, sure that I would never use it.

"Would you stay for tea?" He asked, and suddenly I realized…I was on a schedule.

"Oh-no, I've got to go, sorry!" I stood up abruptly, searching wildly for the box that I had just realized I was no longer holding.

"Accio box," I muttered, and it came zooming into my hand from near the knocked-down door.

"Thank you again, Susanna, and do not hesitate to cash in the favor," he shook my hand, and I left quickly.

I hurriedly walked down the street, trying to ignore the hissing, whispering voice coming from the box. It couldn't be..._talking, _could it?

No, that would be insane, I decided, holding the box at arms' length as soon as I apparated onto the street of the safe house, not wanting it any closer to me than it already was. Something strange was inside that box.

_"Oppppen me!" _The whisperings became more feverish, more urgent as I approached. I flung the door open, hurrying to where Voldemort was last time I had seen him. The box's voice seemed to come from all sides, strange whispers that I could hear but couldn't understand-

"Enter, Susanna," came the voice after I knocked, but before I had even opened the door, or given any sign that it was me who stood on the outside of the door. Goose bumps erupted on my arms. The hallways seemed darker when I had entered, but I had yet to feel true darkness.

When I stepped inside the room Voldemort was in, the darkness seemed to swallow me whole. I looked around wildly, my eyes as wide as they could go as I tried to absorb any light that there could have been-I let go of the box with one hand, putting the other up in front of my face-I didn't even see an outline.

"Well done, Susanna," Voldemort's voice was right next to my ear. "Very obedient. You did not open the box," he observed, his voice changing position, like he was circling me. The way a vulture circled its prey. "If you had, you would have died a very painful death," he continued. "And then, of course, all of us would know you had not been fit to be a Death Eater!" he laughed cruelly, and I forced out a laugh with him.

"But of course, that is not the only test to reveal your...competence...for that position," he stopped laughing suddenly, removing the box from my hands. As soon as I stopped touching it, I realized just how strong the temptation to open it had actually been-it was full of strange power, that was certain. But it was dark power. Maybe that was why it had been so easy to resist-the test was designed for those who would have been more fascinated with the Dark Arts than I.

"Of course," I agreed softly. A soft hissing that I had originally thought had been the whispering of the box grew louder, hissing into my ears and filling them completely until I could concentrate on nothing else. I stifled a scream as a slithering body crawled over my toes. I trembled violently, every muscle in my screaming to kick up my feet and get the huge snake the hell off of me. That's what it must have been-a snake.

"No, Excipio," and the end of the snake finally passed my feet. He then continued speaking in a hissing, squirming sort of voice, the sound of it echoing around the room, making my skin crawl-what was worse, the snake was actually hissing back-like they were conversing.

I suddenly felt very cold.

"Susanna, I must ask you something," he continued, brushing against my shoulder as he continued to circle around me.

"Anything, my lord," I struggled to spit out the loathsome words.

"Why is it you desire to become a Death Eater?" he finally stopped circling. From what I could tell, he was right in front of me. I sensed it rather than saw it-my eyes were not adjusting to the dark. I suddenly had the terrible sensation that Excipio was not the only snake in the room.

"I wish to serve you, master, and to rid the world of all the filth you think is undesirable. Most of the wizarding world is full of their nonsense equality notions, and I fear you and your followers are one of the last sane groups that believe in the old ways," the words flowed out of my mouth, sweet as honey but as sharp as knives. That was Susanna's power coming through, and it would be mine if only I could harness it. Unfortunately, her voice would only sound like that when Dumbledore's prearranged magic words left my lips. It was odd speaking when that happened, like I was no more than a puppet.

"Very interesting," he said softly. "Where did you receive magical education?"

"Beauxbatons," I replied evenly.

"I thought as much...I did not remember you at Hogwarts," he hissed. "But you do not have a French accent."

"I have lived in London since I was seventeen. Eight years of Britain will impose upon you its own way of speaking."

"Interesting. So you will not mind, then-Legimens!" he whispered, and the hissing of the snakes got louder for a moment before fading away completely. I could tell he was sifting through memories, sorting; but they weren't _mine. _They were the ones Dumbledore had set up to be found, to prove my story correct.

Flashes of another wizarding school blew through my mind-different teachers, and different friends-friends with dark, mean faces-friends who joined their own dark groups after school was finished.

"I see," he said, finally, softly, as the visions stopped. "Interesting," he said again. "Why did you move to London?"

"Business," I answered coolly. "I met my husband there, and stayed until he died two years later."

"Touching," he said in a voice that clearly stated that it was not touching at all. "Any children?"

"I despise children," my voice flowed, especially loathsome.

"You may go," the door opened, and I almost had to squint my eyes as I left-suddenly the dark had become light.

I laid back-down on my bed, looking up out the crack in the boarded window. The house was much bigger than it appeared on the outside, and there were an ample amount of rooms for all of the Death Eaters. Not every single one, of course: this safe house was just for the closest of the Death Eaters, and those like me, who had yet to prove themselves.

The room that I was hesitant to call mine was almost completely bare-I had no personal belongings, save things like robes and a hairbrush. The small room was furnished with a rickety table, splintering chair, and cracked mirror, an iron framed bed with a mattress that rivaled the age of Dumbledore, and of course, the small window. But it didn't do much use as it was boarded up. However, there was a small crack that had been growing slightly bigger with a bit of help from yours truly.

It was close to the full moon now-the cycle would be complete within a few days. I closed my eyes, shivering against the thin quilt. Of all the food I had been feeding myself to fatten up bony Susanna's body, none of it seemed to be sticking. If anything, I looked more like a skeleton now than when I had first arrived. A skeleton with skin stretched over its frame.

For the umpteenth time, my mind was left to wonder aimlessly, and I entertained myself with thoughts of what my friends would say if they knew I was doing this. If they knew what I was sacrificing to save theirs-and thousands of others-lives. Because no doubt their lives would be in the grand total, with Hogwarts being Voldemort's main target.

_Lily,_ James would shake his head_. I always knew you would do something like that. But is there any way I can take your place?_ He would be totally serious when he said that. It was just something James would say. The truth of it brought tears to my eyes.

_Only I can do it, James_, I thought to him.

_Why are you crying, Lily_? Sirius would ask. _You're saving our lives, and so many others...just don't let the Death Eaters and their disgusting smell and disgusting EVERYTHING get to you, alright? We want our Lily back soon._

_Oh, Lily,_ Marlene would shake her head. _What in the world have you gotten yourself into this time? Just hang in there-we know you'll get out of it._

_You've got the going into it part over with, now there's just the rest. The worst is over, Lils_, Dorcas would assure me. By now, the tears were flowing. Remus, Alice, Emmy...Peter, my other friends...they would all say things like that.

And my family?

_Lily, I have told you from the start that you freaks are up to no good!_ Petunia's voice rang loud and clear in my mind. Well, as clear as my imagination would allow it to be.

"Not all of them are bad," I whispered aloud. "Just these."

And my parents would assure me that I could do it, no matter what.

I fell asleep imagining their voices, and dreamed of Hogwarts.

"Wake up!" Bellatrix slapped my face, and I was abruptly shaken into the world of the waking. I glared at her as she cackled madly, reaching for my wand just to get her out of there. She was insane.

I took special care to dress this morning, putting on black robes and pinning up my hair, slipping on my shoes after washing my face. I was not going to stop caring about my appearance, even though it wasn't mine. I wasn't going to stop trying.

"Is that her?" A cruel, vicious looking man sneered at me, as soon as I descended down the stairs into the kitchen. He showed off pointed, yellowing teeth. He was a huge, beasty looking man with stringy, brown and grey hair and an abnormal amount of facial hair. He was wearing Death Eater robes, but on closer inspection I did not see a Dark Mark on his arm.

"Yes," Sebastian Travers looked at me as well, standing up and swaggering over, putting a heavy arm around me. He looked drunk, though it was morning. And he smelled of liquor.

"This is her!" He slurred. "Wanting to join the Death Eaters."

He _was _drunk. Alecto and Amycus Carrow, two other Death Eaters in the room, laughed hysterically.

"Don't bloody touch me," I snapped, shoving his arm off and only succeeding in overpowering him because of his slowed reflexes.

"Feisty little thing, but will she survive tonight?" The hairy, brutal looking man bared his teeth once more at me.

"That is what we will discover, isn't it?" Voldemort's voice carried from the staircase. "Welcome, Fenrir." I couldn't place it, but his tone held a certain note of disgust, though that didn't make sense, because Fenrir was not only wearing Death Eater robes, but Voldemort had allowed this Fenrir man into his house.

"What's happening tonight, Master?" Bellatrix ran to Voldemort's side. "Torturing? Killing? Both?" She grinned eagerly.

"It seems a small group of wizards," he began, commanding the attention of everyone in the room. "Walden, fetch me my wand," he interrupted himself, pointing at a new recruit. "Has been rather loud in voicing their opinions about us," angry hissing filled the room. "And they must be stopped before their small group grows," he continued, eyes flashing red as he descended, slowly and regal-like, into the room of his followers. "And we shall commence tonight. Borehamwood," he continued. "Is the current location of this group. We aim to kill."

**Want to leave a review as a Christmas present? **** More reviews inspire me to write more, so faster updates!**

**-C**


	9. Chapter 9

**This chapter's a bit short, but I hope you still enjoy. Happy Late Holidays!**

**-C**

**Chapter 9 The Patronus**

_Just close your eyes, the sun is going down...don't you dare look out your window darling everything's on fire, the war outside our door keeps raging on. Hold onto this lullaby, even when the music's gone. -Taylor Swift "Safe and Sound"_

I spent all of that day worrying myself sick. What was I to do? I was expected to kill as well. But I wouldn't-couldn't-do that. When the time came to leave, I was furious with myself for not coming up with a plan. I was completely panicked, and one good jolt away from losing my dinner.

At least ten of us stood together in the entrance hall, awaiting Voldemort and his instruction.

One by one, they began to dissaparate into the dismal, grey-clouded day-I looked up at them through the only un-boarded window, watching the black streaks of mist that were bodies race through the sky. I joined in, one of the last to go; I stayed behind the others, deathly silent, and hoping Susanna's tail of dissaparation was black as well. That would definitely raise some questions if it was white.

We flew over the countryside, Voldemort in the lead-every once in a while a Death Eater would swoop down, propelling themselves through a building or a house, leaving a suddenly roaring fire and biting screams behind them. I watched each one until we had flown too far ahead to see them anymore. In most of the houses and buildings, inhabitants escaped...but in some, no one came rushing out the doors.

I prayed they had been empty to begin with.

We stopped at a muggle village.

"Master, why did we stop?" Jugson, a broad man with a hooked nose, inquired.

"To strike terror in the hearts of all those who lay eyes upon us," Voldemort answered viciously as we looked into the brink of the now-peaceful village. "There are wizards here, and they will tremble in fear at the sight of us," his gaze snapped to me, Death Eaters robes blowing in the wind that pressed us on the top of the hill. It struck me how odd it was for him to be handsome. A man like him should be twisted, horrible to look at- "Susanna," he said with eerily calmness. "Welcome to your first walk with the Death Eaters."

He waved his hand and suddenly something smooth and cold was covering my face-I put my hands up to feel it, and looking at the Death Eaters around me, I realized-I was wearing the silver Death Eater mask along with the rest of them.

I looked no different than them.

"Torches," one man grunted, and throwing his wand hand into the air, we were all supplied with heavy, metallic, twisting torches. At the top a black flame burst into existence, scorching the evening air. I stood looking at it uncertainly, on the brink of throwing it at Voldemort and running. If there was any way I could warn the townspeople below, I would do it in a heartbeat.

"Formation!" Voldemort barked, joining in the double file line with the rest of us. Hissing and cackling excitedly, they began to chant. They chanted of death, and Voldemort, and snakes-I moved my mouth, not sure if I was chanting with them, or if words were even coming out at all.

We left the hill, stepping onto the street. Muggles threw open their doors, cowering in fear-several of them held telephones in their hand, no doubt calling the police.

I stared intently at the feet of the man in front of me-I was in back-and tried to stay with the rhythm, continuing to march. We were halfway through the village now-my heart was pounding furiously, my grip slipping on the torch, the heaviness pulling my stiff arm down-I stumbled on my robes, but quickly regained my balance. We were almost there. Almost there. I fixated on a point on the horizon, glad no killing or torture spells had been fired from the wands of the Death Eaters.

I had barely uttered the thought when a toddling baby came into the street, wide eyed and reaching out to the Death Eaters, curious.

It was Bellatrix that went for her wand-his mother and father were screaming for their child, running toward them-I braced myself. I could do this.

"Avada-"

_"PROTEGO!"_ I screamed furiously in my mind. Wandless. Nonverbal. I watched the baby's mouth twist into a surprised "o", his parents screaming as they caught up with him, whisking him away.

The killing curse rebounding, the green light shooting off the shield and just over our heads, scattering us.

With an enraged cry, Bellatrix struck out. Not at the baby and his sobbing parents, but at the house behind it.

Heart lurching, I could do nothing to stop it-the house was already harboring fire, the supports crumbling and spitting ash, flames and smoke colliding with the air. The family turned to watch, crying but not screaming. So the house had been empty of all other human inhabitants. I had broken out into a cold sweat-other Death Eaters had begun to throw their torches, lighting houses afire- in my adrenaline-induced fury I tried to put them out with my mind, but I was quickly growing weary-I was shaking all over, and ash was raining down around us-panic, confusion, and chaos-and yet we kept marching.

No one suspected that it was me who saved the boy and his family, no one suspected that it was me who was trying like my life depended on it to keep the flames from utterly destroying everything.

We finally made it through the village, ash covered and robes smoking. The silver masks twisted into grotesque shapes were oddly clean: not a streak of soot was to be seen.

Our group finally vanished into the forest, coughing but laughing merrily, talking lightly and making joke of all the lives they had wreaked havoc upon.

"One of those parents must have been magical, I almost got them!" Bellatrix was stomping her feet.

"Calm, Bellatrix," Voldemort ordered. "There will be more killings tonight."

His words struck fear into my heart. I prayed that no one would see me shaking, and that they would put the watery tracks on my face down to smoke-induced tears.

"Lazaraith, Macnair," Voldemort called lazily. We were in the countryside now, having dissaparated away from the muggle village.

"Oh!" I jumped up from where we were magicking our robes clean. I had forgotten that I could be addressed as Lazaraith-I had grown slightly used to Susanna, but not my surname.

Macnair was a young, large man with dark hair and the beginnings of a neat mustache.

"My faithful followers," he spread his hands once he had gotten us away from the rest of the group. "Your Lord has a special task for you."

I trembled.

"Yes, my Lord?" Macnair bowed his head, and I mimicked him, muttering the same sentence.

"I need the two of you to scout ahead. Show your eagerness to prove yourselves," he said softly, stroking his bone-handled white wand. I could only imagine the number of people whose last sight had been that wand, and a blinding flash of green light. Too many.

"Yes, my Lord," I beat Macnair to saying. "What shall we look for?"

"Find them, discover their numbers, report back to me before nightfall," he stood up and glided away.

"Yes, my Lord," we called back together.

"Well?" He snarled, turning to me. "Let's go, then!" He shot up off the ground in a funnel of black smoke. I did the same, speeding to catch up to him. The grounds landmarks grew smaller under our flight, and suddenly we landed.

"Borehamwood," I murmured, reading the sign.

"They're in this forest, that's what the Dark Lord suspected," he hissed, looking around as a muscle in his jaw jumped.

"Let's go, unseen then," I walked briskly past him. How could I warn them what was coming? A warning was the best I could do. We ran for a while, robes snapping behind us, and delved deep into the trees.

The piercing cry of a wolf sounded through the night, breaking my concentration and reminding me painfully of Remus. It wasn't a full moon, so the wolf must have been just that-a normal animal. But still. The faces of my friends shot through my mind.

"Think," I muttered to myself. "What would James do? Or Sirius? They're clever, they're near the top of the year...I am-was-, too, but they would be better at this sort of planning than me," I thought within the safe confines of my brain, correcting myself with a past tense and a flinch.

"I'm going to do a tracking spell, wait here and stay quiet," Macnair snapped, turning his back on me.

This was my chance. A message, a message...how would I-

_"Patronus, Lily, obviously! And here you had me thinking you were clever!" _the answer came to me in the form of Sirius's teasing voice and rolling eyes.

_"Use that lovely silver doe of yours and warn the poor chaps, now is not the time for hesitation!" _I heard James now, and couldn't resist a smile as his face washed through my mind.

I had trouble conjuring one-I had always had trouble with that spell. But there were no dementors around to leech of my happiness-there was, however, the small problem of keeping the doe a secret once she was formed. Putting my wand away after the nonverbal spell and a darkening charm so none of the silver light would seep into Macnair's view, I hissed the message.

"Homenum Revelio..." Macnair was loudly spouting off spells, wand raised and back to me. How much would it take to break his concentration?

"My name is Louise," I muttered to it, lying. "And we witches in the village have received word from another town just attacked by Death Eaters that they are heading your way, and they are going to attempt to eliminate your small band of resistance. Be prepared. Do not return this message, I am being watched," I hissed as quietly as I could, sending the wide-eyed doe scampering off between trees, darting and jumping until she was out of sight. I sighed, turning my gaze back to Macnair, wavering.

"Quaero hominis..." he continued to mutter. A last wave of light came off in sheets from his wand, and he turned to me, just as I was kicking at the dirt with my toe, hands placed innocently on my hips. He couldn't have turned around at a better time.

"Let's go, that way," he barked as a flare of light shot up from the general direction that my doe had scampered off then. "My searching charms have found them!" He shouted, breaking into a run.

"Are you mad?" I hissed, yanking him back. "We can't just go rushing in there, _we're _not attacking, now are we? We're scouting," I hiss. "And keep your voice down!"

He glowered at me, furious. Roughly taking out his wand again and holding it aloft in a grip that could have crushed it, we snuck ahead.

_"Please don't be talking about the warning, please don't be talking about the warning..._" I thought desperately to myself as we walk, wands lit and held aloft, both facing different directions as we crept through the trees, nimble stepping over protruding roots.

"Listen," Macnair flung an arm out, catching me on the waist. I glared at him furiously, but he was not looking at me.

A low, indistinct hum of talking was drifting through the trees, voices rising and falling like the flow of a river. Macnair's eyes flitted around, taking in everything, looking for any sign of human life, any at all-

"Look," I said in a hushed voice, pointing down. Several footprints lead in the direction we're going, disappearing under the leaves several paces ahead. But it was no coincidence-they are leading us to the men Voldemort is after.

"Follow me," he crept forward, commanding me as he went.

I didn't respond, merely fell behind him, glancing over my shoulder every few seconds, heart beating wildly. Because, I realized with a start, once we attack, these people won't know it's me who warned them. They'll attack me just like the rest of them.

Fear began to course through my veins as my heartbeat speeds up, and the grip I had on my wand was shaking.

He pushed stealthily through a bush that was taller than both of us, and stopped abruptly-I caught myself from running into him, and he brought a finger to his lips, eyes wide-he motioned me to step near him, and my heart dropped at the scene.

If we would have taken one step further, we would have both fallen down a steep ravine. Only foolishness stopped us from noticing how the treeline abruptly stopped right where we stood.

Tents were set up, people bustling about, and fires are being started-every once in a while, various people would throw glances over their shoulders at the dark trees behind them.

"They're more prepared than we thought," Macnair murmured, and I barely contained my yelp of satisfaction. They've gotten the message, and they'll be ready. Thank Merlin they didn't send back a Patronus per instruction.

"Fourteen...fifteen..." I follow Macnair's lead, beginning to count as well. A crow lands on the ground near us, squawking loudly.

"Bloody hell!" Macnair swore, jumping back. In a defensive moment, he killed the bird with a quick spell and it gave one more feeble hop before it crumpled, just a dark mass of feathers now. For him, killing was instinctive. I tried to cover my shaky intake of breath, disgusted. I had seen too many horrors tonight. I would never become desensitized to them.

"Around seventeen," I spoke up and he glared at me, lip curling.

"Who asked you?"

"The Dark Lord did, you imbecile," I snapped, relishing the insult. "If he wanted only you to do the work, he wouldn't have asked me to come." Macnair hissed insults at me all the way back, thinking I couldn't hear them just because he was behind me.

I stopped once we reach the edge of the trees again, back into the open. Without a look behind me I dissaparated.

The feeling of apparation was different this way-the Death Eater's way was slower, and more like flying-this was the way they preferred to do it-not just appearing and disappearing with a pop, but the dramatics of the black smoke. And destroying things, and watching them be destroyed.

At Hogwarts, we had learned to Apparate in fifth year-normally it would have been later, but with Voldemort on the rise, they wanted us to know how to get out of the situation quickly if need be. It seemed ironic now.

We made it back as the sun was sinking lower into the sky.

"How many?" Voldemort met us as we approached them.

"Around seventeen, my Lord," I told him first. He nodded slowly, pulling out a small snake from the insides of his robe like it was the most normal thing in the world, having a snake there.

"Sanguinis is hungry, and she shall feed tonight," he said softly, holding up the baby cobra to the sun. He hissed something at the snake, in the same grating language he had used in the dark room. Parseltongue, I realized. Voldemort was a Parselmouth.

His followers crowded behind him, spreading out from his lead, anticipating the attack with baited breath.

"Let us begin!" Voldemort roared. The masks appeared back on our face, but not the torches. He set off, a black blur against the darkening sky. I waited until the last second to leave-I shot up, steps behind everyone else, following with determination, willing them to be ready, to be on guard. Macnair took the lead, showing everyone the way. We flew rapidly over the woods we had just walked through, and dove into the ravine as suddenly as it had appeared.

We materialized, all around the camp, surrounding the premises, black columns shooting down onto the ground and becoming people.

"_Protego! Expelliarmus! Stupefy_!" We were met immediately with spells-Death Eaters threw them off easily, stopping the blasts of light with flicks of their wand.

The band of resistors flew toward us, determination set on their face. But the Death Eaters had one thing that they didn't-they wouldn't kill, wouldn't torture.

I pointed my wand at people and hesitated, like I was thinking about what spell to use, then quickly blocking as the lights of spells came streaking toward me. I had to make it look like I was doing something.

"_Stupefy!" A_ male voice shouted, and I whirled around, about to block it. It was too fast. It connected with my chest in a nasty, sickening moment and I went flying, vision going black, and landing on the ground, leaves and twigs crunching beneath me, not slowing my fall at all.

I gulped in heaving breaths, the sound of the battle around me oddly distorted. Thankfully the Stunner hadn't knocked me out. I tried to roll over, to look for my wand-I felt incomplete without it, exposed.

The air around me swirled, thick with flying spells and flying bodies. Stabbing pains riddled my torso as I pulled myself along the ground with my forearms. I ran my hands along the ground for my wand as a sickly blue spell shot straight over my head, missing and hitting a tree behind me-the tree exploded in a shower of ash.

That had been meant for me.

I jumped to my feet, swaying slightly, looking for my attacker-

_"Avada Kedavra!" _The man screamed towards me. Tears were running down his twisted face-behind him lay a body, perhaps his wife-and he was taking his grief out on me-

I stared at the green light, time slowing down. I couldn't move my feet, they were rooted to the spot.

Couldn't move. The thumping sound of my heartbeat was all I heard, blood was rushing in my ears-

At the last second, I realized-this light was going to kill me. I flung myself down and to the side, skidding but not feeling a thing. My breath was coming in gasps, my heart beating faster than I thought was possible. I looked down at my shaking hands, and-

"My wand!" I blurted, grabbing the saving piece of magic and rolling up, pointing it back at my attacker all in one motion. I was still shaky, and slightly off balance-in a full out duel, this man would win, hands down.

Something barrelled into me, forcing me to turn to black smoke, flying up into the sky until the screams of revenge from the people could no longer be heard. I gained control of my dissaparation and flew away from whoever had ran into me-later I found it had been Rosier- and joined in with the rest.

I kept an eye out behind me, like any minute that man might show up and try to kill me again. I hadn't known the spell he had used, but it looked horrible. Of course, what the Death Eaters had done to his group was more horrible by far.

At least they had been warned, or else it would have been just like slaughtering them in their sleep.

Back at the safe house, Voldemort's fury was unimaginable.

**A\N-Please take ten seconds to review, even if it's just one word. I haven't been getting many lately! Please tell me if you like the story, or even if you don't!**

**-C**


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

"They were ready for us," Voldemort said in a deadly calm voice. For him, that was worse than screaming. I leaned back against the wall, trying to catch my breath. All of the Death Eaters that had gone on the mission were, in various states of injury, surrounding Voldemort.

Icy cold fear gripped my heart as he turned, deliberately and slowly, toward Macnair and me.

"Crucio," he said softly, just as if introducing himself.

Macnair crumpled to the ground, screaming horribly. His back arched up, all his muscles taut, the scream being drawn out of him forcefully. It was impossible to watch this scene of agony, yet I couldn't tear my gaze away. I just stared, wide-eyed, unable to help, joints frozen into place.

Voldemort finally relented, and I realized with a start all of my own muscles were clenched, my jaw shut tight to hold in a scream of my own.

I was next.

"Now, _Legimens_," Voldemort continued. No Death Eater made a move to help their own. To do so would be death.

He held eye contact with Macnair, whose breathing was shallow and rapid. Blood was trickling down his nose, maybe from falling so fast to the floor. Maybe from the intense pain.

"Not you," he stroked his wand possessively. "For your own sake, Susanna Lazaraith, I hope it was not you, as well," his thick, black waves were slightly askew.

"_CRUCIO!" _Searing flames were engulfing my body, burning slowly, unrelenting-tears were squeezing themselves through my eyes, and I was curling into myself, trying to get away from the crushing, gripping, pain, of which there was no refuge.

And it stopped I found myself looking up at the ceiling and wondering how I had gotten on the floor. Breathing hurt.

Voldemort's mouth moved, but no sound came out. I had been staring down at his wand, but now my gaze was moving irrevocably up to his eyes, some unseen force was pulling them up-maybe it was the aftereffects of the Cruciatus Curse, but they looked pure red. Everything was moving slowly, what my eyes were processing was only waves of color. I was underwater.

In my mind's eye, I saw myself. I dissaparated, and the images blurred forward, together, until Macnair and I entered the forest.

I was seeing what Voldemort was seeing. He was reading my mind.

I was barely conscious enough to hope with all my might that Dumbledore's mind protection extended to cover up what I had done with the patronus. I knew if Voldemort saw it, I was in no state to fight back. With one flick of the wand I'd be dead and tossed out.

Unless he decided to torture me first.

But the memory of my doe patronus was neatly skipped over. Instead, I was seen simply standing behind Macnair, looking back every few seconds and yawning once. Completely innocent. Dumbledore's protection was extremely potent. I owed him my life many times over.

"I must say, Susanna, I am pleasantly surprised," Voldemort announced in a tinny voice, sounding like it was coming from far away, down a tunnel. Maybe it was still just my disoriented senses. "I had high hopes for you joining the ranks of Death Eaters."

He swept away, completely casual, as if he hadn't just tortured two human beings.

I looked over to Macnair who was laying towards me, several feet away.

I didn't know if there was any sort of friendship or alliance here, in the most evil of places; maybe the look that we shared was nothing but the acknowledgement of shared pain. But our eyes met, and for a moment I didn't see him as my enemy.

Sleep came in fragmented bits that night, and my dreams were restless. I was pulled into the lull of unconsciousness when it came, unable to wake, though I tossed and turned insistently. And when I woke, the dreams continued. I'm sure I screamed more than once, but no one came.

_"James, what are you doing in here?"_

_The first dream was the most painful. James was standing at the door, looking at me sadly, wearing the same clothes he had been in last time I had seen him._

_"I'm here to get you out, Lily!" He said excitedly in a hushed whisper. _

_"I can't," I stayed in place. "I have to do my duty. Besides, this is a dream."_

_"It's a dream, so you can come, then. You'll still be in the same place in the morning," James assured me, stretching out his hand. "Look at yourself."_

_I stood on trembling legs, my body feeling oddly familiar, like I had stepped out of a pair of new, uncomfortable shoes and into my softest pair of socks._

_I walked slowly to the mirror, my red hair the first thing registering in the dark room-it was me! I was me again! I stepped closer, and closer, until my nose was almost touching the glass. I opened my eyes wide, taking in the greenness and my freckles. I was me again, if only in a dream._

I blinked hard, and my eyes opened-I was back in my bed, sheets twisted furiously around my legs and waist as if they held me captive. I had broken out in a cold sweat, and my heart was pounding furiously. At first, I didn't recall my dream.

"Oh!" I blurted, then clamping my hands over my mouth. Susanna's hands. I remembered the dream now-I clamped my eyelids over my eyes, determined to get back to sleep-to see James's face. My body was sore and pained like I had spent all day being churned in a barrel full of nails. Pins and needles wracked my hands and feet, more effects from the torture curse, but they faded once my eyes stayed closed of their own accord.

_"See, Flower?" James was by the mirror with me now, grinning in the background. "You're you again."_

_"Come on Potter, we haven't got much time, we've got to go!" I grabbed his arm, leaving the room in a burst of excitement. We tore down the hall, the house oddly empty._

_"Where is everyone else?" I asked in a hushed whisper. I don't remember my reaching for James's hand, but suddenly he held it in a tight grip. I felt safer now._

_"Sirius and Marlene have taken care of them," he offered me a humorous smile. "They're all tied up on the roof, and so is Voldemort, they've put him in a dress," he announced with a grin, and we roared with laughter. "I've missed you, Lily."_

_"I miss you too, James," I whispered, so caught up in the incredible detail of the pain-induced dream that I didn't use the correct tense. His brow furrowed, but only for a moment. _

_We walked right out of the house into the night, the air cool and fresh. The house behind us was completely black, the windows gaping holes like the closed eyes of a monster._

_"Lily!" A pair of arms grabbed me from behind, and Marlene crushed me in a suffocating hug._

_"Can't-breathe!" I gasped, laughing at the same time, and hugging her back. She pulled away, eyes twinkling, and opening the front door, revealing four broomsticks eagerly levitating, awaiting our flight._

_"Evans!" Sirius bellowed, throwing his arms around me, picking me up off the ground, and swinging my legs from side to side._

_"Missed you too, Sirius," I laughed, remembering to use the past tense this time. Dreams were real while you were in them._

_"Alright, let's get on now-haven't forgotten how to ride now, have you Lily?" James teased, jumping on his own broom._

_"I don't believe so," I rolled my eyes._

_"Remus is waiting back in Greece, and so are your parents and Petunia. They all wanted to come and see you again," Marlene told me excitedly as we kicked off, the cool air of the night blowing through my hair and clothes as we rose. I turned back, glimpsing many dark huddled figures together on the roof of the safe house, one in a frilly pink dress standing out the most. I turned away, laughing, and not looking back._

_"Whooo!" I whooped with joy, closing my eyes and grinning into the wind. I dipped into a front spiral, holding on with only my legs, something I never would have attempted in real life._

_"Nice one, Lily!" Sirius sped by, flying upside down, legs and arms wrapped around the top of the broom. _

I woke up once more, the pillow damp with tears of longing. I was Susanna again. And I would be, indefinitely. I strained to get out of Susanna's body, longing to return to my own life. But it was like trying to catch something that had already fallen.

Or grasping for something that was already gone.

The room was darker than it had been in my dream. I looked at my hands, still the too thin, bony fingers and wrists of Susanna. I would never grow used to them.

_Six Months Later-January_

"Susanna, welcome," Voldemort beckoned me into the room. The table full of Death Eaters looked at me, some smiling slightly-I started to panic. Not a good sign.

A giant python of Voldemort's slithered right in front of my feet. But I had grown used to his scaly beasts, and merely stepped over it, Death Eater robes brushing his slimy back. As of late, I had begun to be invited to the Death Eater's meetings. They were highly unpleasant, but I had become talented at restraining my tears.

All of these meetings, and not one mention, not one rumor had been whispered about attacking Hogwarts and the surrounding area. And I was a Death Eater, officially. But my inner left forearm was bare. Something I was glad of. But as always, I didn't appreciate the blank paleness of the skin until it was gone.

"Thank you, my lord," I spoke confidently, channeling the power of Susanna's voice. My eyes skipped over the other inhabitants of the table, going straight to Voldemort.

"I suppose you are wondering by now why you were invited late to this meeting," he prodded, sweeping his hand to a vacant chair at his left which I unwillingly took. I did a double take when I grew closer to him-his features looked-waxy, almost, and blurred in the slightest. And his eyes had taken on a permanent red tint, although they weren't completely red unless he was angry.

"We have been discussing security measures for tonight, we are going to be attacked," he said softly, and a murmur of consent rippled around the table. Something about this whole setup seemed-different. It was strange. Starting from the smiles I received when I walked in-something was different. Why would they be hiding smiles if we were going to be attacked?

"By whom, my Lord?" I rested my back against the back of the chair, holding my head high.

"You shall see, Susanna. Would you like to join in now, as we discuss the plan?" he asked politely. But he wasn't asking. He was actually saying, you will stay and discuss, or I will kill you. That's how it was.

"Yes, my Lord."

I struggled not to strangle him.

That night I had difficulty falling asleep. If I were back in my muggle home, I would have listened to music, primarily. I missed music. I hadn't heard a note in months. I wanted to hear Elvis crooning, he was my favorite. I began to hum "_Jailhouse Rock_" under my breath, voice cracking as I tried not to cry.

I was becoming depressed, no matter how hard I tried to keep my mental health up and my spirits high. I couldn't function in this level of darkness for prolonged periods of times, and I was losing myself.

But there was something _off_ about Voldemort's meeting. More precisely, the way the Death Eaters had been behaving at the meeting. They had not seemed very concerned for a group of people whose hiding place was about to be revealed, though Voldemort remained impassive as always.

I turned to face the wall as I grew uncomfortable facing the center of my room, the darkness boring into my eyes. I had the oddest feeling that someone was watching me.

I didn't remember falling asleep.

But consciousness finally lost its grip on me, and suddenly, Dumbledore was right before my eyes-sitting in his desk. I was looking across at him just like I was sitting in the chair on the other side.

"Hello," I beamed at him, happy to have another dream where I could see people that I need to know.

"Hello, Lily. You are doing extremely well. Voldemort trusts you, and you have not made enemies among the Death Eaters. And you have held onto your sanity very nicely," Dumbledore smiled at me over his glasses.

"This is a very realistic dream," I commented, standing up and realizing-I was myself again. Lily. I did a little spin, holding my hair up so I could see it, looking down at my body, my hands, with delight. "I'm almost eighteen," I murmured suddenly. It was true. Two more weeks until January 30th.

"What you are experiencing is realistic because of one simple fact. Would you like to know what that is, Lily?"

"Yes, sir," I smiled again, wanting to hold onto the dream as long as possible.

"This is real."

"Wha-" I stopped my spinning. "What do you mean, this is real?"

"Oh, you may keep spinning, Miss Evans," Dumbledore's bright blue eyes twinkled at me. "I find it very satisfying that you are still able to feel happiness after all these months of darkness...although you are not done yet."

I didn't want to contradict him. If he believed I could still feel happiness, fine. I would let him think that. My heart still felt heavier than a rock and I doubted I would ever be the person I once was.

_Unless you forgot, _a tiny voice whispered in my head. _And Dumbledore said you would…_"But this...this is in my head, isn't it?" I furrowed my brow.

"Of course it is in your head! But why on earth would that make it any less real?" Dumbledore said cryptically.

"So...I'm really in your office, then?"

"A figment of your mind is. That is why you appear as yourself. If anyone were to enter your room at this time, they would see a sleeping Susanna. Nothing more. But, there is a reason I have called you here, Lily."

"What is that, sir?"

"You are about to be initiated into Voldemort's inner circle, entrusted with his confidence. In other words...you are quickly approaching the date in which you will receive the Dark Mark."

"I-oh," I said simply.

"And you need to prepare."

"Prepare? For the pain?" I asked. I knew it would hurt-it would be, after all, burning the symbol into my inner arm-but I had been tortured before. Why would Dumbledore bring me here to prepare me for pain?

"The most powerful wizards," Dumbledore began, looking at me intently. His auburn hair seemed to have frosted over a bit more since the last time I'd seen him. "Can produce stunningly detailed illusions of the mind. Voldemort possesses this ability, Miss Evans. Can you think of how this pertains to you?"

I thought. It must have something to do with the initiation. "That's how he's going to test me."

"That is correct. You will have an advantage, because you and Susanna are not the same-you did not have the same past, and you do not care for the same people. But still, it will be almost impossible to tell the beginning of the illusion. But let me tell you what to expect."

"Alright, sir."

"Voldemort will make you see the people you-or, more accurately, _Susanna, _cares about. He will make it appear as though these people are attacking himself. And you must kill them before they get to your master, no matter what."

"That-that's terrible!" I cried out. "Even if it's not real!"

"Yes, it is. And as Susanna never made it past the stages of infancy, as you know, her entire past has been illustrated by me. As you also know. As have the people in her past. You will likely see what I have created to be her dead husband, her dead parents, her best friends-it will make no difference that they are dead. You are merely shutting down holograms."

"But will I know it's an illusion?" Horror grew on me. I was actually going to have to…I wasn't sure I could handle this. It might push me over the edge completely, killing people…even though it wasn't really murder, and the people hadn't really ever existed. _But still._

I couldn't wrap my brain around the thought, I couldn't process the depth of what I was being asked to do.

"_You _will, because I have prepared you, and because you know the people that you see will not actually be real. This is your advantage. You must kill the illusions, thus proving yourself to Voldemort. You must not falter," Dumbledore said solemnly.

"I won't," I promised. How realistic could it possibly be? "Is this how a_ll _Death Eaters are tested?" I asked.

"No, he has tests that vary," Dumbledore answered vaguely. "And now," he continued, steepling his fingers. "How is your emotional state holding up? I regret that I cannot offer you physical protection against the painful things that this world brings to you," his eyes turned sad, and I realized that he knew I had been tortured. I lowered my eyes.

"That's alright. It's worth it to save so many lives. If you hadn't protected my mind when he used Legimency, and when he asked me questions, I would have met a much more terrible fate."

"Wisely spoken."

"Thank you. And to answer your question...I've been holding up well, I guess. Kind of. I've been doing menial things, organizational things to keep my mind of the darkness, like-like keeping track of the moon phases, looking at it every night. And imagining what my friends and family would say if they were there with me," I admitted.

"Very clever," he nodded his head. "Continuing with the small tasks that graft you to your old life can keep a soul from slipping away," he said a bit sadly. "Do you regret your decision, Lily?"

I stopped myself from answering right away. I was miserable, yes. I missed everyone I loved terribly, I missed my old life, my old body-I truly didn't know what I had until my role was reversed. But did I regret it? "No," I said truthfully. "I don't. I just imagine the people I'm saving...and it's alright."

"Well spoken, Miss Evans."

"Professor..." I stopped myself, suddenly shy.

"Yes?" he smiled slightly, like he knew I was about to make in impossible request.

"Is there-is there any way I...could...you know, see my friends, or anything...like that?" I finished awkwardly, returning to my chair and crossing my legs firmly.

"I'm afraid not, Lily. I would like nothing more. But to do so would mean going through the process of re-adjusting to the darkness of Susanna's life all over again. It would be like ripping off a very much-needed callus," he said sadly. "The only reason I called you to my office was because it was absolutely necessary, and even with this one visit, I'm sure you'll find yourself wondering if you will see me again every night before you fall asleep," he said apologetically. "And for that, I am deeply sorry. Stay strong, Lily," he stood up.

"I have one more question," I blurted quickly.

"What is that, Miss Evans?"

"If I stop the Death Eaters once...who's to say they won't try again?" Dumbledore shook his head.

"That is not how the Death Eaters think. If Voldemort is humiliated into a defeat once-because, for him, that is _the _most horrible thing to experience-defeat. And especially by someone he trusted. He will not try again. Nor will the Death Eaters want to. At least, not for many, _many _years, if at all." I nodded silently.

"Do I have to go now?" I stalled.

"I'm afraid so," he nodded.

"Goodbye, Professor," I said sadly.

"Goodbye, Lily. We shall meet again someday, and not just like this," he gestured around us. "Keep hold of memories. Stay strong," he advised.

I nodded, taking a deep breath. The office began to blur, fading from my sight until it was nothing but a smudge on the back of my eyelids when I opened my eyes again, settling into the sight of my dark room once more.

I pulled my left arm from under the thin quilt, running my thumb over the unmarked skin of my inner forearm.

Wondering what it would look like with a Dark Mark.

**Kind of a dark chapter. But there is light at the end of the tunnel! Not in the death sense though, but in the sense that there are lighter days ahead. :D**

**Review please? :D My birthday is coming up!**

**-C**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11 Dark Mark**

_If you're going through hell, just keep movin' don't slow down, you might get out 'fore the devil even knows you're there. -Rodney Atkins, "If You're Going Through Hell"_

The next morning, I was already paranoid that the whole thing was Voldemort's test illusion.

At breakfast, the food was bland-did that mean it wasn't real?

But when another Death Eater ran into my shoulder, it hurt like any other day. Did that mean it _was?_

"The Dark Lord wishes to speak to you," Augustus Rookwood's voice spoke suddenly from outside my door. He opened it slightly, pushing his sharp-featured face in. "So you'd better go, now," he spoke lazily, as if demanding a fly to get off his food.

"I am," I snapped, jumping off from organizing my stack of new books from Diagon Alley on a shelf I'd nailed in over my bed. I didn't know how it was possible, but Susanna had money in a vault at Gringotts. Not much, but enough. One hundred galleons, seventy-three sickles, and twenty-three knuts were left now.

Whether her parents had put it there for her before they had realized she was going to be stillborn and had never gotten around to taking it out, or if Dumbledore had, I didn't know. All I knew that I was currently reading through seventh year textbooks like they were fascinating novels. I had been with the Death Eaters long enough now that no one questioned it, only put it down as another one of my peculiar oddities that they were convinced I was riddled with.

I walked quietly to Voldemort's room, knocking to announce my presence.

"Come in, Susanna."

I pushed open the door quietly to his dark snake room. "Yes, my lord?"

For once, the room wasn't dark.

I wished it was.

A blood red light was shining from a single lamp, bathing the many, many snakes in a scarlet glow. I shuddered, surprising myself: I had thought I had become accustomed to the sight of Voldemort's snakes, but not in this quantity. The scaly coils looped over chairs, shelves, and they covered the floor completely save for the spot where I was standing, giving me a small birth. They were slithering over Voldemort's feet, but he didn't seem to mind. In fact, he seemed to be encouraging it-he was hissing back with them in conversation, using his Parseltongue skill. Their beady black eyes flashed as they whispered of things I couldn't understand.

He beckoned me to the center of the room and I approached slowly, tensing up every time I narrowly missed stepping on a snake. More than half of them looked poisonous.

"How is joining the ranks of the Death Eaters suiting you, Susanna?" He held my eye contact, and I couldn't pull away.

Something almost imperceptibly changed in the atmosphere, something anyone else would have missed if they hadn't been looking for it. But a day's worth of paranoia prepared me.

A subtle flip in gravity, almost-for a moment, it felt as if my feet had left the floor. Almost like being light-headed, which was what most people would have put it down for. And maybe it was, I thought with doubt. But I shook myself out of it. It was too much of a coincidence for it to be anything but the entrance of the illusion.

"Yes, my lord, I am," I finally remembered to answer. He nodded, looking slightly different in a way I couldn't put my finger on. And something in the air had changed, too-but my mind was too hazy to realize.

Then it occurred to me-the snakes were not hissing. They were no longer making any noise.

"The snakes," I started.

"Yes?" he pushed.

"They've stopped hissing," I was already regretting speaking.

"Sometimes they do that," he said softly. "Nothing to worry about. Now Susanna, come with me. We are going to test your loyalty," his eyes flashed dangerously, and now I knew we were in the illusion.

"Anything, my lord!" I said confidently. "Anything."

A ghost of a smile traced his lips, and I could tell he was thinking something along the lines of-we'll see about that.

Yes, Voldemort. We _will._

"There has been a tiny spot of resistance, however, we must stamp it out, however small, before they can recruit followers. Come. You need not know the location-only follow me."

Voldemort disappeared with a pop. No theatrics now-just straight dissaparating.

I dissaparated as well, swallowing my doubt that I wouldn't need the location.

It proved true, however-when the squeezing sensation had passed, I opened my eyes to a small neighborhood darkened with sunset. The air was cold, and packed snow crunched under our feet as we walked. The cold was biting.

Something tugged in the back of my mind-my eyes shot open with surprise-this was Susanna's home.

"My hometown," I murmured. Voldemort's eyes flashed with triumph. "It is here?" I struggled to keep my voice even, trying to speak with shock in my voice. Susanna's acting talent did not fail me.

"Yes. Now this house-this one here-blow it open. I will go from the back. If anyone approaches us, kill them. No exceptions. Now go!" Voldemort snarled, and I did not hesitate even though it was Susanna's house. I scrambled forward, shouting-

_"Bomborda!" _the front of the house exploded into dust and flying bits of material. I covered my head, ducking away from the chunks of rubble that flew outward, my heart pounding as a layer of dust settled on my robes. I stepped into the house, following the sound of the scream.

I knew, without a doubt, that this was not real, but I still winced at the chilling, shrill sound. It was Susanna's-my-mother.

"Who's there?" called a deep voice. My husband. Something seemed off about the two people I had just heard speak, but I couldn't form the connection, couldn't get my brain to jump over the broken bridge. Shrugging it off, I advanced through the cloud of still settling dust.

"Show yourself!" A deeper voice boomed. My father.

"There!" My mother shrieked, and I came into view-but she wasn't pointing at me. She was pointing at Voldemort, stepping out of the shadows. Neither of them saw me yet-

Voldemort's wand was snapped, and he held it up for me to see. A look of horror (fake) was shining through his dirty face.

So _this _was how it was going to happen.

"Avada-"

"_No!" _I shrieked. It was all happening so fast, I didn't know what I was going to do-I lurched forward, tripping and slamming into the wall.

Above me, the ceiling trembled, already weak from my earlier blast.

Before any of us could react, it crumbled.

To the floor.

Right on top of Susanna's mother, husband, and father.

They were dead.

I fought the urge to throw up.

_This wasn't real._

_This wasn't real._

_This wasn't real._

My ears were ringing, I was horrified at what I had just done; I had just unintentionally _killed-_

_No. No. None of this was real._

I took a dazed step forward, my ears ringing loudly from the crash.

I tried to convince myself that the accident which I had just caused…it hadn't harmed anyone.

And in the shade of saving the lives of thousands, three bits of illusion were nothing. They hadn't been alive before. It was like ripping a picture of someone.

"My master is more important than my family," My-Susanna's-voice fell out coldly. A chill ran down my back. How would Voldemort look upon this? In the chaos of everything, would he think I had brought down the section of ceiling on purpose, or…

I was shaking uncontrollably now, and failing miserably at steadying myself. Just illusions, my mind screamed at myself. Even though I knew this, I still could not bring myself to look at the pile of rubble concealing their bodies.

Thousands of lives, I thought again, and I began to calm down. Still, I wouldn't feel any better until we got out of this terrible, nightmarish illusion. Voldemort stepped through the rubble, smiling at me.

"You have proved your devotion to your lord," his wand was slowly mending itself, the dust and rubble around us were fading away. "It was very…interesting, what you did, bringing that ceiling down."

"What-what's happening?" I tried to act surprised, and confused as the scene around us fades and the snake-room comes back into view.

Now that we were back into the real world, I realized the oddity of the situation we had been in, the one fact that my brain had failed to grasp.

Everyone in that illusion had already been dead. Dumbledore had told me that they'd died long ago.

Waves of relief overrode my cold sweat, and I gradually began to forget about it. After all-it was just an illusion.

"That was a test," Voldemort said vaguely.

The snakes were hissing again.

"And did I pass?" I asked hesitantly.

"You did," he answered.

"To the old," Voldemort rose his wand up in the air like he was toasting the Silver-masked Death Eaters around our spot on the ground outside, oddly devoid of snow. The initiation ceremony. Maybe it was the circle of flames licking the air around us that had melted them, though the ground I knelt on wasn't wet. He stood over me while I tried my best to contain my terrible fear.

He looked down at me slowly- "And to the new." he pointed his wand at me, and so did the rest of the masked Death Eaters.

Suddenly, a terrible, searing pain thousands of times worse than the Cruciatus Curse-because it was all concentrated into one area- imposed itself upon my left arm.

I screamed and screamed, gripping my left arm and watching in horror as inky blackness scorched itself into the pale skin. I laid my cheek on the dirt, writhing, the orange flames circling Voldemort and me nothing more than an orange blur. I screamed louder still, not hearing anything else but the shrill sound.

It went on for a while-it could have been hours, or days, or years-I lost my grip on consciousness more than once-at one point I was seeing things-and then, it was finally over.

I felt perfectly fine now, the pain just a whisper of a nightmare that had receded the moment the light hit it.

I stood up to the roaring of the Death Eaters, and pumped my left arm into the air, showing off my dark mark.

Take this! I screamed in my head. You have a good witch, a follower of Dumbledore, not Voldemort, in your inner circle, and you don't even know it! Happiness filled me-I would be one of the first to know as soon as Voldemort hatched the plan of mass execution. And I would stop him.

They misunderstood my exuberance.

It didn't take long after that for Voldemort to start trusting me with more hefty things-he would consult me with plans, make me help them-but still no mention of attacking Hogwarts.

"Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me," I sang softly, choking back tears as I flipped through my seventh year charms textbook in my room. I wondered what my family was doing now-they must be sadder than ever today that I had disappeared. January 30th. My eighteenth birthday. I was now officially of age in the muggle world. I skimmed the page with half-focused eyes, then went back to read it again once I realized I hadn't absorbed a word of it. I was sitting on the floor, my back leaning against my bed and the book propped in my lap.

Anepno-clears airway. If done incorrectly, side effects include...That was of no use to me, but I practiced the swishing motion several times, just in case it ever came in handy.

Falsa Decessus-stun your opponents with this death-mimicking spell! Target will appear dead (while really in an advanced state of paralysis)-

"Whoa!" I gasped, bolting upright and reading it again from the beginning, taking in every word.

-(while really in an advanced stage of paralysis) in which their heartbeat will slow to a rate that is undetectable. They will not be able to move from an hour to several hours, depending on the strength of the charm cast. Warning-This spell will result in memory loss after the target wakes up from "death"-they will remember only falling asleep for a quick nap. Misuse of this spell will result in-

My heart was racing rapidly, my hands shaking with excitement-Falsa Decessus! That was the answer! A grin was spreading on my face-if I could learn to perform the spell non-verbally, no one would know the difference.

The False Death spell didn't come in handy until a month later, and by then I had perfected it. If I could perform it on rats, it would work on humans, right?

I shot my wand over to a group of muggles that Bellatrix was descending upon. I had to get to them before she did-

_FALSA DECESSUS! _I thought with all my might, and the three cowering muggles crumpled. Bellatrix looked behind me, lip curled up.

"Stop stealing my muggles! I want to kill them!" she screamed maniacally.

"They're not _yours," _I said coolly, sparing a glance over her shoulder to where they lie, paralyzed.

"You've gotten wand-happy lately, Susanna," Bellatrix looked at me suspiciously, analyzing me like she could read my mind. I opened my mouth, but only a small squeaking noise came out. I had no answer.

Not wasting a second, I tore over to Antonin Dolohov and Fredrich Gibbon, where they had cornered a terrified old muggle lady.

I wasted no time. I thought the spell and she crumpled as well.

Stealing would-have-been victims decreased my popularity with the other Death Eaters significantly, but Voldemort's opinion of me was rising highly.

There was barely any snow here-the muggle town we had flown to was in the extreme southern part of England, and even the evening air was warm. Winter was thinking of changing to spring.

I darted from one side of the street to the other, Falsa Decessus-ing muggles when I could and putting out fires when I was too late to save their owners' lives. I always felt terrible after these muggle killings, like my insides were aching. But I had not harmed a single hair on anyone's head yet, and I wasn't planning to. When we finally returned, it was after nightfall. I looked at the faint dark mark on my arm-it was barely a shade over grey when it wasn't being used. I wondered for the first time if it would disappear when I became myself again.

I desperately hoped so.

**Four Months later-late May**

"I have been thinking," Voldemort continued, looking at each one of us across the table. I straightened in my chair, digging my fingernails into my palms. I had not been getting any sleep lately-Susanna's body was looking thinner than ever, and I had dark shadows under my eyes all the time. I didn't know how much longer I could keep this up.

"That it is time for the next step in our reign," Voldemort continued coldly. His skin was waxy, his facial features blurring between what they used to be and some other, inhuman and twisted shape. His eyes had an almost bloody look, and they were now red more than black. "Done with the muggle killings for fun, attacking prominent wizard families, weeding out opposition to us," he paused and my eyes slid to those on either side of me-Mulciber and Rowle. "Of course, we will still have these things, of course," he chuckled softly as if he had just made a joke. "But more importantly...we are going to make bigger attacks. And where, can all of you think, would lay my biggest opposer, the man who would raise children to believe that _Mudbloods _are just as good as _Purebloods, _and that _we _can be defeated," he spat and I tried not to shiver at the word "Mudblood." He never would have guessed that there was one in his midst.

"Hogwarts! Are we going to attack Hogwarts?" Bellatrix leaned over the table in excitement, long fingernails clawing at the wood.

"Yes, dear Bellatrix," Voldemort said calmly. Murmuring broke out over the table, but I kept my mouth shut.

"Silence!" Voldemort roared. "Do you doubt me, do you doubt my powers?!" He stood, voice booming murderously. "If anyone wishes to stay behind, they are more than welcome," he said in a silky voice which plainly meant, you will stay behind only if you are dead. Which you will be, if you oppose me.

"No, my Lord," whispers similar to this rippled around the table until the anger ebbed from Voldemort's eyes.

"What is your plan, my lord?" a big, brutal man named Travers stood, almost as eager as Bellatrix.

"We shall attack soon," he began, looking at me. "And, of course, we will not attack _only _Hogwarts, but the surrounding area as well so nosy ears will not get word right away that Hogwarts itself has been attacked. This gives us ample time to disappear. But once they realize..." Voldemort paused, relishing the idea. He had clearly had time to think this over.

"Then, why, it will be a pleasant surprise, won't it?" He gave a high, cruel laugh. "My favorite," his lips pulled grotesquely into a smile. "We attack soon. Three days, approximately. And, as some of you may know, apparation is impossible within the confines of Hogwarts," he stroked his snake and whispered to it in Parseltongue. It slithered across the table, tongue flickering rapidly until it slipped down, sliding out the door. "Therefore, we will be using Portkeys. We will surround Hogwarts from within a ten mile radius. And then, we will close in on them. For those of you who do not think our numbers sufficient," his lips pulled back into a smile once more. "You need not worry. For those in the castle who wish to fight with me, to be loyal to us, they will be given the chance to leave, to escape."

Werewolves. That's what he meant-Fenrir Greyback and his men would be joining in, I had a bad feeling. How was I to stop this?

I didn't sleep that night, either. I spent the whole night thinking, tossing and turning, and thinking some more. What made me different from all the other Death Eaters? How could I stop this?

_"Think, Lily,"_ Dorcas's voice echoed in my head. "_You can fight a Portkey with a Portkey, can't you? They're using Portkeys to get themselves in...you can use Portkeys to get them out."_

_"That's brilliant, Dorcas,"_ I thought back, smiling slightly. What made me different than everyone else? What did I know that no one else did?

"_Randy, obviously,"_ Sirius's voice snorted into my mind_. "It's perfect-he owes you a favor. But how to connect the connect the dots, Lily? How to connect the dots?"_

I thought hard. Portkeys. Fight a Portkey with a Portkey...

Finally, I had my answer.

"Randy?" I called, pushing the door to the side and shifting my heavy bag to my other shoulder. I had wasted no time at all-as soon as the pieces had fallen together into my mind, I had leapt up and apparated immediately. Knockturn Alley at night was risky for someone like Lily, but not someone like Susanna. Even the dodgier people here had seemed to give me a wide berth.

"Miss Susanna? Is that you?" Came a raspy voice from the upstairs of the shop. Not much about it had changed since last time, but it seemed to look shabbier and in even more disrepair in the dark.

"Yes, Randy, it's me. Sorry to come so late, but it's urgent."

"Late? My dear, it's only one o' clock in the morning! I'm still working! See, I had a feeling you would be coming soon," he met me halfway on the stairs, crinkling blue eyes reminding me of Dumbledore. He had gotten a haircut, and looked slightly better kept since I had last seen him, months ago.

"Well, you were right. I have a plan, Randy, and I assure you, it's for the good of everyone. Well, everyone except the dark wizards who are about to get a very raw deal," I said solemnly.

"Come upstairs, Miss Susanna. You must explain something to me. You have the look of a dark wizard, you wear the robes of the Death Eater and I know for a fact you are allied with Voldemort. But I also know for a fact you are brave, and kind enough to risk yourself to save a stranger. You seem to be two people at once. I do not understand."

"I'm still asking the same question of myself," I said softly, taking a seat in the low-ceilinged attack, crossing my legs and looking around at the various whirring tools. "It's a rather long story, really, one I'd like to tell you someday. Maybe."

He nodded, smiling and turning to his work. "I'll be waiting for that, Miss Susanna. And now, what is it that brings you here?"

"A rather large order I'm afraid, Randy. I only have the money to pay for a small piece of it."

"Nonsense! Favors will not be paid for!" He cried as if this was the most outrageous thing in the world. "I owe you whatever you could ask of me. Tell me what it is, and if it is within my ability, I swear to you, it will be done."

"Well..I'm going to need Portkeys. Lots of them. I don't know how many...but as many as you can make in...three days," I remembered Voldemort's estimate. There were maybe twenty Death Eaters Voldemort would be using, plus Fenrir's group...so..."Fifty, maybe," I cringed at the large order. He nodded slowly, taking it in.

"I can get that done in three days."

"When will you sleep?" I cried skeptically.

"I need very little sleep," he shrugged with no concern. "I can start now. Do you have items you would prefer to be the Portkeys?"

"I have a few things," I pulled my bag off my shoulder, opening it and dumping several various items on the table. "These things are normal, everyday items from the house we Death Eaters stay at. Too ordinary to miss, but familiar enough for them to try to pick up if they see them lying around in odd places...after all, curiosity is universal, right? For both good and evil."

"Quiet wise, Susanna," a smile spread across his face as he observed the five items. "But only five?"

"I was thinking we could duplicate them," I explained. "But it will have to be a pretty powerful charm so they don't disappear when the duplicating spell wears off."

"Making it into a Portkey will keep it from disappearing," he nodded, examining the items. I had a grotesque picture of a bunch of tiny muggles serving a huge wizard on a chair, a silver spoon with the mark of the Death Eaters on the handle, a Death Eater robe, an extra wand, and a small, empty cage that had been used for who-knows-what.

"And why, exactly, do you need these?" he asked, baffled.

"You already know I'm a Death Eater who isn't like other Death Eaters, don't you Randy?" I asked him in the simplest terms I could find.

"I do," he said, turning his head and duplicated each item ten times over. The items slowly piled themselves up on the table.

"Well...I can't tell you where, but the Death Eaters are going to attack...somewhere. And this somewhere...well, it would be really bad if they got in. So they're using Portkeys to get there, and when they get to their assigned spots...I'm going to fight a Portkey with a Portkey. That, and a bit of Psychology..."

"What's Sigh-kol-ogy?" he sounded out the foreign word.

"Oh-it's a muggle term. It's studying how to human mind works, sort of. Anyway, as soon as they get to their assigned spots, they're going to find these familiar items. And when they bend down to inspect them, picking them up-surprise! they'll find themselves halfway across the country. And they would be too far away to apparate back, and obviously Portkeys are only one-way. But just in case…I want to make sure they're stuck where they are. I need them trapped and unable to return, at least for a while."

"Interesting," Randy mused, his desk now full of fifty items. "And how are you planning to do that, exactly?"

"I'm working on that," I said slowly.

"I have spell books that you can look through, Miss Susanna. Mind, they're in very much disrepair, but you still might be able to get some use out of them. I'm going to begin now, so you may look if you wish. Right over there, those shelves. They're not Hogwarts level, those books, they're very advanced. I hope you're very good with magic if you find one of those spells of use to you," he chuckled softly.

I nodded, standing up and thumbing through the books.

_Martyrdor's Spell book of Spells...Harmygossen's particularly Vicious Spells for Those who Wish to Destroy You...Sembryton's Joke Spells for Laughs...Galfalott's Mildly Harmful Curses For Enemies... _I snatched the last two books, taking them down to the chair. I started paging through Galfalott's "Mildly harmful curses for enemies" first.

I thumbed through every water-logged page.

Small explosions and other tinkering noises were my soundtrack as Randy did who-knows-what in the background. But the book was full of unimportant spells. The closest thing was giving your enemy extreme boils rendering them immobile for days. "Mildly" harmful, to Galfalott, was what other people, _sane _people, would consider deadly_._

Halfway through the Sembryton's "Joke spells for laughs" I came across something similar to what I had been envisioning-"_Automatic Binding Spell! Astound your friends and family with this amazingly fool-proof spell! Bewitch any household object with the incantation below, and watch your unsuspecting victim's face of shock as they are immediately bound from head to toe with ropes! Note-Do not use on infants of small children. Augustus Sembryton and employees are not responsible for any damage including trauma, rope-rash or rope-burn, or any other side-effects caused by this spell._

"Randy! I've got it!" The words on the page were running together I was so tired, and my eyelids seemed deadly intent on closing themselves. It was nearly three o'clock in the morning.

I looked down at the incantation- _"A capite ad calcem constrixi jute."_

"That's a mouthful," he observed over my shoulder.

"But it's perfect," I grinned happily.

"Tear out the page, then, go on with it! Best be back before they realize you're gone, and get some sleep!" He cried, the silver spoon in one of his hands.

"Thank you so much, Randy!" I exclaimed, pulling out the page and moving to replace the books.

"No, no. I'll get that. You, go!" He ushered me out. "I've got three done, and I'll never get all fifty if I don't get my time!"

"Alright, I'll be back the day we leave!" I promised. "See you, Randy. Thanks again," a smile lit up his wrinkled face. A fleeting thought crossed my head-this man should be a grandfather, not some poorly salesman trying to sell his talent in a place like Knockturn Alley. He waved as I dissaparated, and soon I was back into my bed after I had hid the page with my secret spell on the underside of my bed between the wire frame and the mattress. I fell asleep in no time, with the illustrations of the binding curse etched inside my eyelids.

For the first time in months, I had hope.

_jamesLOVESlily-thank you for your review! And James will re-enter the story very, very soon. We're talking 2-3 chapters or so. _

**A\N I am definitely not happy with this chapter so if you're all thinking wow, this is totally not believeable…I k**_**now. **_**So please no flames.**

**-C**


	12. Chapter 12

**Thank you to all my constant readers and reviewers, you make this story worth writing.**

**Chapter 12: It Ends Tonight**

_What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stand a little taller...what doesn't kill you makes a fighter, footsteps even lighter. -Kelly Clarkson, Stronger_

Over the next few days, I was extremely possessive of my room, and jumpy whenever anyone passed, terrified that one glance would immediately reveal my spell's hiding place. I had been practicing the spell (again on rats) and so far, it wasn't going so well. But I still had another day.

"_A capite ad calcem constrixi jute!" _I hissed at the book. "Come on...come on, touch the book, Benji!" I felt ridiculous, talking to rats. In all fairness, the rat had a right to be wary. I had done a lot of "Fake-Death" practicing on him, and now this spell as well, even though so far, it had been unsuccessful. "Come on...that's it..." he edged forward, finally nosing the book reluctantly. I held my breath, waiting for something to happen, anything-and nothing did. I sighed, shoulders slumping, dejected.

"I need to get this," I mumbled. "Soon."

I wondered offhand how Randy was coming along with the Portkeys.

Later that day, the werewolves began to arrive. I had shredded and burnt the paper with the spell a long time ago after memorizing it, but still I felt incredibly like I could be discovered, like my secret was tattooed on my forehead.

"We leave tonight," Voldemort said before retiring to his room. I left soon after that under the pretense of going to my own, while everyone else was repairing, screaming and correcting each other over the plan. I was going to Randy's.

I quickly thumbed through the seventh year charms book, looking for the one that I knew I had glimpsed at some time or another-ah. Extension Charm.

I preformed it quickly, hoping it would be enough to hold all fifty of the Portkeys, and dissaparated straight into Randy's shop.

"Randy?" I called up. "Are you here?" A flicker of panic pulled at my heart when there was no reply. I scampered upstairs, already envisioning the worst-

"Ra-oh," I chuckled softly. He had fallen asleep on his work table, wand in one hand.

"Susanna!" He woke with a start, jumping down from the table, his cheek red with the imprint from the wood. "Must've dosed off!" he muttered. "They're done...all of them. When touched, it will bring the Death Eaters into an abandoned house in South America. This particular house has apparation shields as well."

"I'm sure I couldn't have found better Portkeys anywhere," I beamed as he dumped them in the bag, both of us careful not to touch them. "And that's bloody brilliant! How ever did you manage that? The house in South America, I mean?"

"It helps to know people who owe you favors, as you are realizing," he smiled, nodding at me. "I suppose you can't stay, can you?" He asked, sounding a bit disappointed.

"No, I've got to go place these before anyone gets suspicious," he nodded, accepting. "Miss Susanna, why do I get the feeling this is the last time I'll be seeing you?" He thought aloud, and not for the first time, I wondered if his wisdom went beyond wisdom, and into...something else. Was he a seer?

"I don't think so, Randy," I sighed. "But I won't forget you."

"It's impossible to forgot those who's lives we have saved," he smiled, and the crow's-feet on the corners of his eyes crinkled. "Bye, now. And good luck!" he called.

"Good-bye, Randy," I smiled, dissaparating with a pop.

Hogwarts. I shivered unconsciously as I got as close as I could that the apparation boundaries would allow me. I was here alone, and I had to place the items as quickly as I could.

And I couldn't cross any further.

I was so close, but...

Some invisible barrier was preventing me from entering, some unseen force-

"Professor Dumbledore, help me!" I called out in a sudden moment of inspiration. The air rippled in front of me, and I almost heard Dumbledore's voice through the air...

_"At Hogwarts, help will always be given to those who ask for it..." _and then the voice faded. I shivered again, not ever tearing my eyes away from Hogwarts. Well, at least the tiny blob of a castle that was visible from here. Where I would have been, living a completely normal life, if it had not been for one prophecy. But, I realized with a start-if I was there, I would be dead within the day, and so would all of my friends.

I went to work, thankful for the first time at the care with which Voldemort made us memorize the places we would be standing. Far enough away from each other that we would not be within shouting distance-that was the only flaw in the plan. But we had to surround it completely, was _his _theory.

And my own plan? Well, there was never a more if-riddled strategy. _If _they saw the Portkey. _If _curiosity won out and they picked it up, or even tried to touch it. I_f _the rope binding spell was not too out of my league of magical ability.

I took a deep breath. I would have to preform the spell fifty times. I looked down at the gloves I had worn-Randy had assured me they would be sufficient protection against activating the portkeys _myself_. That would be just my luck...I hoped Dumbledore was right in believing in me, and right in thinking that this would be their only attempt at attacking Hogwarts if they were defeated once.

I stood on the brink of the field of on one side of Hogwarts, the wind pulling at my hair, yanking playfully on my robes. As if it was anticipating what was to come.

_"A capite ad calcem constrixi jute," _I whispered, and for the first time, violet sparks burst forth from my wand, and a trail of pure energy of the same color enveloped the Portkey.

I smiled, walking to the next location and repeating the progress. And the next, and the next, and the next.

When I was finally done, my heart was pounding in fear that I was too late-I ran out of the boundaries of apparation, and disappeared back into my room.

"Susanna!" A voice roared, and I opened my eyes to the pounding door. "Open your door!" The voice of Macnair demanded.

"Oh-sorry!" I squeaked, jumping up and pulling open the door, trying not to stammer or blush at my close call, or jump into the air at my good luck. "I didn't hear you knock."

"You must be deaf, then. I've been pounding for a good minute. Should have blasted it open..." he muttered to himself. "Come on, everyone is waiting for you!" He growled, obviously extremely displeased to have been the one to fetch me.

We put on our masks. I held in my excitement-if everything worked, this would be the last time I had to pull on the silver mask. Everything was a blur-Voldemort shouting instructions and torturing one poor soul who had misplaced their mask, the evil laughing, the air tainted with the wet-fur smell of werewolves and stale blood...

Finally, it was time to dissaparate.

"As we get in toward the castle, wait on my command! We must first allow those who wish to fight with us to evacuate the castle," Voldemort called before vanishing.

I apparated, holding my breath and willing myself not to blink. I couldn't miss a second of this. My palms were drenched with sweat, and my heart was in my throat. I couldn't swallow: every nerve in my body tingled with adrenaline and pure terror.

I stood on the brink of the very field I had just left, and the wind had picked up, violently whipping my robes.

I looked to the right and left of me, ripping the mask from my face and letting a small scream fall from my lips as my stomach plummeted with a swoop of excitement. I looked down to where I had placed my own portkey in case there was any confusion and I was not the only one in my designated area-careful not to touch it, I began to run the circumference of the castle, checking for Death Eaters.

I ran until I had a stabbing stitch in my side and my heart was pounding furiously. The muscles in my legs trembled and shook, and I was close to falling down. I must have run at least two miles-and there was not a soul in sight. I dropped to my knees, frantically looking for any portkey- if they hadn't taken them, and advanced without me, then I would be discovered as a traitor-they would have already broken through Dumbledore's protection by now, and stormed through to the castle-

"Susanna Guant," a slow, careful voice enunciated every syllable, and in that terrifying moment, my life flashed before my eyes. Already on my hands and knees, the sand flying in the wind making my eyes burn, I turned around, limbs shaking not only from exhaustion but now sheer, complete terror. "You traitor," he laughed calmly. "Crucio!" He suddenly screamed, but I was ready.

It took all of my energy to roll out of the way.

Alright, Dumbledore, I thought through my haze, a crazed light gleaming in Voldemort's red eyes. A little help now would be nice!

Nothing came. "Expelliarmus!" I yelled, but he deflected it with a simple swipe of his wand.

"Susanna, Susanna," he clucked his tongue. "I want the last few minutes of your life to be spent grovelling to me...bowing at my feet, and pleading for mercy..."

"Never, you evil bastard!" He laughed, his head thrown back. I stood to meet him, wand out and looking him in the eye.

"Going to go out fighting, yes?" Voldemort sneered. "You wouldn't deprive me of the groveling for mercy, would you? Bow to me, Susanna. Yes, bow!" He snarled.

"Never," I gritted my teeth. But through some unseen force, he lifted his wand, and my back was pushed down, some invisible hand pressing down on me, making me bend until I could no longer hold my own against it. I shot back up as soon as the pressure was relieved, stumbling as I tried to regain my balance.

"I want you to realize...you trusted me...I got in past you, into your inner circle...I tricked you...I outsmarted you!" I shouted. Voldemort's face contorted with fury.

"Crucio!" He screamed, and I had no time to block with my wand-I dropped to the ground, nose an inch from the dirt, chest hurting from the sudden drop. Adrenaline was coursing through my veins, and all traces of exhaustion and pain disappeared from my body. There was nothing but Voldemort and me now.

"Very good," he chuckled. "And my followers, where are they?"

"They're gone," I hissed through gritted teeth, relishing in my victory. "And you'll never know how I did it."

"I appreciate the cleverness, even if it was done against me," he nodded, sneering. "It was those objects lying in the grass from our house, was it not? But unfortunately, I, sensing a trap, came straight to you. To kill you. Yes, Susanna. You outsmarted me in the beginning. But now, in the end, when it counts the most..._I _will outsmart _you. _And you will die. Crucio!" He screamed again, and this time it caught me with full force, sending me down onto my knees, vision tunneling and back arching.

"It won't matter than, will it?" I cried, looking up at him with loathing clear in my eyes the minute the pain lets up. "Because you've failed! You've failed! I've saved all of them, and _you lost!" _I snarled, rising to my feet. He gave a nasty grin.

"Good-bye, Susanna. _Dolor bardacessum maxima!" _He roared, fury contorting his face. I recognized a bit of latin in that-something about slow, painful death. And the maxima was obvious. I ducked out of the way, just in time.

"Protegostupefy!" I roared the two spells, blending together and coming out through my wand immediately.

"Pathetic," he whispered, blocking my spell with ease. "You do not have the courage to kill me. But why? I have seen you kill."

"I never killed a soul," I hissed through gritted teeth, face dirty with sweat and dirt.

"Lies," Voldemort spat. "Now face me properly. Crucio!" He screamed the torture curse and I ducked under it, flying at him. He wasn't expecting the physical attack, and it looked like his wand fell out of his hand as he opened his mouth in shock. I put my knee on his chest, wand tip to his throat. "You deserve to die," I snarled. "But I don't think I'm the one who gets to have that honor," I basked in the terror in his eyes. Terror, and something...else.

"No," he smiled suddenly. "But, dear Susanna, _I _get the honor of killing _you." _

He flew up, pushing me off of him and I crumpled onto the ground-he had his wand, he had never dropped it-my own wand flew out of my hand-I lunged to grab it, but his foot came down on my hand, hard-he twisted, and I cried out in pain-

"_Dolor bardacessum maxima!" _He screamed, his wand an inch from my face.

He stood up, but I only saw him through a dull, red haze.

"What-Ahhhhhh!" I screamed a long, drawn out shriek. Something in my heart-it was being torn apart. My insides were burning-consciousness was fading. I would die alone out here, losing to Voldemort. But saving thousands of lives.

That thought would comfort me, I thought dreamily. It would be my last thought. A pleasant one.

"You see, Susanna," he said softly. "I won in the end," and then he was gone.

I didn't know how long I laid there-but I knew I wouldn't die laying down. I sat up, and it took all my energy-I screamed in pain, my chest heaving of its own accord-something was changing in me-I looked at my hands. They were becoming smaller, less bony-I looked down to my legs-they were transforming, filling out to become-

Mine.

I was becoming Lily again. I _was _Lily again. I almost wept with joy when I saw my hair-red. All traces of blonde were disappearing, and I knew if I had a mirror my eyes would be green, and I would have freckles. Even if it was only for the last few minutes of my life.

The transformation sent shudders of pain through my, and tears squeezed through my eyes.

I just wanted this all to end.

"Lily?!" A voice roared. I continued to search for my wand-I was hallucinating, I knew that. Otherwise, how could I be hearing the voice of-

"Hagrid?" My voice cracked as he came into view. I was clutching my stomach, running my fingers along the ground feebly in an attempt to find my wand.

"Lily Evans? Where have yeh-what are yeh-what's happened?" He lumbered forward, the ground trembling slightly. I sank again to the ground-I no longer had any energy left. Night was falling quickly. It would be my last. I drew in a shuddering breath.

"Hagrid-Voldemort-he-he," I spluttered. "Take me-castle," I panted heavily, pain gripping at my insides, wringing out my lungs.

Without a word, Hagrid scooped me up, crying loudly.

"Lily...what's happened to yeh? Jus' wait-hang on-DUMBLEDORE!" He bellowed with all his might. I started to cry harder as the pain increased, and Hagrid looked down at me with a terrified expression. "What's he done to yeh-haven' seen this before-jus' wait-"

"Hagrid, what-" Dumbledore's face came into view. I don't know how he got there. Every other thing was secondary to the pain. I couldn't concentrate. I think I blinked, but it must have been much longer-the next time I opened my eyes I was in Dumbledore's office.

"Pomfrey?" I croaked. The pain was increasing even more, and that was all I could get out. I hoped he would understand.

"She cannot stop death," he said grimly, and I lost my grip on reality once more as he continued doing whatever he was doing. I realized I was lying on his desk, and I heard a great sobbing sound in the few hazy moments when I came to. Hagrid was in the corner.

"Lily, keep your eyes on me. I need you to concentrate. I know it's hard, Lily. Look here. Look in my eyes," Dumbledore coaxed me softly. I focused and unfocused my eyes-it was like trying to get a grip on water. I glimpsed his fuzzy outline through a haze of tears and pain.

"Good, Fawkes," he murmured to a fiery, Phoenix-looking bird beside him. The bird looked like it was-crying.

Dumbledore slipped some of the tear into my mouth, and I swallowed in a choking, hacking sort of way.

The atmosphere around me started to clear up-the stabbing, burning pain subsided into a dull ache. My limbs still felt incredibly heavy, like lead.

"Just as I thought," he said grimly. "Phoenix tears can only...go so far," he said. "Miss Evans, you are able to concentrate now, correct?"

"Yes," I mumbled, barely audible. He nodded.

"Yes. There is a way I can save you...yes, but you will have to be put to sleep."

"To sleep?" I murmured, and Hagrid let out a great, heaving sob. For the first time, I noticed that McGonagall and Slughorn were in the room, and they both looked miserable.

"How did they get here?" With great effort, I pointed a shaking finger at the two professors.

"Walked, I believe," Dumbledore smiled, but it did not reach his eyes. He was extremely worried. I was, too. I was going to die. "Lily, the healing process will take a very, very long time. Your internal organs have begun to liquify. Not enough to kill you, not yet. But healing will take...quite some time."

"But you can save me?" I asked eagerly. "I won't die?"

"No," Dumbledore shook his head. "But-it will take ten years. And in this, you will be living a half-life. Very little to no physical activity for the first few years...you cannot be excited, meaning your cannot be around more than a few people at once..."

"That's not a life," a whimpered, eyes tearing up again.

"I quite agree. However, there is another way...two years. Two years will be the price...but in order for your body to heal with such rapidity, you must be put into a deep sleep. You will remain here, aging normally, but otherwise you will be unable to be wakened. Do you agree? You must decide now, Miss Evans-the spell continues to deteriorate your organs, even with Fawkes's temporary help," he said sternly, as if pushing me to answer a question faster.

"Would-would any one else know I was here?" I asked.

"No. That would remain between the professors of Hogwarts, rest assured."

"A-alright," I took a heaving, shaky breath. "Two years. I'll be twenty," I didn't think I had said the last bit aloud, but Dumbledore nodded.

"There is no time to waste. Congratulations and celebration will very much be in order when you awake, Miss Evans. You have been very missed," he told me. "But you could not have done a more spectacular job, Lily. I could not be more proud." This time, his smile reached his eyes. "Sweet dreams, Lily. Dreams...they are entirely private, entirely our own. Free to be explored as long as we stay asleep...I wish you the best, Lily," he gripped my hand. "Until then."

McGonagall and Slughorn moved forward, and together, the three of them began to murmur incantations, moving their wands in synchronization. Hagrid sobbed loudly, and I offered him a last smile. No, not a last smile, I corrected myself as my eyelids began to grow heavy. Not even a goodbye smile, I realized. Just...until...next time...

Then everything around me faded, and I slipped away, the faces of the thousands saved swimming before my eyes...

**A\N Not very long for the long wait, I apologize…but now Lily's back! I'm sorry if I didn't reply to all of the reviews, the last few weeks have been VERY hectic. Reviews are always appreciated!**

**-C**


	13. Chapter 13

**I owe you guys all a huge apology. I am seriously EXTREMELY and PROFOUNDLY sorry that I have been neglecting my duties as an author to KEEP WRITING. I won't bore you all with excuses but here is chapter 13, I apologize once more, and the next chapter will be up SOON. I appreciate you all and thanks to those who PM'd me with encouragement to keep going and the faithful reviewers!**

**Chapter 13-2 Years Later**

_Without a soul my spirit's sleeping somewhere cold, until you find it there and lead it back home...Wake me up inside, call my name and save me from the dark. -Evanescence "Bring Me Back To Life"_

I slowly opened my eyes. For a moment, I couldn't remember where I was. I didn't recognize where I was. I sat up, scared. I looked down to the flash of red hair that had caught my eye-so I was Lily now, Not Susanna. My hair...it was longer. A _lot _longer. Almost to my waist. It looked like I hadn't been cutting it in ages; the edges were completely split, several inches through.

Standing up and turning around, I came face to face with the place I had been sleeping. A bed with a Gryffindor quilt and pillows was the only thing in a small section cut off from the rest of the room by a curtain. And the rest of the room...

I slowly moved the curtain to the side with my hands-Dumbledore's office.

An unintentional gasp of surprise tumbled from my lips-the memories were rushing back to me in a torrential flood.

"Lily? Lily! You're awake!" I hadn't realized I had disrupted a conversation until Hagrid stood abruptly from Dumbledore's desk, rushing to me and enclosing my into a bone-crushing hug.

"Ouch, Hagrid! Can't breath!" I gasped, but I didn't really care. If what I had remembered was true-I hadn't gotten a hug in two years.

"Oh-sorry, Lily. It's jus'-I haven' seen yeh in so long!" My feet touched the floor again and Hagrid let out deep sobs, pulling out a table-cloth sized hanky from his pocket, blowing his nose loudly.

"It's alright, Hagrid," I grinned furiously, patting his arm. "It's alright. I'm back now. Dumbledore-Professor Dumbledore, I mean-hello!" I beamed madly, sashaying a bit, revelling in the feeling of being awake again. My dreams were fading, forgotten, into the dark recesses of my mind.

"Welcome back, Miss Evans," he grinned, blue eyes twinkling. "No need to call me Professor anymore-you are no longer my student," Dumbledore had a bit more grey mixed in with his auburn hair, and a few more wrinkles with stories to tell. But he was still my beloved headmaster.

"Oh, yeah...I'm twenty, aren't I...It is alright if I still call you that? Old habits die hard," I said, looking down at my body in shock. It had changed noticeably. I had become less of a teenager and more of a woman. It was so strange to watch myself change like that, all in what felt like one night.

"Yes, Lily. And yes again-call me whatever you wish. I do believe you have earned that, and more. The Professors wanted to welcome you back, but you picked lunchtime to come back, I'm afraid," he smiled with humor. "They shall be upstairs soon, I predict. Get ready for a _very _hearty welcome," his eyes twinkled.

"Oh, I am, sir!" I beamed. "Can I-can I look around? The castle, I mean?"

"All in due time, Miss Evans. First, we must-come in!" he interrupted himself at the knock of the door.

"Albus, is she-Lily!" McGonagall turned a shade of white that I had never seen on a human before. She looked like she had seen a ghost-or not a ghost, maybe-those were too common. She looked as though she had just seen Slughorn in a skirt. Only maybe not so repulsed. "Oh, Miss Evans, it is ever so good to have you back!" She put both hands on my shoulders and smiled at me fondly, eyes slightly misty. For her, this was equal to a motherly embrace. Professor Sprout was next to enter, and she was a bit more physical with her welcome.

"Lily! You've wakened!" She yelled with joy, seizing me into such a tight hug that my feet almost left the floor.

"It's about time, right?" I grinned as she released me.

"Welcome back, Lily! Great to see you!" Slughorn stepped into the room, shaking my hand vigorously. This continued for a while until I had been re-introduced to everyone, and I was happier than I had been in-well, years. The changes age had laid onto all of the professors was noticeable, but slight. I couldn't stop staring at everyone, wide-eyed. The longer I was awake, the more I was beginning to feel the true time that I had really slept.

All the professors sat down around me like I was one of them, and I was asked to tell the story. I made them gasp and flinch with the tales of muggle-raids, made them laugh and exclaim "clever girl!" when I told them about the fake death spell and the whole Portkey incident, and made Hagrid sob when I recounted the final battle in which I had almost died.

"Now, we must all give Miss Evans some space, she has just recovered!" Dumbledore stood up, clapping his hands together.

"Professor, why aren't I hungry, or thirsty, or anything?" I asked suddenly, the thought just occurring to me. I didn't voice it aloud, but-how did I not have to go to the bathroom?

"All of that has been taken care of, magically," Dumbledore explained simply. "You needn't worry. We wouldn't let you starve," he chuckled. "And now, before you go gallivanting around the castle, we have one matter to discuss-your parents. You must speak to them. Shortly after I put you to sleep I contacted Mr. and Mrs. Evans, and they were quiet distraught. I promised I would notify them as soon as you were fit to wake."

The professors began to say their good-byes. It was Saturday, May thirty-first, 1978, according to Dumbledore. So the teachers had no classes, but I could tell they wanted to give me time alone with my parents when we spoke.

"And do they know the story?" I asked, fidgeting.

"Somewhat. The version I gave them has been _much _watered down, as to not give them both heart failures," he smiled. "They will be flooing over as soon as I alert them. Are you prepared?" I nodded without hesitation. I had been ready since I left.

I waited in the chair of his desk as he called them through the fireplace, twitching with anxiety as I tried to control myself so I wouldn't jump out of the chair and weep on the ground at the sound of my mother's voice.

"Lily?" She gasped as she came into view minutes later, stepping out of the fireplace with my father behind her.

"Lily!" He roared, opening his arms.

"Mum! Dad!" I cried, tears beginning to stream down my face as I flung myself into my parents arms.

We stayed like that for a while, them asking me rapid-fire questions about my health and my experience in between sobbing, and I asked them the same.

"Where's Petunia?" I swiped at my eyes for the tenth time. Dumbledore had tactfully began to hum, looking through his bookcase, back to us.

"She's with Vernon, sweetheart. They're married now. They have a son-Dudley. She doesn't know you're back yet," Mum answered, eyes red. Both of them had sprouted grey, but their faces remained the same. I thought my heart would break with happiness.

"I just-wait, I'm an aunt?" I gasped.

"Yes!" My mother nodded happily.

"The both of them are quite spoiling that Dudley though, he's going to grow up bigger than his father if they keep letting him eat all of those sweets," my father sighed. Then he realized what he had just uttered. "Don't tell your sister I said that," he added hastily.

I laughed much harder than the comment called for-it was so good to be back!

"Professor, can I see my friends? They're not here, of course, I know that-but..can I?" I asked shyly. My parents immediately sobered up. "Oh! And-and Voldemort! Is he dead yet?" I asked timidly.

"No, he is still at large," Dumbledore said sadly, joining in the conversation. "And about your friends-well, before you give them the shock of your life...you should know that you have options."

"Options?" I asked, baffled. "What kind of options?" I wanted to see them now, and explain! What else was there to decide?

My parents looked at each other uneasily. "What's going on?" I asked suspiciously.

"My dear, have you ever heard of Daivat Frobisher?" Dumbledore asked.

"David Frobishire?" I asked, fumbling the name.

"Daivat Frobisher," Dumbledore corrected.

"No, I haven't," I turned to face him. "Who is he?"

"He is a legend. A bed-time story told to wizard children. Greatly exaggerated. They say he controls the four elements, has developed many advanced magical devices-the latter is true."

"D'you mean to say..." I slowly began. "This Daivat guy is real?"

"He is," Dumbledore nodded solemnly.

"Well...what does he have to do with me, exactly?" I asked.

"Lily, it is not the best idea to see your friends at this moment," my mum turned to me, taking my face in her hands.

"What? Why not?" I was baffled.

"Think about it, dear. It's been three years, almost," Dad slowly began. "Don't you think there's a chance that they...well, they may be angry that you disappeared for so long, with no contact, that they no longer wish to remain friends with you?" I blinked furiously.

"What?" I did a double take. "No-that's not possible. Six years of friendship cannot be undone by three years' disappearance," I said firmly. But...three years. I had been gone for a third of the time I'd known them. I began to feel uneasy, but then pinched myself. How could I doubt my best friends? They had gone to Diagon Alley looking for me!

"In normal cases, no," Dumbledore spoke up. "But this is no normal case."

"What are you saying?" I cried. I thought of Marlene, Dorcas, Emmy, Alice, Sirius, Remus, James...

"It is not wise to attempt to see them now," my mother looked into my eyes. "But...there is another...something...that we can do, although it does seem a bit far fetched," she said dryly as Dumbledore chuckled.

"And it could mean another few weeks away from us," my father voiced.

"But in the end, if you succeed, another three years of your life could very well be yours again," Dumbledore's newest statement overrode them all.

"What do you mean?" I was immediately hung up on this idea, but also weary: if he was suggesting what I thought, I didn't want to get my hopes up. Even with what I had been through in the past years...it seemed _impossible._

"Sweetheart, we should go, and let Dumbledore do his job...if you agree, we'll come back again to see you," my mother promised solemnly, pulling me into a hug. My father put his arms around both of us until Dumbledore cleared his throat politely.

"We'll see you soon, Flower," my dad promised before they stepped into the fireplace, green flames swallowing them both one at a time.

"Your parents do not favor the idea. But I did not want them to influence you in such a life-changing choice," Dumbledore said cryptically.

"Oh," I said simply, not knowing what else to say.

"I would never force you on another such expedition, Lily. But let me explain-this Daivat Frobisher, the stuff of legends, is indeed, quite real. And he is an old friend of mine. Granted, we have not spoken for many years. But, if you are able to find him, with which I can offer you assistance...you must leave without announcing your intentions to anyone, because I have given my word not to help someone along to where he resides unless it is urgent," he said gravely.

"And...you make it sound like you don't know where he lives."

"I don't. But I know, vaguely, how to guide someone there."

Great. That answer was straight and uncomplicated. _Not._ "I don't understand."

"I wouldn't expect you to, not without explanation. I can give you a map. This map will reveal a small section of where you need to go at a time-it could take a very long time until you finally get there. Weeks, at the most. Maybe several months if you are extremely unlucky. But, fail or succeed, you will have another adventure to tell your grandchildren," he smiled jovially. "And this is much less perilous than the first journey you were sent on," he said apologetically.

"Alright, I think I understand. But, one more question...how...can this guy help me?" I wondered.

"If he agrees, that is. Daivat is _very _particular in whom who chooses to assist," Dumbledore corrected. "But, if he agrees, he can turn back time, letting you re-enter around the exact time that you left, and no one would be any the wiser about it except you."

"But then the thousands would die. He would still attack Hogwarts," I said bluntly.

"Pardon me, Lily. I seemed to have forgotten to mention that bit. This..this sort of very advanced time turner he has created...he is the original inventor of the time turner, you know, and has been developing more advanced models ever since. Anyway, this particular time turner has a special sort of distinction that has taken many, many years to perfect. But it is now perfected down to the last button."

"So you're saying," I began. "If I could succeed, I could turn back time, literally, not just _travelling _back in time like a regular time turner, but actually erase what's happened...start over completely...and still Susanna would exist, but just to stop Voldemort?" I asked, a bit confused.

"Close," Dumbledore nodded. "Susanna would not exist. But something else would, absolutely for certain, as certain as Susanna-yourself-did, stop Voldemort from accomplishing his feat."

"And no one else would remember?" I asked excitedly. "Except me?"

"Correct. Possibly, if given time, it will fade from your memory as well, more rapidly than other memories."

"That would be nice, I think," I told him thoughtfully. "I've seen a lot of things I want to forget."

"I suppose you have. And, Lily, if one person, theoretically, were to find you, and wish to join you in your search...and if this person were trustworthy...it might seem rather wise to allow them to accompany you, does it not?"

"Alright," I wrinkled my eyebrows, a bit confused. What did that have to do with anything?

"And, of course, if you were to find a companion for your journey..." he trailed off. "And if you were to succeed, he-or she-would not remember it either, if you succeeded in turning back time.

"It seems rather perfect, does it not?" Dumbledore said, referring to everything in general.

"It does," I breathed.

"Of course. Fate has taken so much from you these past three years...now it is time to overcompensate," he smiled wisely.

"I hope so," I said grimly. "When can I start looking for him?" I inquired eagerly.

"Soon," Dumbledore promised. "Today, perhaps. And now...your wand. We must re-institute it to it's original form," he held his own wand up. "Accio," he said clearly, and my wand zoomed neatly into his hand. He muttered several words, and with a shudder, it was back to normal.

All ten and a quarter inches of dragon heartstring core. The willow wood was a deep, shining tan-the wand was completely straight and had swirling, intricate designs that laces the handle and spiralled up, thinning out into the tip.

"I've missed this," I admitted, swishing my wand. "Even if it was the same wand all along."

"To be expected," Dumbledore smiled.

"Oh!" I gasped, suddenly remembered something. I quickly grasped the inside of my left arm, taking deep breaths, preparing myself for when I pulled up the robe. "Is it..." I asked timidly, looking at Dumbledore's face, unable to read his emotions.

"See for yourself," he answered, and I slowly pulled up my sleeve.

So far, nothing but the occasional freckle...nothing still-I yanked it up the rest of the way.

"No," I let out the breath I had been holding, relief and happiness flooding in.

"Would you like to walk around the castle while you think?" Dumbledore said kindly. "It is a Hogsmeade weekend, so no older students will be in the castle, and none of the younger students will recognize you," he promised.

"Oh, can I?" I gasped. He nodded, showing me the door. I had never been more excited to run around Hogwarts.

"Oh, and Lily?" He called after me. I turned around, halfway out the door. "When stuck between where you want to go and where you're stuck, I find that ginger wallops often help me decide," he smiled strangely. "Goodbye, now!"

I nodded, too excited to be mystified over this odd comment. I bolted out the door, running into the hallway and stopping, absorbing everything I could lay my eyes upon.

The same portraits lined the windowed halls, the torches lit with magical fire attached to the wall continued to give the place a mystical feel. I ran down the corridors, my memory not failing me even when the stairs decided to change their endpoints just as I was scrambling up one flight. I was going to the Gryffindor common room-I could think clearly there. I beamed at all of the portraits, and after several accusations of being kissed-the portraits' explanation for me not telling them why I was so happy-I finally made it to the Fat Lady.

"Hello!" I beamed, standing there. She hadn't changed at all, of course-she couldn't.

"Password," the Fat Lady said, bored, not looking up from the stack of sheet music she was shuffling. Oh no, I groaned inwardly. Just before I had left for Hogwarts, the picture guarding the common room for Gryffindor had taken a liking to opera-unfortunately, opera hadn't taken a liking to her.

I just hoped she wasn't going to sing for me.

She looked up, and the sheet music went flying.

"Li-Li-Lily Evans, it's Lily Evans!" she shrieked, face tinging red. "Oh, merlin-oh, merlin-I'd heard the rumors of course, running off with a former Death Eater-after you changed his ways, of course, making him see the error of evil-but-but tragically, no one was willing to believe that he was now on the side of good, so you both ran off to elope halfway across the world, never to be seen again!" Her voice rose with each word, as did my eyebrows. So _that _was what the portraits had invented. "Oh Lily, was he quite handsome?" She fluttered her eyelashes at me.

"Erm, very," I agreed, not wanting to spoil her fantasy. "Romantic, too. Erm-d'you think you could let me in, possibly?" I cringed.

"Have you got the password, my dear?" She smiled broadly at me.

"Well, see, that's the problem-I haven't really been here for quite some time, if you'll recall...so I was wondering, maybe just this once, could you possibly-" I stopped myself. What was that Dumbledore had said, just before I left? When I found myself between the place where I wanted to be and where I was stuck...ginger snaps...no, ginger bread...

"Ginger wallops!" I remembered, snapping my fingers.

"On the dot," the Fat Lady beamed, swinging open to reveal the gold-and-scarlet room within. Several first and second years stopped their conversation, looking at me oddly, a bit scared. I looked too old to be a seventh year. Grinning broadly and ignoring their whispers I crossed the room, plopping myself down on the cozy couch in front of the fireplace and closing my eyes blissfully. If I tried not to think too hard, I could imagine that I was still in sixth year, when the biggest worries I had were grades and the next time James Potter was going to prank me.

James Potter. My eyes flew wide open-was he mar-

"Excuse me?" A short, blond-haired girl sat on the edge of the couch next to me. "Who are you?"

"Oh-I-" I stopped myself. Dumbledore hadn't said specifically not to say who I was...but I guess he had just figured that I would automatically assume that. "Susanna," I blurted the first feminine name that came to my mind. "I used to go to school here."

"In Gryffindor?" The girl asked excitedly. "Are NEWTS hard? Are OWLS hard?"

"Yes, and yes," I laughed. "But nothing studying won't help you with."

"My name's Katy," the girl extended her hand. "I'm in first year. I'm muggle-born."

"I'm muggle-born too," I told her, and her grin spread. She had large brown eyes that twinkled with mischief. Like James's did, I thought randomly. "Well, I'm going to go up to the sixth year dorm to visit it, alright? I'm just going to look around, I haven't been here in quite some time. See you, Katy," I stood up, waving.

"Bye, Susie!" The girl exclaimed, already giving me a nickname. I chuckled to myself, hoping it was empty when I walked in.

To my relief, it was-the room looked very much the same, except for the obvious-it had new owners. I sat down on the floor next to my old bed, not wanting to leave any clue that some stranger had been in the room. I leaned my head against the bed, closing my eyes and thinking. If I succeeded with Daivat...should I even allow myself to get my hopes up, I wondered? What if I couldn't find it? What if he wouldn't allow me?

Another thought crossed my mind, unfinished by way of earlier interruption.

Was James Potter married? I wasn't sure why his name stuck out among all my other friends, particularly in that certain subject. But I was honestly curious.

I sat, deep in thought, for a long time. I finally stood, brushing off my robes and looking out the window. The grounds of Hogwarts, the Black Lake...the very edge of the Quidditch pitch. I missed flying so much. I missed everything. It was like I had been abducted sixth year, and dropped abruptly three years later. It wasn't pleasant. But still, if I could go back, I wouldn't choose differently.

I finally made my way back to Dumbledore's office-as I left my old room and common room, I vowed that this would not be the last time I saw them. I had decided, although, had there really been any doubt before? For me, there was only one choice. It wasn't even a decision. _Of course _I was going to find Daivat Frobisher.

"Welcome back, Lily," Dumbledore greeted me as I entered his office. He had left the gargoyle instructions to let me in without a password, apparently. "Have you made your decision?" He gestured to the chair in front of his desk. He was holding a large locket, ancient looking and bronze.

"I have. I want to find Daivat," I said with conviction.

"Very well. It wasn't much of a choice, was it?" he smiled knowingly.

"No, it wasn't," I agreed. "It's all just so...perfect." I was a bit suspicious, actually.

"Don't count your dragons before they're flying," Dumbledore said gravely. "There is a very large chance that you won't succeed at all, and end up in an even worse position than where you began."

Oh. Lovely.

My parents' goodbye was sad, but at least this time it was temporary.

"That's exactly what I would have done, Flower," my father murmured in my ear right before they left.

"We won't remember what you've done, and probably wouldn't believe you if you told us," my mother laughed a bit, talking into my hair. "But we are so, so proud of you, sweetheart. Nothing can change that, not even us forgetting the most heroic thing you've ever done. We love you," they both promised, and when they left, it didn't feel so sad. I would see them again, I knew it. Living as Susanna had taught me something important-no matter how bad, how sad I was-it could always be worse. I could always be isolated from everyone I loved, surrounded by those I despised, in a different body, living a lie. Sacrificing everything.

So I smiled and waved, and turned back to Dumbledore. "I'm ready."

"This locket is for you, Miss Evans. It contains the map," Dumbledore held up a large bronze locket on a long chair with several pearls. The locket itself looked very old, and the face was covered with intricate carvings. "Merely apparating or using any other type of fast magical travel is considered cheating. If you do this, the map will cease to work temporarily. This is to ensure that only the most determined to find him, do, and those asking for silly, trivial favors give up.

"The bit at a time that will be revealed to you, at least. Use it well. I cannot offer you more instruction than this, other than-good luck. And Lily, remember this-always make the right choice, simply because it is right. You never know when you are being watched, when you are being tested. Have a safe journey," he finished, wiggling his fingers. "You may want to stop in Diagon Alley to pick up travelling things. Take this," he pulled a leather pouch out of thin air, tossing it at me. I reached my hand up, grasping it before I could think-the heavy clank of coins was obvious.

"I can't take your money," I protested.

"I am not asking you, I am telling you," Dumbledore said firmly. "It's for a good cause, and I have much too much of it for my own use anyway," he said lightly. "Take it, and prepare to go. This bag has an undetectable extension charm...it should suffice well," he handed me a dull green muggle backpack. I fastened the locket around my neck-it was lighter than I thought.

"Also, a disguise..." he thought to himself for a moment. "There," he spun his wand, and dark purple and blue fabric was covering my hair down to the tips, and hid most of my face, except my eyes. "Only those who know you best, who still cling most to the hope that you will return, will recognize you now," his eyes twinkled with a knowing that I did not understand. "And now-farewell, Lily Evans. I will see you soon," he nodded at me. "Best to dissaparate now, while the opening is still...open," he smiled. I shook my head yes, smiling and clutching my new items. I dissaparated directly into the Leaky Cauldron, almost tipping over at the new sensation. I was still used to dissaparating as Susanna, but that would soon pass.

"Oh!" I jumped as a girl around five scampered across my path. "Thorry, mith!" She called with a lisp, bright blue eyes wide with shyness. Something about those eyes looked familiar...

"Ellee?" I asked timidly, not sure how I remembered her. She had been two the last and first time I had seen her-just a quick encounter, the first time I had come to Diagon Alley on Voldemort's orders to retrieve the box.

"That'th my name! Are you a theer?" She gasped.

"No," I chuckled at the curls that bounced around her head whenever she made the slightest move. "Just a lucky guess. My name's Lily."

"Why do you have that thcarf around your head?" she asked bluntly.

"Want to know a secret?" I bent down to a crouch, down to her level.

"Yeth," she lisped, smiling to reveal several missing teeth.

"It's a disguise," I whispered, unwinding the purple and blue scarf to reveal my face. "I can't let anybody know who I am. I'm on a mission. You won't tell, will you?" I smiled.

"I won't tell. It'th a pretty purple. What'th your name? How old are you? Did you go to Hogwartth? I'm gonna go there thomeday," her head tilted up, coppery curls springing back.

"Thank you," I laughed. A comment from a young child was the most sincere kind-they said what they thought. "My name is Lily, and yes, I went to Hogwarts."

"Ellee-Ellee, there you are! I have told you time and time again not to talk to..." Ellee's mother walked up to her daughter, gently taking her arm. "I'm sorry, I hoped she wasn't bothering you," she sent me an apologetic glance.

"Not at all," I laughed as she picked up her daughter. "It's quite alright. Have a nice day," I waved back at them, smiling until the second I saw Diagon Alley. And even then, my smile didn't stop-it only grew. I wound the scarf back around my face before I stepped onto the mostly empty street, remembering my disguise. There were a few families, bustling around with younger children who were pointing to various stores excitedly, and a few adults. I meandered slowly down the road, stopping at the ice cream parlour and purchasing my favorite flavor-strawberry-of ice cream.

I walked around the cobble-stoned streets, basking in the sun and wishing I could take off my scarf until I came to Madam Malkin's. I purchased new cloaks and robes, and several pairs of muggle clothes from a muggle goods store nearby that hadn't been there last time I had been here. I stopped to gawk longingly at the new broom in the Quidditch window-a flashy WhipSnap 2001. I put my fingers on the glass longingly, wishing with all my might that I could just run it a bit, just for a test run...even a minute...

"She's a beauty, isn't she?" A deep voice sounded behind me, and a pair of footsteps stopped. I could feel a presence over my right shoulder.

A _familiar _presence. And I would know that voice anywhere. Hardly breathing at all, I let myself look up in the reflection of the glass, slowly-

"Yes, she is. What kind of broom to you have?" I squeaked, hoping to keep my voice masked, trying to keep my identity a secret from James Potter. My eyes didn't leave his face in the glass-his black, messy hair had stayed exactly so-messy. I liked it that way. I had realized that too late. His glasses sat atop his nose, right over his hazel eyes full of not only mischief but sadness. Like a lot had happened since I had last seen him. I resisted the strong urge to throw my arms around him and ask him what was the matter, how he had been, and talk with him until my voice dried out with hoarseness.

But I couldn't talk to him. I couldn't let him know it was me. Maybe someday...but not today.

"I have a WhipSnap 1000," he laughed for a moment. "A bit outdated, but it still runs like magic," he wagged his eyebrows.

I let out a laugh, covering it up as quickly by clamping my hands over my mouth as it had started. I didn't dare look at his reflection anymore, but I couldn't help it-I snuck the briefest of glances, and he looked astounded. Shocked. Completely baffled. _He knew._

"I gotta go bye!" I rushed, ducking and slipping past him, no matter how much I wanted to turn back.

**PLEASE READ!**

**A\\N- With this whole Susanna scenario, some things didn't happen like they would have normally. Such as Harry being born, Lily and James getting married, the Order of the Phoenix, the prophecy about Harry defeating Voldemort, ect. And Voldemort does not have as much influence now as he did normally because things happened differently.**

**But trust me-there will still be a Harry, a prophecy, and a "Lily and James." ect. :) Just wait. Keep reading.** **It all seems perfect now, I know. But let's all remember how Lily and James's story really ends...and give them a bit of (possibly) slightly unrealistic happiness while they still can have it. :D -Cassia**


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14: Reunited**

_I've been watching your world from afar, I've been trying to be where you are, I've been secretly falling apart, unseen. To me, you're strange and you're beautiful, you'd be so perfect with me but you just can't see...you turn every head bu you don't see me -Aqualung "Strange and Beautiful"_

"Wait!" I felt a tug holding me back. He had a grip on my upper right arm, preventing me from going anywhere. "Wait." I struggled to keep my head down, away from his gaze-no-no, I thought desperately. I couldn't let him see me, couldn't let him-

But my eyes finally lifted of their own accord.

His own eyes widened ever further, bugging out completely when he saw the thin strip of my face that was all the scarf had to offer.

"Lily?" He gasped, hand trembling as he reached slowly for my scarf. "Lily, is that you?"

I closed my eyes as the scarf fell back around my shoulders, revealing my red hair, my face...everything. I opened my eyes, smiling a bit ruefully, looking at James's shocked expression.

"Lily-Lily-Evans-you-where-how-YOU'RE BACK!" He finally roared, settling on an exclamation. He grabbed me around the waist and lifted me off the ground, laughing with glee and hugging me furiously. My stomach was swooping madly, and I was laughing along with him. We continued to cling to each other even after he set me down, almost as if we were long-lost lovers rather than friends.

"What gave it away?" I beamed, happier than I think I had ever been, pulling my scarf back up.

"What do you think, Lily?" He rolled his eyes, still keeping his broad hands on my shoulders. "Those eyes-you're the only one I know with eyes that green, Lily. And your laugh, of course," he chuckled deeply, reminding me again of how much I missed his own laugh. "Now what's with this scarf? No-more importantly-we've got to catch up! Where have you been? No-are you alright? Wait, scratch it all-_what happened? _You've got to tell me everything!" He looked at me intently.

Suddenly, I was reminded of something Dumbledore had said to me earlier.

"_Lily, if one person, theoretically, were to find you, and wish to join you in your search...and if this person were trustworthy...it might seem rather wise to allow them to accompany you, does it not?"_

Somehow, Dumbledore must have known that I would meet up with James Potter. Once again, his strange wisdom baffled me. If I didn't know any better, I'd almost suspect that Dumbledore was trying to set James and me up...

"James, that will take quite a while. Hours, maybe," I laughed, linking my arm through his as he offered it. I shouldn't feel this content, seeing just _one _person from my past life: but I did. I felt absolutely perfect.

"I have hours," James waved his hand in the air dismally. "Take all week if you must, Lily!" He proclaimed.

"I very well might," I chuckled. "Shall we go into the Owl Emporium...yes, I think that's noisy enough-where we won't be overheard?"

"Top secret, eh?" James wiggled his eyebrows.

"Very," I knocked my shoulder against his. "But first, maybe, I should explain to you why I'm wearing this scarf."

"I never would have guessed...Daivat Frobisher...real?!" James's jaw dropped in awe. "And Dumbledore thinks he'll help us."

"Yes-wait. _Us, _James?" I looked at him sternly, one eyebrow raised.

"Oh, did that slip out?" He asked innocently, a smile twitching at the corners of his lips. He jumped, startled, as a particularly loud owl squawked near him, sending his glasses jumping to the end of his nose. I burst out into a fit of giggles, repositioning the spectacles with both of my hands.

"I've really missed you, you know," he said quietly, catching my hands on the way down. "It doesn't feel like it's been three years, does it?" He asked thoughtfully.

"No, it doesn't," I replied, completely agreeing. It felt like it had been a mere three hours since I had last seen him-and in the company of James, being Susanna seemed just a barely-memorable nightmare. "And I've missed you too. I really have. Even your incessant asking me out," I grinned up at him cheekily and he groaned, looking up at the ceiling.

"Trust you for that to be the only thing you remember," he rolled his eyes teasingly.

"It's not the _only _thing I remember!" I protested. "I remember that in Greece, we had started to be friends," I said softly, the memory warming my insides. He looked lost in thought as well, thinking of the times right before I had left.

"Before you left," he began. "The night before. The last words you told me...they have been playing over and over in my head. Every night. There's not a night that they don't. I barely slept the night you left-I had a feeling that it would be a long time before I saw you again. I had nightmares. And..when I woke up..." he looked up into my eyes. "The nightmare had come true. You were gone."

"Oh, James," I whispered as he opened his arms, folding my into them. I buried my face in his shoulder, holding back tears. It was strange, how quickly we slipped back into knowing each other, even when we had barely been civil to each other the first time around...

"You kids! Hey!" The grumpy store-keeper shouted. "If you're going to kiss, do it outside! This is no place for romantics! Buy an owl or get out!" He shook his wand menacingly at us.

"My apologies, sir, we were just-"

"I said get out!" He screamed, face going a shade of purple to rival Vernon's. Uncontrollably, I began to giggle. James shot me an odd look, but it wasn't long before he began to snort, holding in a laugh.

"_Are you two laughing at me?" _He hissed in a dangerously low voice, getting close into our faces, which looked funny, because he was at least a head shorter than me, and two heads shorter than James. "Out! Out! Out!" With every jab of his wand James's hair turned purple, then green, than back to black. Now I was laughing furiously, especially since he had just noticed what the storekeeper was doing. James was pulling a bit of his hair down in horror, gazing at his had-been colorful locks with dread.

"OUT!" He screamed again, and James pulled me by the hand as we scrambled out, tripping over our own feet and laughing until our sides hurt.

"That was-should have seen your face-he was _purple!" _I gasped, clutching my sides as James released my hand when we finally stopped for breath further down the street. We had been whooping and laughing gleefully all the way down-we had gotten many pointed glares, and of course, the whispers of "rowdy lovebirds!" traveled quite far when the whisperers wanted them to. Do you think either of us cared? If you answered no, you'd be correct.

"Hey!" James looked at me, pretending to be wounded. "If he would have changed _your _hair green-"

"And purple," I reminded him, sniggering again. "Don't forget purple. You looked quite cute in purple," I laughed, pulling up my scarf once more so it covered up an ample amount of my face.

"Thank you so much," James rolled his eyes, bowing. "And now, I do believe, it's due time for me to find out where exactly you disappeared to from Greece until now! You've only told my about Davait, not about where you've been."

I sobered up immediately.

"Alright. James, did you go off and get married?" I blurted suddenly.

"What? No," he looked at me oddly. "I already know you haven't, I..you know, checked your hand," he smiled cheekily, and I let out a noise of protest. But I was glad when he took my hand as we began to walk.

I started with the time Dumbledore had floo-messaged me to come to his office, and ended with Dumbledore putting me to sleep for two years. When I was finally done, it was at least an hour later, and my voice was hoarse from talking.

"Wow," James said quietly. "I can't believe...I never would have imagined...the portraits at Hogwarts-well, the Fat Lady and her friend Violet particularly, invented some wild story about you running off-"

"With a former Death Eater, yeah," I rolled my eyes. "She told me. What did _you _guys think happened to me when I left?" I asked anxiously.

"Sirius thought you were just pulling a prank on us, and that you'd be back any day, that you'd jump out from behind something and say, gotcha! Look how scared you all were!" James paused. "We thought it was his way of denying what happened. He never really accepted that you were gone...none of us did. Marlene thought Sirius's idea was ridiculous at first, but after a week or so of being gone she started to think the same thing. Whenever we went out and saw someone with red hair, we'd all gravitate toward the person just to make sure it wasn't you," he cracked a small smile. "In the beginning, we put up all these signs all over-and I do mean _all over_-wait a second-Knockturn Alley-that was you, wasn't it? That Susanna person?" I remembered what he was talking about right away.

"Yeah, that was me," I looked up at him.

"I knew there was something fishy about her," James shouted.

"Yes, well. Now, about Daivat Frobisher..." I looked at him hesitantly. He probably had a job, and his parents, he wouldn't want to come gallivanting around with an old friend to find a wizard that no one thought was real-

"I'm in!" James said excitedly. "When do we start?" I stared at him, speechless.

"James, what about-do you have a job? What about your parents? What are they going to think if you just disappear for a few weeks?"

"I'm training to be an Auror-almost there, by the way-I don't think they'd notice if I disappeared for a few days. And my parents are dead," he said bluntly.

"Oh, James," I breathed. "I'm sorry...they were such good people."

"I know, but it's been a while. I'm alright," he nodded.

I hugged him again, and this time he was leaning into me for support.

"I'm ready for an adventure, Lily-Flower," he grinned, straightening again. "When do we start? Can I owl Sirius and tell him to tell the rest of them not to worry?"

"Go ahead. But don't tell him I'm back, because...well, you know. We can tell all of them I'm back if we fail. If we succeed, there's no need."

"Alright!" he said eagerly.

That night we stayed at the Leaky Cauldron- James's parents had apparently left him a small fortune, and he easily rented two rooms.

"And this locket...it has the map?" He was asking doubtfully, sitting at the desk in my room, perching backwards on the chair.

"I guess. I haven't actually opened it yet," I shrugged, putting my fingernails between the opening clasp and pulling out.

Upon opening it-the locket visibly grew. I had to readjust my grip to keep it from slipping out of my fingers. On one inside face of the locket, there were swirling latin words inscribed. On the other side, was a bit of the map. It showed us now by a symbol with a star, and a faint arrow was pointing to the north.

"So, North then," James said. "That seems a bit vague."

"We should be able to do it, as long as we stay on track. James, do you by any chance speak Latin?"

"No, why?"

"There's a Latin message on this side," I pointed my pinky at the other side of the locket. "And I can't figure out what it says. I only know a bit of Latin from the spells we've learned.

"I don't know," James yawned, shaking his head.

"We should go to bed, you look exhausted," I pointed out, struggling not to yawn myself.

"A-a-alright," James yawned again. "Wake me up when you're ready for breakfast," he stumbled out of the room, yawning.

"Good night, James," I laughed.

"Promise you'll be here in the morning?" he stopped at my door frame.

"Promise.

"What are we supposed to do here? Are you sure this is the right place?"

"Positive! You know, it wasn't my idea to be crammed in a telephone booth with you, but the map stops pulsating if either of us steps out," I said crossly, adjusting my elbow so it wasn't bent behind me and smushed into James's stomach. We had followed to where the locket directed us, noses buried in it the whole time, down a muggle train-which, once we realized had gone _past _our destination, had ran screaming down to tell the conductor to stop. We ran out and followed the locket until the first location was in sight. As we grew closer, it pulsed with a soft, red light.

"I dunno. I think it's quiet cozy, don't you?" James chuckled deeply, looking down at the back of my head. I craned my neck to look backward and up at him.

"I think this would have worked if we were both in first year," I thought, twisting the wrong way and coming face to face with James, tripping forward and smushing against him. "Oh," I blushed until I was the girl equivalent of a fire hydrant. "Sorry." I took a step back, letting James un-plaster his back from the glass wall.

"S'okay," he grinned broadly. I'm sure I knew what whoever was watching right now was thinking-hopefully no one had seen that, but we _were _just off a street downtown. Not exactly _private._

"Look at all these chars things, Lily! Do all muggles drive those chars?"

"Cars," I corrected automatically, smile blooming on my face as I searched for some sort of clue. "Most of them do."

"I think that would be fun," James put a hand against the window, accidentally elbowing me in the ribs.

"Sorry!" He jerked back, looking horrified.

"It's okay," I gasped, massaging the rib. "Hey-look," doubling over had brought me face to face with the bottom of the telephone box-I crouched down as well as I could, looking up into the black bottom. "I think-this indent here is the exact shape of the locket," I mused, fingering the ovular shape.

"Can I see?" James tried unsuccessfully to bend over-there wasn't enough room for both of us to crouch.

"Yeah-hang on-" we awkwardly switched positions, and James's eyes lit up with the discovery once he confirmed they were identical.

"Should we try fitting it in there, I suppose?" I closed the locket with a snap, unclasping it while it shrunk back to it's original size.

"It's worth a go," James shrugged. "Can I see?" I handed him the locket and he twisted it until it lined up-

_"Dropping in three-"_

"What?" James jumped back in surprise, yanking out the locket and landing on the floor, knocking me down as well as the backs of my knees gave out.

_"Two-"_

"James!" I protested as we both sat, a tangled mess on the floor. Our legs were tangled up, and I was smushed into his side-"Try the door-" we both reached up for the handle in a tangle of arms and hands-

_"One-"_

"It's stuck!" James shouted, pulling at the handle.

"Zero. Prepare for the drop."

"Ahhh!" My scream mingled with James's as the floor disappeared-James was getting further and further away from me, and it was getting darker-

"Lily? Where are you?" He yelled.

"O-over here!" I said shakily, trying to stop my rapid descent down the extremely dark chute. I looked up to the telephone booth where the floor was rapidly closing over us.

I tried to scramble over the slick surface, and I could tell James was doing the same-

"Gotcha!" Our hands met and he pulled me into him, wrapping his arms around me securely, one first clenched with the locket so we would all stay together.

My heart was pounding wildly in fear-what if this was a trap?

"What if this was a trap?" James spoke my thought aloud. His voice, though whispered, echoed around the chute. The floor above us closed with a clang, and we were plunged into complete darkness. James pulled me tighter into his side and I wrapped my arms around his torso, fingers locked in the fabric of his shirt.

"I'm scared, James," I admitted in a whisper, closing my eyes against the dark, wind whipping over my skin and making me shiver. I turned my face into his side so the fierce wind wouldn't burn at my cheeks, and he did the same, shielding his own face with the top of my head.

"Me too," he chuckled boldly, squeezing me. "Is it just me, or are we leveling out?" our descent was slowing, and I slowly looked up, keeping my death grip on James.

"Whoa," I breathed as torches flickered on across the walls, lighting up the tunnel in which we had just shot down. We came to a stop on the smooth ground, skidding to a halt in front of a tunnel barely lit up by torchlight.

I suddenly realized how tightly James and I were holding each other, and tensed up.

"Oh," he jumped back as though electrified. "S-sorry."

I muttered something incomprehensible. That was the first time I had seen James stutter-I was thankful that the dim light covered my blush.

"Ah-here," he opened his fist with the locket, keeping his eyes down.

"Thanks," I murmured, fingers shaking with the aftershock of the fall as I clasped it around my neck. My muggle jeans were extremely dusty from sliding so long. At least it had been a smooth ride-you had to give Daivat that. If he was the one who set this up, and it wasn't just some big trap, I shivered at the ominous thought.

"Are we going to go down that tunnel?" James craned his neck, pointing down the archway. It looked empty, but our view was obscured by the first turn.

"We don't have much of a choice, do we?" I said shakily, twisting around and looking for another exit.

"What about the locket? Are we still on the right track?" James gestured to the metal oval around me neck.

"Oh-" I opened it, fingers still shaking, and brought it close to my face, squinting to make it out in the flickering light.

"We are!" I grinned. "And this tunnel-see that turn? It matches up with this one. I think this locket shows how to navigate the tunnel."

"Let's go, then!" James strode forward into the cob-web cornered tunnel. "Coming?" he turned around to me.

"Right behind you," I nodded, stepping forward, keeping the locket out, looking up only when I was in danger of running into a wall.

"Reghre..." a sort of growl shook the walls, dust raining down from the ceilings-James stopped dead in his tracks, a fact I noticed to late.

"Ooof-sorry!" I apologized, jumping back and slapping the locket closed. Maybe I should have kept my eyes to what was in front of me-the locket wasn't much help, anyway-there was no choice of turns. All we had to do was follow where it lead. So far, no obstacles. But that groan was questionable.

"What was that?" James whispered, hand going to his wand.

"I don't know-but-it sort of sounded like a dragon, didn't it?" I pulled my own wand out and we advance forward, slowly.

"After falling through the floor of a muggle telly-foon booth and sliding miles under the city, I wouldn't be surprised at anything," James admitted. Both of us jumped as the growl sounded again.

We continued forward, not seeing the source of the noise.

"A crossroads," James spoke, stopping at the fork. "What does the locket say?"

I opened the locket and gasped.

"This isn't a tunnel, James," I stared down at the now very intricate map that was displayed on the face. "It's a maze."

"I like mazes!" James proclaimed boldly. "We'll be out of this in no time. Which way do we turn? Toward the beastie-" he jerked his head toward the left, the general direction of the noise-"or _not?"_ he pointed his wand the other way."

"Not," I confirmed. "But there's probably something down that road, as well. So...right," we started down the prearranged path, slowly and cautiously. Suddenly, the maze had taken a turn for the scarier.

"Now I feel like there'll be something getting ready to jump out at me from every corner," I murmured, keeping my wand aloft. "And it's so dark in here, these torches aren't doing a thing-_lumos!" _I whispered, flooding the floor in front of us with light.

"Daivat Frobisher must have a _lot _of time on his hands," James mused.

"Must have," I agreed. "So-how was Greece? After I left?" James looked at me, startled. "Well, I think I went out with that Agatha girl for a while-"

"What?" I blurted, spluttering. "Right after I disappeared?"

"Yeah, I did! Why?" James said defiantly. "You had made your feelings toward me quite clear-friends only, and barely that! And even that took six years."

"Well, if you went ahead and took a look at how you acted toward me, and just-_everyone-_ you were bloody arrogant, Potter, don't deny it. You and Sirius were downright _mean _sometimes!"

"Oh, it's _Potter _now, is it?" James rolled his eyes, and for a moment, he looked every bit the boy he was in sixth year before he had managed to change one iota. "Lily, you _left_. You were _gone. _I realize why you did so. I would have done the same thing. But you left no clue to where you had gone-no note, no anything! And we were left wondering where you'd gone. It was horrible."

"Stop! Stop right there, James!" I exploded, yanking on his arm. Shaking with fury. "You-_you have no idea _what I went through, but I can bet your whole damn bank vault full of gold that it was more traumatic than-than what you went through! And I wasn't allowed to tell a single soul!" I shouted, voice shaking. "They tortured me, James! At least five times, and I almost lost my mind! I was asleep for two years-James, you don't know what that's like, don't pretend you do! I wanted _desperately _to tell you, to tell someone-but-but I _couldn't." _My hands shook and my eyes burned. My time with the Death Eaters would always haunt me. I didn't want to talk about it, I could hardly stand it-

"No, Lily, you know that's not what I meant-I didn't mean it like that," he shook his head furiously, hand clenched around his wand so tightly I thought it would snap.

"How did you mean it, then?" I asked, eyes blurring. Now that I had thought about it, all the memories that I had struggled to push down and away, out of my brain, were hitting me full force.

"Lily, _I loved you. _I really did. And when you left..." he stopped. "It wasn't as hard as what you went through, I'm not so thick as so think that. But it was bloody hard."

I nodded. "We should go," I began to walk, turning my face away from James and angrily brushing a tear away.

"Lily, stop," James called after me, jogging to catch up. I turned to face him, eyes burning and breath catching in my throat. "I'm sorry, Lily-please-"

"It's fine, James. Let's just go."

"No Lily, it's _not _fine! I was a prat just now!" He declared, shocking me completely. As much as I refused to admit it, it wasn't just what he'd said that was hurting me-it was what he had implied. He _had _loved me. Paste tense. His crush on me had been one of my only constant over the past years-somehow, whenever I had imagined myself coming back, I had imagined James still feeling that way. Only more grown up-but now-he obviously didn't. James wasn't one to hide it, if he did. It was just..._different. _Too many things were changing.

"Thank you, James. But it was my fault, I shouldn't have snapped at you like that-"

"LILY, STOP!" James lunged forward, and the urgency in his voice shocked me. I turned back to look at him, confused, and my heel slipped over the corner.

For one, heart-stopping, terrifying moment, I flailed, about to lose my balance, and my foot slipped. I lost an inch. James jumped forward again, seizing me in the same movement and yanking me violently back from the edge. We stumbled back, and he released the grip on my arm and I stood, paralyzed, completely unable to move. My eyes were open in shock, mouth working soundlessly.

"Whoa-that was a pretty good way to apologize," I grinned faintly, and I felt light headed-all the blood had rushed out of my head in that moment of sheer terror.

"Thank you, m'lady," James grinned, relieved, offering me a sweeping bow. He looked up, grinning crookedly.

"And now, what exactly did you save me from?" I took a few cautious steps forward, looking over the cliff that I had almost met my death on.

"Whoa," I gasped in appreciated at cheating my death. _"That _is...this is _mental._"

"Wouldn't want to get boiled in that!" James agreed. The boiling lava river flowing down a few hundred meters below hurt to look at for much longer than a few seconds, it was so bright. The bright lava was marred by several large rock platforms that had fallen and were now floating down the river.

"The question is...how are we going to get over this?" I murmured, consulting my locket. My eyes raked over the map-I saw the lava of which we were standing on the lip of-it stretched from one side of the locket to the other, seemingly endless. No bridge, no nothing.

"Let's just levitate ourselves. Simple!" James clapped his hands together, pulling out his wand and muttering an incantation as I snapped the locket shut with a click.

"What?" he muttered, confused.

"Was that incantation supposed to do something?" I questioned, my brow furrowed.

"I just-I don't know, it was fairly easy, I'm not sure what happened."

He tried again, and got the same result-nothing.

"Let me try," I offered, pulling out my wand.

"Wingardium Leviosa," I pointed my wand toward myself-nothing. I blushed, embarrassed-that was a first year spell, and I was one of the top in the class.

"I don't know why that didn't work; there's no simpler spell," I looked at James, baffled.

"Accio rock," I whirled around, an idea forming in my mind. Nothing happened. "That's what I thought-magic must not work here. It must be another test, to weed out those who aren't completely determined," I sighed, starting to be exasperated with Daivat.

"How are we going to get over, then?" James asked, looking around.

"Without magic...there doesn't seem to be a way," I frowned. "Should we try walking in the opposite direction?"

"It's better than just standing here," James agreed.

We walked for what seemed like kilometers and kilometers-perhaps it was. It wasn't until much later that the locket finally revealed the edge of the river-or some sort of way to cross it.

"There's something up ahead a ways," I commented. "Maybe a bridge!" I said excitedly, though I didn't think it would be that easy.

"Hopefully," James said, though he sounded doubtful. "I wonder what time it is-it's odd without the sun. Are you hungry?"

"Yeah, I am, actually," I hadn't noticed until James had brought it up, but now that he mentioned it-I was famished. "But let's keep going for a while."

"Which was does the locket say to go?"

"It's just...stopped. There must be several ways to get across," the locket was still displaying where we were, but no longer the path we were supposed to be following.

"Hopefully we're near one of them," James said grimly, and we continued on silently. A stitch developed in my side after a while-the scenery hadn't changed at all-if we hadn't moved a centimeter from where we started, we would never have realized if it weren't for the locket.

"This doesn't help much," James said doubtfully, looking up. In front of us an archway towered over the river of lava-it couldn't be climbed over, because it went all the way up to the cavernous ceiling.

"Wait-are those handles?" I ran forward, eyes locked on the silver glint that had just caught my eye. "Look, James! Look at this!" I cried excitedly, pointing up to the handles. "We have to climb them-I'll start!"

"Wait, wait," James ran forward, catching up with me. "Just wait-are they even stable? Who knows how long they're been here? According to the legend-which isn't a legend, actually-Daivat is almost a thousand years old."

I winced. "That's got to be hard on the back."

James let out a laugh, throwing his head back. "True. But I think we should test out these handles before we put our life on them."

The handles were nothing more than metal rungs to curl your fingers and toes under. I stepped on the first one, pushing up until all my weight was on it-I bounced a bit cautiously, and it didn't so much as move.

"I think it's safe," I looked down to James, jumping down.

"Let me try-I'm heavier than you." We traded places and James climbed up, testing the first several rungs. "They look good," he pronounced. "I'm going to start climbing."

"I'm right behind you," I said firmly and he nodded grimly. We slowly made our way straight up-so far it was fairly easy, like a ladder. I curled my hands under the handles, stepping lightly on the footholds. James did the same until the trail of handles began to tilt-soon we would be climbing sideways, completely horizontally. That would be tough. James began and I waited, looking at the ground below me and then back to James.

"Careful," I called out, my grip increasing on the handles unconsciously as he continued-his body was leveling out now, and he was climbing horizontally, feet towards me-

"Half-way-there," he grunted after a while. My stomach began to twist-any tiny slip and he would die. I was safe, just on the first few handles, still standing vertically, whereas James was climbing horizontally. I tried not to think about that-I was beginning to sweat, and I wiped my palms against my jeans-

"Ah!" A yell escaped his lips as his hand slipped a quarter of an inch-I clamped my hand against my mouth, stifling a scream of my own-

"Come on, James, come on, almost there-" he stopped moving for a moment, breathing hard-

"Alright. Alright, almost there," he said to me. He was sweating hard and his glasses were slipping down his nose a bit. He climbed through the last few rungs, hanging from under the rungs like a koala climbing a tree, wedging his toes hard in the metal handles every time he moved, wiggling them out every time he made progress.

Finally, he began to go down again, dropping and climbing head first to the ground on the other side-I relaxed. Danger avoided.

Then the rung broke.

I let out a scream as James jerked down-the foot the rung had broken on was scrabbling for purchase-I began to climb silently, rushing to help-I pulled myself across until I was pulling my body along the rocky arch-James lost another foothold-now he was hanging by his hands only, feet dangling above the lava river.

"James-hang on-I'll-AH!" a scream fell from my lips, stomach plummeting as a rung of my own gave out. I was an arm's length away from James-

"Lily-Lily, we're going to fall!"

"No we're not!" I yelled fiercely. "Climb, James! Use your muscles! Grab the next one, swing yourself!"

"How are you going to get across, there's two rungs missing-Lily!"

One of my hands gave out and I hung on tighter until my knuckles were completely white. I was breathing hard, stretched out and hanging by one hand and one foot.

"AHHHH!" I screamed as my other foot gave away-I was now hanging over the river by one hand-somehow, the rung was getting slicker and slicker.

**Whew! Two days, fastest update EVER! XD I would love some reviews, hope you guys all enjoyed this! :D**

**-Cassia**


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15: Water Trials**

_What if we were made for each other, born to become best friends and lovers, I want to stay right here in this moment with you -Colbie Callait_ _"What If"_

"Lily! Hang on!" James yelled at the top of his voice.

"Do you think I _want _to let go?!" I screamed back, trying to swing my body back to the left to grab the rung three handles back-but it was useless.

My fingers slipped down-now I was hanging merely by the uppermost parts of the fingers on my right hand.

"Lily, just wait, just wait-" James dug in his pocket, frantically pulling out his wand-"Wingardium Leviosa-Wingardium Leviosa- _WINGARDUIM FRICKING LEVIOSA!" _He screamed, now hanging by one hand as well, the other busy trying to magic both of us.

"James, I'm going to fall!" my pinky slipped off. I struggled to fling my other hand up to have them both on the same rung, but the momentum caused me to lose my grip-

"Jaaaaameessssss!" I shrieked, falling backwards. "Ahhhhh!" I flipped myself around, and suddenly I wasn't alone.

James and I linked arms, lacing our fingers-adrenaline coursed through my body as we fell, the ground speeding up at us-slowing down now-I was prolonging my death. But it looked like we were flying through syrup. It got slower and slower, and our screams died down-was this how it always was? It slowed down dramatically and I buried my face in between James's shoulder-suddenly, we were floating in midair. I opened one eye-we weren't falling. We were floating, an arm's length above-

_"Ooof!" _We dropped, surprised, the last foot onto a floating chunk of rock.

We both lay in shock for what could have been hours, unable to move. James finally sat up-"Check the locket-Lily, check it-I think that was supposed to happen! See, Lily, we aren't even burning to death-I-I think it was just a test to see if we were brave enough to _try- _we were going to land on this wrong all along-look, I bet this isn't even lava!" James scrambled to the edge of the rock excitedly, shaking the small rocky platform.

"James, stop! What are you-"

He stuck his hand in the lava. Instead of screaming in agony and pulling a blackened stump back up instead of an arm, the whole river of lava shuddered. Out from his hand it rippled, slowly becoming...water.

"Water!" James shouted with joy.

"It must have been an illusion!" I crawled over to the other edge to balance us out. We were now steadily floating downstream. Remembering James's words I checked my locket-sure enough, we _were _on the right track.

"We're headed in the right direction," I announced grimly.

James whooped. "That's good, isn't it?"

"Well, yes. For now. But..." I paused, looking intently at the locket. "It's also bad. It means the map is getting harder to follow," I explained.

"What do you mean?"

"Well-for a while, it didn't show us where to go. We assumed that, maybe, there was more than one way of crossing. But instead, I think we had to figure it out ourselves, even if it was by accident. D'you see? We're going to have to do more _strategizing, _and less following blindly."

"Are you sure that it just couldn't show the direction of "down?" James asked doubtfully, crawling back to the center of the rock platform as it trembled slightly.

"Maybe. I hope so."

"You still have the tent and things, don't you?" He asked suddenly, and a moment of panic engulfs me-I pat around my waist, and only feel my wand-"Oh, here it is," I sighed with relief, pulling at the bag.

"We may be on this rock for a while," James realizes. "Won't we?"

"Well, we walked for quite a ways-it's probably just as long in the other direction, isn't it?" I squint at the locket, which was showing...a turn up ahead. Not far enough to be an immediate danger, but-"James, we've got a turn coming that we've got to figure out how to get around," I alerted him.

"Okay-hey, what do you think is in this water?"

"Nothing worth being pulled under for," I firmly stopped him before he had the chance to hang over the edge.

"Turn's coming!" James announced after a few minutes, craning his neck to see ahead of us.

"Okay-the water's beginning to pick up, so I'm thinking we shouldn't stand, should we?" I said a bit nervously, looking at the grey, churning water around us. For some odd reason, it was light enough to see clearly...but there were no visible light sources, I realized with a start. I shrugged it off-it was far from the strangest thing we've encountered recently.

"Maybe let's kneel, and if we get too close to the wall on either sides we can just push off," James suggested.

"Good idea."

We both took opposite ends of the rocky platform, preparing to push off-I was on the side of the inside turn.

"We're getting close-James, hold on-I'm going to push in three-two-one!" I leaned forward, throwing my weight in a dangerously risky way against the rock side and push off with my palms, falling back onto the platform. Our "boat" of sorts pushed through the waves to the left, careening into James's wall. I threw a look behind me and James was leaning forward toward his wall, arms out.

"I'm going to push right _now!" _He returned and I gripped the edges of the platform with both of my hands, struggling to keep my balance as the rock dipped both ways-with James's final push, we'd made it to straight waters again. I looked at the locket-so far, no impending doom.

After a while we began to get drowsy, and James took over the job of watching the locket while I curled up, glad to rest my fatigued body and heavy eyelids.

"Promise to wake me up soon, and we'll switch," I made him swear after he forces the first nap for me.

"Marauder's honor," he held up his right hand, the other with the locket. I close my eyes and curled up in the middle with James sitting next to me, keeping watch. I let the gentle rocking lead me further into drowsiness.

"We're going faster, aren't we?" I opened an eye.

"Just a bit, maybe. Don't worry about it," James disregarded the obvious fact, but there was worry in his voice.

"Alright," I said skeptically, letting my head fall back onto my arms.

It seemed to be only a blink later that I woke up-"James, how long did you let me sleep?" I asked, startled.

"Not very long," he assured me.

"Liar," I rolled my eyes, sitting up. "Your turn-try to fall asleep and I'll make dinner."

"If you insist," he yawned, curling up where I had been moments ago.

"I do," I told him just before he closed his hazel eyes. I dug through my bag for a while, remembering that I couldn't just magically summon food. Daivat Frobisher sure had been thorough in his tests. I finally managed to find two sandwiches, compacted magically. Fortunately, I didn't need magic to make them normal-size. I shook James awake and we ate, speculating about what could possibly be in the water.

"Mermaids?" James took a huge bite.

"Maybe nothing," I hoped.

"That wouldn't sound like Frobisher so far. Likely there's something nasty and big that feeds on redheads," James smirked, pushing up his glasses.

"And men with glasses," I shoved his muscular chest, laughing a bit at the fact that I hadn't even managed to move him. Then I did a double take at what I had just said-James was a _man. _We weren't teenagers anymore-we were _twenty. _I looked him over, baffled-he was taller, his shoulders broader, and more muscular-he didn't look _too _terribly different from summer after sixth year when we were seventeen, but his face looked a bit older as well.

"What are you staring at, Flower?" He asked softly, and I blushed, realizing I _had _been staring.

But he had been doing the same.

"_Nothing!" _I protested, turning my attention back to my sandwich. James laughed, closing the locket back in my hand.

"What was that?" My head snapped down toward the water where I had heard some sort of odd noise.

"What was what?" I looked down in horror at the water-bubbles were issuing up, and ripples were spreading out-

"James-James, look at that-" I scooted as fast as I could back into the center of the rock, gripping James's arm tightly-

"We've stopped moving," James noticed. We had-we had been gradually slowing down over the past few minutes, though neither James or I had acknowledged it aloud-and now we were almost completely at a standstill-the water was still enough to see the ripples that were steadily increasing. With a sudden, jerking movement, the surface began to rock.

"What-James, what's going on?" I tightened my grip on his arm.

"I don't-" _SPLASH!_

With a final shove by unseen hands our rock completely flipped over, dumping us unceremoniously into the lake. My grip on James was wrenched away and I spluttered with the unexpectedness of being underwater.

I lifted my hands above my head automatically, feeling for the rock before I crashed my skull on it. I used the form to guide myself to the edge of it so I could re-surface before all of my air supply completely disappeared.

I took in a heaving half-gasp, half-cough as I broke the surface, looking around wildly as I began to tread water. James popped up next to me half a second later, water dripping down his face and glasses.

"Mortals," a clear tone of disgust sounded from behind us. I turned around to face a woman-female. She wasn't human, and could never pass for one...but she was close. I tried not to stare too blatantly at her blue hair, green skin, abnormally large (completely black, with no irises) eyes, and large, pointed ears. My eyes travelled down slowly, a hunch growing what I would find when I looked where her legs would be-

"Are you a mermaid?" James blurted before I had the chance to close my dropping jaw after I laid eyes upon the coppery, glittering scales of her tail.

"No, I most certainly am not!" She said indignantly, crossing her arms. She was wearing clothes that draped over her skin strategically, made from a seaweed-looking material. "I am _half mermaid. _Half mermaid, half naiad. Duh," she rolled her eyes, surprisingly reminiscent of a teenage girl. I wondered where she'd picked that up-maybe she _was _a teenager. If she was, I couldn't tell. Her face had a timeless quality-did half-mermaids age?

"Well...we would appreciate if you'd let us get back on our platform and be on our way," James flashed her an easy grin-even though I knew he was just trying to convince her, I rolled my eyes at the technique, a spark of annoyance flickering from within me. Shaking it off, I nodded furiously.

"Yes, we weren't causing anyone harm, see-actually, we're sort of-"

"Oh, I know what you're after," she smiled, strangely calm. "And these are the waters of the sea-women. Non discriminatory, of course, not just _one _species of water people are here, but _many-"_

_"_And will you let us by?" I blurted hopefully, continuing to tread water, looking to James who was pushing his streaming-wet hair out of his face. I ducked my head under for a moment, pushing my own red hair back and out of the way.

"Of course," she smiled toothily.

"Great, tha-"

"After you answer my riddles."

"Riddles?" James asked warily.

"Yes!" She beamed with delight. "Are you ready for the first? It's new!" She grinned proudly.

"Alright-I think I can get this, my dad used to ask my sister and I riddles all the time when we were younger...I think I can do it..."

"Oh, don't bother," her grin widened. "You'll both have to answer one. If you get them both wrong, we'll eat both of you. If you get one wrong, only one will be eaten."

Suddenly, her smile looked a lot less friendly.

"You're cannibals?" James and I asked incredulously at the same time, moving away slowly, glad the current had disappeared. It would be easier to see if any more of her kind surfaced, looking for a snack.

"_Humans _are not our species. The word "cannibal" refers to eating one of one's own species," she said knowingly.

"Great," James panted a bit. I looked at him, startled.

"James, how long can you tread?"

"Not-not an amazingly long time," he managed, tilting his head to keep it above the water.

"Let's speed this up," I suggested, looking quickly to the mermaid-naiad.

"My pleasure. Now...to the girl. And you, boy," she wagged her finger at James. "No helping, or-"

"You'll eat me, I know," he managed.

"Quick learner. Now...

_"What does man love more than life?_

_Fear more than death or mortal strife?_

_What do the poor have, what the rich require,_

_And what contented men desire?_

_What does the miser spend, the spendthrift save,_

_And all men carry to their graves?"_

I thought, furrowing my brow and biting my lip. The line that stood out to me the most...fear more than death or mortal strife. It reminded me of Voldemort. He feared _nothing _over that. A tiny spark flared up, my brain struggled to grasp something-but just as I looked at the wisp of the thought head on, it vanished. I closed my eyes, trying to think.

_What does man _love..._more than _life... _love? _I wondered. But would a man fear love more than death? Possibly...something wasn't right. What else would he fear-nothing! My brain screamed.

"Is this a trick question?" I asked.

"No trick question," she shook her head. I realized with a start she wasn't moving her arms to stay afloat, nor her tail-she was just-_floating, _almost.

Stay on task! I scolded my brain, bringing it back to the task. I couldn't have been on the right mind track. What was it my dad used to say?

_Riddles are easier than you think...you only must get out of the normal way of thinking. A riddle is a complicated knot...the harder you pull, the tighter it becomes...but find one loop, if it's the right one-and one small yank will undo the whole thing._

_That's _what my father had said.

One loop...

_Nothing. _

"It's nothing!" I proclaimed loudly-James looked at me like I had suddenly sprouted wings and horns.

"Correct," the mermaid sighed, clearly disappointed. "And now you." I felt a stab of genuine fear that I hadn't felt when it had been me. Now it was James.

"_I can be cracked, I can be made._

_I can be told, I can be played._

_What am I?"_

James floundered a bit and I moved to his side, pulling him-

"He's got to hang onto a wall!" I called over my shoulder as both of us approached the rocky wall. I was started to feel tired myself, like my legs were slowly filling with cement instead of blood.

"Thanks," he began to breath more normally. The mermaid floated closer to us as we both took a grip on the jagged outcropping. I suddenly realized the water was slightly cold-I pulled my legs into each other, trying to hold in body heat.

"A joke!" James's face broke into a smile. "I'm in expert in that department."

"Goody for you," the mermaid said drily. "No flesh for me tonight." With a snap of her fingers the rocky platform righted itself, and the water began to churn again. James quickly lost his grip as the waves began to spray and crash against the rock. I quickly followed, painfully skinning my elbows as I sank back into the water.

"I'd get back on, if I were you," the mermaid smirked dangerously. "Or your ride may leave without you." James and I looked at each other in confusion, and then back to where the rocky platform had been moments before-the space was empty, now our rock had floated just far enough to be out of reach.

"Come on!" I yelled, pushing myself and trying to encourage James. We swam furiously down to our platform which was steadily moving out of view-and when we finally _did _make it, we had to get on-

"You get on first-go-"

"No, Lily! Get on!"

"James, I'm a better swimmer! _Go!" _I gave him such a shove up the platform that instead of protesting, he used the momentum to pull himself onto the platform, his upper body safe, his lower body still in the water.

With a grunt of effort he swung one leg up, and then the next, spinning himself so he was lying facedown on the rocky platform, towards me.

"Grab my hand-one-"

The waters were picking up. I had a grip on the platform and was kicking my legs frantically behind it in case I fell of, which was likely-each time the steadily increasing waves pounded against the platform, my grip weakened.

"Two, three!" In a quick maneuver I moved my right hand from the rock into James's hand, and the fingers of my left hand slipped off of their own accord. I dangled in the water, holding onto James with one slippery hand.

"Come on-grab on-" he grunted, beginning to pull me up. I kicked up at the waters, scrabbling at the rocky platform to try to be easier to pull up-I could see the muscles in both of our arms working to counteract the slipperiness of the grip-

With one final heave we managed to get my upper body on the rocks. For a moment I just lay there, panting and marvelling at the teamwork.

"I think getting on was harder than answering the riddle," he said after we caught our breaths, both of us laying on our backs, feet facing opposite directions but heads side by side.

"Thank you," I turned to look at him.

"No problem," he said softly. "For the record, I think we make a pretty good team."

"You know it," I was close enough to see the individual water droplets glistening in his hair, the way his glasses were slipping down his nose from the combination of sweat and water.

He looked away, breaking the spell. Something inside me began to hurt.

"Oh great and powerful locket, was does thee say now?" I heard James's voice speak from my right. I rolled my eyes, continuing to scrutinize the locket.

"It says we're not too far away-hopefully it's not another mermaid-look, the water's slowing down."

"Good. Can I see?" I handed over the locket-one more turn, and then it looked like there was some sort of tunnel we had to enter-that could be tough.

"Right up ahead?" James said after a while.

"We should be able to see it now."

"So-by _tunnel-_d'you mean _that _tiny thing up there, close to the ceiling?"

I looked up, mouth dropping open-there was no _way _we could stand up in that tiny hole-it looked like more of a crawl space. Upon closer inspection, there were crudely carved hand-and-footholds leading up to it, starting at the water level.

"I guess we crawl," I guessed, kneeling slowly and then standing.

"At least it's lit though, right?" James called from in front of me as we both crawled into the faintly lit tunnel. There were no room for torches-we would set ourselves on fire-but from the floor, a gently glowing trail of light showed the way. Just enough so we wouldn't run ourselves into the wall.

"I guess," I consented, looking up at the ceiling that was inches above my head. I wasn't claustrophobic, but this tunnel would make anyone antsy to get out.

After a while of crawling in silence and trying to avoid spiders and other beetles, James came to a stop.

"Why'd you stop?" I halted abruptly behind him, and he craned his neck back to look at me.

"There's a key right here."

"Take it!" I sat back excitedly, hunching over on my knees and looking at the locket. "Wait-it doesn't show a dead end on the map-maybe we're supposed to unlock something with the key?"

"Hopefully something above ground," James grumbled. "I'm going to take off the key now, it's on this raised thing..."

"Wait-" too late. James had already taken it off, and suddenly, for the second time in the last forty-eight hours, the floor dropped out from under us.

"Ahhh!" Our mingled scream was short-lived-I landed on my stomach on the ground, the breath knocked out of me. I sat there for a moment, heaving in gasps from my chest that seemed to have turned to stone. We had fallen through into a much wider and taller tunnel-and we had landed right at the foot of a huge flight of stairs-

"You alright?" James wheezed, sitting up and massaging his chest.

"Yeah-you? Can I see the key?" He handed it back, jumping to his feet. The key was small-it would fit in my palm. It was extremely old-fashioned, the same shade of bronze as my locket. I turned it over slowly in my hands, the rubies set into the metal glinting with the torchlight. Daivat seemed fond of torchlight.

"It's beautiful," I said, fingering the red ribbon tied around the part that didn't go into the lock.

"It is," James agreed softly, locking eyes with me. Something in his tone made me blush and lower my eyes. When I looked up, he was slowly reaching out a hand. I stood perfectly still. He gently moved a strand of my red hair from sticking, still wet, under my chin, to behind my ear.

"Thanks," I murmured as he stepped closer.

"Yeah," he murmured, tilting my chin up to look at him. My heart began to pound, and suddenly I was very aware of how I was standing-

Both of us jumped away, startled, as a rock hit the floor-it was just a tiny pebble, but James and I looked to each other in horror, both of us thinking the same thing-was the ceiling going to cave in?

Within three seconds after the first rock, another shower of rocks fell, hitting the floor until it was a pile of yellowish-brown rocks.

"Never makes it easy, does he?" James touched my arm and we began to run as the tunnel began to rumble. "Has to cave in, too!"

We raced up the stairs, fighting exhaustion.

"Watch out!" James yanked my arm out of the way of a head sized rock that had fallen just where I had been resting moments before.

"Thanks," I murmured, thinking about our almost-kiss earlier. _Had _he been about to kiss me? Or was I just being paranoid? Did I actually _want _him to kiss me?

"We'd better run," I surprised myself for blurting that thought aloud.

"Let's go." We began to run again, legs burning and shaking with exertion. I looked behind me once to see a pile of rocks taller than both of us filling the tunnel from one side to the other-the message was clear-no turning back now.

"How far-does the locket say-we-have-to-run?" James gasped haltingly. I tried to unclasp the bouncing locket from around my neck with shaking, clumsy fingers-I gripped it tightly in front of my face-

"Not-much further!" I wheezed. "Just-up ahead-" I took a diving leap to push James out of the way as I saw the ceiling tremble beneath his head, and both of us landed in a painful heap on the other side of the tunnel while a particularly large pile of rocks continued to fall down-and it didn't stop. For almost a minute, the ceiling trembled and rocks fell, dust coating us and the floor of the tunnel. When it was done, where we had run up was completely blocked-there was only one way, now-forward.

"Ouch," I moaned, rolling off of James's torso and massaging my back, where there were sure to be bruises later.

"Thanks," James groaned, sitting up and rubbing his elbow. "But I'm going to have bruises later."

"Me too," I stood up on shaky legs, almost falling over. The muscles in my legs were screaming, I had stitches in both of my sides, and I was beginning to feel light-headed.

"The ceilings stopped caving in-let's rest and-get some water," James said, scooting backwards and resting his back on the wall behind him. He wasn't as out of breath as me, but he still looked exhausted.

"I agree," I lowered myself down on the floor, stretching my legs out in front of me and taking out my bag. "Let's see if our wands work-Accio water!" Nothing happened.

"Accio water," James repeated to no avail. "Somehow, I'm not that fond of this Daivat guy so far."

"James, he might be listening to us right now!" I hissed while manually digging out the water.

"How the hell would he be able to do that?!" He cried.

"Let's see-he's transfigured a giant river of water to look like lava, made the timing just right so we would land on a rock that we could float on-all the while without killing ourselves, mind you-"

"Alright, alright," James grumbled. "I was joking. I actually love you, oh great Daivat Frobisher. Your dazzling powers that you so obviously use for _good-"_

"_James!" _I shoved him, laughing.

"Lily!" He mimicked back, taking his water and chugging half of it down with one gulp, it seemed. It felt so good to finally drink water-the cool liquid slid down my dry throat, cooling my stomach and my face, which was flaming red from the run.

"How long do you think we've been here?" James asked seriously, removing food.

"Over a day, maybe two," I tried to think. "We both need sleep. As soon as we reach somewhere safe-we'll sleep."

"Safe enough where we don't have to sleep in shifts," James nodded, taking a huge bite. "So Lily...you told me about living with...the Death Eaters," he said timidly, looking at me with innocent eyes. "But you didn't tell me how it made you feel. How did you cope with it?"

I closed my eyes briefly. "It was really bad," I admitted. "I-I had to do small tasks, like keeping track or organizing things-things I would have done as Lily-to keep myself sane. Like keeping track of the moon cycles, keeping my room impeccably neat, standing up to the Death Eaters in my head when I couldn't any other way." James shuddered.

"I wish I could have been there with you."

"No you don't. It was horrible. Later, when I was hiding things, like the spells I was practicing, things like that-every creak, every sound outside my door, scared me so bad. I got so paranoid I think my mind even began to make up noises. And the food was terrible, way worse than Hogwarts," I cracked a smile. Every time I talked or thought about the Death Eaters, a black hole opened up inside of me, sucking out my happy emotions like a Dementor. If I ever saw one of those, no doubt I would re-live my time with Voldemort.

"Well, it was to your advantage he tried to kill you slowly, and not just with the-the Avada Kedavra," James winced at the name.

"Yeah, it was. I'm glad I'm alive," I smiled at him.

"Me too, Lily." How glad are you? I thought about asking him. I shook the thought away-but another thought came back, in it's place. And more, and more, and more. They drove away the black hole, made me forget about Voldemort and think only of happiness, only of the black-haired man sitting in front of me, looking at me with only my best interest at heart-

I was falling for James. I could no longer deny myself that fact anymore. I had feelings for him.

But I was sure that he only saw me as a friend.

**A\N Finally she admits it! Sorry for the errors in this guys, I'm on vacation and no time to proofread! Hope you all are having a great summer, Happy slightly belated Canada day to all you Canadians and Happy 4th to the Americans...leave a review and I'll send up a firework for you:)**

**-Cassia4u**


	16. Chapter 16

** IMPORTANT-A chapter has disappeared between this chapter and the last. I'm not sure what happened-maybe it didn't save properly, maybe it got deleted, but I don't think there was anything super duper important, okay? I'm really sorry about this, I'm pretty upset too. But they are out of the underground and now I guess they are...well, you'll see.**

**So if anything's a bit confusing, you can blame my laptop for the lost chapter. Again, sorry about that. :)**

**Chapter 16- Oddity of the Sands**

_Can't anybody find me, somebody to love -Queen "Somebody to Love"_

"The Jungle of Chutes," I read off the locket, brow furrowing. The night before, James and I had stumbled, half-asleep, into a muggle hotel and slept until noon. Now it was late afternoon and we had been trekking for several hours, following the locket out of muggle vicinity and into a forest I was sure was on no muggle map. However, the locket seemed to know what it was, because we had our first worded message flash across the map-side.

"I wonder why it's called that," James said thoughtfully, peering over my shoulder.

"Guess we'll find out," I said grimly.

We pushed through the brush, the forest brightly green colored. _Everything _was an almost unnatural shade of green. The flowers and all of the other plants were as vividly colored as poisonous frogs-which reminded me of a morbid fact, which I reminded James of.

"The more colorful something is, the more likely that it's poisonous," I relayed this happy bit of information.

"Hopefully we won't be in here long enough to run down on our food supply," he remarked grimly, pushing his hair back that was already damp with sweat-it was extremely humid. I pulled at my t-shirt that was clinging to my body with the humidity. James looked away, turning red, which of course, caused me to turn red as well.

"Of course not, we refilled it at the inn back there, rem-whoa!" I gasped as the ground gave away below me.

Not so much gave away-more like began to sink.

"What's going on-why am I shrink-quicksand!" I shrieked, beginning to panic. I trashed around before remembering to stay as still as possible, as moving would only increase my rate of sinking. I reached for my wand in my pocket, but I was already waist-deep and couldn't reach it-

"Hang on, Lily! Accio Lily!" James shouted, whipping out his own wand. Nothing happened-

"Get a branch, James, a branch!" I yelled frantically, shaking with terror but trying not to move at the same time.

"Take this!" I lunged out at the branch he was feeding me, missing the first time and losing several inches. My hands slapped at the sand, sending bits of it everywhere. On the second try I managed to grasp it, just barely-he let it slide a bit so I could have more of a grip, and began to pull. He grunted with exertion, but to no avail-I was helplessly stuck. Tossing the stick aside while I began to hyperventilate he laid himself out on the ground, grabbing both of my hands and trying to pull me up. The lower half of my body was going numb, and I was in up to my armpits now. James held onto my forearms with a death grip, digging his toes in and trying to pull me backwards.

I began to sink even more, and I let out a high-pitched, startled scream.

And just when you'd think it couldn't get any worse, it did. One wrong turn, and suddenly, _James was in the sand with me._

"James, we've got to get out! Hold still, try to float!" But he was already in just as much as me, and then, it seemed, out bodies went onto auto-pilot, going completely against logic. We thrashed and tried to kick, but it was obviously not going to work-

"Wait-Lily-I-" _shwoop. _With a sick sucking noise, James was pulled under.

"JAMES!" I screamed, vision going fuzzy-and I was pulled under as well. I gulped in a deep breath, arms pinned above my head-suddenly, I was no longer struggling to breath, but was gulping in breaths of fresh air. The bottom of the sand pit had opened up into thin air-I let out a scream of relief-but also terror-and fell with a _smack _onto some sort of ground.

"James?" I blinked, eyes adjusting to the dark. I could see a faint outline of where we were, but not much.

"Lily!" He exclaimed, wrapping his arms around me enthusiastically.

"James!" I said crossly as he spun me, pushing myself away from him off of his hard stomach. "Next time I am about to die, _do not _think you can just die with me! We both-we both could have-and then _you-" _Then I did something that _really _surprised me. I sat down, and burst into tears. Maybe it was from being over-tired, or adrenaline from the near-death experience James and I had just had, or maybe it was that I was still messed up from my time with the Death Eaters. Maybe a bit of everything. But all I could think about was James dying-which, somehow, seemed legions worse than my own death. And someday, someone finding our skeletons in that horrible sand pit...

"Sorry-I-just-" I was gulping, and my breath was heaving as James sat beside me, pulling me into an embrace, and I rested my head on his shoulder, trying to get a hold of myself. This wasn't delicate, silent tears-I was a gulping, sobbing, sandy mess.

"Lily, we're both okay!" He said, completely stunned as I cried even harder.

"But-b-but we almost weren't!" I cried, completely breaking down. I would be completely embarrassed and ashamed of myself later, but right now I was picturing a life without James. Which was completely illogical because I would have died as well. I continued to sob on James's shoulder while he rubbed my back. The sand was beginning to crust on our clothes and hair, and finally, my crying abruptly stopped.

"Oh Godric," I sighed, pulling away and covering my face in my hands. "That was so embarrassing."

"Lily, it's okay," he said gently, tilting my chin up so I would look at him. "You've had a rough...well, three years, actually," I couldn't see him, but I could tell that he was smiling bitterly. "Now let's try to find a way out of here."

"Alright," I said, still completely embarrassed, standing up. "Should we just start walking, then- whoa!" I gasped, almost losing my footing. I scrambled backwards, pulling James along with me. "There's no floor there!" I cried, and suddenly the tiny, circular room we were in lit up. Candles that had been lining the edges of the floor flickered to life, and looking up and behind us I saw the sandy circle in the ceiling that we had fallen through. The rest of the small room was carved out of dirt-we were, without a doubt, underground.

"I'm guessing the locket will say something stupid like to jump into that hole," I sighed, opening said locket. "Yup. It's the only way out of here," I looked at James grimly, who looked rather humorous crusted in sand.

"Same time, then?" he said, offering his hand.

"Let's jump!" I said with false enthusiasm, taking it and counting backward from three. On one, we both jumped. We weren't in the air for long before we landed, hard, on the smooth ground, sliding down, and then up, screaming all the way. You'd think we'd have been used to that sort of thing by now, but it still felt like my stomach was doing flips, and that my only anchor to the world was James's hand, which no doubt had no blood flow at the moment. I supposed mine didn't either.

"Look-I see light!" I screamed, pointing ahead of us, and suddenly the slide-or chute, I realized, coming to fit this piece of the puzzle along with the jungle's name-tilted upward. Our speed and momentum kept us going and we shot up, hands still locked, flying through the air, flailing and screaming.

"Arresto Momentum!" I screamed wildly, hoping the wandless spell would work. So far, wandless magic had...Either that, or we would have broken bones-we were sailing above the tree tops.

For a horrifying second, nothing happened. Just as we could count the ants scurrying on the floor, our fall stopped.

Then it began again, and we were dumped unceremoniously on the ground several inches below.

"Jungle of Chutes," James groaned, jamming his glasses bag on his face. "Hopefully that was the first and last.

"Chutes, James," I noticed, getting to my feet. "Plural."

"Ah, at least it will keep us on our toes," James grinned.

"Whooooo!"

"Did you hear that?" I whipped around, senses on edge. Over the last couple of days, I was starting to appreciate the fact that here, a simple "who" could mean we were about to be tested by a mermaid, dumped into a river of lava-turned-water, or-

"Hey, it's my owl! C'mere, Javvy!" James clapped his hands as the snowy owl circled before landing on his outstretched arm.

"Beautiful owl," I murmured, walking forward to stroke the snowy feathers.

"Thanks, she was a gift from my mum. Short for Javros," he rolled his eyes sheepishly. "Mom's rubbish at naming owls."

"I think it's cute!" I protested, smiling as she hooted appreciatively at my comment on her name. My grin faded a bit as I was reminded of my own owl, Maverick. I wondered what had happened to her.

"From Sirius!" He exclaimed, nudging my arm with his elbow.

"_Dear Prongs," _James read aloud.

"_Where the bloody hell have you been? And what's this business about a long-lost friend? It's not Lily, is it mate? If it is, tell her to get her arse_ _down here right now and explain her three year disappearance! You haven't gone and eloped now, have you Prongsie? How could you?! We always planned that I WOULD BE YOUR BEST MAN!" _James laughed, looking up from the letter.

"He's not mad, is he?" I asked nervously.

"Um...no, but...well, he's not mad. Definitely not. He's just...well, it would take a good deal of convincing him that you weren't a ghost, if he saw you," he nodded, apparently satisfied with his explanation.

"And what about the others? My friends?" I asked timidly, almost scared of the answer.

"Oh, Flower. I can't tell you that, now can I?" He shifted his weight to his other foot, his grin widening. "Who they've married, what their kids look like-that Neville, he's a cutie..."

"James Potter!" I screeched, lunging for the letter. "Tell me!" I dashed after him as he began to run away, cackling madly.

"Why spoil the fun, Lily-Flower? Don't you want to wait and find out the proper way?" He shouted behind him.

"That's absurd! Proper is overrated!" I squealed, jumping onto his back as he slowed down.

"Oof!" He stumbled and begun to spin, trying to throw me off. I only locked my ankles around his torso in response, giggling and refusing to be thrown.

"Now, who's kid is Neville?" I said next to his ear after he dropped to his knees, panting from running and spinning.

"Not-telling," he gasped, falling onto his stomach with a dramatic "OOOF! You're heavy."

"Hey!" I protested. "You're never supposed to mention a girl's weight, James!" I socked him. "Fine, fine," I stood up, offering him my hand. "Keep reading!" I said expectantly.

"_Well anyway...if it really is Lily, tell her to get down here so we can catch up. Have you two-" _James looked up from the letter, blushing. "Erm...can't read his handwriting here. Anyway...blah blah blah... "_and if it's not Lily, you'd better write me back fast cause I've already got my hopes up! Anyway, COME BACK PRONGSIE! WE HAVEN'T DONE PRANKS TOGETHER IN...WHAT HAS IT BEEN, A FEW DAYS NOW? I think I shall die if you don't return to me. _

_Padfoot_

"Interesting letter," I snorted, holding back a laugh.

"I've gotten stranger, trust me," he laughed. "So, should we keep walking?"

"Aren't you going to write him back?"

"I will tonight, if we haven't found Daivat by then," he nodded to himself, stuffing the letter in his pocket and sending his owl on it's way back to Sirius with a leaf.

"He'll love this," he chuckled as he tied to leaf to the owl's leg.

We walked until nightfall, only stopping to eat. The jungle was true to its name-almost every half an hour, periodically, we would fall down a cleverly concealed hole-no matter how we tried to avoid it, we couldn't. When we shot up out of the slide, we'd be in a completely different area. Our only hope was that the chutes were bringing us _closer _to our destination and not further back.

"Look! Up ahead!" I gasped after a glance at the locket.

"What? I don't see-wait, that glowing tree? Weird..." James ran up to the otherwise normal looking tree, running his hands along the green-glowing bark.

"Yeah, weird..." I murmured. "It's on the map, too, look at this..."

"So we were supposed to find it, then? What if we had been walking by it in daylight, and missed it?" James said, sticking his pinky in in an odd-shaped hole.

"We don't have to worry about that-James, what are you doing?" I cried, pulling his finger out. "Maybe if you put your finger in there we'll fall into another one of those horrid chutes!" I yelled, still holding his wrist.

"Or maybe, we'll discover that it's a keyhole, and possibly our way out of here," he smiled devilishly.

"What are you-hey, it's a keyhole," I said weakly, untying the key's ribbon from the chain.

"Uh huh. Does it fit?"

I inserted the key into the lock-

"Stand back!" A mechanical voice warned, and James jumped, startled.

"What was that?" He panicked, jumping back wildly.

"It was a machine, I think," I pondered, not bothering to think that because he was a pureblood, he wouldn't grasp the concept of a robot.

"A machine?" He said blankly as the ground around the tree began to rise like a giant hatch.

"It's a muggle thing-you know what a robot is?" James looked at me blankly.

"Ah, never mind-look, it's opening!" I drew James's attention back to the ground-hatch.

When it finally stopped, the tree leaning out of it like some weird handle, it revealed a man-made hole.

"Stairs!" James exclaimed, bounding forward and running down them. The outer ring was lit up, shedding light on the inside-on the helicopter-looking vehicle.

"What is _that?" _James gasped, looking up at the copter.

"It looks like a...helicopter..." I muttered. "It's a flying muggle machine," I clarified.

"And we get to fly this thing?!" James exclaimed, jumping into the front seat. "And...wear these ugly things," he said in disgust, holding up what looked like a thick, grey wet suit. "I am _not _wearing this."

"James, think about it," I looked at him sternly. "If we're going to be flying into danger, and this Daivat person wants us to wear the suits...think about what we've _already _faced. If we didn't need suits than and do now..." I trailed off, letting his imagination do the rest.

"I think I'll wear the suit," he consented, tossing me mine. "No peeking!" He called playfully.

"Wouldn't dream of it," I rolled my eyes. "And same to you!" I remembered, changing as quickly as I could. The suit was drab, and tight-fitting but puffy, and...well, wet-suit like. What good would it do?

"Ready?" James called.

"Ready!" I responded, and we both entered the cockpit of the helicopter, tossing our clothes in back. I tucked all of our belongings in a pocket on the thigh.

"Lookin' good, Lil," James laughed, shaking the hair out of his eyes. The suit was tight, but it hardly mattered because it was so puffy.

"Shut up," I growled, waddling over. "I could go hide in the back, you know, and leave you to operate all by yourself," I looked at him, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh Lily, I don't know how I could flip the on switch without you!" He cried dramatically, pointing to a pair of levers. One was marked "On" and "Off", and one was acceleration. There were two seats and two wheels-though I didn't know how two people could steer at once. The controls were extremely elementary, thankfully. A first-year could have flown this.

"Thanks, King of Sarcasm," I rolled my eyes, pulling the two straps over my chest in a cross.

"You're quite welcome," he said cockily, strapping himself in as well. "Care to do the honors?"

"Oh, yes!" I grinned, pulling up on the lever. The copter hummed to life, the dark inside lighting up with a screen in between the levers, showing a GPS sort of map-opening my locket, the map was exactly the same. "It's the same as the locket," I thought aloud. "So we don't have to keep looking back and forth."

"Impressive," James said. "Shall we start it?"

"How?" I looked around the extremely simple dashboard.

"Pull the wheel up, I guess."

"Go ahead," I nodded, wrapping my fingers around the wheel. We slowly began to ascend-

"James! Look out for the ceiling, keep it straight!" I screamed, looking out the window as we gently bumped the sides, giving off the not-so-subtle screeching noise of metal rubbing on metal.

"Sorry, sorry!" he apologized-"Wait, it's you who's got the side to side controller!" He shouted as we continued to push against the metal wall, propellers whirring above ground. My arms were locked on the steering wheel, pushing it forward-the direction we were pushing into the wall.

"Oh-sorry!" I blushed, slowly letting it back up. As soon as we were centered properly James shot us up and I was pushed into my seat by gravity.

"Whoa!" I gasped, glancing at the map-we had to head north. Dead ahead. I pushed the wheel ahead slightly, keeping an eye on the dark ground below us. We were steadily climbing higher and higher, until even the distant outlines of the trees below us looked like toys.

"Beautiful, huh?" James looked at me, hazel eyes looking brown in the lighting.

"Yeah," I said softly, my stomach swooping oddly. "And, James? Even if Daivat doesn't let us...it was still worth it. This was fun, even with the ten near-death experiences every day," I grinned.

"Definitely stories to tell the grandchildren," he agreed.

"That's what Dumbledore said!" I exclaimed, remembering the headmaster's words.

"Wise man!" He shot us upward even more, higher than the clouds. It was completely and totally pitch dark- "I wonder if there are...what are they called, headshiner lights? I think the Hogwarts Express has them," He swung his head over to me.

"I don't think so-there can't be much to run in to up here, though, can there?" I looked at the map. We were on the right track, following a clean green line that still was heading straight north.

"Y-y-yeah," James said, yawning.

"Look-it's nearly ten o'clock," I pointed to a digital clock on the corner of the map.

"You should sleep," James consented, shaking his head to keep him alert.

"I'm not as tired as you," I argued, giving him a wide-eyed look just to show exactly _how _un-tired I was.

"Fine, fine," he grumbled. "But anything comes jumping out at the copter, wake me up, alright? And wake me up when you want to sleep, too," he added as an afterthought. "Night."

"Good night, James," I said, dimming the lights until only the outline of his slumped over form was visible in the chair. For a while, almost two hours, I alternated between watching him sleep-not in a creepy way, just making sure he wasn't going to choke himself with his seat belt. He looked peaceful in his sleep. He had taken his glasses off, hooking them on the on-off switch on the control panel in front of us. Ahead of us, my eyes were slowly began to adjust to the dark now that they lights had been dimmed in the helicopter, and I could make out the outlines of clouds below us, and the moon. It looked oddly bright from up here-a full moon. Remus was a werewolf tonight, I startled myself by thinking automatically. I wondered if he had settled down with anyone. If Sirius had, either, or Peter-though he had always been the type to freeze up when a girl walked even close to him, I remembered with a smile. Alice and Frank...had they gotten married? The backs of my eyes hurt, and I tried to hold back tears. I had missed _so much..._I was an _aunt _now, I realized with a start. An aunt. And I had probably missed many weddings, the births of my friends' children...I looked at James once more, and wondered what could have been. I was falling for him now, would I still have, given time, back when things were...normal?

Yes, I would have, I shocked myself by thinking. Tearing my gaze away, I began to think. Could James and I be happy together? Yes, I answered myself immediately. I bit my lip, frustrated. What _could _have been. Could being the imperative word.

I looked down to the map, jolted out of my thoughts at a new appearance. A circular shaped funnel was being pointed to by arrows-I was torn, considering wether I should wake James-but the map had never lead us astray before, had it?

Shrugging, I impulsively turned the copter, heading directly for the circle.

After a while of moving slightly left or right, depending on which way we were straying, we entered the hole. In the window in front of us, I could actually see it-it looked to be some sort of tunnel, and the air around it was glowing blue-

My eyes widened and I took a breath in sharply, hands glued on the wheel as control was wrenched from my grip. We were hurtling through the tunnel at hundreds of kilometers per hour, wrenching turns that would have thrown me against the wall had it not been for my seat belts. Looking next to me, James had not so much as rolled over, not wavering in his deep sleep. I kept my eyes glued to the window, glancing away only to check the map or James.

I endured only thirty seconds of this torturous, unknowing feeling until it stopped. The tunnel abruptly spit us out, and-I widened my eyes. It was lighter now, like the sun was rising-had we gone through not only space, but time as well?

I didn't give myself much time to think that over, because what I saw next shocked me more-we were flying over _glaciers. _

_"_James!" I yelled, not yanking my wide-eyed gaze off the softly illuminated ice that completely covered every inch of the ground below us. A river cut through the harsh, barren land, but even the river was dotted with gigantic chunks of ice.

"Whazzgoinon?" James shot up as much as his bindings would allow him, hair standing completely up on the side he had been sleeping on, even more than usual.

"Look!" I whispered hoarsely, gesturing downward. He squinted, jammed his glasses onto his face, then gasped.

"Lily-how long did you let me sleep?" He rose an eyebrow at me accusingly.

"We're-North Pole-that's the first thing you thought of?" I asked incredulously.

"Well, the second, really. Are we really in North Pole?"

"I-I went through this-this tunnel thing, or wormhole, for-for a minute, at the most, and it just-now we're here!" I said haltingly, still amazed. To our right, a sliver of the red sun was beginning to rise, tinging the sky above it pink.

"It's not the right time for the sun to rise," James muttered, looking at the clock.

"The sun schedule's different up here," I explained vaguely, repeated something I had learned in fifth grade, my last year before Hogwarts.

"Did the map say to go through the tunnel?" he asked, turning toward the screen.

"There were arrows pointing toward it," I answered timidly.

"Hey-look-I think we're supposed to land there!" He switched tracks, pointing to the arrow which signaled to a red target over-I looked ahead. Apparently, we were supposed to land...

"In the river?" I said doubtfully, eyebrow crinkled.

"It's going to be freezing," James said in the same doubtful tone.

"Maybe that's what the suits were for," I said.

"I think we should land on it, then," James nodded. "On one of those glacier things..."

Soon we were flying directly over the river, daring to go extremely low-we were inside the chasm cut by the river, and our propellers were in danger of chopping off the icy sides.

"Look!" James exclaimed, pointing to a giant, red button that had not been there last time I looked at the dashboard-it had taken the place of the map, and was flashing green.

"No James, wait, don't push-" too late. The seat belts disappeared as we fell a surprisingly short way, the cold air biting, and landed roughly on-

"A boat? How did this get here?" James asked, looking around at the tiny rowboat. With no oars-go figure. There were two seats, and James was occupying the one across from me, facing backwards as we floated down with the current, view partially obscured by giant chunks of ice.

"Yeah, and-whoa, where's the helicopter?" I yelled at the distinctly empty air above us. Something landed with a _thunk _on the floor of the boat not half a second after I asked, and my eyes travelled down with the noise, as did James's.

James pulled it up, bringing it to his face so he could see it in the dark.

"This is weird-our hands and face aren't covered, but they're still warm," I muttered. "This suit is awesome. I think the warmth in the suit must somehow be reaching up to our hands and face, too."

"Look, it's the helicopter!" James looked down at his hands, but what he said didn't make sense. Had the thing that had fallen into the boat-

"It's tiny!" I gasped at the miniature model of the chopper we had just rode. "Is that the one we just rode?"

"Look at the side," James pointed to a big black skid mark-right where I had rammed it into the wall on our first ascend.

"What happened to it?" I exclaimed, taking it into my hands.

"I dunno-do you think we could use it again?" James questioned. "Put it in our bag with the other stuff, just in case," he advised as I unzipped my pocket, waiting until I heard it drop to the bottom of the bag.

"Odd sort of souvenir," I commented. "As is the key and locket-I wonder if we'll be able to keep them."

"You mean, if you'll be able to keep them," James corrected.

"What do you mean?"

"Well...if we succeed in turning back time, I won't remember, will I?" He said slowly, a bit sadly. "Lily?"

"Yes?"

"If it works, and everything goes back to normal...will you tell me...the old me, of course...about what happened? I probably won't believe you, may even think you're bonkers..."

"You already thought I'm bonkers for refusing to date you all those years," I said teasingly.

"Yeah, that too," he grinned widely. "But will you tell me? And show me the locket, the key, and the hellocopitor?" He looked at me earnestly.

"I promise," I vowed. "And maybe then we can figure out what this latin message is," I pointed with my pinky at the words on the face opposite the map. "And look-we've got a long ways to go, I think-the destination isn't even on the locket...mind if I sleep for a bit?"

"A bit? Sleep as long as you need, m'lady," James smiled as I handed him the locket.

"Wake me if-if..."I yawned deeply. "If you need me." James muttered something incomprehensible, and I curled up on the floor beneath the seats, tucking my legs into my chest and resting my head on my arms.

What seemed like seconds later, I was awoken by the booming, deep voice of a stranger-

**"Who seeks out the workshop of Daivat Frobisher?"**

**A\N Sorry again for the lost chapter. ONE MORE VERY IMPORTANT UPDATE!**

**I have started another fanfiction (Don't worry, I'll still update this one regularly!) But I want to see how it is, I need an opinion. No sugarcoating. Okay? Not a beta, I just want someone who will be willing to read the first chapter and tell me if it sucks or not.**

**IF YOU'RE INTERESTED PLEASE CONTACT ME THROUGH REVIEW OR PM.**

**-Cassia4u**


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17: Mind Games**

_ Wise men say only fools rush in, but I can't help falling in love with you...darling so it goes some things are meant to be...Take my hand, take my whole life too, for I can't help falling in love with you. -Elvis Presley "I Can't Help Falling In Love"_

I jumped up, banging my elbow roughly on the corner of the seat I had been sitting on.

"Come on, Lily!" James jumped out of the boat and into a giant cave carved out of the ice. I was still dazed, but alert enough to hop off as well, watching the boat meander down the currents without us.

"James!" I stopped him, pulling his arm before he could run off to the stern old man before us. "Could this be another trap, or obstacle?" I hissed.

"We haven't died yet, have we? Maybe we're finally there!" He whispered back excitedly, grinning wildly.

"Ah-hem," came the man's amused voice. James and I whipped around, stepping back from each other.

"You are Lily Evans and James Potter? I am Daivat Frobisher, as you are well aware." The man stepped forward. He looked older than Dumbledore, and just as wise-if that was possible. His pure silver hair was cut close to his head, and he was tall with long, flowing purple robes. His eyes, a startling shade of violet, had years of knowledge, and I felt like I was looking at the oldest man in the world.

"Yes," James and I breathed. Looking around, the place looked like a workshop-whirring and spinning instruments sat on tabletops, hung from the ceilings-exotic rugs decorated the floors, and elaborate tapestries covered the walls completely.

"Of course you are," he nodded. "My workspace does not reveal itself to anyone who has not completed the journey," he spread his hands, and suddenly I felt angry at him. "That journey-we were almost killed, dozens of times a day!" I yelled, temper raising and eyes flashing. James pulled my arm back.

"Lily, stop," he hissed below his breath.

"We could have died, you know?" I repeated. He shook his head, which really bothered me-he had been the one to set up the deathly traps, he knew better than anyone how fatal they were, yet here he was, shaking his head but not saying a word?

"You probably would not have died," he finally spoke, slowly making his way to an elaborately carved wooden table that seemed to almost hum with energy-he pulled open the top, revealing what looked to be a three-dimensional map of-

Our whole journey.

"You've been watching us the whole time?" James said a bit uneasily as we walked over, peering at the map.

"Yes," Daivat said curtly, nodding. The harsh lines in his face seemed to disintegrate as he smiled. "Of course, not the whole time-only when you were in danger, then I-well, pulled a few strings," he continued to smile knowingly, like he knew something we didn't. "Love is a powerful thing, isn't it?" I blushed, suddenly unable to James. I was acutely aware of the stance I was in, how I was holding my arms and which way I was looking.

"It is," James answered, looking to me. I slowly lifted my head, meeting his hazel eyes-and couldn't look away. A crooked grin was set on his face, eyes twinkling merrily under his glasses. I looked away quickly, blushing. That set James's grin even wider, for some reason.

"And Albus has told me what you seek," he looked at us intently, locking eyes with each of us at a time. "The time-turner...but of course, no ordinary time turner," he corrected himself. "And I would like to hear from yourself why you make this request. It's not the ordinary wizard who comes to seek this. Who wants so badly to erase years of their life, but to keep what they did in place. Such as an accomplishment."

Stumbling over myself I began to explain, James jumping in and making it sound more heroic than it was-when I was talking about finding the fake death spell he kept adding "With great peril to her own life, it was!" and nodding furiously. By the time we were done, I still could not get a read on Daivat's face.

"Please, sit down," he gestured to the midnight-blue couch before to table with the map of our journey.

"I know both of you are intelligent, good people. Which is why you will understand why I cannot grant you this favor."

"Thanks, Daivat, you have no idea how much it mea-WHAT?!" James exploded, eyes snapping open after realizing he had said no.

I sat, stunned, unable to comprehend-why-

"Why?" I blurted. "What else do we have to do? Defeat Voldemort? Institute world peace?" I cried. My eyes were beginning to blur, and blood rushed in my ears.

"I am sorry," he shrugged, eyes full of sorrow. "But you both must learn...in life, a second chance is a rare thing...almost impossible. So, ninety-nine times out of one-hundred, you can bet that if it happened, it happened for a reason," he slowly stood. "I apologize for the inconvenience."

"Inconvenience?!" James exploded, jumping to his feet. Tears had already begun to drip down my face and onto my robe, my hands were shaking. "You-you-we-"

"James," I whispered hoarsely, tugging at his sleeve. "Let's...let's just go." I couldn't bear to look at Daivat. My world had come crashing down in a matter of seconds.

We left silently, but I was shaking with sadness. I could barely breathe, my lungs wouldn't expand all the way-time had slowed, and the only thing I knew for sure was that James's arm was around me, and he was by my side. We walked out, continued to travel slowly, on a icy ledge inclined toward the surface far above the river. If we continued to walk, we would make it to the top within the hour.

James held me up as I cried, supporting me.

"I-I missed so much!" I cried, tears dripping down my face.

"Oh, Lily," James sighed, stopping to pull me into his arms. I cried into his chest, glad he didn't care if his suit was spotted many times over with tears. We sunk to the ground as I continued to sob, thinking about everything I had missed. My sister's wedding, the birth of my nephew...no one I cared about-besides Dumbledore, James, my parents and the professors-had known where I was for three years, they probably all thought I ran away, or eloped like the Fat Lady thought I had. I tried to stop my crying, slowing my breath...it continued to hitch in my throat long after that, my breath jumping as I tried to stop my tears.

"That Daivat is a barmy, badgy old bat," he murmured in my ear, holding me tight. I looked up at him with watery eyes-

"How could he say no?" I whispered.

James shook his head, silent for a moment. "I don't know," he said finally. "It doesn't add up, does it?"

"No," I whispered, burying my face back into his chest. "I've got to stop crying," I announced suddenly, standing up. "Come on, we're going back. Clearly he didn't hear our story right!" My eyes flashed with my new resolve as I offered my hand to James, and he pulled himself to his feet.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" James looked at me uneasily as I unabashedly wiped away whatever tears were left.

"The best," I nodded briskly. I wasn't exactly sure what had caused my sudden change of heart, but I wasn't going to pack it all in because of one no, not after all of that.

"Shouldn't we have passed it by now?" I turned back to look at James. We were forced to walk single file as the ledge thinned out-now we were gripping the wall, for fear gravity would cause us to topple over the edge.

"That's what I thought half a kilometer back," he said grimly. "And we can't have missed it, could we? Maybe it has an illusion covering it, or something-whoa-whoa!" He yelled, wind-milling his arms as his foot slipped.

"James!" I gasped, clutching his forearm, steadying him.

"Whew-thanks," he sighed, muscles relaxing.

Our brief moment of relief had to have been the shortest in history-the ice gave out below us, and we slid through the snow, screaming as we dropped about five meters (Fifteen feet) into the choppy black waters.

"James!" I gasped as my head broke the surface. The mask didn't cover my head; but the suit itself seemed to be radiating heat, and my face was completely warm. Or maybe Frobisher was somehow adjusting the temperature of the water so we wouldn't die-mighty decent of him. For once.

"J-bl-argh!" I screamed as a wave broke over my head. I turned around frantically, ducking my head under to avoid being bludgeoned by a giant chunk of ice. I resurfaced then dove under, lungs full of air, opening my eyes in the murky depths so I could kick off the side and float with the current out of the path of the ice. Just as my lungs were screaming for oxygen it passed over and I shot to the top, breaking the surface once more. I began to panic-I hadn't seen James yet at all.

I turned wildly around, grasping at the first solid thing my hand could find-it was a smaller chunk of ice, no bigger than a desk-after being flipped over two times I successfully pulled myself up, legs in the water and arms hanging onto the ice like a life preserver.

"A-Accio James!" I spluttered, pulling my wand out and screaming a spell just as my chunk of ice glanced of the side of the ice wall, knocking my neck to the side, teeth grinding together. The current was much too strong to swim against, so James must have been headed downstream-

If he was still alive, a grimly dark voice alerted me inside my head. James wasn't the strongest swimmer. Flipping my head desperately to get the wet hair plastered to my forehead out of my eyes, I continued to search wildly-

I gasped as I saw a flash of grey catch my eye from around the corner, down the river a ways.

I jumped off the ice, violently shoving my wand back in my pocket, kicking and pumping my arms with the current, trying furiously to race to him before anything happened-

"James!" I screamed as the flash of grey disappeared from my sight. Something large slammed into my peripheral vision and I was pushed underwater, dazed.

Recalling my wits I opened my eyes in the murky depths, looking above my to a particularly large chunk of ice that had slammed into the side of my head-streams of bubbles issuing up from the pitch black bottoms I kicked up, pushing through the surface. My head was pounding faintly, my hair splayed all around my face-it was dangerous navigating icy waters.

"Daivat!" I screamed at the top of my voice once I resurfaced around the ice chunk. "DAIVAT FROBISHER! We could use a bit of help now! Daivat!" I screamed to no avail. I swam desperately, kicking downstream and not slowing down in one place for too long, fearing I would once again be pushed under. Waves of nervous heat were rolling over my body, adrenaline giving my limbs extra force as they shoved through the waters.

"No-no-JAMES!" I screamed as I caught a glimpse of his upper body. He was afloat on one of the mini-glaciers floating around, lying facedown on the ice, his lower body in the water, limp.

"JAMES!" I screamed again, frantically trying to swim over, dodging ice as my heart threatened to burst out of my chest. Why wasn't he answering?

I caught a flash of red as I neared James's glacier, and my blood ran cold. Throwing myself forward with extra vigor, breathing loud and short, I grabbed hold of the ice, plunging my fingernails in (again, oddly not cold) until my fingers were completely shoved into the ice, procuring a semi-secure hand hold. Now I was being pulled along with the ice, unable to get myself up. My grip on the top of the glacier, half of a foot out of water, was starting to hurt. I desperately pulled until my arm muscles burned and trembled, to no avail. I refused to look at James-he was facing the other way, and I was seeing blood. Lots of it. I told myself I would have to get on the glacier before I could do anything about it, if I looked now while I was floundering down here, I would only make myself more hysterical than I already was-

By some magic, an inhuman burst of energy seized me and I somehow managed to launch myself up. Three fingernail on each of my hand had been ripped out and they were bleeding profusely, but I couldn't even feel them. Shaking with adrenaline and fright I crawled carefully over to the side James was facing, cautious not to disrupt the icy platform.

My breath hitched in my throat as I caught sight of what had caused James to lay like that, limp and still-I used my last bit of strength I had in me to pull him up completely onto the ice, the balance of the whole thing shaking precariously.

I lifted his head, heart almost stopping at what I saw. His face was deathly pale, even his lips-his eyes were closed, but his eyelids fluttered weakly. I turned him over and ripped off the sleeve of my suit to tie around his forehead, stemming the steady gush of blood.

Because now it was apparent why James Potter hadn't answered my desperate screams.

On his head, behind and below his ear, lay a finger-length gash. Blood was matting his hair completely on the left side of his head, and it was impossible to see how deep the cut was. His glasses had slid to the tip of his nose; it was miraculous, really, that he had managed to stay on.

I looked around desperately, for anything other than this wretched expanse of ice and black water. I almost cried with joy when my eyes fell open Daivat Frobisher's workshop once more. I had never seen a more welcoming sight in all of my life. I screamed for help until my throat was hoarse, but none came.

We were approaching the workshop now, almost coming level with it-without giving it a second thought, the most dangerous and impulsive thing I had done for a long, long while: I took both of James's arms and secured them around my neck like some sort of piggy-back ride. The same bout of strength ran through my veins again-looking back, I was completely befuddled as to how I had done this.

But in the moment, I slid off the edge of the glacier, holding James's upper arms in a death grip as his head lolled between my shoulder blades. Kicking my feet furiously, never moving my gaze from the platform of Daivat's workshop, we reached it. Blood rushing in my ears, I pulled James from my back,wedging my toes into the ice below me so I could push James up with both hands without floating away myself.

Finally, crying with frustration, on about the tenth try I managed to push him up, grinding my teeth and arms screaming from exhaustion. I was beginning to see double from the exertion and banging my head earlier, but I knew that James's condition was a hundred times worse.

"Daivat!" I screamed, trying to focus on something, anything as I pulled my own self up by some sort of miracle.

He appeared in an instant, rushing toward us...the edges of objects were going fuzzy, but I had to make my plea known before I passed out-

"S-save him! We-I-I won't bother you ever again, I don't need the time turner, if you just fix him, please!" I cried, curling up on the floor, looking to James's face, even paler now.

"Please," I sniffled, eyelids suddenly growing heavy, and everything growing dark.

My eyes began to open, and I blinked several times to clear the image in front of me; I sat up suddenly, remembering where I was. I looked around wildly for James, eyes wide-

My breathing returned to normal as I caught sight of his head peaking above a thick looking quilt across the room, his bed facing mine. I quickly pushed my own quilt off my body, padding over softly until I knelt at his bed. He looked remarkably healthy again, color back in his cheeks and lips. His breathing was even, and he was sleeping peacefully. His glasses and wand were sitting on a table next to him. I looked down at my body. I was wearing a t-shirt and pajama pants, both of which fit perfectly...I frowned suspiciously. I had not put these on myself. And I was willing to bet that if I pulled James's quilt down a bit, he would be wearing different clothes as well. I sat back on my heels, breathing back to normal now that I knew that James was alive.

We were in a small area, otherwise empty besides our two beds and tables. Looking back, my own table held the miniature helicopter, easily fit into my palm, my wand, and the chain with the locket and key. The walls were a shimmery, airy color; they couldn't seem to decide what shade they wanted to be, drifting lazily between purple and blue and green. I frowned at them.

The section we were in was closed off by a gauzy curtain, of which only dark shapes and silhouettes were visible of the room behind them.

I slowly made my way to the edge, listening, my breathing quiet. Soft noises issued back from the main area, but no conversation-Daivat appeared to be alone. I opened the curtain slowly, pulling it back with my hand. I stepped out swiftly.

"Mr. Frobisher?" I called softly. I was feeling slightly-but only slightly- more friendly toward him now that he had saved James's life.

"Ah, Lily Evans. You may call me Daivat. I was wondering when you would wake. Your injuries were minimal, although now they are nonexistent," he smiled, standing up from intently watching his map-table, muttering words over it.

"And James? Is he going to be alright as well?" I asked anxiously.

"Good as new, as soon as he wakes up," he smiled.

"We couldn't use magic on your journey," I blurted, crossing the room to stand by him. "Except wandless. Why?"

"Lily, I have found, over the years, that, once powerful enough, the wand only inhibits the wizard's raw power. I have not used a wand in centuries," I tried to nod without gaping like a fish, pretending that I heard this sort of information every day. "And the reason you could only use wandless magic is simply because I made it so. It would have been much too easy if you could have just apparated here, don't you think?"

"Yeah, I guess," I muttered. I was beginning to replay the scenes in my head where he had refused us entry. "How did I get into these clothes?" I asked suspiciously after glancing down at my new outfit.

"House elves," he exclaimed, cracking a smile. "And incidentally, you are very good at wandless magic. Not many witches of your age could accomplish such a task. Something about you is...different. I cannot quite place my finger on it...you seem...younger. And yet, have experienced more pain and darkness than anyone in the world should have to in their whole lifetime."

I looked down, closing my eyes briefly. "It's a long story. I told you the gist of it the first time we came, but...I was asleep for two years," I said softly. "And for a year, I was spying on Voldemort. I pretended to become a Death Eater."

Daivat's eyes widened. "Quite a lot of darkness indeed." I nodded. "And you were able to withstand the temptation yourself?"

"What temptation?"

"Why, to become dark yourself."

"Definitely!" I said quickly, and it was true. "The whole time I was there, all I thought about was how they all repulsed me, and I was too busy trying to keep myself sane, and remember my friends, my family..." I trailed off. His eyes were a very startling shade of violet. I had never seen such eyes. Offhand, I wondered if someone had two different colored eyes...and one was green like mine, and the other was violet like his. That would be odd.

"You are very strong, Lily," he said softly. "Believe me when I say-you do not need my time turner to start your life over," he shook his head. I lowered my eyes, crushed. I realized a part of me-well, more than a part, if I was being completely honest with myself-had been hoping that he would consent after our second meeting. I nodded in response, staring intently at the ground.

"One thing I don't understand," I began. Actually, there was more than one thing, but this one had been weighing on my mind for a while.

"Just one?" He smiled, sensing what I was thinking.

"Just one that's worth asking. Why don't..." I trailed off. "Why don't you use the turner to go back and kill Voldemort? Back before he was bad, so he never got the chance to kill anyone?"

Daivat shook his head. "The time turner doesn't work like that, Lily. The magic of the time turner is purely good. It would not accept its powers being used to kill someone, no matter how evil that person is."

"You make it sound like the thing has a personality," I said, disgruntled and unsatisfied with this conclusion.

"You never know. It must be pretty smart to bring someone back while keeping the things they did from being erased. Besides, do you think it right to kill someone for something they _might_ do?"

"What he _will_ do."

Daivat shook his head.

"Even if Voldemort never existed, someone else would fill his place, some other evil. Unfortunately, that is the way the world works," he smiled sadly.

"It shouldn't be," I said softly. Daivat stood.

"You must go back to bed, Lily," he stood, and was smiling a small sort of smile. I stood up with him, confused. Why the sudden mood change?

"Why?" I asked, narrowing my eyes.

"You are not completely well yet. Try and sleep once more," he chided, pulling open the curtain for me.

"A-alright," I said a bit uncertainly, watching him until his silhouette vanished. I pulled the quilt back up to my chin, thinking over his words. I craned my neck, looking at James over the side of the room-resting my head back down on the pillow, I suddenly felt sleepy...very sleepy...why was I feeling so tired? I struggled to fight against the sudden fogginess in my brain. But it was no use. The next time I blinked, I did not re-open my eyes.

I blinked slowly. Confusion washed over me. I looked around, baffled. I was alone, walking-I stopped, looking up into the flurry of snow. How did I get here? I shook my head, puzzled. I pinched my arm: nothing. It wasn't a dream. I was wearing my suit again. I began to run, shouting-

"James! Jaaaaammmmes! Are you here? Daivat? Anyone?" I began to run faster, the snow driving into my face. I was growing panicked. I slipped over a patch of ice, foot flying backwards as I landed on my stomach and elbows, neck cracking forward.

"Ouch!" I wheezed after I regained my breath. I slowly pulled myself up and massaging my elbows.

"Ahhhh!" A faint scream sounded, somewhere far in the distance-

"Hello?" I jumped up, teetering slightly on the ice. I quickly found the balance, and began to half-slide, half run, as fast as I could.

"Hello?" I screamed, blinking the coating of snowflakes off of my eyelashes. Where was I?

"Heeeelp!" The voice sounded again, closer this time. It was female-

"Who's there?" I sped up, running and sliding-I was beginning to see dark figures a midst the swirling snow, and I squinted, cupping my hands around my eyes to better see-

"Hey!" I yelled, drawing my wand. The two men looked up-they were holding a little girl at wandpoint, and she was crying. She looked no older than fourteen, and the two men were full grown, burly and tall. "Let her go!" I demanded.

"Wand down! Now, or we kill her!" The burlier of the two commands, and he pushed the wandpoint further into the girl's temple. She let out a sob, blue eyes watery. All three of them were wearing heavy furred clothes-

"Now!" The slightly smaller of the two repeated. I slowly began to sink into a crouch, never taking my eyes off of them. The man who was not holding the girl pointed his wand at me, and in his other fist, held behind and above him, was-a necklace?

"Now here, girlie. We have no use for this-"

"What is that?" I snapped, motioning to the necklace which they refer to.

"It's some sort of time turner, far as we can figure," he sneered, and my eyes immediately widened. "This girl had stolen it from Daivit."

"I needed it!" She burst out, a wild look in her eyes. "I needed it-please-"

"Quiet!" The man barked at her. "Now you can take this, and we'll kill her-or you can walk away with her."

"Give her to me," I immediately yelled over the whistling wind.

"Girlie, do you understand what this time turner can do?" The bigger man asked in disbelief, beady eyes widening. "It can-"

"I know what it can do, and a human life is much more valuable than a trinket, however powerful," I snapped, arms out and waiting for them to release the girl. "If it's so powerful, than why were you willing to give it to me?" They did not respond. "Now give her here, and be on your way."

"You're making the wrong choice, she's a thief," the smaller sneered.

"Now," I snapped, lunging for my wand. The two men released the girl, and she ran, sobbing, toward me-she ran head-long into my arms, hugging me like I was a mother that she hadn't seen in years.

"Th-th-thank you," she looked up at me with watery blue eyes. "Thank you, Lily."

"You-" I stopped, starting. "How did you know my name?" I pulled back from her, looking at her suspiciously. A ghost of a smile tugged at her lips...I gasped as her eyes tinted themselves purple, for just half a second, short enough for me to doubt what I had just seen.

"Your eyes!" I gasped.

"What about my eyes?" She looked at me, confused, and not looked just like the normal girl that I had just rescued again.

"Where are those men?" I asked suspiciously, looking at the blank expanse of snow in front of us..blank but for footprints, there was no one in sight. The footprints of them standing there were still etched in the snow, but there was no trace of them walking away. "They vanished..." I thought aloud. I blinked, and my location changed.

For a second, I panicked-where was I?

But something dull slid over my mind, coating up the girl and what had just ha-wait. I stopped myself, shaking my head. What girl?

I shook my head, scrunching my eyebrows. Something was off.

"James?" I startled, jumping at a sound coming from my right. I was in some sort of forest, dark green and filled with chirps and bird whistles. Vines hung down from trees and moss coated the ground, carpeting the dirt in a moist layer, spreading up to the trunks. A small stream ran to my right, the water too filled with algae to drink. "Who's there?" I cried loudly, snapping branches as I made my way to the right, hopping over the stream but not making it completely, drenching my foot. Pulling it out of the mucky water and letting out a noise of disgust, I almost fell back in the stream at what I saw.

Galleons. Loads of galleons. More than I'd ever seen in one place-no, more than I'd ever seen in my whole life put together. There was a pile that easily reached over my head.

But something to the left of that pile caught my eye-

It was the time turner. I knew without a doubt. It looked almost like a regular time turner, but bigger, and more...intricate. And it was pure silver, not gold.

I immediately took a step toward the turner.

The gold pile to the side dimmed.

I took a step back, and it brightened again.

I was starting to get an idea of what this was.

I took a step toward the gold pile, and the levitating time turner dimmed-it was a choice, money or the time turner. I rolled my eyes-the answer was obvious. I didn't even have to think about it.

I took a step toward the time turner. Then another, then another, until I plucked it out of the air. But the minute I touched it, the wind began to swirl around me, leaves and clods of dirt and moss being picked up as the violent gale grew fiercer. I began to yell, reaching in my suit for my wand-it was there, and I pulled it out, but what spell was I to use?

I tried to apparate, but I couldn't concentrate-

I let in a sharp gasp as my feet left the ground, and the wind stilled around me. I involuntarily closed my eyes.

And my feet were back on the ground. Well, my back was. I was on my bed, Daivat and James staring down at me.

"You passed!" James roared, pulling me up and hugging me, spinning me around.

"James-James, what are you talking about? What did I pass?" He set me down and I looked at him, puzzled, hands still on his shoulders. He had a huge grin and his glasses were hanging lopsided off his nose. I pushed them, back up, and his grin only grew.

"Lily!" He screeched,pulling me up. He put his hands behind me neck, grinning. Then he moved forward, crushing his lips to mine-I was too shocked to respond for a couple seconds before I moved to put my arms around his back, pulling him closer to me and kissing him with fervor-finally!

We broke apart, grinning madly.

-"You passed Daivat's test, and so did I! He's going to let us use the time turner!" James exclaimed.

**A\N-Sorry I haven't been responding to reviews lately, I have been very busy writing my next story, but I still appreciate every single review and I would be so happy if you left one now:D**


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18: See You on the Other Side

_ I won't give up on us even if the skies get rough, I'm givin' you all my love-I'm still lookin' up. -Jason Mraz "I Won't Give Up"_

"What?!" I screamed, trembling and turning to Daivat, energized by James's kiss and the possibility that I might be able to go back.

"Lily, the most powerful wizards can create-sort of an illusion, a hallucination, if you will-"

"I already know!" I rushed, legs giving out. Thankfully, James was there to lend his strong arms. He set me back up straight, resting his forehead on mine and grinning like a mad man.

"James, we all get to go back!" I could barely contain my excitement. I began to hop up and down again, getting the sudden urge to dance around the room and scream my lungs out.

"I wasn't going to let you the first time you came here," Daivat chuckled. "The second time got me thinking. So I tested you, and you passed. You both deserve it," he said earnestly, smiling. "Remember, when you return, your memories of this will fade fast, much faster than a normal memory. James, you won't remember anything, you realize," James's eyes turned a bit sad, and he pulled me into a hug. I rested my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes and breathing in deep. James had kissed me, I registered with shock, a tingle running through my body. But did it mean anything, or was it just in the ecstasy of the moment?

"I'll just...give you two a minute," Daivat slid tactfully out from behind the curtains, smiling.

"I won't remember that you're a hero, no one will, but that doesn't make you any less of one," he murmured into my hair, and I pulled back to look in his eyes. A beautiful compilation of brown, green, blue...overlapping, merging, standing alone, like an intricate spiderweb kaleidoscope. I could spend years looking at his eyes and never tire of them, I thought. Little did I know he was thinking the same. I could spend years looking at them and never figure out what color they were. A sudden stab of loneliness shot through me-I felt like I was leaving him, though in reality I was only going back to him. Getting more time with him.

"James, you're a hero too. No one else I know would have dropped everything to go off adventuring with me," I murmured.

"Evans, you so like me," James broke into a smile, pulling away and doing a goofy victory dance.

"What?!" I spluttered. "I so do not!" I was steadily turning red, and James threw back his head and laughed, narrowly avoiding spinning out of control and knocking into the bed he had recovered on.

"Do too!"

"Do not!"

"Do too!

"Do not!

He grinned, bending over to look at me in the eyes, his face inches away. "Do not!" He said, and I automatically said the opposite-

"Do too!" I protested. I immediately realized what I said, and the smile on my face turned into a look of shock as my jaw dropped, eyebrows shooting up into my hairline. "That-that did not count!" I spluttered, putting my hands on his head and mussing up his hair.

"Hey!" He protested, retaliating by locking his arms around my waist and spinning me until I was dizzy.

"What, I thought you liked it like that?" I teased when he set me down.

"I do," he admitted. "And so do you," he teased, winking devilishly.

"James Potter, I-" I never got the chance to finish my sentence, because then James kissed me. He held me close with one arm, the other arm behind my head. I worked my hands into his hair, kissing him back.

And it was pretty much the best kiss ever.

When we broke apart, both of us were smiling like fools. He kissed down my neck and I let out a little sigh.

"I'm not really leaving, you know," I said softly. "Just coming back."

"I know," he nodded. "And we get to do it all over again!" He grinned. "Don't worry, I mature up a bit somewhere in there," he promised.

"I don't need you too mature up too much, just enough so you don't hex every boy that looks at me twice," I rolled my eyes teasingly. "Remember Marcus? Marcus Blewstry?" James reddened.

"It needed to be done, though I admit I could have merely...turned his hair pink or something."

"That would have been slightly better," I rolled my eyes.

"Here," he walked and picked up the helicopter, the locket, and the key from my bedside table. He made them even smaller than they already were, magically reducing them, and tied them all onto the chain, looping it around my neck. "Remember to tell me, even if I won't believe you," he whispered as Daivat came in.

"Life is the journey," he said cryptically.

"What?" James and I said together, puzzled.

"That is the latin on the locket. And the locket will become dormant as soon as you travel back in time," I nodded, swallowing hard. "Whenever you are ready. You know how it works, do you not? It will not only bring you back in time, it will actually re-do time. But a wonderful flaw is that you are able to keep a single thing that happened the first time around, happen again." I nodded slowly. "I won't try to explain any more than that, you do not need to know the whole complicated story, it would only succeed in frying your brain," he smiled, violet eyes twinkling. "Goodbye, Lily."

"Thank you," I told him, and hugged James. "Thank you," I whispered again, this time into James's ear.

"Twist the time turner-four times should suffice. It knows what you want kept the same, don't worry about that bit," he winked, and I stepped away from James, not letting go of his hand, or dropping his gaze. I squeezed his fingers for support, suddenly a bit afraid. What if something went wrong? Would I end up in the exact second I had left? I closed my eyes and James gripped my hands tighter, sensing my doubt.

"See you on the other side," he whispered bravely.

I began to twist the time turner.

One. Silver mist began to twirl around me, and James's grip was gone from mine. I bit my lip, trying not to cry out. My pajama clothes and hair whipped around me as the wind picked up, obscuring my view. I saw shadowy figures fly by faster than I could focus on them-

Two. I continued to speed up, silver tendrils of mist curling around my legs, my arms. Enveloping me.

Three. Excitement was building in me, my fingers were shaking and my legs felt like they were going to buckle at any second. I was spinning, flying through time-erasing it. Starting over. But one thing-stopping Voldemort-it would still happen.

Four. Suddenly the silver mist retracted, bursting into sparks. I closed my eyes as the time turner turned to powdered sand and slipped through my fingers. My feet met hard ground, and I stumbled, eyes flying open as my palms hit the ground.

"Oof!" I exclaimed, eyes wide as I stared down at the floor, on my hands and knees. I was on the rooftop of Marlene's house in Greece! I shot to my feet, shaking with excitement and exuberance, drinking in the sight around me- same white-washed and painted buildings slanted down-hill toward the sea, merging and overlapping like one big family.

My legs began to pump, and I ran. I practically threw myself down the ladder and skipped the last meter completely, jumping down it. I ran to the door, trembling. I lifted my hand, about to knock-I dismissed the idea. I opened the door slowly.

"-should go to Knockturn alley too, just to make sure. I mean, wouldn't you think that those dodgy people would know where she is, if anyone does? It's been two days, people!" Came James's frantic voice.

"Who knows how much longer she'll be gone? She might need our help right now!" Agreed Marlene.

"Or she could be standing behind you all, waiting to be hugged," everyone in the room turned, a look of pure shock on each of their faces.

"Lily?" Four gasps emitted from around the table.

"In the flesh," I grinned, and was immediately crushed into a hug.

"Lily!" Marlene and Remus reached me first, throwing their arms around me hugging me furiously. I tried not to explode with happiness as I stuttered out a hello. I was amazed-it had worked. It had really worked.

"Where were you?" Marlene shrieked, pulling back but then pulling me into another bone-crushing hug.

"My turn to hug!" Sirius protested, throwing his arms out as I crashed into him and he lifted me off the ground, laughing.

"I don't exactly remember," I said as he set me down. "James!" I positively screamed, launching myself into the arms of James Potter, who held me tighter than ever, spinning me.

"What do you mean, you don't remember?" Remus said, ashen-faced. I didn't want to lie to my friends, but what else was I to say?

"I just-don't," I said, and they all looked at me oddly.

"Where did you get this necklace? Whose clothes are you wearing?" Marlene bombarded, pointing at my apparel. I blinked, remembering the necklace, smiling goofily at the helicopter and looking at James, half-expecting him to get it. I contained my guffaw when he looked just as shocked as the other three.

"You didn't tell my parents I went missing, did you?" I asked, suddenly worried. "Oh my Godric, what do your parents think?" I clamped my hands on my cheeks, looking at Marlene.

"They think you went and visited your parents, don't worry," she calmed me. "And no, no one else knew you were gone." I stood there, smiling like an idiot.

"C'mon Lily, let's go upstairs," Marlene tugged at my arm.

"Alright," I said, staring at James, then Sirius, then Remus. I had missed them all so much. I pulled all three protesting boys (well, James wasn't protesting) into a hug.

"It's only been two days, Lils!" Sirius squirmed.

"I don't care," I laughed, wishing I could tell him how wrong he was. "It feels like it's been years."

It took me a full week to get back into the swing of things, to stop jumping whenever an unexpected noise startled me, to stop grinning goofily into space and thanking everyone and telling them all how amazing they were.

We were swimming before a storm hit-dark clouds were rolling in from the sky, the air warm and full with energy.

"Remus!" I gasped as he came up behind me, dunking me unexpectadly. "I'll get you for that!" I spluttered, diving after him.

"Look out be-looooooow!" Sirius bellowed as he jumped, flailing, from the edge of a boat whose owner we did not know.

"Ahhh!" Marlene and I screamed as we ducked underwater to avoid the blast of water.

I was having the best time of my life, and nothing could change that-

"Hello, boys!" Came a perky voice from the dock several meters away. "And you two," the voice took on a slightly more disdainful tone.

"Who's that again?" I muttered. Her face vaguely rung a bell...oh! I remembered now.

"Hey, Amanda!" I greeted the girl politely, remembering that she was rather shallow and I did not like her. Marlene looked at me, startled. Amanda glared.

"What?" I asked, completely confused.

"That's Agatha," Marlene hissed in my ear, trying to contain her laughter.

"Oh! Sorry, Agatha!" I blushed, ducking under water to avoid being splashed by James.

"Come on it, Aggie! Water's amazing, I promise!" Sirius popped up close to the dock, swimming like a fish, shaking his hair to get the water out like a dog.

"If you insist," Agatha giggled, pulling off her cover-up to reveal the skimpiest white bikini I had ever seen.

"Wow," I winced, slightly hurt as the boys began to completely ignore us, flirting with Agatha.

"Ignore them," Marlene rolled her eyes, kicking back into a backstroke and floating away. "What was that, anyway? You didn't remember Agatha," she looked at me suspiciously. "I still think you should write Dumbledore and tell him..." she trailed off when I gave her a look. They all thought I had somehow been kidnapped by Voldemort, or something equally as sinister. I frowned, trying to remember the last name of Susanna, the woman I had become for...how long was it, again? My frown deepened as I tried to remember. The edges were getting hazy.

" Lazaraith!" I blurted aloud. "That was it!"

"Yeah, okay," Marlene looked at me like I was crazy. The next time we looked over, James and Agatha were nowhere to be seen-Remus and Sirius were jumping off the unmanned boat.

"Let's try that!" I said excitedly to Marlene, pointing to the boat.

"Race you," Marlene grinned, and we took off toward the ladder on the side, laughing and shoving each other.

"Ha!" She proclaimed as she reached the ladder first, shooting up a dripping arm and grabbing a rung.

"Don't fall!" I called up to her as I began to climb behind her. The drop from the top was about six meters, (20 feet) but would be a lot more painful if we fell because Marlene slipped.

"Gee Lily, thanks for the vote of confidence," I could tell she was rolling her eyes, and I grinned. We finally reached the top, Sirius and Remus cheering us on from below.

"You go first," she advised, looking down at the drop.

"C'mon, Lily!" Sirius roared, motioning me down. "I'll be fifty by the time you girls get down here!"

"Fine, but I'm going backwards!" I laughed, turning around.

"Why backwards?" Marlene gasped, stepping up on the edge, preparing to jump with me.

"I'm not really sure," I admitted. Suddenly, a scene from below caught my eye-

Agatha and James locked in an embrace. They were kissing fiercely, passionately, arms locked around each other-it looked like they were wrestling-

"Whoa!" I screamed, foot slipping and losing my balance. I didn't remember falling, but suddenly I was shooting down in the sea, water shooting up my nose.

"Ah!" I coughed and spluttered as I came up, nose throbbing.

"You alright, Lily?" Marlene called down.

"Yeah!" I called back up, blushing red. I still couldn't get the image of James snogging Agatha out of my mind.

I ducked under the water, screaming as loudly as I could where no one could hear me. I had to remind myself-this wasn't mature James. This was sixth-year James. I didn't have him yet, maybe I never would. He wasn't mine, I scolded myself fiercely. I tried not to care, I really did.

But I was ashamed to admit I ignored them both pointedly when they came out from behind the boat, her on his back, both laughing as she whispered in his ear.

"Go Prongsie!" Sirius bellowed, cannon-balling half-way up the ladder as he saw his best mate come back with the girl. Remus looked sideways at me sympathetically. I was crushed.

"What?" I caught him looking at me.

"James can be a bit insensitive," he tried to apologize for his friend.

"I don't even care, he can snog whoever he likes!" I snapped, instantly feeling bad for taking my anger out on Remus. "Sorry," I apologized.

All of the affection I had been starting to grow for James on the mission for Daivat was quickly dissipating-if this kept up, we'd be back to Evans and Potter in no time.

"Quit!" I hissed at James across the table, eyes flashing. He pretended he didn't hear me, kicking me in the ankle yet again. I had refused to be anything more than coolly polite to James for the past two days now, and was absolutely furious with him. Furious for not growing up faster, for being Agatha's boyfriend, for not remembering. There. I said it. I was disappointed I'd shared so much with him, and he didn't remember it. But still, I'd promised him-well, older him-that I'd tell him, and I would. As soon as my anger wore off.

James kicked me again and I retailed quickly, kicking out as hard as I could, and my toes connected with something hard. I smirked into my potatoes with satisfaction.

"Ouch!" Hissed Sirius over the table, eyes watering with pain. "What the hell was that?" He glared at Marlene.

"It wasn't me, Black, you can look at your friend Potter over there, he's been kicking Lily ever since supper started," Marlene snapped, eyes flashing. My spat with James led to Marlene's with Sirius, and Remus-

"Stop fighting, you all!" Remus exploded, banging his fist on the table. The adults' conversation from inside the kitchen stopped for a moment, but resumed once they didn't hear anything else.

We all looked at Remus.

"Can we eat somewhere else, Marlene?" I looked pointedly away from everyone but Marlene, who was sitting beside me. "Somewhere my legs can get a break, and bruise in private," I threw a pointed glare at Potter, who retailed by smiling with a mouthful of steak. "Lovely," I groaned as Sirius shot a grape into his open smile.

"My pleasure," she said coolly, and we took our plates and left.

"Ugh, so bloody-"

"Frustrating, I know! You'd think we were-"

"At a table with two year olds!" We grumbled over each other, walking out into the night to sit on the roof. "Ugh, that Agatha is erasing any progress with growing up that Potter had made, and it's not a good influence with Black, either!" I growled, eyes flashing.

"I think they need to be taught a lesson," Marlene began to grin devilishly.

"What do you mean?" I raised my eyebrow suspiciously as we surreptitiously levitated our dishes up to the roof, making sure no muggle was watching.

"You remember at the beginning of the summer how I told you that James's dad agreed to help us prank the boys if they got too unbearable?" The memory snapped into place and I began to smile as well, cackling loudly once I jumped onto the flat roof.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" I grinned.

"Oh yes, dear Lily."

Marlene went and got Mr. Potter, who gladly followed us up onto the roof. He was in his sixties, but sprung up the ladder as agile as a teenager.

"What's happening, girls?" He rubbed his hands together, a smile alighting on the face that was so like James's. "Time for the pranksters to be out-pranked?"

"Yes!" Marlene and I exclaimed together. "What have you got?" I asked him excitedly, leaning in.

"Well, here's where we start..."

"Night, Potter," I smirked on the way up to the stairs.

"Black," Marlene continued, walking behind me.

"Remus," we said together, hiding our laughs as we began to run, clutching our stomachs, not able to contain it any longer.

"There's something up with those two," we heard Sirius say before we entered our rooms, and burst into guffaws, slamming the door behind us.

"Ooooh, they're going to just love us tomorrow!" Marlene flung herself backward onto her bed, shoulders shaking with silent laughter.

"I know," I said smugly. "Just wait until they get up and try to leave their room!"

I closed my eyes and recounting exactly just what we'd done. Before we knew it we'd fallen into a sleep, mischievous smiles on both of our faces.

"What-argh! JAMES!" Sirius's bellow carried through the walls, waking us up. I looked to Marlene, burying my face in my pillow and positively screaming with laughter. With a few invisible tunnel entrances and an apparation target-hole, not to mention an few muggle tricks, you could do anything.

The Marauders

Sirius started, half awake and half still being chased by Snivelly in a tutu. He batted repeatedly at his nose, finally turning over, face in his pillow and butt in the air, trying to get comfortable. Something was still tickling the back of his head-

He finally got his fingers around it, pulling it down to his face to get a closer-

"What-Argh! JAMES!" He shouted-suddenly, his bed was flying, catapulting him backward to the wall-but not the wall-he went shooting, slipping and screaming down a cream covered slide, now it had covered him with some sort of mush-he was flying up in the air, over the house-he flailed, yelling loudly as a hole in the ceiling appeared and he landed back on his bed, terrified, covered with goo. All too fast for him to think, but his heart was pounding wildly, fingers trembling with the sudden shock. He was wider awake than he'd ever been. And then, much to his dismay, the ceiling began to rain feathers-covering a steaming mad Sirius with the furry bits. James, he thought. Only his best mate could pull such a well-thought out prank.

At the same time, James was also having trouble-he awoke to Sirius's shouts, eyes open and lines blurry. Groaning, he saw Sirius's bed do some sort of weird move, propelling his best friend toward the wall-when the bed came down, Sirius was nowhere to be seen-but James had just caught the tail end of a hole in the wall. He blinked madly, desperately reaching for his glasses, hand roving the table by his bed, knocking down everything and finally coming upon-oh, no.

Another hand was grasping James's, and he was being pulled into, under his night stand, catapulted through the air in his room, and hit some sort of squishy target, being pulled into it, being soaked completely with something, and suddenly, a soaking wet James Potter was rolled through feathers. And then, somehow, he was being forced to apparate-

He coughed, blinking and jamming his glasses onto his face, which somehow managed to stay clutched in his hand. He was shocked, eyes wide-he hadn't even been given the chance to think. The room came into focus-

"AH!" He yelled, jumping back. A figure in the bed above him stirred, and when the lump under the covers moved-

"Agatha?"

"AHHHH!" She screamed, opening her mouth and screaming loudly just as James exclaimed her name. "James? What-how-you-feathers-?!" She shot up, bringing her pillow to her eyes. "I'm not wearing make up! Get out! Out! Out out out! Ugh, you creeper! We're through!" She swatted at him with the pillow, and he was too stunned to move-only one thought in his mind- Sirius. Only he could pull a prank like this. He stomped back to Marlene's house, wide awake, barely even remembering that Agatha had just dumped him. The sun was just rising, and people were already out of their houses-pointing and gasping at James's feather covered body, he gritted his teeth and waved, hoping they wouldn't recognize him with all the feathers. Unfortunately, his face had escaped the feather treatment.

"SIRIUS BLACK!" He bellowed once he opened the door to the house. Sirius thundered down the stairs, appearing at the bottom, coated with feathers as well-

"Sirius-"

"James-

"You-"

"You-"

"Lily and Marlene!" They gasped together, the answer dawning on them. They raced up the staircase, all the way trying to pick their feathers off to no avail.

Back in the room, Remus turned over in his sleep, snoring loudly.

"Quick, they're coming!" I gasped as I began to hear footsteps. Marlene and I threw ourselves back down, and I curled up, bringing the quilt to my chin and closing my eyes, slowing my breathing.

"LILY EVANS!"

"MARLENE MCKINNON!" The boys bellow, and I pretended to open my eyes slowly, yawning and stretching.

"Hello, boys," Marlene announced sleepily as I rubbed my eyes, trying to hold in my laugh.

"What's with the feathers?" I asked, feigning innocence, eyes bugging out at our beautiful masterpiece.

"Don't play innocent!" Sirius growled, pointing a finger.

"He's right, Lils, we should get a picture," Marlene shrugged, and before either boy could react, she levitated her camera we both sidled up to the boys sides, grinning wildly-

"Say cheese!" I screamed with the hilariousness of it all, and the camera flashed just as Sirius took my shoulder and began to muss up my hair.

"Ahh!" I screamed, and Sirius pulled me up, threw me into his arms, bridal style, as James did Marlene.

"Si-Sirius, what are you doing?" I asked, shaking with laughter.

"Water, Prongs?"

"You got it, Pads." Marlene and I screamed in protest, but really both of us were shaking too badly with derisive laughter to really try and struggle.

"Wish I could-have-seen-your face!" I laughed, slapping his arms, tears squeezing out my eyes.

"Get these feathers of me!" He yelled-we were almost to the water, and suddenly I realized that I didn't want to go in!

"No!" I screamed, pounding his arms, still laughing, which probably made it hard to take me seriously. "Put me down! Sirius Black, put me down this instant or you'll never know the removing charm for those feathers!" Sirius only cackled madly.

"You want me to put you down, Lily?" He grinned evilly, walking out onto the dock.

"Yes-but-on-dry land!" I screamed, struggling as the fishermen in the boats laughed at us.

"Sweet revenge!" Sirius yelled as I twisted, screaming until I hit the water a meter down.

"James Potter, I will get you!" Marlene screamed as she was thrown in as well. I suddenly had a stroke of genius-as they were both slapping their knees and generally appreciating their cleverness, I pulled Marlene to me and whispered-"Under the dock! There's a few inches, we can stick out mouths out and breath, and they'll think we've drowned, and we'll get them in here as well!" I said excitedly, tugging her arm. She nodded excitedly and we both submerged. I opened my eyes into the green, murky depths, sun rays shining through ahead of us. Marlene turned to me and I pointed to the dock above. She nodded, hair floating around her face, and we quickly swum up, trying to still our ragged breaths as we put our mouths out of the water, lips just centimeters from the wood. We clutched the cracks between the board with our fingers until we got into a more comfortable position-thankfully, there was more room than we'd thought, and we could tread water, keeping half of our face above water.

"Hey-where'd they go?" James said, their laughter finally dying. I looked to Marlene, holding in my laughter and trying to ignore the gigantic fish swimming around our ankles.

"They were just-just there!" Sirius protested, and their footfalls were extra loud as they pounded above our heads.

"Jump in laddies, they must have drowned!" Roared the fisherman who'd laughed quietly to himself, watching as we'd gone under and knowing what we were doing.

Two splashes followed, and I ducked underwater for a moment, opening my eyes to see the forms of James and Sirius, kicking to stay above water, bubbles trickling up toward the surface from where they had jumped in.

"Lily!" James yelled, going under, facing the opposite way, and probably opened his eyes and Sirius began to shout for Marlene.

I ducked underwater, watching James with my nose plugged so as to save as much air as I possibly could. James turned around under the water, looking panicked-

He yelled something underwater, probably my name, eyebrows shooting up and eyes widening as he grabbed the corner of Sirius's shirt, pulling him down and pointing at us. Marlene had submerged as well and both of us were smiling cheekily and waving at them, hair drifting around our shoulders and heads, pajamas billowing out. We looked at each other and high fived, kicking our way out from under the dock.

"Ha, ha!" Marlene gasped as we put our heads above the water, laughing hysterically at James and Sirius's faces. The feathers still stuck to them, everywhere but their faces, just like we'd planned. They wouldn't lose the feathers for a while-twenty four hours, give or take, depending on the potency of the spell cast.

"That was hilarious!" I said, flinging red strands of hair out of my face.

"No! It was not!" Sirius shouted, spraying us both with water, pushing his palms out toward us. "We though you had drowned!" Sirius pushed forward through the water and tackled Marlene, burying his head on her shoulder and holding her tight. She was too shocked to move, only to wrap her arms back around him and rest her chin on the top of his head, looking at me, shocked, like-what?

James pointedly looked away at me, peeved. And I pointedly looked in the other direction, nose in the air. If he didn't want to talk to me, or even look at me...two could play that game.

Thus, Marlene and Sirius's spat ended, and James and mine reached a whole nother level. Sirius and Marlene walked back to the house together, hands linked and whispering to each other softly, laughing every once in a while. James and I walked behind them, across the road from each other, pointedly not looking toward the other. I firmly crossed my arms over my chest, though it felt rather odd to walk doing so.

Potter, I seethed, was despicable. Trust him to always be after me to lighten up, and when I finally did, and pulled one tiny, little prank, he went into his own little world! He was a hypocrite! And-and whenever a bloke even looked my way, much less tried to ask me out, they would end up in the hospital wing! And James had a girlfriend, and I had the "nerve" to be a tad bit upset about it! Well, I will tell you something, I wasn't upset anymore! I couldn't care less!

"You know, you're really a hypocrite, aren't you?" I snapped, finally looking over to him.

"Me?" He pointed to himself incredulously.

"No! The bloke behind you!" I shouted sarcastically.

"Give me one reason why I'm the hypocrite here! You're the one who blasted me and my best mate through a wall and drenched us in feathers!" He clenched his fist, walking toward me. We stopped in the middle of the path-Sirius and Marlene stopped to watch for a moment as we glared at each other, soaking wet and livid, until Sirius whispered something to her and they continued toward the house.

"I can give you several! Starting with that-statement-right-there!" I poked him in the chest four times to emphasize the last words. "You pull pranks on me for years, and now you get mad because I pull one little-"

"Oh, so that's what this is about?" He rolled his eyes. "It's not about Agatha, is it? Because that's where I ended up, you know," he looked at me, eyes wide and glasses sliding off, down his nose slick with water. I resisted the urge to push them back up.

"What are you talking about, Potter?" I yelled, crossing my arms and scrunching up my nose.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about! You're jealous, and you can't handle it!" He shouted, waving his arms frantically. We were both big on talking with out hands.

"What do you mean, I can't handle it?" I pointed to myself with both hands, flinging them out and gesturing frantically to the rest of the world on the next part, flailing hands causing him to take a step back. "I could care less who you date, Potter, I really could. Does the name Marcus Blewstry ring a bell, any at all in that fricking big head of yours?" I rapped my knuckles on the side of his head. He caught my wrist to stop me from repeating the motion, and wouldn't let go until the third time I tried tugging it out of his grip.

"Hell Evans, I told you I was sorry!" He exclaimed. I had to stop and think about that-the sad thing was, I really couldn't remember if he did or not. It must have shown on my face, and I suddenly shrunk back. James and I were having a shouting match in the middle of the street. I suddenly couldn't look at him anymore, and felt like crying. I whirled around and began to run away, eyes blurring.

"Lily, what-LILY!" He shouted after me, feet pounding.

"Don't follow me!" I yelled in a thick voice, wiping furiously at my eyes. "Just leave me alone!"

**A\N: Alright, I didn't have time for any proofreading with this chapter, so sorry for any mistakes. A HUGE thank you to all my readers and reviewers, you make pushing the update button worth it:D**


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